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Dwight wasn’t sure where he and Jim stood. Well, he knew they were friends now. Their frienemy relationship was now a genuine friendship. But beyond that, Dwight was confused. They hung out a lot—anytime Dwight wasn’t busy with the farm—to the point that they were joined at the hip. They ate lunch together too with Pam often joining them. They texted and called each other whenever they weren’t together. It was nice.
They’d made out a few times after Dwight’s Christmas party which was nice but Dwight was pretty positive that Jim didn’t consider him his boyfriend. Dwight had no clue what they were and it was breaking his brain.
If they were always together and always going out together and always talking on the phone together and sometimes kissing then weren’t they dating?
They hadn’t discussed it much. And by much Dwight meant at all.
So it was confusing for Dwight who wanted to take their relationship further. Friends? That was swell and everything, but boyfriends? That sounded incredible.
Valentine’s Day was right around the corner and that seemed like as good of a time as any to move their relationship to the next level. If Jim wanted that. Dwight was acutely worried that maybe their relationship was at a standstill because Jim wanted it that way. But he wouldn’t kiss Dwight if he didn’t like him. Who played games like that? Surely, not adults. And they weren’t friends with benefits since the benefits never kicked in. So yes, Jim had to like him back. He just had to be too shy to act on it.
So yes, Valentine’s Day was perfect.
Dwight’s plans went awry a few days before Valentine’s Day. Let it be known, Dwight had impeccable memory. Photographic memory, even. He remembered things well. So he hadn’t really forgotten this was happening, it just happened to slip his mind.
It went like this:
Dwight stood in the kitchen, making himself (and Jim) coffee. It would have been a rather standard, mundane day if it weren’t for Angela accosting him.
“Are we still on for this weekend?” Angela asked. “There’s a nice vegan restaurant in Carbondale I’d like to try. I might be able to make reservations.”
“Excuse me?” Dwight said because his memory just needed a little jogging. “What are you talking about?”
Angela’s brows furrowed as if she couldn’t comprehend what he was talking about. “Valentine’s Day. We were supposed to get dinner. Remember?”
Dwight wouldn’t say it suddenly came rushing back to him because that would be admitting he forgot in the first place. But yes, Angela did jog his memory a bit. “Oh, right. Our standing obligation. Yes.”
Angela looked at him strangely. “So the vegan place is fine?”
“Erm, right?”
Angela gave him a curt nod before exiting the kitchen. Sighing heavily, Dwight brought his and Jim’s lukewarm coffees back to their desks.
“Are you okay,” Jim asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or Meredith naked. Again.”
No, Dwight wasn’t okay. This was a wrench in his plans. Finding out he had prior engagements for Valentine’s Day was the worst thing Dwight could learn today, even worse than a drought choking out his farm. No, this was much worse because he felt as if he were letting Jim down. But, as a Schrute, Dwight was a man of his word. Obligation was one of the tenets of the Schrute manifesto. A promise made was a promise kept and Schrutes always kept their promises. And he and Angela did have a long-standing appointment on Valentine’s Day. Usually, they were already messing around and dinner before sex was no big deal. Or, they weren’t messing around but were unattached and ended the night by messing around. They’d done it for the last five years. Hell, Dwight vividly remembered making this year’s arrangement—all the way back in October. Before he and Jim started dancing around each other.
So, by Schrute law, Dwight was expected to keep his date with Angela. He had to. He was a Schrute male and he wouldn’t let his ancestors down by being fickle. But he wanted to take Jim on a date. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach. He wouldn’t be less of a Schrute—less of a man at that—if he canceled on Angela.
He wouldn’t be.
Would he?
He certainly would be looked at as less than by his relatives if it got out that he wasn’t a man of his word. And he made a vow with Angela. And really, he hadn’t made plans with Jim yet. He just thought really freaking hard about making plans with Jim. But nothing came to fruition. And Jim hadn’t mentioned Valentine’s Day! Probably because they weren’t dating! Why would Jim want to spend Valentine’s Day with Dwight, his platonic friend he kissed on occasion? Dwight didn’t go around kissing his friends but maybe that was how Jim showed affection. He hugged Pam a lot, maybe because she was short, and bending over to kiss her would hurt his back. It would also explain why Jim didn’t have a lot of friends because making out with your friends, tongues and all, was really weird.
So it would be okay if they didn’t go out on Valentine’s Day. Because it was wishful thinking on his part to assume Jim wanted him as much as he wanted Jim. And if he didn’t mention it Jim wouldn’t remember it. So Dwight wouldn’t be less of a man or an embarrassment to his family for not valuing obligations. It’d be okay.
It definitely wasn’t okay.
