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Cordelia really had planned to retire to her room like James had requested but as she rounded the top of the stairs she heard Grace's voice and couldn't quell her curiosity. She was weary, it has been a long long day. She didn't think she could take another heartbreak but she also couldn't bear the thought of not knowing.
Cordelia hung back but quickly regretted that decision as the next words rolled from their lips.
"I had to tell you darling," Grace's sickly sweet voice rang like a tuning fork through Cordelia's skull, "I am going to end it with Charles. I cannot bear it anymore. James. I will not marry him. There was never anyone for me but you."
Cordelia felt dizzy as James' response followed, "Thank god".
Blood sang in Cordelia's ears. Oh dear god she thought she might be sick. She heard the door of the drawing room shut and as quietly as possible she slowed her breathing and collected herself. She was going to hear this out even if I meant shattering her heart in the process, she deserved the truth.
As she slipped silently back down the stairs she heard James' voice, it sounded like barely controlled thunder, rolling through the door at an alarmingly low tone. Cordelia had never heard James use this tone of voice with anyone and was immediately alarmed and more dangerously, intrigued. She leaned over the banister hesitantly, closing her eyes to more clearly make out who and what James was so upset about. Her efforts to hear seemed to be quickly redundant as James' voice raised to a shout.
"What did it do to me?"
"There is no point shouting" Grace’s voice was strung tightly like the sharp string of a violin.
As Cordelia listened further she felt the sick feeling in her stomach turning from fear to rage. Rage for James. Rage for all the years they had lost he had lost. Rage at that stupid bracelet and Rage of Belilal, at Hell, for once again corrupting something so noble and true like love and and stamping it out, like Lillith had stamped Cordelia's heroic passion out of her.
Unable to take it she wearily sat down, depositing herself above the landing of the stairs. She was so overwhelmed with thoughts of curses and lies and all the good things of her and James' soul seemingly twisted she didn't hear the door open and didn't notice James until he stood in front of her. She raised her head to look up at him and as she did she took in his still flushed face and thinly controlled rage. But all of that seemed to melt the moment he saw her sitting there, waiting for him. He slid to his knees on the landing in front of her and promptly buried his face in the skirt of her dress. He folded his arms around his head like a school boy trying to sleep in class and it would all have been quite charming if not for the circumstances. Cordelia hadn't gotten a chance to change into her dressing gown for the night and was still in her rumpled, and frankly ruined, day dress and James had just finished a very arduous and draining interrogation with someone he had— up until recently — believed himself to be in love with.
"James I-", Cordelia felt a sudden wash of embarrassment at eavesdropping on James' exchange with Grace. She has been momentarily so shocked by the content of the conversation all common sense and courtesy flew out the window. His hands began to nervously fidget with a stray fold of her skirt.
Daisy", his voice was gruff and muffled by the fact it was still buried in her lap, "Daisy I am so sorry". He slid his head to the side and no longer muffled whispered, "I have been blind, so very blind and more importantly I have been a terrible friend and husband." He looked up at her and brought his hand up to caress her cheek with the pad of his thumb. His bright golden eyes swam with emotion; infact his whole face seemed to be overwhelmed with an ocean of feeling all at once. Behind his eyes crashed waves of grief, hope, anger, and what Cordelia thought she might recognize as… as love.
"James", she whispered hesitantly, "I heard your conversation with Grace".
The mention of the other girl's name seemed to pull him out of his daze as his brain caught up with the action of his hands and he quickly pulled back. However, his eyes never receded from hers, and his face remained stripped of the mask.
"Then you know. You know I have not been myself for- for years now and how terribly sorry I am to have ever caused you heartache Daisy. If I could do it all again I would. I would court you properly and have a real proper proposal, no pretense and no pressure." He looked away at that, a flash of guilt glazing his eyes.
Cordelia was at a loss for words. Truly out of everything she could've imagined James needing to tell her she hadn't imagined this, had never let herself desire for such a confession. A complete denouncing of Grace in every way, and not only that but a complete reliance against her. But she could not keep her fears at bay as doubt crept in.
