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Not far from crashing waves, Zuko leans back to look up at the moon, his hair a long thick braid over his shoulder, messy with humidity. On his lips, a soft smile curves like the melody of an unfamiliar song.
“What are you smiling about?” Katara asks, as she sits sinking next to him on the white sand, a teasing lilt to her question. For all the cajoling (and mild kidnapping) it took to get the young Fire Lord to Ember Island, Katara’s never seen him so light. She imagines the bottle of strong, sweet liquor at his side helped. He, Sokka, and Toph shared it over the campfire. Aang had declined for them both. They had to be up early tomorrow. He looked meaningfully at her when he left for bed. She just stared at the campfire.
Down the shore, Sokka chases a crab, screaming about its pivotal role in a drinking game. Toph quietly uses sandbending to give the critter an edge. Suki, though sober, fails to stifle her giggles. The gibbous moon shines on Katara’s loved ones. Tiny red flowers doting the island turn the salt air thick with the scent of caraway.
“I’m happy,” Zuko says turning to her, his smile like the sunrise. Behind him, palm trees around a red and gold beach house sway in the breeze.
Katara opens her mouth to echo his joy, but the words catch in her throat. Zuko quirks his eyebrow.
“What? Too shocking?”
“No. I’m glad you’re happy.” She means it too, but says it far too quickly. “I am,” she tries again, slowly this time. Still, it sounds forced. “Sorry,” she says. It’s the only word that sounds sincere. Guilt blooms hot in her stomach.
“Is everything… okay?” Zuko tilts forward. Katara wishes he was wearing a shirt. She doesn’t know where to look.
“I’m just tired.”
“Come on, bring on the feelings.” Zuko cracks his knuckles and leans back “I haven’t spent the past four years seeing the fire sages for nothing. And I just got back from a weeklong intensive. I am ready to go.”
“What do feelings have to do with the fire sages?”
“What? I haven’t told you about this?” Zuko looks comically (adorably) bewildered. It reminds Katara that he’s a little drunk…and that she hasn’t been around much. The Avatar and his waterbending teacher keep a busy schedule. They’ve been ironing out peace treaties, settling up schools, restoring the air temples, looking for airbenders, and helping everyone they can.
“I’ve been seeing the Fire Sages since my coronation to ‘further develop inner knowledge and compassion.’ They're essential Fire Lord traits.”
“Wait. Did your father …”
Zuko’s dry look cuts her off.
“Right,” Katara says, slightly embarrassed. “Well, how do you do all that?”
“You figure out what you feel, why you feel it, where you feel it, what you can do about it, and what you can’t. It was actually pretty common before Sozin. My uncle went there a little bit after…” Sadness flickers in his eyes. He shakes it away. “Anyway, you mediate a bunch, learn to be nice to yourself, and talk about your childhood.” He shoots her a mischievous grin. “Did you know mine was rough?
Katara isn’t sure if she should laugh, but Zuko does. Laughs so hard he falls back on the sand. He runs his hands through his hair. God, Katara thinks, he has great hair.
“I didn’t. I thought it was normal.” The joy on his face fades.
Katara is about to reach for his hand when Zuko sits up. He grabs the bottle to his left, but doesn’t take a drink. Instead, he looks to the ocean. Katara follows his gaze. She sees Toph pushing Sokka into the ocean, cackling.
“I talked Toph into seeing them.”
“Really?”
“Yep. Helped her sort out a lot of stuff. Love that kid.”
“Zuko, I am really happy that you’re happy,” Katara says. And this time, thank goodness, it sounds and feels real. Zuko puts an arm around Katara. She leans into his warmth, smelling seawater, ash, and smoky-sweet liquor.
“Me too.” She can’t remember the last time, or if they’ve ever, sat like this.
“So…” The sand moves as Zuko shifts. “Are… you happy?”
“What?” Katara pulls away, immediately missing his warmth.
Zuko raises his hands in the air defensively.
“I was just asking.”
“Why?”
