Chapter Text
Leaning heavily against the window, Lucas carefully observes as the earth rapidly gets closer beneath them. He can’t stop the almost quiet, resigned sigh that escapes his throat when the tremors shaking the plane and the loud thud of wheels hitting the concrete indicate they have finally landed at their destination.
Lucas feels the warm hand that had been resting comfortably on his thigh squeeze him softly. Grateful for what he knows is supposed to be a comforting gesture, Lucas covers the hand with his own to show his appreciation.
He can do this.
They were going to enjoy their one-week stay in beautiful Italy and then, they would be flying back home.
And not home as in London, but home - as in Paris.
Lucas was still unsure whether or not this was a comforting thought.
They had built a life in London during the past three years and moving back to Paris was somehow scary. Even scarier than moving to a country to complete a degree in a language he could, at the time, barely speak. Which in the end, had been the perfect excuse to bury himself in work and thus effectively distract himself from his still recent painful past.
After recently completing his degree in biology in London a few weeks ago, Lucas had been able to find an internship in a prestigious lab in Paris for the next coming year. His partner had also been lucky enough to easily find a job in the French capital – in the city that had seen them both born and where they would be starting their new life in two weeks. The prospect of new jobs and experiences, as exciting and stressing as it could be, was however not entirely what was weighing heavily on Lucas’ mind.
It was not moving back to Paris in itself that was scary; after all, he would once again be close to all his loved ones and Lucas' heart was filling up with a comforting warmth at the thought. No - moving back to the city where all his high school memories were hiding in every corner of every street – a park, a bench, a café, a cinema, a restaurant or even a museum – was what scared him the most. It was the reason why they had moved to London in the first place. Because Lucas had been too weak to handle even just the idea of being confronted to all these places on a daily basis. So when the offer had been presented to him: moving to England to live with his not-just-yet-but-almost boyfriend and his to-be mother-in-law, had seemed like the easiest option.The least painful one.
The hand still resting on Lucas’ thigh brings him back to the present moment when it leaves it to gently come up and brush his cheek instead.
“Everything’s going to be OK, babe.”
Lucas turns his head, immediately meeting his boyfriend’s kind smile and loving deep hazel eyes. “You won’t even have to talk to them.”
The late afternoon sunlight filtering through the window sparkles brightly in the older man’s eyes; it reveals a little bright explosion of light, brown chocolate surrounding the irises, looking like a lost speckle in a luscious green meadow. Lucas finds himself momentarily captivated by the beautiful irises looking at him adoringly and the comfort they hold. This gaze directed upon him has always had the power of making Lucas feel comforted and appeased. Grounded to the moment, grounded to the soil and grass beneath his feet – grounded to earth.
This is one of the first noticeable difference Lucas ever noticed – how Mathis’ eyes were keeping him grounded to the moment whereas crinkled, greyish blue eyes had always made him feel like drowning – drowning, until uncontrollably sinking down into new galaxies, drifting from constellation to constellation, floating from one dream to another. A never-ending journey through space and time, through oceans and –
Maybe this is exactly what had been too much.
Maybe he had known what was best for Lucas. That Lucas needed to look for stability and balance; not to settle for the uncertainty of dreams.
At least, this is what Lucas had spent the past years trying to convince himself of – that what happened was the best for him.
And Lucas is now. Convinced, that is.
So really, he still isn't sure why his stomach had started to twist and roll uncomfortably since he learned this moment was coming.
Lucas knows that Mathis is right; he will not have to talk to them more than necessary. Besides, the heartbreak that almost destroyed him a few years ago is a distant memory. He is a different man now. Lucas doesn’t want his boyfriend to be concerned or get the wrong idea and imagine that he is still affected by the past.
Because he isn’t.
Not after all this time and all the work done on himself to get better.
On this thought, Lucas tries to offer a somewhat reassuring smile when he leans in to peck his boyfriend’s cheek, muttering a small, “I know.”
He tries to forget about the worry that has been making him feel nauseous since the plane took off and places a hand on Mathis cheek, turning the other’s head in a more convenient angle so he can press his lips against his. They kiss tenderly; the lips under Lucas’ are warm and soft and familiar and – Lucas lets himself bask in the additional comfort the sweet touch brings him. The smile on Mat’s face as they part his filled with love and affection and Lucas’ worries momentarily melt away at the sight.
He will not allow the ghosts from his past to make him feel any kind of regret or worry. Not when it resulted in Lucas having such an incredible and understanding man sharing his life. Them getting together as a couple certainly had been intricately laced with painful and difficult moments, but now, after all this time, Lucas is finally happy. It had taken long enough for him to reach the current state of mind where he no longer cares about the past.