"James if you are lying this is a very cruel trick." She stole herself then, preparing for the worse. Preparing for him to take it all back and laugh, for Grace to come sautéing through the door downstairs and for them to take off romantically into the sunset. She even entertained for a moment she might be dreaming. That she must've passed out early in the day and everything, Lillith, Belial, and this moment now has been a twisted unending nightmare.
He looked hurt by her words but didn't seem to let it damper his passion.
"Daisy no, no of course not. I suppose I can see why this seems so fantastical but surely you heard. I have called the Silent Brothers here to take Grace and keep her from causing any more harm."
Cordelia blushed at this. She had heard and she still felt awful about her intrusion.
"James I am sorry for that, I do not know what possessed me to think it appropriate to eavesdrop on your private affairs." She looked away, brows furrowed. James gently raised his hand and guided her face to meet his eyes again.
"Don't be sorry for that. I'm actually relieved you were there. I'm happy to not have to explain it all again and- and it's comforting to know you were there even if I did not know it. It was a very difficult conversation for me." He kept his hand resting on her cheek and began to lightly caress her cheekbone.
"It's true then?" Cordelia asked hesitantly.
"Yes," James replied somberly, "I love you Cordelia, I suspect I have been in love with you for a very long time now." He dropped his hand from her cheek and took her hands in his. The sight of him nervous on his knees, hesitantly clasping her hands, reminded her so much of a marriage proposal. Perhaps now they could have the proper proposal and wedding James spoke of. Her grip tightened as her heart began to race anew. His hands were callused with years of training and fighting but so were hers. They both possessed the hands of warriors. They had slain dark princes and quite literally been to Hell and back. She would do it all again. She would go anywhere he required her, she would protect him and fight endlessly by his side if it meant she'd have a lifetime of the look he was giving her now.
"I love you too," her voice was uncharacteristically quiet, hesitant, but she couldn't help it. The atmosphere felt so delicate that her muttering too strong of a consonant might shatter it. "But James I can hardly wrap my mind around this. Why did the bracelet break? I'll admit it was difficult at times to hear you through the door and I didn't want to move any closer, it already felt like such an intrusion...", Cordelia glanced back down the stairs as she trailed off.
"You shattered it Daisy." James was incredibly assured in his declaration for someone saying something so nonsensical. Realizing his small overdramatization he elaborated, "do you remember when we- when I was kissing you Daisy?" James raised his eyes to meet hers. Though they were most obscured by his long dark eyelashes. Cordelia had always felt it unfair men seemed to have much prettier eyelashes than women but she wasn't complaining now. His high cheekbones were brushed with a light dusting of crimson that stood out brightly on his winter paled skin. Cordelia suspected that if her skin could flush like James she'd be completely scarlet right now.
"In that moment I felt so filled with desire for you it clouded all my senses and my better judgement, I do apologize for that. But it was because of that clouding, that overwhelmingly strong love I felt for you that the curse was broken." His voice was low as he continued, "I should not have been able to love you Daisy, but I did. It ate away at my mind. I can remember it now. I'd be desperately grasping at memories of what your embrace had felt like, what your lips had tasted of", his eye fluttered close, "I remember your voice pulled me away from shadows and nightmares and I remember visions of you and this house saved me when nothing else could." His eyelashes cast long shadows on his face in the soft dim light of the evening.
James looked contemplative as he went on, "It hurt sometimes. I'd find myself grabbing at memories and emotion that fell like sand through my fingertips and if I tried to dwell on them it'd ring like a skull shattering pang through my head." He opened his eyes then to once again gaze up at her.
His lips quirked at the ends like he was trying to quell a sly smile, "but I guess in the throws of passion even your fire was too much, and thoughts of love for you shattered the curse." He smiled and pulled back, rising on his knees to her eye level. He looked sympathetic.
"I know it's a lot and I'm so sorry for putting you through all this but I promise you I will spend every day from here on making up for the years we've lost and the pain I've caused." Cordelia couldn't take it anymore. James' gaze was so strong and her heart so weak for him.
She leaned in and kissed him. There were just too many emotions felt between them in this moment to be fully expressive through speech. James was quick to respond, he leaned languishly into the kiss before suddenly pulling back.
"What-" Cordelia began but James softly cut her off.
"Cordelia is this okay? This has all been very sudden and I don't want you to feel pressured or- or- upmh", she pulled him in by the nape of his neck and cut him off with another kiss. He smiled against her melting into the kiss.