“Well…”
“Spit it out, Firelord.” She doesn’t intend the venom she gives his title. Zuko stiffens and glares. Katara’s cheeks burn. She hates that a (not so tiny) part of her loves that she can still rile him up. But instead of matching her, he stands up, takes three deep breathes, and brushes the sand off his red shorts.
“I know you’re very tired so I’m going to forgive that.”
Screams erupt from the shore. Katara guesses, judging by the laugher of Suki and Toph, Sokka caught the crab. This would be an easy way to back out, laugh, and apologize.
“You shouldn’t have asked,” she mutters through clenched teeth.
“What?” asks Zuko. The shrieks by the shore have grown louder, overtaking Katara’s voice. The waterbending master springs to her feet, almost colliding with Zuko’s face.
“I said you shouldn’t have asked!” she screams.
“I’m not going to apologize for worrying about you!” He explodes with the heat of the banished Fire Prince: flushed cheeks, molten eyes, messy hair, and a heaving chest. Katara’s mind wanders to places she swore (so many times) they wouldn’t. Zuko drops her gaze; she panics. The Fire Sages didn’t teach him to read minds, did they? She pulls at her hands and says nothing.
In their silence, Katara can hear her brother’s frantic chatter, Suki’s bell like laugher, and then, a loud belch from Toph. More laughter. Zuko should be with them. Tears burn at the back of Katara’s eyes. But Katara refuses to cry. Instead, she sits. The sounds of the joyful shore begin to die down.
“Sorry,” Zuko says as he sits down next to her. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”
“No.” Katara hates that he’s apologizing. He didn’t do anything wrong. “I’m sorry.”
They sit there for a moment, listening to distant sounds of their friends. What can she say? That she always wanted to save people? But for the last four years the world and her friends didn’t need saving. And it hurt. And she didn’t know why?
“Do you want to talk about it?” Zuko asks.
It’s quiet. Sokka and Toph are probably having another underwater breath competition. She hasn’t seen them in so long it aches. Because she’s been busy being helpful. And needed. And important. And…scared to death her friends might see her cry.
“Katara?”
Katara shakes her head.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to be sad. It’s vacation.” The honestly of her statement surprises Katara.
“…you sure?” Zuko wipes some sand off his face. There’s still a little on his lips. “I’m real good at being sad on vacation.”
Katara laughs at this, turning to look at the Firelord who echoes her grin.
“Seriously, I don’t mind. But if you want to forget about it…”
Katara can see Sokka, Suki, and Toph walking over to them. The idea of talking feelings makes her queasy. She’s spent too long trying shake the whole “tearbender” thing. Besides. Kids crying during a war is a lot different than adults crying because they don’t know why they aren’t happy.
“I’d really like to forget about it.”
“Gotcha.” In an easy motion, Zuko grabs the bottle next to him. “Step number one, drink the liquor your boyfriend wouldn’t let you have.”
“Aang doesn’t ‘let me’ do things. I do things!”
“Really?” asks Zuko, eyes twinkling while he holds the bottle aloft. “Because if my boyfriend said ‘we’re fine, we have to get up early’ I would think -”
“Well, how many boyfriends do you have, Zuko?” Katara asks bitterly, knowing he’s right.
“As many as I want!” Zuko says flailing his arm. If he was wearing a robe, it would have been impressive.
“You tell her, Zuko!” yells Toph as she plops next to him on the sand.
“Yeah, all the boys think he’s…hot stuff!” Sokka cackles as he falls into his girlfriend’s side.
“Good one, babe,” Suki says ruffling his hair.
“I am hot stuff,” Zuko mutters. He starts to bring the bottle to his lips.
“Do you think, maybe you’ve had enough?” Katara pokes him.
“I am the Firelord and I say when I’ve had enough!” He takes a swig, to the cheers of Sokka and Toph. Zuko offers her the bottle once more. Katara shakes her head.
“Booooooo!” cries her brother.
“Don’t boo me, Sokka!”