The next day, Jim cornered Dwight in the kitchen much like Angela had the day before. Except he could actually corner instead of standing around like a useless traffic cone because he wasn’t half Dwight’s size. Maybe if he’d just steamrolled past Angela he wouldn’t be in this situation.
“Hey, Jim,” Dwight said slowly. “What can I do for you today?”
“Oh, I hope you weren’t making coffee or anything. I brought you one.”
Jim pointed out of the kitchen doors and to Dwight’s desk where one of those pink, sugary Starbucks confectionary monstrosities resided. It wasn’t real coffee and barely much better than the mud-water they drank at work but Dwight was appreciative.
“Thanks…”
“I got you the same drink as me,” Jim continued, breezing past Dwight’s discomfort. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted because you wouldn’t answer my messages. Or calls. But that’s fine.”
“I was a bit busy. I’m sorry for not getting back to you. I’ve had a lot on my mind this morning.”
“Oh, okay,” Jim said, looking relieved. “You were kind of avoiding me yesterday too so I wanted to make sure I hadn’t done anything wrong.”
Dwight gave Jim a smile he was sure looked more terse and shifty than relaxed and casual. “No, not at all. Well, I have an urgent call I need to make so I’ll talk to you later? Or maybe next week, I’m just so busy.”
Jim grabbed his hand before he could leave. “Actually Dwight, what are you doing this weekend? Valentine’s Day is coming up and I wanted to know if you were free?”
That sense of dread crept back into Dwight’s stomach, although for a different reason. Schrutes didn’t lie. Or, they tried not to. But as a tenet “do not lie” ranked far below the others ones and especially below obligation, and he could play it fast and loose if it conflicted with his duty and performance of the alpha tenets. But Jim deserved better than him lying.
“Yeah, I’m actually busy that day,” Dwight said, watching Jim deflate. God, now he felt like shit.
“Oh. What are you doing?”
“I have plans with Angela. You know, she asked me so I’m going.”
“Angela,” Jim said, stressing every syllable in her name. “You have a date with Angela.”
“A prior engagement, yes.”
“Which is a date.”
Oh. “If you want to put it that way then I suppose so.”
Jim gave him a big, blinding smile that lacked its usual charm and looked more demented than anything else. “Oh! You have fun. I won’t hold you up any longer.”
Jim stepped past him and went back into the office. He grabbed the drink off of Dwight’s desk and tossed it into a nearby trash can.
Great. Dwight ruined that, big time.
Dwight tried apologizing over the course of the week. Jim ignored him every time leaving Dwight to wonder just how big of an error he had made.
It was Valentine’s Day evening and Dwight was dejected. Jim ignored all his calls and texts. Dwight got it, Jim wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with him, possibly as much as Dwight wanted to spend it with him. He fucked up and might have ruined a good thing. Now, he could expect his and Jim’s relationship to disintegrate back to how it was before Christmas. And he’d been so close. So close to having a meaningful relationship with the man he liked and he let it slip away and float off into the night. All because of tradition. If he couldn’t be happy then what was the point?
Dwight met Angela at the vegan restaurant. The food looked as unappealing as any flagrant bastardization of actual, decent, carnivore meals would look. He felt spiteful toward Angela who hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t as if she knew he was flirting with Jim. The only person he had to blame was himself and his misplaced sense of duty. Dwight sighed miserably into his risotto. He couldn’t help the fact that every sigh punctuated Angela’s one-sided conversation nor could he help the fact that he came off as unchivalrous.
“Is there something wrong?” Angela asked irritably.
“Nothing at all. Please, continue with your story.”
Angela went back to talking about church, or her cats, or perhaps how much she hated Phyllis but Dwight’s thoughts drifted elsewhere. What was Jim doing? Maybe he had a brolentine with some of his friends. But Jim was a loner and didn’t have many friends. All the ones he had probably had partners and therefore weren’t free. Maybe Jim stayed home. Maybe he was sad and lonely because he figured he and Dwight would spend the day together only for Dwight to prove he was a sad sack of shit. Maybe he was crying and the thought of making Jim upset hurt Dwight. God, he was a sad sack of shit, and not even the useful kind that could be used to fertilize soil.
Maybe Jim was out with someone else right now, doing things to forget Dwight. Or maybe he was ambivalent. Maybe Jim just didn’t care. Dwight spurned him and he didn’t care.
Dwight didn’t know what was worse.
Angela jabbed him in the cheek with one of her fingers.
“You should know better to surprise attack me,” Dwight said, taken off guard. “If it were anyone but you my reflexes would have paid you back tenfold.”
“I’ve called your name tenfold, Dwight! What are you concentrating so hard on that you didn’t hear me?”
Oops. “My mistake. I’m tired from tending to the farm today. I’ll be more attentive.”
Angela was unimpressed. “You’re lying.”
