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Life has been tough to her, she's always starting to doubt everything, that everything wouldn't go the way they planned it to be. Even her own marriage but he's always there for her through ups and downs that's why he vowed that he will marry her no matter what happened. She's always thinking all the what ifs, but he's always there for an assurance. Kaht gaano pa raw karami ang isipin niya, ibibigay at ibibigay niya yung mga dahilan para bigyan siya ng kasiguraduhan...
Kasi ganun niya ito kamahal.
V is wide awake at 8am in the morning. Busy staring at their window that hits by the sunlight. Hindi morning person si V but for some reason gising na siya ng maaga. It's been what? 1 year since their wedding but she's still here in this situation where she's having doubts. It's Saturday of May 8, 2021. This day is supposed to be a happy day because it's their first wedding anniversary kaso V feel nothing. Nakatalikod si V sa asawa niya, she didn't want her husband to see na nasa ganitong state na naman siya. She knows that she shouldn't think this way lalo na 1 year na sila pero masisisi niyo ba siya? Wala pa silang anak pero natatakot na siya na baka iwanan siya ng asawa niya. Or baka mag-away sila then hindi nila maayos at mauwi sa hiwalayan.
V knows that before she accepted her husband's proposal eh sigurado na dapat siya. Sigurado naman na siya. Sadyang natatakot lang siya because she didn't kung ano mangyayari sa kanya kapag naghiwalay sila ng asawa niya.
"Good morning, Ma..."
Jun slide his arms to V's waist, holding her closer. Jun rests his head on her wife's neck. Nuzzling in her neck and smelling her scent. Hinawakan ni V yung ulo ni Jun, caressing it softly.
"Good morning, Pa..." bati ni V sa asawa niya.
"Aga mo naman nagising, ma." Jun said in his bedroom voice. V loves to hear his morning voice, it's hoarse but its not irritating to hear, its very sweet and soft.
V sighed deeply. She shifts her position, turning around to look at his husband.
"Naalimpungatan lang tapos hindi na 'ko nakatulog ulit." She said while brushing her husband's bedroom hair. Jun just looked at her pero hindi nakatingin si V sa kanya, she's busy playing with his hair.
Jun looked at her features, her eyes, her nose, her lips. Napansin naman 'yon ni V kaya tinaasan niya ito ng kilay which made Jun chuckled.
"Why? I'm just admiring your beauty, ma." Jun cupped her cheeks and rub their nose together which made V smile and forget what was she thinking awhile ago. Her husband can make her calm, always.
"Baho mo, magtoothbrush kana." V joked kaya naman di maipinta yung mukha ni Jun. Tatayo na sana si V pero pinigilan siya ng asawa niya. Jun hold her wife's hands ang cage her in between his arms.
Hinalikan ni Jun yung mukha ni V. Kisses everywhere, in her eyes, nose, cheeks, lips. "Ano, ano ulit ng mabaho?" Pang-asar ni Jun. He stopped and looked at his wife na hinihingal kakasabi ng tama na. He fixes her hair na natatama sa mukha niya.
"I love you..." Jun said. It makes V's heart swell. She's so lucky that Jun is her husband. Nilagay ni V yung mga kamay niya sa leeg ni Jun pulling him closer.
"I love you more..." She said before sealing it with a passionate kiss. Jun smiled between their kisses that made V smile too. She's so in love with man.
Jun didn't greet V today because he is preparing something. Well, for V, she's okay with it because she's also not in the right state of mind.
Jun hugged her from behind. Nagluluto kasi ng breakfast si V and she's really quiet which made Jun worry. "Are you okay?" bulong ni Jun sa kanya sending shiver to her spine. V stopped what she's currently doing to hold her husband's head, tapping lightly. "I'm okay. Matatapos na 'to." She said.
Jun kissed her cheek before letting go. "May pupuntahan tayo mamaya ha." Napatingin naman sa kanya si V. Jun just smiled and winked at her. "Basta, ma."
They went out when it's already the time of the day where dusk occurs. It was V's favorite time of the day, of course, Jun knows it. He know every part of her wife that's why he decided to take her out at the time of this day.
V has been quiet throughout the whole day that makes Jun worry again, minsan tinitingnan niya si V to see if she's okay pero madalas nakatulala lang and her mind is somewhere while Jun is telling her stories.
He rubbed circles on her hand which made V come back into her sense. "Okay ka lang ba talaga? I'm getting worried, ma. If you're not okay we can go home naman." Umiling lang si V, she felt bad that she's acting this weird. She smiled, "I'm sorry, I'm okay. Saan ba tayo?" Jun held her hand tightly and siighed, "If you hav something in your mind just tell me ha. I don't want to see you like this." V nodded. Kailangan niya ata sampalin yung sarili niya. Lalo na nahahalata na siya ni Jun na ang lalim ng iniisip.
"Let's go."
They went to their favorite resto bar in BGC, the straight up, where the bar is located at the rooftop. Jun knows that V is really fond of sunsets and night skies. Kaya ever since they started dating dito na sila pumupunta.
Their early dinner went well, busy si Jun na titigan si V and V is busy taking pictures. "Nabusog ka ba?" Jun asked. Ngumiti naman si V at tumango. Jun reached for her hands, binigay naman ito ni V. Jun held it tightly and kissed her knuckles, "Happy 1st wedding anniversary, ma."
