Chapter Text
Jungkook
ASJHjshwnxjr
hyung
I just saw a real live God so u can stop being atheist
I want to worship his dick
and maybe kiss him and like propose and live together in gay harmony until we’re 103 and too old to get it up anymore
hyung what do I do
Unknown
I’m not sure who this is, but my advice is to talk to whoever it is. That always works for me
Jungkook
Yoongi hyung, pls I really need help. U know I can’t talk to people . And he’s so pretty. And soft. I want to wrap him in blankets and feed him pizza rolls...and I once punched my brother for eating my pizza rolls
and holy shit he just smiled at his phone and I swear I just saw that anime sparkle thing in person
Unknown
sorry I’m not Yoongi hyung although that name sounds familiar. It sounds like you really like this guy tho. Good luck! 🥳
Jungkook
shit sorry 😐
I was walking and texting and I must have messed something up.
and now a perfect stranger knows I’m secretly a dramatic thirsty hoe
Unknown
aren’t we all a lil bit thirsty on the inside?
Jungkook
u rite
thanks for not screaming at me tho. I’ll leave u alone now. Sorry again
Unknown
wait! I’m all invested now and I want to hear more 😟
also I’m supposed to be doing some class reading and the sunlight isn’t helping me stay focused like I thought so now this is a good distraction
tell me more about this “God” of yours
Jungkook
this isn’t going to lead to me losing a kidney or being sold into the sex trade is it? I also won’t give you my credit card number
Unknown
lmao no. Just bored and this is the most interesting thing that’s happened all day. U don’t have 2 tell me anything. Stranger danger
Jungkook
naw, it’ll give me a cover while I sit here and stare at him like a creep from across the courtyard
Unknown
see? I feel like we know each other well. I know that you’re a gay voyeur that worships dick and what else do you really need to know about a person after that
Jungkook
hsuwhcjsk
...I said hold hands and shit too
Unknown
actually you didn’t but we can add it to the list
so what’s his name
Jungkook
I don’t know
I literally just saw him when I came outside to draw
he’s sitting against a tree and the sun is shining down on him and he’s the most beautiful person on this planet??
like so fucking pretty I think I’m probably hallucinating because he can’t be real??
Unknown
why r these questions
Jungkook
I have no idea. I think I’ve genuinely lost my mind
Unknown
this is so cute. I wish someone would talk about me like this 🥰
Jungkook
maybe someone is and you don’t know it because they r like me and their brain stops working when they have to use words
Unknown
It’s really that hard for you to go up and say hi? Like, not saying that in a mean judgey way, just curious
Jungkook
yeh. I get anxious and panic and can’t breathe and nothing I mean to say comes out right. It’s a mess
Unknown
what’s your name? I wanna check in later and see if you ever talked to him later
that sounded creepy, never mind
Jungkook
u can call me jk. I won’t give u my real name because you’re probably like 200 and trying to invite me into your dungeon with popsicles
Unknown
Rude
I’m in my very early 20’s thank u
and sexy as hell. I don’t need to lure anyone. I’m responsible for half of Seoul’s gay awakenings
Jungkook
kinda sounds like what a old perv would say
Unknown
I wanna be mad but that’s probably tru
Jungkook
oh no he’s getting up
I don’t know wtf I should do
u know what I’m giving up on this college life and becoming a stalker
I think this is my true calling
he just laughed but it was like a giggle? And so cute? I think heaven just opened up and the angel’s choir is playing
Unknown
first, pls no stalking. that’s bad. also I have to go. Some friends want to hang out but this was amusing. Thanks for the distraction JK.
Jungkook
u didn’t tell me your name
Unknown
u can call me Diminie
Jungkook
what kind of name is Diminie?
Diminie
exactly
later JK
member, no stalking. And no texting randos.