He had been waiting for this all day but it had felt like years. They had been through hell and all he could think about was embracing his wife and taking pleasure in her comfort. So he did. He drew her down into his arms, slanting his mouth hungrily against hers.
He felt her breath catch against his lips as he pulled her to his chest. Angel, she was adorable and he loved her so much, loved the feel of her here in his arms, safe. James slid his hands down the small of Cordelia's back settling his rough palms on her hips. She felt absolutely divine under his touch, soft and smooth and so alive. Where Grace had always been slight, courteous, almost obligatory touches and sweet kisses Cordelia was all strong muscle and live fire. Everything about her from her fiery hair to her sparking dark brown eyes lit him like a bonfire to a match. The pool of James’ stomach grew warmer and he briefly entertained the thought that perhaps he had, somehow, lit his insides aflame.
He sat back on the landing pulling her with him and groaned as she wrapped his legs around his waist. He could feel where her dress rode up and pulled taught around her thighs. His head swam with thoughts of her. He could hear her breath, feel it, smell her all around him. He was drowning in scents of rich jasmine and rose water. Every one of his senses was absolutely devoted to Cordelia. For lack of better terms; James Herondale was lost in the sauce.
"Daisy. Daisy. Daisy." James whispered her name like a prayer between each kiss. He was a drowning man and her mouth was an oasis. Cordelia pulled back enough that her words were free from the muffled effect of his kiss.
"Omr-am", Cordelia muttered hotly against the brush of his lips.
James took in a sharp breath, he still didn't understand much Persian but picking out what words he did know left him breathless.
Thanking his years of strength and balance training as he hoisted Cordelia and him up and propped her body against the wall. With her legs still around him he held her up with his arms and hips. She was so intoxicatingly close like this. Her lips were divine, soft and velvety. But he thirsted for more.
James traced his swollen lips hotly against her cheeks. He started at the corner of her mouth and traced his way back to her ear. He nipped at it lightly earning a small jolt and gasp from Cordelia.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you like this", his hot breath came out in puffs against her ear as he spoke, sending tremors down her spine. He took the opportunity to dip his head lower and kiss a trail across her jaw. Cursing the high collar of her day dress and his busy hands he settled for digging his face deeper into her throat, lightly sucking at the skin over her racing pulse. Cordelia groaned and craned her neck backwards.
James knew if he didn't stop now he'd hold Cordelia here till his arms gave out. He pulled back and met her gaze. The look she was giving him was sinful. Cordelia's pupils were blown wide, her panting lips were swollen and reddened with kissing. Her hair was shaken free of her pins and it cascaded like a ring of fire around them. He tightened his grip on her thighs as he lowered her to her feet in front of him. Still sandwiched between him and the wall he leaned over her placing a forearm beside her head to prop himself up. He raised his other hand to gently brush away some renegade curls from her face.
"We should", James' voice was thick and graveling with desire so he cleared his throat, "We should get ready for bed, it's getting quite late and you've had a very long day."
Cordelia blink. She has nearly forgotten the rest of the day's excitement. The adrenaline rush of kissing James had clouded over her thoughts but now she could feel them steadily returning.
James noticing the change in her eyes hurried to add, "Please meet me in my room when you're done changing." He looked away, his desire flushed face sunk into a deeper red as he added, "I do not wish to be separated from you any longer."
He leaned back a little bit, giving her space to deny his offer. Cordelia appreciated his courtesy but being away from James was the last thing she wanted right now.
"Of course", she spoke, "I'll be right there, just give me ten minutes".
James was a little taken aback by her straight forward agreement but he supposed he shouldn't have expected anything less from his Daisy. And she was his Daisy, and he was hers. He intended to show his dedication thoroughly for the rest of their lives.
She smiled at him then, the corner of her eyes crinkled with affection as she reached up to cup his cheek.
"It's all going to be okay Eshgham." Cordelia tilted her head up and pressed a chaste kiss to the Corner of James' mouth before slipping away upstairs.
James ran his hand through his mused up curls and smiled. If a marriage to Daisy meant a lifetime of her smile he would bend Hell and Heaven to preserve it.