Hindi alam ni V what goes into her mind pero the moment she heard that she got teary eyed, kaya naman nawindang si Jun and he immediately go to V and hugged her.
"Why? Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?" Sunod-sunod na tanong ni Jun. Umiling si V, her husband wiped her tears and make her look at him, "What's wrong, ma?"
V saw how worried Jun is, hinawakan niya yung kamy ni Jun na nasa mukha niya. "I'm sorry. I know we promised each other na sabihin sa isa't-isa yung problema natin..." V started. Sasabihin na niya kay Jun. Ayaw niya na sobrang mag-alala yung asawa niya sa kanya.
"Pa, I know we've been married for 1 year na but I still can't help it, di ko maiwasan mag-isip ng mga bagay na baka maghiwalay tayo, baka mag-away tayo tapos mauwi sa hiwalayan. Baka napapabayaan na natin yung isa't-isa, I'm scared. I'm so scared."
"Alam ko na ayaw mo na nag-iisip ako ng ganon pero pa, hindi ko maiwasan. What if mapagod ka sa'kin? What if narealize mo na hindi ako yung asawa na pinangarap mo? I'm scared, Jun. Hindi ko alam mangyayari sa'kin kapag nawala ka."
V looked at him in the eyes. Jun smiled at her, he tucked her hair strand behind her ear na nagugulo dahil sa hangin.
"Listen to me, ma. Please, don't think like that. I won't leave you. Remember that, always remember that no matter what happened, whatever your attitude is, I'll stay with you until lifetime. I will stay with you, mahal ko."
Jun kissed V, a sign that he'll stay with V through ups and downs like what he vowed to her on their wedding. From this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death us do part.
Jun rests her head into her chest, hugging her tightly, making V feel his heartbeat that only and will only neat for her. "Please, sing for me, pa." V said.
Jun caress her hair to make her calm and he started singing V's favorite song.
🎶So just breathe
Breathe in, breathe deep, you know that's all you need
I can't describe your eyes, but they're as blue as the sea
Your heart, it beats, in perfect time with me🎶
"Baby you know that I won't mind, if we get no rest, 'til the sunrise..."
Hindi lang naman si V nakakaramdam ng takot. Siya rin naman. Natatakot din si Jun na baka things won't work out well, pero he's being strong. For them, for V. Ayaw niya na mawala si V. Nangako siya sa harap ng Diyos na aalagaan at mamahalin niya si V. Hanggang sa pagtanda, hanggang sa kamatayan.
"Your fingers are mine, as they intertwine..."
Jun make their hands interwine while singing those lines. V looked at their hands with their wedding rings, remembering the day they got married.
"You're telling me words unspoken, our fingers align as they intertwine you break my heart wide open..."
They both leaned on each other's forehead. Feeling each others breath. V closed her eyes as she felt Jun's lips against her forehead.
"Ikaw ang pag-ibig ko.." V said that made Jun chuckled.
"Ang cheesy pala ng tawagin natin, short cut ng mahal ko at pag-ibig ko." He said as he looked V.
"Ikaw nakaisip niyan, pa."
"Sabi ko nga."
They both laughed but V felt something in her stomach, she felt like vomiting. Parang lahat ng kinain niya gusto lumabas kaya she ran to the nearest comfort room at agad naman siyang sinundan ni Jun.
"Ma, are you okay?" Jun asked as he rub his wife's back. "May nakain ka bang hindi okay? Teks, diba dapat ako rin kasi parehas lang naman tayo ng kinain. O kaya baka naman—"
Jun stopped midway as he realize something. He looked at V, narealize naman ni V yung naisip ni Jun kaya sila natahimik pareho.
"Are you pregnant?"
5 months after their 1st wedding anniversary, V and Jun went to the hospital immediately.
Confirmed.
V was 4 weeks pregnant that's why she feels emotional at that time. Masaya sila, syempre. May dadating na anghel sa buhay nila. Now, its V's 5th month of pregnancy at laging naghahanap ng mga cravings niya.
"Ma, stop eating cheese. Baka maging dilaw na yung anak natin."
V has been really into cheese these past few months. Yun 'yong pinaglilihian niya kaya ang daming stock sa kanila na malapit na rin itago ni Jun kasi hindi na tinigilan ni V.
"Okay, that's enough, mahal. Nakakarami kana."
V pouted as Jun take her food away. Hinila ni Jun si V sa couch making her sit in his lap.
"Mamaya kana lang ulit kumain ng cheese, okay?" Jun said, tumango na lang si V kasi kapag naging stubborn pa siya mas lalong hindi siya pagbibigyan ni Jun. Jun hugged her waist at pinakiramdaman yung baby bump ni V.
"I love you, anak. Thank you for making mama at papa happy."
Naiyak naman si V because she feels so happy. Hindi na niya naiisip yung mga what ifs ang doubts. Nandyan na si Jun sa tabi niya, may anak pa sila na paparating. She couldn't ask for more. They couldn't ask for more.
She looked at Jun who's busy talking to her baby in her stomach.
God, thank You for this beautiful and kind human being. Thank You for giving him to me. Thank You, God.