“Don’t be such a goodie-goodie, Sugar Queen!”
“Come on, Katara!” Suki joins in.
“Suki,” says Katara. “You don’t even drink.”
“…I will if you will.”
“Katara!” Sokka screams. “You have to! If you don’t, I’ll die!”
Zuko hasn’t pulled the bottle away. And Katara realizes she’s never done this. Stayed up late when she shouldn’t, drank liquor when she shouldn’t, and eying up boys she realllly shouldn’t.
Katara grabs the bottle from Zuko amid cheers and Sokka's triumphant yell. There’s a lightness in her bones. The liquor tastes like she imagines Zuko does: sugar and smoke, burning on the way down. She coughs, then feels the world soften. This is…nice.
Suddenly, there’s a whoosh of air as Aang lands on the sand, half-dressed and exhausted.
“Twinkle-Toes! You made it!”
“Where’s the trouble?” asks the Avatar, his voice still groggy with sleep.
“What trouble?” Sokka asks. Katara realizes he’s been holding a crab the whole time. How did she miss that? It makes her giggle.
“I heard screaming…”
“You’re off your game.” Toph socks the Avatar in the arm. “You can’t tell drunk screams from death screams.”
“Sorry,” says Aang sheepishly. “I’m tired.”
“It’s okay, Aang.” Suki pats him on the head. Aang’s eyes flicker to the bottle Katara’s holding and she quickly passes it to Suki.
“I’m a woman of my word.” Suki throws her head back as the bright red liquor pours down her throat. Suki coughs as Toph lets out a signature cackle. Sokka punches the air. Aang looks concerned.
“How…” Suki manages to get out between coughs. “…do you all drink this?”
Sokka gives his girlfriend a wet hug.
“I’m so proud of you!”
“Come on Twinkle-Toes, have a drink. Even Katara had some.”
“Really?” Aang looks one part disappointed, one part intrigued. “But…we have to get up early tomorrow.”
“Can’t we reschedule?” Katara finds herself asking. “I’m sure King Boomy wouldn’t mind.”
“I…” Aang looks at the faces of all his closest friends in varying degrees of inebriation. “I’ll have a little.”
Another round of cheers as the Avatar takes his first drink of liquor, coughing almost as much as Suki. Sokka throws an arm around Aang.
“Now we all qualify for Shove, Shove, Splash, Splash, Crab, Crab!”
“We didn’t before?” Katara asks, taking another drink, proud she didn’t cough as much as Suki and Aang. The warm liquor fills her with a lightness; she decides she likes being drunk.
“No! Because you were sober! We’ve fixed that! Let the games…begin.” Almost somberly, Sokka raises the crab aloft. “TEAM CRAB, CRAB!” He seizes Suki’s hand and runs toward the water.
“Team Shove, Shove!” cries Toph who grabs Zuko and the liquor bottle before chasing after the retreating couple. It warms Katara’s heart to see the unrestrained affection on Zuko’s face . The four run into the water, Toph shoves Zuko into the waves. He stands up, sputtering.
“But I’m on your team!”
“Betrayal!” cries Toph who grabs Suki. “We are now team Shove, Shove! Drink.” Zuko sighs and drinks from the bottle.
“How could you? My own love!” moans Sokka.
“Wait, am I team Crab Crab, now?”
Katara doesn’t look at her boyfriend until he nudges her shoulder.
“Team Splash, Splash?” he offers. Katara nods. The two bring their arms up, and down, moving like an old song.
“Zuko!” screams Sokka. “Save the liquor!” The water from the ocean draws towards Aang and Katara before crashing down on their friends.
“…I did not save the liquor.”
Sokka pokes his head out of the water.
“New rules! No bending!”
“Wait…there are rules?”
“Never!” Toph sends a mountain of sand towards the boys.
“Save the crab!”
Aang and Katara run into the surf. Katara lets herself fall against Zuko, who shoves her into the water. As the salt fills her lungs, she looks up against the moon. For the first time in a long time, she feels alive.