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It was time to go…
It was time to move on…
That was what Lumine told herself. She was reminded of her original mission: to find her brother. Teyvat was a strange place. It brought her misfortune. The world took her wings, her power, and her brother. However, it also brought her hope and happiness. She considered herself fortunate to find many new friends and allies. Mondstadt’s archon, Venti taught her to see that the journey itself has meaning, including every creature and person she met. The destination is not everything. Liyue’s archon, Zhongli taught her to adapt and be willing let some things go. This would let her grow and develop herself.
All valuable lessons that she had kept close to her heart. Her golden eyes watched the ocean’s waves slowly reached its way towards the harbour. The next goal was in sight: Inazuma. For the past few months, Lumine and Paimon were waiting for the perfect opportunity to get into the strange, new region. Lady luck seems to be on their side, as they found a certain bold and adventurous Captain of a famous ship. Beidou was more than willing to get them into Inazuma. She claimed that she and her crew would get through the roughest seas unscathed. The only condition was that they must help to gather supplies for the trip.
While the travelling duo were felt a little unsafe despite her claims, they had no other option. Lumine spent the time to see her friends in Mondstadt and Liyue one last time. Each of them presenting a farewell gift, acting sort of a good luck charm for the journey ahead. A few hugs, some tears but most importantly many smiles were exchanged.
All except one man. An Adeptus. Xiao.
Lumine made sure to say goodbyes to him last, for many reasons. Her mind was constantly debating on what to say to him and how she should say it. With Lantern Rite over, there were fewer opportunities to greet him. She missed him so much. Her happiness moments in Liyue were all tied to him. The first time he held her hand, the first time he said her name and the moment she realised somewhere deep within him, he cared for her. Lumine wanted to treasure all those memories forever.
But… The traveller soon reached to a predicament. She did not want to say farewell to him. Her heart could not bear the possibility of not meeting Xiao again.
Lump thump, lump thump
There goes her heart again. Beating faster. Beating achingly. This always happens whenever she thinks of him. Lumine sighed as she clutched the area of her dress near her heart. The days were passing by fast. There were still so many things she did not know about Xiao. Most of his past were from word of mouth, through ancient texts and stone tablets from old ruins. Lumine desperately want to know much more from his own words. The problem was Xiao insisted in being alone, where he could properly express his emotions and thoughts.
There was one more meeting she wanted to make with Xiao. However, something tells her now was not the right time. Her mind reminded her that she needed to complete more errands for Captain Beidou. A small note was made to visit him after all tasks were done.
…
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…
Xiao watched the land of Liyue through his piercing amber eyes. From the highest of mountains, he searched far and wide to look any trace of the lingering evil from the archon war. This was his usual routine throughout immortal his life. It was also his duty. Liyue remained calm and still as ever, unlike his current state of mind.
It was not the voices of the dead that plague him. It was not the voices of the suffering lives that troubled him. It was certainly not the piling number of prayers he heard from the locals. No, for today and the past few days, it was her voice.
Lumine’s voice was occupying a small part of his mind. The adepti thought such a small portion would be insignificant. However, he underestimated the power of emotions. Xiao briefly closed his eyes and peered into the darkness.
He remembered how fondly Lumine would call out his name. He remembered her smiles and her laugh. But it was the memory of her sorrow that stuck with him. Xiao did not know why he had this odd feeling of ‘want’. The want to comfort her in any way possible.
In the darkness, these memories were a small, tiny light. The first of many that he saw throughout the years. Xiao could not understand. Is this how ‘Love’ works? Why was it so confusing? Why did he not feel alone even though he is? There was no answer to be found.
Xiao gritted his teeth, growing ever annoyed. His mind was losing focus again… paying attention to such trivial things. Xiao wanted to stop this. It was distracting him from his duty, the oath that he swore and his contract. Then, a voice reached out him.
She will leave like them… like they always do.
No one will ever stay with you…
They never come back… they never will.