Lucas has never been happier than he is now; safe and grounded.
He had long ago closed his wide-open bleeding wounds and is convinced the love and care Mathis has used to seal the wounds is impenetrable.
It has to be.
“Are you ready to tell them?”
Lucas only realizes now that Mathis has used Lucas’ short moment of distraction to link their fingers together. The thumb running a soothing pattern across the back of his hand sends shivers down his spine and once again, he wonders.
What has he done to deserve so much love?
They are still sitting patiently in their seats while other passengers around them start gathering their bags from the overhead compartments, ready to get off the plane even though the doors have yet to be opened.
Lucas feels his throat tighten at the question and hopes Mathis will not read anything into the slight lightning bolt of panic he is sure just flashed in his eyes, to make its electrifying way directly to his heart.
He offers an unconvincing, “after the wedding”, in a half croaked voice which makes his affirmation sounds more like a question.
Lucas knows that once the wedding is passed, he will not have any more excuses to delay the moment he announces this big news to everyone. It is curious, all things considered, how he would not mind keeping this for himself. But Lucas doesn’t want Mathis to believe he is trying to hide such a thing from his friends. So Lucas knows he will have no other choice but to talk to them all at some point.
Fortunately for the younger man, being understanding and patient have always been two of Mat's best qualities – the ones that had seen them through as a couple after everything that happened.
“Sounds good,” his partner agrees immediately, voice warm and soft, pecking him gently on the lips to seal this new agreement.
The growing line in the walkway, mostly composed of impatient passengers, finally starts to move toward the exits of the plane.
Lucas’ eyes fall on Mathis' fit body when his boyfriend stands up to grab their carry on bags. He can’t help but appreciatively take notice of how the tight white t-shirt he is wearing is stretching nicely across his well-defined arms and chest. Lucas is pretty sure that, with this lean and muscular body built by hours of indoors and outdoors climbing, Mathis will make a striking figure as a science teacher when September comes. Surely his fit body and handsome face will catch many hormonal young girls and boys attention. The normally nice and tight fitting t-shirts often tucked in slim chino pants that Mat affections most of the time, never leave much to the imagination in regards to what his naked form looks like. Lucas is quite proud to be able to call this man his.
But Mathis' pleasant appearance is also a reflection of his personality, Lucas thinks.
Confident but not arrogant. Handsome and sexy but not extravagant. Young but not immature – his light extended goatee and short fringe up hairstyle adding to the smart, young adult look. Sportive but calm. Aware of what he is and what he is not. Open minded, patient and generous.
As Lucas reflects on how his boyfriend is on the paper the perfect man, his gaze is still drifting absently over his body. Until it stops on the exposed tan skin of the taut stomach revealed by the shirt that came out of his pants when he lifted his arms to reach he compartment. When Mat looks back down to hand Lucas his own bag, he notices Lucas’ interested eyes and his own big hazel ones lit up.
The corner of his lips quirk up in a teasing smirks. “Liking what you're seeing?”
Lucas isn’t exactly sure if the blood in his body has decided to flow south or north but he can simultaneously feel his cheeks heat up and his pants tighten slightly.
Mat sends a cheeky wink his direction and Lucas grins back to him in return, before sending his own mischievous wink.
He has no reason to be anxious about the coming week.
He has a sexy and smart boyfriend that loves him and desires him. And Lucas desires him back. He will not let anything darken his mood. He came here in Italy to celebrate his best friend’s wedding and will not let anything ruin this week.
.
.
.
The crushing, Italian summer heat is the first thing Lucas notices when they finally set foot out of Florence’s international airport, after having patiently waited under the airport AC as they were waiting to collect their luggage.
Lucas immediately regrets being once again too stubborn and leaving London with a hoodie, especially when his boyfriend had encouraged him to wear a t-shirt despite London’s pouring weather. But well, some things just never change and Lucas’ love for hoodies is still as huge as it was in high school; more often than not, contrasting with his boyfriend’s more smart casual look. Hoodies are the most comfortable pieces of clothing that ever existed and what's best than comfortable clothes to travel?
The moment Lucas’ eyes finally adjust to the bright sunlight, he immediately notices his best friend striding toward them; the wide grin stretching his lips a reflection of Lucas’ own one, betraying how excited they both are to see each other again.
It only takes a few seconds for Lucas to find himself pulled into a bone crushing hug. The strong arms around his waist are almost lifting him off the ground and he laughs happily.