“False. Schrutes don’t lie.”
“And that’s a lie in and of itself. What’s up with you?”
“I was surprised by your invitation last week,” Dwight admitted. “I know this is something we do annually but I forgot.”
“...so you don’t want to be here,” Angela stated.
“That’s not what I said.”
Angela didn’t buy it. “If you don’t want to be here then why are you here?”
“I’m a man of my word,” Dwight said. “And a man of honor and duty. I have an obligation to you to take you out on a nice Valentine’s Day dinner. I will fulfill my duty and I will fulfill it well.”
“Seriously, Dwight,” Angela grouched. “If you didn’t want to come then you should have stayed home. I reminded you that we made plans a while ago. I didn’t force you to keep them.”
“It would be cruel of me to turn you away at the last second. Schrutes keep their word, even if it isn’t something we don’t want to do.”
“Do you think it makes me feel good forcing you to do something you don’t want to do? It's cruel of you to make me sit across from someone who doesn’t value my company. I’d rather be at home alone than feel unwanted next to someone.”
Dwight sagged. “You’re right. My Schrute pride has gotten the best of me once more. My apologies, Angela. It seems you’re not the only one I’ve hurt with my ignorance. How could I make it up to you?”
“Pay the bill.”
It was a hefty bill, especially for someone as slim and petite as Angela. He paid it nonetheless.
“What’s this about hurting others,” Angela asked in the parking lot.
“I’m afraid I might have shunned someone who wanted to spend the night with me,” Dwight confessed. “I’m not sure how to make it right.”
Angela wrinkled her nose as if she smelled something bad. “You mean Jim, right?”
Dwight nodded pitifully.
“That explains why the two of you have been flirting like two whorish schoolgirls,” she muttered. “What did you do?”
“He asked if I had plans for Valentine’s Day. I told him I had plans with you.”
“Wow! So you threw me under the bus, huh?”
Affronted, Dwight said, “It’s true! I did have plans with you!”
“Plans you should have canceled if you have a boyfriend!”
“He’s-he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Would someone who wasn’t or didn’t want to be your boyfriend ask you out for Valentine’s Day?”
Dwight gestured at the empty space between causing Angela to roll her eyes.
“You know what I mean, Dwight. You know your relationship with Jim well enough to know whether or not you should have spent the evening with him. Now look at you: you’ve pissed me off and you’ve pissed Jim off. You’ve finished the night without a partner and came very close to losing a friend. Which might still happen.”
Dwight let out an un-Schrute like whine. “What can I do to rectify this?”
“The night is still young. Maybe if you grovel Jim will take you back?”
“You don’t think I’ve ruined things permanently?”
Angela shrugged. “You know Jim better than I do. What do you think?”
It was only eight pm. Dwight still had time to make this right.
“Well, Angela. Thank you for the advice. I think I will try to patch things up with Jim. Before I find my things in Jello again.”
Dwight bid Angela farewell and began laying out his plan.
By the time Dwight arrived at Jim’s apartment, it was close to eleven. Still, he hoped Jim would be awake, even if it were to fume over Dwight’s slight. At least, that way he was still thinking about Dwight. Dwight would consider it a defeat if Jim went to bed pissed at him.
He had to keep ringing the doorbell before Jim finally answered. When he recognized Dwight standing in the darkness Jim frowned.
“What are you doing here?” Jim asked.
“Can I come in?”
Despite his angry demeanor, Jim stepped out of the way to allow Dwight in. “Sorry,” Jim said snarkily. “I thought you were booked up today. What do I owe the pleasure of a home visit from Dwight Schrute?”
Dwight could see the open wine bottle on the kitchen counter. He could smell it on Jim’s breath. He was tipsy, if not outright drunk. He pulled Jim into the living room and sat him down on the couch. “Jim, look,” Dwight started. “I made a mistake. I treated you shittily. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?” Jim snorted and turned away from Dwight, looking like a big, petulant child. Dwight pulled Jim close to his chest, putting his chin on Jim’s shoulder as he went. “Do you want me to beg? I’ll beg if I have to.”
Jim turned his head slightly. “Don’t bother begging. Just tell me what you’re apologizing for.”
“Do you want the brief, truncated answer, or the long one that involves apologizing for gears put in motion long before I met you?”
“We have all night,” Jim whispered.
Dwight held onto Jim’s waist even tighter. “You know how my family is. We’ve strict traditions and ethics we oblige by, passed down from generation to generation for hundreds of years. I was taught to abide by those customs and rules no matter what, even if there was a conflict of interest.”
“Is this where you tell me you’re afraid of being with another man, Dwight? That your family is homophobic?”
