Chapter Text
In the modern halls of Mon Cala Space Agency, Rose’s dancing gait could not be mistaken for anyone else’s. Her steps beat a joyful rhythm, echoing along the glassy office walls and heavy secured doors. Her shiny new badge was bouncing between the open folds of her yellow lab coat.
Rose liked the weight of it. The way it spelled her name for everyone and reminded them that she belonged in this place of technological prowess.
Humming, she walked down empty laboratories until she reached the only left lightened. Her round face sprang in the door frame with a beaming smile as she crooned: “Alan! Workday is over!”
Her coworker glanced in her direction before her contagious smile took over his old features. As usual, his glasses had fallen down his nose, but his hands were too busy with assembling the components of a new fan system to take care of it. The bright light from his worktable highlighted his face from under, casting strange shadows on his dark skin.
“I’m almost done.” He informed with a voice deep in his work.
Curious dancing steps came up to him. “Is this for the next launcher?” Rose enquired, leaning as far as she could without getting in his way.
“Yes. The fans did not pass the lightning trial. Reducing the size still cause too many thermal issues.” He indulged her inquiring mind.
“Did you work on the flux converter already?” Rose replied, eyeing the notes her colleague curiously despite herself.
“The power converter you mean?”
“Huh, yes!” She suddenly took a step back from the worktable. Rose’s blouse became stifling hot when she realized her mistake. Alan continued, oblivious of her trouble.
“We did, but… can’t point out why it can’t hold the right amount of power.”
Rose’s hair buns moved between him and his work again, and he let the young engineer have a look. Her scanning gaze documented each piece, comparing their placements with her readings and own experiments. This challenge to most was a child’s play for her.
“The curve feels wrong.” Rose pointed out, without any calculation or instruments. “Do you have the layout somewhere?”
Alan scrolled on a transparent screen before him and zoomed on the plans he’d been keeping under hand. Rose’s mouth twisted in intense thinking, many schematics coming back to her. Her pupils were running at each corner of the plans, while she made and unmade the system within her mental schematics.
“That’s what I thought. The layout doesn’t take in count the rotation axis, and once it’s molded it affects the converter. Try to shape it inwards, it’ll reduce the power loss.”
Pushing his glasses up his nose, Alan smiled with a slight shake of head. “Looks like you’re the one who did that your whole life.”
Rose’s cheerful grin dug dimples into her cheeks, turning her slanted eyes into crescent moons before she shyly looked away. This was the main reason why she quickly got along with Alan. He did not dismiss her help because she ‘had no idea what was going on in a world renown agency’.
He had been a precious friend since her arrival in Mon Cala SA, Rose thought fondly. But a false note sometimes made its way into Rose’s happiness. An illegitimate and bothering sharp sound that made her dancing steps going off rhythm.
An unfulfilled need to be understood. That someone will finally see the layout as clearly as she was seeing it. Despite his kindness, this was not Alan’s case. It had never been the case with anyone.
He opened his mouth, visibly ready to launch into detailed improvements for the fans, when the sight of Rose’s handbag brought him back to the hour of the day.
“Did you come here to get me out or to finish my work?” He scolded her with playful exaggeration.
His exclamation pulled Rose out of her spiraling thoughts. Back to the empty laboratory where they were the only engineers with visibly nothing better to do than to be here on a Thursday night.
“Please, don’t tell anyone. They’ll give me more work than I can dream of!” Rose gasped impishly in return, easily falling back into their friendly back and forth.
She let him pack his belongings in his worn-out backpack and turned off the pill lights around the lab walls. Then the two of them made their way through the several secured doors between the huge lab and the parking lot.
“I was thinking we could go to Hayley’s,” Rose suggested enthusiastically, chasing for good the earlier hint of bitterness that sipped through the cracks of her joyful self.
“Did you forget the party tonight?” Alan cocked his head on the side, old eyes turning a notch paternal.
“Party?”
Rose’s sheepishness slipped right back into her voice. Shame of forgetting another thing that wasn’t engineering related reddened her cheeks. She knew Alan would mean no harm, yet her embarrassment was all the same.
“Armie’s birthday?” He offered kindly. “I thought that’s why you came to fetch me.”
“Sorry. It completely passed over my head.”
“Don’t worry. He left Mon Cala a couple of years before you got in.”
“Oh really?”
In Rose’s head, this Armie already gained her esteem for having previously worked in a space program. She knew the hardships one was going through to make a difference in this field. It involved far more tinkering than people suspected. But as she focused to register everything her colleague was giving her, a detail struck Rose.
“He must have been really close with the people here, to invite them to his birthday after leaving the company.”
Alan’s hoarse laugh echoed in the main hall between the high glassy walls of the vast modernist entrance.