“I’m so happy to see you,” Yann says quietly, emotions so obviously constricting his throat.
“So am I,” Lucas breathes out, laugh dying down as he suddenly feels the emotions catch up with him, too.
He tucks his face against his best friend’s shoulder and although his eyes become wet with unshed tears, his lips are stretched in a wide happy smile.
This only serves Lucas to confirm that he will not let any past problems of his own come and interrupt his best friend’s happiness. This week is Yann’s and Yann’s alone.
And well – his future wife’s too, obviously.
A few more seconds passe before Yann decides it's time to release him, after one last squeeze. He ruffles his hair playfully, which still infuriates Lucas, but the young man is way too happy to say anything and he watches as Yann takes a step back so he can also greet Mat with a hand shake and quick hug.
“Hey Mat! I’m so happy you guys could make it.”
“Hey mate,” Mathis returns the greeting along with his friendly, signature smile. “I think congratulations are in order! Ready for the big day?”
Yann beams at the mention of the wedding and happily starts talking about it, confiding how he never thought he would ever feel so certain about something before inquiring about their flight.
“How is Emma? Not too stressed out with all those wedding plannings?” , Mathis asks from the back seat, popping his head between the two front seats once they are comfortably settled in Yann’s rental car.
The future groom chuckles.
“She’s fine - too fine, in my opinion! I thought women were supposed to be the ones stressing about this whole wedding thing but so far it seems like I’ve been doing it enough myself for the both of us. She is so unfazed about everything that she even entertained the idea of us driving all the way from Paris. I don’t think she was realizing just how exhausting that would be.”
Lucas barks out a laugh at that, not surprised at all to hear this. This is just so like the Emma he has always known. Laid back and unbothered. It reassures him to know that at least one person has not changed while he was away.
“She definitely will not be in any state to drive back after the wedding,” Lucas snickers.
Yann’s exasperated but amused sighs only says a lot about how aware he is of his best friend’s words truthfulness. “You know her. Our wedding night will probably be spent with us hovering over the toilet with her emptying her stomach and me holding her hair up.”
The three men in the car chuckle at that but Lucas’ laugh quickly transforms into a fond smile as he remembers his friend’s exuberance. It suddenly heavily weighs on him: how much he has missed all his friends.
The one-hour drive to the little town where the villa they will be spending the week in is located is spent in pleasant talks. Lucas tactfully manages to dodge the too personal questions, but Mathis is not as reserved as Lucas is and enthusiastically tells Yann all about the flat they will be moving in when they come back to Paris. Most of their stuff has already been sent to the apartment but they have yet to spend a night there.
“My dad is a real estate agent in Paris and he found us this really cute flat in the 14e arrondissement. It’s a duplex apartment – it’s really not that big but it’s perfect for a couple. It’ also perfectly located in between Lucas’ lab and the high school I’ll be working at.”
Eyes focused on the road ahead, Yann whistles appreciatively.
“Wow, man. A duplex apartment sounds amazing. Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Lulu? We won’t be living too far away from each other now… and you know what that means?” Yann’s excited voice and smile are not letting place to any doubts but Lucas decides it's been too long since he had the opportunity to tease his best friend. Besides, wasn't it part of his best man's job?
”No Yann. I definitely doesn’t mean that you can come an hide at our place whenever Emma has a girls night at your place.”
“Idiot,” Yann laughs before grinning widely, “it means game nights again!”
Lucas knew exactly this was coming – and still, he tenses a little at hearing the words out loud and tries not to let the discomfort he suddenly feels show in his laugh. He knows he needs to get a serious grip of himself, and soon. Yann is right after all. Now that they will all be living close to each other again, they will probably be hanging out like they used to.
Yann doesn’t seem to notice the slight shift in his mood and continues, "speaking of that, will you be throwing a house warming party?"
Now is the moment to prove Lucas is way over the past and can act in a normal, mature way.
“Obviously. You, the gang, the crew, Mat’s friends. Maybe some friends from London if they are around.”
Not that there were a lot on his side with how busy with studies Lucas had kept himself.
“The gang …” Yann repeats slowly, as if finally remembering the current situation and what game nights and a house warming party with the gang imply. His eyes quickly travel between Lucas sitting next to him and Mathis’ reflection in the rear mirror, “the gang as in – “
“Yup.” Lucas cuts in and well, even if this doesn’t exactly answers Yann’s question, his best friend doesn’t pressure him into giving more details, which Lucas is grateful for.
Lucas is really determined to let the past behind him and even though he is still unsure he can forgive; he can at least make the effort to tolerate and maybe one day, understand.
