Chapter Text
You sighed as you took apart another piece of the hyperdrive, tossing it onto the rolling table- the impact resounding with a metallic thud, “gonna have to replace that.” You murmur to yourself, refocusing your attention on the malfunctioning hyperdrive that had been a part of some ship that Ran had ‘acquired’.
A loud call of your name roused your attention to the entrance of the garage where Ran was waddling up the ramp toward you, “got a job for the lot of you.”
“I’m retired, old man. You know that.” You answered bluntly, looking back to the hyperdrive and working a few of the damaged connections out of their slots carefully and deposited them on the table with the rest of the parts and scanned for more pieces that needed replacement or repair, depending on their condition.
“You’ll wanna take this one, kid.” You huffed in annoyance but straightened from the dismantled hyperdrive you were working on to hear him out.
The goal was simple.
Infiltrate the space Bothan-Five inhabited without getting caught by the sensors with five of his best and a sixth nameless party, somehow sneak into the ship, maneuver around the countless security cameras that could give you away to the human bridge operator, avoid the patrol droids on every level, manage to spring Qin while doing all that and make it back to Roost with time to spare.
Easy, right?
“He’s sloppy, Ran.” You looked at your boss as you snatched an old scrap of material from the table and wiped the grease off your hand before throwing it back down. “You know as well as I do that Qin’s done nothing but cause more problems than brought solutions to the table. I don’t see the reason to spring him- he has nothing to offer, apart from marksmanship and even that is a stretch. I say, let him rot. He did this to himself kriffing around with those Hutt wannabes." You shook your head before continuing, incredulity filling your tone, “and what do you mean a sixth person? What do you need a sixth person for?”
“Look, I’ve got some pieces in play- you’ll see. I need you ready to go back out.” He ordered, plucking a mechanical part of the hyperdrive off the metal table you had carefully placed each article on- throwing it in the air, only to catch it at the last possible second.
You fought back a sigh as he tossed the part up again, only for you to snatch the metal chunk mid descent and slammed it back on the rolling table, the piece leaving smudges of dark grease on your palm.
“What the hell are you up to, Ran?” You growled, pinning him with a dark glare, “I’m not in the mood for your games.”
Ran only smirked, “keep that fire, sweetheart. You’ll need it.”
You grit your teeth at the endearment but dismissed him with a scoff but continued on working on the hyperdrive. “What I need is a vacation to Scarif and to drown myself in fire-water laying on a sandy beach, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
“Look, kid,” Ran rested his arm on the edge of the hyperdrive, looking down at you, “you’re my best. Almost like an extension of myself-”
“-ew.” You cut in, disgust swirling around your features and Ran sighed in growing frustration.
“Listen,” he rolled his eyes, a lock of curling gray hair slipping in front of his face, “you’re the best I got. I need you on this operation with the others. I’m not asking.” Anger bubbled in your chest and you bit your lip to stop yourself from saying something you shouldn’t. His heavy footsteps started away from you, his smug voice calling over his shoulder, “two porgs, one plasma bolt. You’ll see.”
You only looked up once his steps faded, suspicious eyes flicked to meet his back as he waddled away from you, unruly gray hair swaying with his gait, “pile of bantha poodoo.”
(..)
You yawned as you walked in your room, ignoring Xi’an’s annoying giggles floating down the hallway from the living quarters. You raised your arm and slapped the keypad next to you, shutting and locking the door which effectively silenced the Twi’lek’s irritating noises.
A soft ‘reow’ roused you from your musings and you looked to your bed where your loth-cat unfurled herself from your bed and arched her back to stretch, little face scrunching with the exertion as her wide mouth opened in a yawn.
Sad’ii had passed on a few years back, she had been orange with white stripes, yellow eyes that showed nothing but love and compassion- but that sweet nature was countermanded with her ferocity and protective nature. She was easily provoked when a stranger encroached on her territory and had no qualms with letting them know about it.
Mandi was different, a little more reserved- less likely to claw someone’s face off when they walked into your room. But when you felt negatively in any way- it was like she could sense it and act accordingly. She was a rare colour- completely black with grey stripes going down her body but those familiar yellow eyes looked to you with that same unconditional love that her mother shared for you.
She was different from Sad’ii but a beautiful animal and a wonderful companion all the same.
Mandi’s eyes met yours and she walked to the side of the bed, tail swishing for attention as her ear pricked to the side, “it’s been a long day, Mandi. Ran’s got something up his sleeve, I know it.” You moved to the side where she waited patiently and gave her what she was silently asking for. Your fingers slipped into her soft coat, running over her ears and down her body, tracing the curve of her spine before loosely twisting her tail around your finger before you watched it uncurl and swish once more, “just wish I knew what it was.”
You were tired. So, so tired.
With your free hand, you tugged at the chain hidden underneath your tunic, pulling it out to see the small clump of melted beskar that hung around your neck- hidden from the others.
There was no shape to it, no symbol it represented physically and the rarity and cost of the iron itself interested you little, it was your most prized possession for the story behind how you acquired it in the first place.
It was a reminder. It was a keepsake of a terrible time, a physical embodiment of love and havoc, trials and anguish. A manifestation of the lesson you were forced to experience.
It was a lesson you never wanted to learn.
You let the clump of cold iron hit your chest and slipped off your stained vest, letting it roll down your arms and on the floor before starting on your tunic. Each piece of clothing fell away until you were left in your underthings that resembled more of threadbare material at this point than any type of modest clothing that could pass for one’s delicate apparel.
You fell back against the bed with a deep groan, narrowly avoiding Mandi as your back hit the thin mattress. The aches of the day settled in each muscle, making them heavier than six camtono’s of pure beskar tied to each of your limbs.
The dark Loth-cat wound herself into a ball at your side- pressed against your ribcage and her tail curled around her folded legs. “I’m exhausted, Mandi.” You whispered to her, confiding your deepest thoughts and emotions into the only living organism you trusted, “exhausted with everything- this life, the constant wondering of my purpose here.” The soft thrumming of Mandi’s loud purrs lulled you into a vacant state.
You were aware of everything and nothing.
The soft creaks of the space station, the trills of Mandi at your side and your calm heartbeat in your ears. Your eyelids felt like they were being weighed down, “is it bad to think that I don’t have a purpose? I think it’s pretty safe to say so.”
You mused, lips catching on the words you attempted to speak- slurring inflections with an exhausted grace, “I mean, every day is the same for me, but inside,” you tapped at your chest lazily before your hand fell against it, laying uselessly over your heart, “nothing’s been the same. It won’t ever be. Not anymore. . .” Your voice trailed off, unprompted tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and you closed them instantly, willing away the traitorous embodiments of sentiments long passed with a deep, wavering breath.
“I wish he was here.” Your last statement came out in a puff of air before blessed darkness enveloped you.
Your dreams forever replayed the events that had changed the course and meaning of your world, you were never gifted a reprieve from the dark time you were forced to relive every night.
Memories filled with the scent of scorched durasteel and blaster fire, sacred iron melting against a canvas of sand and blood and calloused hands slipping against heated skin- stolen moments of considered weakness under silent stars and trembling lips that followed the example.
A moment wished to be forgotten but permanently immortalized- etched in your mind’s eye with perfect clarity.
And a star winked out of existence in a mere heartbeat.