“Oh no, this guy doesn’t have friends.” The old man answered her inquiring look. “He is an over achiever. Never had time for anything else than work. A bit of a douchebag, if I may. But he keeps good contacts in the field through this kind of parties.”
Her opinion of Armie began its descent with too much speed before crashing down, not unlike their last launcher. If even his birthday was an occasion to make work contacts, he did not look like a man who had a life outside of his job.
“Wow, sounds like a real keeper...” She concluded with slight disappointment. “And he keeps inviting everyone? Not just the managers and heads of departments?”
The chill evening air wrapped around the engineers on their way out, blowing lightly in the flaps of their lab coats. Rose couldn’t help gazing at the stars that began to prickle the night sky. However, she did not find the comfort that they usually provided her.
“In his own words, we have an image of unity to uphold. Afterall the young and brilliant engineers of today may become the leaders of tomorrow.”
Her gaze drifted back to Alan as they reached her car. The solar powered streetlights casted a cold blue light on them. At least the birthday guy did not sound like a dismissive old man. It was more the portrait of a man cultivating his own profit. A bit lonely as well.
“Don’t bother too much about him. He gets to show off and we get to drink for free.”
Rose nodded, fumbling for her keys down her purse. Alan was right. She was thinking through this too much as usual.
Where are those car keys? She swore, she had too much stuff in this damn bag–
“Come on Rose, the others are waiting for us.”
She froze.
Did you ever experience this feeling, as a scene unravels before your eyes, that you already witnessed this exact moment, in this exact place, with the same persons? Like the pieces of a puzzle that you already made before and your fingers remember by themselves. Then before you realize it, every detail falls into place.
It happened to Rose on numerous occasions. But her visions were far, far away from her present life. She believed for a long time that they were stories she imagined. But the right word was rather… memories. This one was about a friend, going away with the exact same words…
Come on Rose, the others are waiting for us.
His vest had been roughly sown back where a laser blade had sliced it. He walked up to the ramp of an aircraft. People in orange fly suits passing between them as he called for her. Rose knew his name. Finn…
Her steps brought her forward, wanting to follow him. She longed to hold her friend, to hear his voice once again and for him to reassure her. That she wasn’t fantasizing all that.
Finn’s intangible form was escaping her once more. Ever present but never in her reach. And Rose despaired to ever live free of these visions.
She shook the haze of remembrance clouding her head and slid in the privacy of her car. Her grip tightened on the wheel as her forehead laid on the top of the leathery surface. She breathed in and out, recalling what her therapist said about staying in the present. But the vividness of those moments held her heart in a grasp too real to ignore.
She was not in space. Rose hammered inside her head. She was on Earth. And she was going to a party, not on a mission. But this mantra was easier to hear without the sounds of combat boots stomping around her.
She drowned them decisively in the rumble of her engine. Then, with the firm intention of letting all this in her rearview mirror, Rose focused on the road ahead. Without a doubt, this birthday party was exactly was she needed right now.
.
Rose hurried down the street to the apartment complex where she was supposed to arrive half an hour ago. Her heels clicked frenetically; steps shortened by the short green dress she had passed on. Maybe it was a notch too fancy for a work party, but at this point anything was good to get her mind off those unsettling déjà-vu!
The stiffness of the fabric hugging her body was enough of a distraction. It wasn’t as comfortable as her beloved lab coat and overalls, but as she approached the sleek geometric lines of the monochrome apartments, all artistically stacked up on each other, confidence steadied her steps.
Wrapped in the power of a flattering outfit, Rose placed a self-assured hand on the high grid. The portal opened automatically as soon as she touched it, and Rose spotted the movement of a surveillance camera above her head. It only increased her impression of entering a high clearance facility. She hoped it was the right address or it’d become really awkward.
White stone stairs were paving Rose’s way up to a high and intimidating black door. She ignored the chill night air and the tremors that creeped behind her back at the idea of making a late entrance. With a little chance she will be able to slip inside stealthily Rose hoped, as she climbed up to the elegant entrance.
Should I ring? Is it an automatic door too? Seeing no obvious camera this time, Rose gathered her courage to push the door. A light hubbub greeted her at the end of a corridor. Rose followed a mix of joyous chatter and classy music up to the entrance of a wide living room.
Under the golden light, half of her department as well as people she had never seen before where seated on dark elegant couches, or drinking in small groups from the impeccable kitchen to a large bay window. The delicious smells of appetizers passing among the guests greeted Rose, momentarily distracting her from her search for known faces.
Every furniture, every glass of champagne and burst of laughter built an appealing and gilded world from which the young engineer felt estranged. Rose stepped within the crowd unable to shake a disconcerting wariness. She usually loved hanging around scientists and engineers for their open minds. So why did she have the distinct feeling that every party goer in dress pants around her was participating in some kind of shady business?