The silence that settled in the car ends quickly when Yann leaves the main road to engage the car onto a narrow, graveled road.
“The little town is only a couple of miles away from the villa. We honestly couldn’t have found better location and let me tell you – get ready to be speechless.”
And indeed, Lucas’ breath catch in his throat when the house - the villa - finally comes in view; it is positioned atop a little hill which offers a stunning view over the landscape. He chuckles, wide blue amazed eyes still reflecting his surprise. “Bro, did you win loto or something while I was in London and somehow forgot to tell me?”
The villa is big, apparently two storeys high and Lucas can even see the end of what looks like to be a swimming pool peaking out from behind the corner. The sun now slowly setting behind the Toscanian rolling hills basks the whole place in different shades of oranges hues and yellow glows that make the place look like it’s coming out of a movie. Or a painting. Or some kind of travel magazines.
His best friend chuckles when he notices Lucas' and Mathis' matching astounded faces, “believe me - had I won the loto, you and I, Lulu, would be drunk off our asses in some tropical pacific islands”
“Yeah, because a beautiful villa in Tuscany is so outdated” Mat chuckles, still taking in the beautiful place they are apparently lucky to be spending the week at.
“This is actually Emma’s mum wedding gift,” Yann explains and seeing Lucas’ round eyes looking at him he quickly adds, “she is not there. She is staying in a hotel in Florence with Arthur’s dad. It will only be us.”
Lucas nods and tries not to lose his smile. Here they finally are. Us.
As if sensing his sudden discomfort, Mat discreetly slips a hand between Lucas’ seat and the passenger window to squeezes his shoulder.
“Who else is staying in the villa?”, he then asks the questions Lucas has been dying to ask since they entered the car.
Lucas and Mathis had already discussed all the possibilities together and even though they are already pretty certain of the answer, Lucas feels like hearing it out loud would help make it real, would help him mentally prepare for the most likely soon-to-be confrontations.
He had been aware from the beginning that they would be at the wedding; but with everything happening around them, with organizing their moving out of London to Paris and leaving their old lives behind, their schedules had been pretty busy. In consequences, their accommodation in Italy had not been at the forefront of their mind – especially when Yann had assured Lucas that he could trust him with everything.
Yann’s smile seems to lose some of its confidence and yup – maybe they should have asked the question before accepting Yann’s offer to stay with them all for free.
That being said, even with knowing that everyone was going to be staying in the same house, Lucas isn’t sure he would have refused anyway; he had missed his friends terribly and was looking forward to spending some time with them.
“Well,” Yann coughs uncomfortably as he parks the car next to the line of rental cars already aligned near the villa, “we wanted all our closest friends to be there with us” and Lucas tries not to hear how is tone is too, slightly shifting from confident to doubtful, “this means: you guys, Bas and Daphy and Imane and Sofiane. Alexia, Manon, Arthur, Idriss and Eliott.”
Yann kills the engine just as he finishes to enumerate their friends' names. Lucas decides to not let the situation become awkward; he doesn’t want Yann to feel bad or guilty about anything that has always been completely out of his control. Sure, Lucas was hoping that they would not have to share the same accommodation, but there is still absolutely no reason why things can’t work out. He will just have to tolerate a bit longer.
Not so long ago, Lucas would have been convinced that a week in these conditions was not something he could handle without loosing his sanity. But now, after almost three years spent working on his insecurities, his confusion and his anger, three years spent on learning how to love himself and how to trust and let someone in again, Lucas is ready to take the first step. Or maybe this is the final step to definitely conclude this part of his life. And his stomach still insisting on twisting uncomfortably will not be enough to discourage him.
“That’s cool,” he answers and although he is smiling and his voice hasn't wavered, he quickly opens the passenger’s door to go grab their bags from the trunk. Before his determination can grow a will of its own and makes the decision to hop on the next available flight to London.
Mat and Yann join him behind the car and Lucas feels the later place a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“I hope it won’t make things awkward. We really wanted all our friends to share this week with us. And you know how close he’s become with Emma. I’m sorry, Lucas. I should have warned you.”
The thing is - given the circumstances of their very last encounter, it made sense to Lucas that Emma and him had become closer friends, he had even suspected it. It didn't bother Lucas though, he had at least been mature enough to not ask his friends to pick sides. It would especially not have been fair on Emma. And Lucas had not been too keen on ruining yet another of Emma's relationship. So no, he actually didn’t know that much about it, no. It’s not like he had let any of his friends mention their names to him when they were messaging, immediately changing the topic whenever they tried.
