Work Text:
Starscream was rarely one to admit his troubles, even to you. Centuries of emotional suppression had scarred him and built walls in his mind. As much as you hated it, those walls would remain, no matter how long you two were close. Starscream already kept you at arms length as is and it was difficult to imagine things any other way. As desperately as you yearned for more, you accepted that friendship was as close as you would get to him.
Trying to make sense of a post-war Cybertron was difficult enough, but you knew there was more to the restlessness that had been consuming Starscream lately. More often than not, he remained holed up in his office, refusing to take rations and calling in to all of his meetings.
Usually you waited until he was in his office to try and talk to him and convince him to eat, but today you woke up extra early to wait for him outside his apartment since he was only two blocks away. Technically you weren’t supposed to be able to get into the complex but the security guards were suckers for a pretty face. So you were there, waiting with two cubes of freshly purified energon and an engraved techno flower, with delicate blue petals and his name etched into the stem. You hoped to catch him on a good day, maybe cheer him up.
You weren’t expecting the scream. When it happened, you lurched forward and checked the hall for anyone else. It hadn’t struck you before, but there weren’t any other apartments on this floor. There was another cry, sharp and warbled, and you dropped everything. You didn’t think twice before barreling through the door. The cries were quieter but more frequent when you stumbled through and into the freezing cold suite.
“Starscream?” you whispered, briefly glancing around. The living room was spotless, the only sign of forced entry being the door you crashed through.
A garbled, choking sound echoed through the suite as you crept closer to what you assumed was a bedroom, where the noise seemed to originate. Another cry and you were through the door, standing over a thrashing Starscream. He whimpered in his sleep and rolled over in his berth, legs kicking out and fists clenching the sheets. You inched closer, servos outstretched as if to placate him. His whines turned to distinctive snarls and he curled in on himself, protecting his vitals. Your spark broke for him, broke for his pain, broke for everything he could never tell you. You reached out, chancing a touch to his shoulder. As an afterthought, you extended your EM field, attempting comfort.
Starscream’s helm snapped to the side and his optics flew open. His mouth gaped and closed again and you tried to ignore the tears in the corner of his eyes and the energon on his lips. He stared at you with blind optics.
“M-megatron. . . please,” he whined. “ Please .” He covered his face with shaking servos and tried to roll away, but your gentle servo kept him in place.
“Hey, hey listen to me,” you whispered, kneeling next to the berth. “Megatron is gone. He’s gone, you’re safe.” Starscream trembled and said nothing so you pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around him and comforting him as best you could. “I’m here for you, Starscream. I promise, okay?”
“You’ll leave.”
Your spark ached for all the suffering and loneliness that his voice was soaked in. How do you convince a mech who has never known trust and loyalty that you will never leave him, that you are more than a friend, that you would do anything for him, even if it meant laying down your life. Rather than speak, you settled for brushing his tears away with your thumbs.
_____ pov shift cuz like yeah i didn’t know how else to transition this_______
Starscream never expected to wake up to a familiar face and comforting hand, least of all from you. After all the time he spent making sure he didn’t allow his feelings for you to strengthen, here you are, holding him as if he was the most precious thing in the world. And what could he do but crumble.
So long, so long he spent giving Megatron his everything, and all he gets is the trauma and the nightmares, the physical and mental scars that will never heal. For millennia, Starscream devoted himself to someone who couldn’t care less, and the feelings you incited in him, the warmth and peace, they were so foreign that he fled from them. But you came anyway. What did that mean?
“Starscream?”
He looked up, meeting your gaze for a fleeting moment.
“What can I do?”
Helm tucked into your lap, he whispered, “Love me.”
“I already do.”
“Liar,” he hissed, voice bitter. He tried to untangle himself from you, but you kept him steady.
“I will never lie to you, Starscream,” you said. “Never. I love you, and no matter how much you try to hide or how much you struggle, I will always be here for you.” Your optics fell and it was his turn to hold your chin up. “I know it isn’t easy to love after what you’ve been through, and if you don’t want this I understand.”
Starscream never felt so warm, his spark throbbing with nothing but peace and fulfillment as he pulled you into a kiss. A kiss powerful enough to put both of your feelings into words, give them tangible meaning.