Luckily, familiar faces chased away Rose’s unwanted set of mind.
“Rose!”
The arm of a short brunette wearing a navy blazer hugged her tight. She stepped away with a friendly smile, careful with the drink that she was holding in her other hand.
“We thought you’d never come!”
“Hi Lucy!” Rose returned brightly, the crescent moons of her eyes filling with warmth as she waved at her other coworkers. “Hi guys!”
Three men, including Alan greeted her back. She never expected that the sight of their old school sweaters and glasses would soothe her nerves, but it worked wonders on her jittery self.
She grabbed a glass passing by her shoulder, focusing on the coolness of the drink on her fingertips. The conversation resumed on the latest science fiction movie that was animating Rose’s colleagues. Their debate about the physicality of spaceships became a familiar hum in Rose’s environment as she took a better look at the softly lightened balcony and the wooden stairs leading to the upper level.
Rose shook her head as she realized she was identifying exits. What is wrong with you girl?! Fortunately, Lucy had her covered, and provided her with some canapés that melted in her mouth.
“Oh my god, it’s delicious!” Rose exclaimed, half of her mouth occupied with a mouthful of appetizer.
“Isn’t it? Armie isn’t stingy when it comes to hosting.” The brunette approved while engulfing a whole vol-au-vent.
“I wanted to wish him a happy birthday at least,” Rose scanned the room full of researchers absent-mindedly, “But I’m so late, I’m worried I’ll just bother him.”
“Don’t beat yourself for it Rose,” Lucy reassured her with a knowing voice, “Unless you signed a paper in Science, he probably won’t notice.”
This moment hit her with the bothering fact that she didn’t have any name for the man of the hour to search for. In any case, she was not about to disrespect her friend’s attention simply to gather more information. Yet the want to match the experiences of her colleagues with facts itched her engineer fingers.
“He’ll certainly make a speech later and you’ll be thankful not approaching him any closer.”
Why was anyone here if that man inspired them such irritation? Her desire to know became too strong to ignore. Moreover, Rose was getting desperate for something to shush her bothering thoughts. Maybe, a quick tour on the Internet wouldn’t hurt?
“What did you say his name w–”
Hand down her bag, Rose’s focus shifted to where her phone decided to hide. A moment of inattention that triggered a dramatic chain of events going from the waiter who hadn’t seen her take a step back to a particularly shameful landing on all four.
Damn heels, damn her misplaced curiosity, Rose cursed everything in a span of a few seconds meanwhile people stepped away from her drink, spilled with the content of her handbag.
The sound of shattered glass broke the flow of conversations in pieces, heads turned in her direction, only increasing the fire spreading on Rose’s face.
Abandoning her dignity on the lustrous stone floor, she picked her belongings as fast as she could. Rose caught a glimpse of Lucy trying to save her keys from the champagne flood.
You’ve outdone yourself with this one Rose!
“What happened?” Someone breached through the circle that had widened around Rose.
“I’m sorry I–”
Did you ever experience this painful memory of being on your knees as you meet an old enemy’s gaze; and suddenly everything comes back to you… as clear as the day he leaned down on you pronouncing your death sentence?
No, that was just Rose.
Only her had that unmatched talent for screaming her heart out at the sight of stark green eyes and properly styled red hair before slapping a long-hated face with all she had.
.
Armitage’s head whipped to the side, the imprint of her hand burning through his flesh and bones. His whole body was in shock, frozen halfway through helping her up.
It might be the first time that he was ever thankful for his pain, he thought while his fingers brushed his stinging cheek incredulously. It was throbbing, ringing in his head with a rawness he couldn’t have imagined.
This party, the people around him, the dark floor underneath them, nothing approached the reality of her shock. None of what surrounded him was as rock solid as her short breath, her gaping mouth and the frown knotting her eyebrows.
Before he had the chance to pick himself up, she stormed out with as much fury as in one of his dreams. The bright green of her dress persisting on his retina like the sun.
Then the pressure of the stares lingering on him darkened his vision. Armitage stood up promptly, smoothing down the expensive wool of his black suit. He wasted no time going after her in the crack she left through the crowd. Broken glass cracked under his shiny shoes meanwhile he cleared his throat.
“No harm done everyone!” He reassured his guests, hands raised up in attempt of dismissing the brutality of this reunion. “I’m handling this matter.”
However, his polite and well-crafted tone hardly hid the turmoil agitating him. He left his living room full of astounded rocket scientists and board directors to pursue a woman whom he doubted, up to now, that he would ever see her again. In her panic, she fled where people weren’t blocking her way, and Armitage’s heart raced with an equal fear as she disappeared down the first corridor she saw.