“That’s not a problem at all,” Mat is quick to answer reassuringly for him, “we were expecting it would be the case.”
Lucas feels a surge of love warming up his chest when he hears his boyfriend taking it on him to do the talking. As much as Lucas would like to deny it, his throat is a little too tight with unwanted emotions to be comfortable reassuring Yann.
Lucas knows he can handle the situation but still, it will be the first time in three years that he will be confronted to them. He is pretty sure anyone would be feeling if not anxious, then a least a little apprehensive. Right?
“We made sure to pick up rooms on different levels. This should hopefully prevent some uncomfortable, uhm... situations. ”
Lucas can’t help but feel slightly guilty hearing these words – Yann had never asked to be in the middle of all of this but he is still worrying about Lucas’ selfish own little comfort, when he should instead be worrying about more important matters – like his wedding, for instance. If anything, this only encourages Lucas further into his determination to act as normal as possible. Perhaps not exactly as if nothing ever happened, but at least to act decent and polite and yeah – normal, really. As much possible.
The young man isn’t sure he’ll be able to talk and laugh with them as if nothing ever happened; as if his heart didn’t get shattered twice over – thrice even, if he takes the friendship heartbreak into consideration – by people he loved and trusted. But he can make an effort and at least act like a decent human being.
Acting all wounded and hurt would not help anyway.
If any issues come up, it won’t be coming from him. Besides, Lucas is here with his partner who he loves dearly. His partner who has grounded him, who has pulled him out of the water when he was drowning.
With this in mind, Lucas swallows back any negative feelings and keeps only the positive ones close to his heart.
He slings his bag over his shoulder and pats Yann’s shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry bro, this is all in the past. We’re all adult here. If everyone is willing to make an effort, I’m sure we can all live together for a week.”
Yann smiles and the relief washing over his feature is hard to miss. He one-side hug him briefly before nodding in direction of the house.
“I’ll let you guys grab your stuff. I’ll let the others know we’re back.”
Lucas and Mathis both nod gratefully, recognizing Yann’s way of giving them a few minutes of privacy. Once his best friend is out of hearing reach, Mat cradles Lucas’ cheeks between his calloused, experienced climber hands to lift his face up so their eyes can meet.
“One word and we are out of here.”
Seeing his boyfriend’s so serious eyes, Lucas smiles softly and tilts his head on the side, seeking more of the warmth of the other’s palm.
“I think my best friend title would be revoked if didn’t show up at the altar with the rings.”
“I’m sure Basile would happily take the matter into his own hands.” Mat jokes and Lucas can’t help but chuckle.
“He sure would, but I don’t think Yann’s nerves would make it out intact.”
They both laugh and Mathis slips a hand behind Lucas’ neck to play with the soft hair he finds there.
“I love you,” he says with a gentle smile which has Lucas’ inside melts.
Even though they had already been friends and known each other for a few months, it had taken quite some time for Lucas to trust Mathis enough to let him in full charge of his fragile, broken heart. But the taller brunet had been patient and understanding. He had helped Lucas swim back to the surface of the dark waters that had submerged his life three years ago. Mathis had patiently and diligently helped Lucas pick up the broken pieces of his heart, mending each of them with care and love.
As much as it pained Lucas to admit it, his love for Mat had never evolved into the earth shattering and wild, uncontrollable electrifying love he had felt for El – for him. Sadly aware of this, Lucas’ feelings had still developed to love nonetheless. A tranquil, peaceful, easy love. Love built on patience, trust and understanding. Lucas knows he owes Mat a lot. He loves Mat. And he knows that Mathis is head over heels for him; that he had been for much longer than him actually, already three years ago.
“I love you, too” the younger man answers sincerely, standing up on his tip toes to bring their faces closer and allow their lips to meet in a soft kiss.
Overcome with gratitude, Lucas opens his mouth and Mathis doesn’t wait to slip his tongue past the younger man’s lips. The kiss deepens as the two men lick softly into each other’s mouth and Lucas involuntarily lets out a happy, content sigh. As the kiss becomes more and more passionate, Lucas slips his hands under Mathis' t-shirt and caresses the soft skin of his waist while Mathis' own hands slide down to cup his ass.
They separate, all flushed and a little out of breath; matching soft grins widening.
“Let’s go.”
After grabbing his own suitcase, Mathis closes the trunk and grabs Lucas’ hand, interlacing their fingers; anchoring him in the present, where he should be, far away from the past.
The corner of Lucas’ lips pull up and he lets himself be guided confidently toward the entrance.
They will be fine.
Won’t they?