The voice belonged to his logic. Crossing out the emotions, Xiao believed it was true. He heard the rumour that the traveller will leave Liyue soon. Her goal was not here. It was there. They are too different from each other. Xiao had never waited for anyone, or anything. Logic reminded him that these emotions were just-
What lies you spout out…
Xiao opened his eyes slowly and then sighed in defeat. The piercing gaze was now softening into a disheartened stare. His focus was temporarily not on Liyue. It was on his feelings. He could not dare to say that there was not a single ounce of attachment to Lumine. A part of him had the ‘want’ again. The want to see her one last time. Peeking through the cracks of the doors to his heart, Xiao asked himself. “What should I say to her?”
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…
Lumine was standing at highest floor of the WangShu Inn with a plate of almond tofu in hand. This time, she made it herself. Despite the guidance from the expert Chef, Smiley Yanxiao, it was turned out a little disappointing. The appearance of the tofu was not so appealing. It lacked the shininess that Smiley Yanxiao usually was able to craft. The sauce looked more grey than normal. The chef reassured her that it was good for a first attempt. She could only hope the adeptus would still accept it.
The suspicious looking treat was getting warmer. Lumine frowned as she looked in all four directions for Xiao, but there was not a single sign of him. Her heart beat anxiously as she silently praying that he would appear in front of her. This night would be her last day in Liyue. Tomorrow, she would be departing on the captain’s boat to Inazuma. Please come out, Xiao. I do not want to leave without regrets. Her hands tightened their grip on the plate.
A few more minutes passed. Xiao still did not appear. The plate of almond tofu had gotten too warm to be eaten. It seems the adeptus was not in the mood in company. Lumine’s heart grew heavy. She almost wanted to give up. Almost. The traveller closed her eyes and squinted to focus her powers intensely. She felt the faint trace of Anemo energy. The presence was… behind her? Lumine opened her eyes and immediately investigated the direction of the original source. Standing there idly was Xiao, with an odd expression on his face. A subtle frown graced his facial features.
“Xiao… U-Um… Here is the almond tofu I made.” Lumine reached out and presented the food to him. “I am sorry for not noticing you sooner. The tofu has…” She was about to elaborate further but was suddenly interrupted by Xiao taking the plate from her hands. It was swiftly placed on the railing. His amber eyes were not on the food. It was solely on her still.
“I heard them talking about your departure. You are leaving tomorrow.” Xiao said softly, with a small strain in his voice. Lumine stared blankly. Words were hard to come out. It was an indeed true statement, but how could she continue the conversation. Her mind reminded herself that she had so many things to talk to him about, especially that.
“…I had already said my goodbyes to my friends, except you.” As soon as she was able to speak, Lumine wished she could phase that in another way. Or take them back. It would mean she had to say goodbye now.
“I don’t need you to report me that. It is meaningless to me.” His eyes shifted to look down at the wooden floor as he crossed his arms. Lumine giggled a little. That reply was just like him. Her hands playfully swing behind her back as she blends down to try to meet his gaze. “I don’t want to say want say goodbye to you though.” The confused adeptus slowly returned her gaze with a raised eyebrow.
Lumine spun around to face away from him. She skipped a few paces along the railing, moving towards to the opposite end. Her heart was beating faster as Lumine carefully picked out the next few words. Xiao was observing her all the way. His mind was growing unfocused. He was seeing every worthless detail: every step she took, how height she skipped, the distance between them and how her blond hair glows under the moonlight.
“I think we will meet again in some way.” Lumine turned back a little to give him a small smile. Xiao was caught staring. With a rough cough, he quickly looked away. His frown was showing ever more obviously. “I can’t wait for you.”
Lumine’s smile dropped a fraction. Her heart and mind knew the truth. His responsibility and duty to Liyue was always above her. An outsider could never compete with that. Despite this, she knew an answer to that.
“But I can wait for you.” Lumine stated. Her smile grew back stronger with her emotions. Those words stunned Xiao. Though his posture remains calm, his eyes were a fraction wider.
“I don’t think I…” Xiao gritted his teeth as he stopped himself from finishing the sentence. His own heart was beating out a question. He wanted to say more but he just could not.
Lumine saw his reaction. It was a visible difference from his usual indifference self. The doors to his emotions were cracking open bit by bit. They were showing her in. She needed to push more. To tell him her message.
