Work Text:
Hanging out with Jenna has never made me so miserable.
She keeps talking to me, more animated than I’d seen her since she left, and I’m trying so, so hard just to maintain the strength to smile at her.
Because I know she’s going to hate what I’m about to tell her. I look down at the letter on the table, the writing upside-down to me, facing her so that she can read it...which is why she’s so excited.
It’s my acceptance letter to Pueblo.
We’re both in the diner, corner booth like always, and waiting on Leo to show up. I invited Jenna down here the day I got the letter, to show it to her...and to talk to her about what comes next. She, however, insisted I not actually tell Leo why I asked him to come.
“Chase? Hey, Chase!”
I manage to snap out of it and look at her, trying once again to force out a convincing smile.
“Sorry, spaced out a little. What were you saying?” She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling so I can tell she’s not really annoyed about it, and holds up her phone.
“I thought of a joke to play on Leo when he gets here. You know, a prank for old time’s sake. I’ll hide while it plays out, then at the end jump out and tell him it’s all a joke, simple. Can I borrow your phone really quick?”
“Oh, uh…” I look back down at the letter...and then to her again. “Actually, I needed to tell you something…” I think she can finally tell that I’m feeling like shit, because her smile disappears, her eyes searching mine, her tone much more serious, more concerned, when she speaks again.
“What happened?” It just hurts even more now. She’s worried about me. I take a deep breath, open my mouth to speak...and I exhale, my heart pounding as I try to articulate what I need to say.
“I...nothing, really, but I...I just…”
“Chase.” She reaches across the table, her smaller paw resting on mine. “Just calm down and say it, okay? Be blunt, if you need to. Don’t mince words with me.”
“I’m not going.”
It takes a moment for the words, and then their meaning, to process. Her paw slowly retracts from mine, and she places it on her lap as she stares at me, a somewhat unnerving look on her face. Like she’s trying really hard not to look as upset as she is, and failing.
“...oh,” is all she finally manages to say, and she looks at the letter, which had been the source of all of her excitement moments ago.
“I wanted to tell you face to face…” I tell her weakly, my mind racing desperately for a way to make this less horrible. “This isn’t something to just text or say over the phone.”
“Why aren’t you going?” She asks, her tone entirely neutral...almost robotic. Her eyes, while as beautiful as ever, are suddenly piercing into me, like if I tell her the wrong thing she’ll rip me a new one.
“I am going...eventually.” I look away for a moment, and when I look back, I can’t quite meet her gaze. “We, uh...Leo and I are moving in together. His family’s going to Payton to be closer to his dad’s auto repair shop, and he promised me a good paying job there with Leo, and when we’ve saved up enough money, I’ll go, but…” I force myself to look at her. Her expression is still stoic, and somehow that’s worse than if she were visibly pissed. I swallow and force myself to continue. “I...I can’t right now.”
We sit there for a minute, neither of us speaking, the only sounds being the noises in the kitchen and the other patrons of the diner eating and having their own conversations. Finally, Jenna grabs her purse, looping it over her shoulder, and slides out of the booth.
“I should go.” I stare at her, stunned.
“Wait, what? Why?”
“Have a test coming up. I took time out of studying for it to come down to see you, try to talk you into coming to Pueblo, but things pretty clearly haven’t changed.” I stand up as she begins to walk past me, frantically trying to block her path.
No, we can’t end her visit now. Not this soon. Not on such a shitty note.
“What do you mean?” I ask, looking at her. She crosses her arms, and finally, I’m seeing glimpses of the fury she’s trying to hold in.
“If I have to explain it to you, it’s not worth wasting any more of my time on.” She quickly moves around me, the grip on her purse tight. I turn as she passes me.
“Jenna, please, I just…” I can’t think of anything else to say. She stops to listen, but when I don’t follow up on the sentence she just sighs and shakes her head.
“Goodbye, Chase.”
Her car is long gone by the time Leo arrives, and as he walks in, all I can do is force a smile and tell him the good news.
I’m definitely not going to Pueblo.