He heard the bathroom door shutting behind the clicking of her heels. Oh no, I will not allow it! In no time Armitage had caught the door handle and yanked it harshly, but the lock clicked in protest. Grip tightening until his knuckles turned white, he sighed exasperatedly through his nose. As if a single door had the power to stop him.
“Open the door,” Armitage demanded, he thought with a tone commanding obedience, but it came out shaken by the stinging memory of her.
“Get away from me!”
Her shout snapped from behind the door, whipping with emotional inflexions that he thought he forgot.
The truth was buried deep yet never gone. He remembered everything!
“Rose… open the door.” A lifetime ago, when there was far more than a wood panel separating them.
Armitage gulped, his Adam’s apple pressing against his throat as he failed to chase the weight of his past coming back and crush him. He let go of the handle and laid his hand flat on the door to support himself.
“Rose Tico.”
The complete silence that answered him made Armitage wish she slapped him again, yelled at him, a reaction, anything!
He shut his eyes close to shield himself from the flashes of wars and troops and intergalactic weapons but there was so little eyelids could do to shield him from all of that. So, he attempted to steady his swirling thought with her image. So vivid and clear, Armitage had never doubted these memories were not a product of his imagination.
Through time and space, he was always a man of certainty, but her quietness began to make his resolution falter. Did she remember him… the way he remembered her? Or was he just a fool chasing down a woman that he simply scared away?!
Somehow, he knew better than to pound against the door, but not frightening her took him his whole strength as he grew desperate for an answer.
Until his patience paid off.
“Hux?”
Her dumbfounded whisper stilled his restless limbs instantly. There were high chances that he was able to hear her because she was leaning against the door as well –Armitage hoped for a moment, with the same astonishment that struck him.
Thousands of questions were pressing inside his head, he couldn’t pick a single one to begin with, so she beat him to it.
“I thought I was crazy…” She shifted out of his sight. “H– How is this possible?”
“If I had the slightest idea…” He would have, in complete honesty, never looked too deep into it.
A glance at the illuminated end of the corridor confirmed him no one had been foolish enough to come and check on them.
“I thought I was the only one.” He let slip a glimpse of years of loneliness.
“You never spoke about it?” Rose reached out through the wood panel, “To anyone?”
“Did you?” Not believing he was actually having this conversation with someone else.
“My therapist…” Who did not believe you either, Armitage thought. “She said in her own words that my imagination was playing tricks on me.”
“But it never wore off isn’t it?”
Like the visions of the past never left him, they did not leave her either. And it was oddly the most comforting thought he had today. Knowing that he was not alone anymore.
His hand slid back on the door handle with a new hope, “Let me in Rose.”
A pregnant pause darkened this spark.
“Do you what never wore off?” The way her voice hardened on the edge made him let go of the handle right away.
“Hays Minor… All the people I loved, dead fighting against the First Order.”
“Rose–”
“The moment I saw you, it all came back!” Her accusation now left no doubt on the impression she left him. His cheek remembered it just as sharply.
“Please! Can I explain myself elsewhere than in my bloody hall?”
Armitage slammed the locked door, only succeeding in shooting a throbbing pain up to his elbow and increasing his anger.
“Will a bathroom be better?!” Rose countered, not showing any fear at his outburst.
“Yes, seeing you would highly improve the situation!”
The unsettling silence that followed triggered Armitage’s worry. He leaned on the door to make sure he didn’t miss her answer.
Instead, the door yielded unexpectedly under his weight. Armitage barely caught himself on the frame, to avoid his chest to collide with a furious Rose.
The air sparked, electrified, in the middle of ground of their dark glares.
She rose against him with fierceness that he had not forgotten even in this life. A rebellious attitude, he allowed himself to phrase in those terms, that used to irk him before. Now an unwanted stirring took him by surprise, as his treacherous eyes glided down her parted lips and heaving chest.
In this space between them everything changed. Time had no other meaning than measuring the hold of their breaths. The attraction of their bodies defying every law of gravity. Those few inches contained a lifetime of missed opportunities and countless new possibilities.
She was there… the rebel mechanic. She came back into his life unexpectedly, sneaking into his flat, crashing his party–
The party! He cursed, snapping out of her enticing pull.
Using this timely excuse, Armitage retreated from Rose’s personal space and thankfully took a breath of something that wasn’t her heady perfume.
“Allow me– 30 seconds.”
With that, he ran back to his too crowded living room, trying to gather his thoughts all over the place. But his slightly disheveled hair and distressed expression already turned some heads in his direction. Clearing his throat, Armitage clapped his hands loudly, attracting the attention of the ones who had not spotted him yet.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the party is over! Thank you all for coming and drive safely home.”
Questioning looks were exchanged but no one seemed to measure how serious Armitage was until he commanded with a long-underused military voice.
“Out! Now!”