“Liyue is changing, Xiao. You have seen yourself. It may not be today, or tomorrow and even next few years. But one day, the people of Liyue can protect themselves. They would no longer need to be protected by the adepti.” It was a bold claim. It made Xiao visibly flinch in his place. His fingers dug deeper into his arm. However, she had been experiencing the effect of this subtly changing landscape. She knows this claim will become true.
Lumine turned around to face and slowly closed the distance. She reached out and gently took his hands into hers. She was pleased to see Xiao did not move away. He was just curiously observing her. Lumine continued to elaborate, “Once you find yourself with no more responsibilities, your contract will be finished. You will be free. Am I right?”
For the first time, the wise and calculating Xiao was drawing a blank in his head. All he could think of was how warm her hand was, and how peaceful it felt. It felt just so right to be here. “Perhaps…” He was still unsure. His duty kept him from thinking far ahead, in fact he always thought there was no end. An endless war. To present such a possibility was… “It is a foolish speculation nevertheless.”
“Maybe I am a foolish girl.” Lumine replied with a giggle. “But by the time your responsibilities are done, mine will be complete as well. I am willing to wait to see if it’s true.”
Her giggle made his heart beat faster. The doors to his heart were cracking open just a little more. “Why...? Why do you go such lengths for someone like me?” His voice was fitted in with hints of desperation and pain. He was truly confused by her actions and words.
Lumine noticed how the question was framed. This was it. This was her moment. She could not turn back now. A deep breath to calm down her beating heart. Heat was rushing through her cheeks. She held his hand a little tighter.
“It is because I love you.”
The silence was deafening at first. Lumine was bracing herself. Preparing for the worse. She told herself she would no regrets. Even he did not feel the same, then it was fine.
“…”
But Lumine wants him to return her feelings. She hopes he did feel the same. Love.
Strangely, the next few words were oddly sweet and beautiful.
“Foolish girl…”
It was because it came with a small smile. A small smile of defeat. His question was answered. His doors were now wide open.
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…
The tasks were completed. The supplies had been gathered. Now, the gigantic boat was in sight. Lumine and Paimon was preparing to leave once and for all. She had been telling herself all day to not cry. She wanted to leave Liyue with a confident smile. It was for the future. Their future.
As she was climbing the steps up to the ship with Beidou’s crewmates, Lumine felt a gentle wind blew through her hair and the back of her clothes. A presence was behind her. The traveller turned around to see… Xiao. He stood there with an unreadable expression on his face. The usual calm indifference.
“Xiao?” Lumine was surprised to see him but was delighted as well. “You came to see me off? How sweet of you.”
Xiao walked towards her quickly, ignoring everyone’s curious stares. He came with a purpose. He remained silent until he cupped her cheeks gently with his palm. Lumine gasped, as well as blushed brightly, at the sudden closeness. The distance between them felt very intimate.
Xiao was staring at her with a tint of sadness. He pressed his palm against her cheeks in a little bit more.
“X-Xiao…?”
“I know I can’t wish for this moment to last forever…”
“H-Huh…?”
“So, for just this instant…” He pressed his forehead against hers affectionately, his eyes were half-closed. “Let me stay by your side, Lumine.”
Lumine promised herself that she would not cry. However, she just broke it just now. She truly did not want to leave at that moment. Tears were flowing from her eyes. “I… I…” Her voice was trailing away. It could not say out word, let alone a sentence.
The schedule was unfortunately delayed for a few minutes. Lumine was quick to apologize to Beidou, but it was swiftly accepted with a hearty laugh. She commented that she did not mind being delayed by young blossoming love as pure as theirs. Paimon was congratulating her throughout the ride for confessing her feelings and for them being returned. Some of the crewmen were just sighing in mild jealousy as they move onto their roles on the ship.
Xiao left her with a parting gift. In her hand was a butterfly made from the leaves and petals of the Qingxin flower. He stuttered out a statement that it was an adepti amulet that staves off evil. She held it against her beating heart. It felt warm and comforting, like he was there with her. As she observed the seas in front of her, she remembered a conversation with Xiao…
“Countless souls have fallen prey to these hands. I too have been swallowed by the darkness- and yet you drive me on. You think of me worthy of your ‘love’…and you seek to find me salvation? You are… difficult being to comprehend.”