“No, that’s not really it. It factors a bit into everything, no doubt, but for the Schrutes family and obligation mean everything. I’ve never really thought to question my obligations. I’m to farm for beets and tend to cattle. Become the patriarchy. Marry, and while no one would dare to challenge my intention in taking on a husband over a wife, having strong, Schrute babies to pass on the genes to is also important. Even smaller obligations are important. If I tell cousin Bertha I will tilt her land on the third Sunday of the month I’m obligated to do so, even if it snows.
“I won’t pretend that I’m a timid man since that would be sullying the Schrute name. I’ve said no to plenty of people. I very easily don’t make plans I have no intention of keeping. But it’s drilled into my head that once you’re obligated to do something, you must follow through with it. The last few years I’ve spent Valentine’s Day with Angela, regardless of whether we were dating or not. We lined up plans for Valentine’s Day back on Sweetest Day, during a time I was still too nervous to approach you. Given that Angela hadn’t canceled the plans nor had she met someone I was still obligated to go, even when I didn’t want to. And I made plans with her before you asked me.”
“That was a bit more anticlimactic than I figured it would be,” Jim said. “So you’re telling me you’ve never double-booked plans and had to later decide what was more important later?”
“I have,” Dwight said pensively. “But I always went with the more important obligation.”
“So I’m not important to you?” Jim asked, upset. “If I’m not important to you then why are you here? Why are we even doing this?”
“The difference is I didn’t accidentally make plans with you that I needed to change. I had something already going on and I erroneously chose to commit to that instead of spending time with you.”
“You suck,” Jim said. “I can’t believe you. I made reservations for us at a nice restaurant and got us expensive wine because I thought you’d want to spend Valentine’s Day with me. I thought...well, it doesn’t matter what I thought, apparently.”
“I’m really sorry, Jim. It’s something I’m unlearning. Before we started dating, I didn’t consider how my family and my upbringing negatively impacted my relationships. I’m trying though. I was miserable today and all I could think about was how I wished I was with you instead. About how I hurt you. I’d rather be a little less of a Schrute if it meant not hurting you.”
Jim was quiet for a long while, and Dwight thought he failed at getting through to him. Eventually, Jim asked, “You think we’re dating?”
Dwight’s heartbeat sped up. “Are we not? I hope I’m not reading the situation wrong. If this was supposed to be a friendly date then I’m still sorry. My and Angela’s date was only friendly too.”
“No. I thought we were dating too,” Jim admitted. Dwight watched as his neck turned red, either out of embarrassment or from being drunk. Perhaps a bit of both. “Actually, I figured you were my boyfriend. That’s why I was upset you’d rather skip out on our first Valentine’s Day for Angela. It hurt.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” Dwight said, feeling a bit less sorry than he had before. He was glad he and Jim were on the same page with their relationship status. “We should have discussed this more. I thought I made my intention to date you clear on Christmas. But we’ve never labeled anything.”
“That’s partially my fault too,” Jim said. “I knew I considered you my boyfriend but I figured you might have had some hangups. I decided to leave it in your hands to label us when you were ready. But I also know you’re an idiot so I should have asked. My bad.”
Dwight smiled. “You’re an idiot too.”
Jim finally turned around. “Yeah, I am. We both are. I guess that’s why we have each other?”
“Yes, that’s true. Since I botched your plans for the day why don’t I take you out on a date tomorrow?” Dwight asked. “We’ll go to the restaurant you wanted to go to. It’ll be our first date officially as boyfriends? How does that sound?”
Jim smiled back at Dwight. “That sounds really good.”
They kissed.
Dwight got up to leave after breaking it. He suddenly remembered the hastily made gift he crafted before coming over. “Wait, I got you something. It’s not as festive as chocolates but it is dear to my heart.”
Dwight gave Jim the box and waited for him to open it. “Is this like the slippers where you’d like me to open it when you’ve left or…?”
“It’s best if you do it now. The preservatives won’t last long.”
Jim opened the box and pulled out a candied beet carved into an anatomically correct heart. The bright red coloring smeared all over Jim’s hands and the inside of the box. Jim looked torn between being impressed and disgusted. “Oh, wow… Thank you, Dwight.”
“It’s my heart,” Dwight said helpfully. “A replica of my heart. And now it’s in your hands. And if you eat it before it expires it’ll be a good source of potassium and other nutrients.”
Jim snorted. “I guess I’ll eat your heart later. I drank all the wine so now I have nothing to give you.”
“You listening to me and giving me another chance was enough of a gift.” Dwight hugged Jim and walked himself to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, boyfriend ? Make sure you don’t fall over yourself trying to get into bed, wino.”
Jim gave him a cheesy grin. “Oh, I definitely will. Maybe you should help me to bed?”
Dwight returned the smile. He ended up staying the night that night.
Not a bad end to a horrible Valentine’s Day.