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Will wakes up covered in sweat, scream stuck in his throat. Winston sits next to the bed whimpering, paws up on the mattress.
"I'm okay, go lie down boy." Winston hesitates before moving back to his bed.
He's had the same nightmare twice now, antlers ripping his belly apart from the inside. Piercing his skin, blood pouring all over the floor.
Will tries and tries to fall back to sleep, eventually the sun shines in the windows and it's time to get up for the day.
--
The next time Will does scream, and scream and scream and it doesn't stop until his throat is raw and burning. He's sweating and shaking and Winston doesn't hesitate to climb on the bed and shove his cold, wet nose against Will's heated skin.
He doesn't try to placate Winston or the other curious eyes on him, he pulls Winston close and tries to calm himself down.
--
Each dream becomes more violent, more bloody, more terrifying. Will stops sleeping--until Jack scolds him for nearly passing out at a crime scene.
"You look like shit, Will. When was the last time you slept?"
Will lies, but Jack knows, of course he does--Will can barely form a coherent sentence at this point.
"Go home and get some sleep, son."
--
He tries to sleep, he truly does but the antlers bursting from his belly and the blood terrify him. Will has seen plenty of fucked up stuff, taken on the perspective of some of the worst serial killers but something about this felt different, it wasn't as if Will was seeing it through someone else's eyes, it was happening to him, over and over and over again.
--
Feathers litter the floor, drops of dark crimson surround them. Will recognizes the feathers and the blood--the ravenstag has returned.
Sharp, pointed antlers slowly push through his skin. The ravenstag is trying to kill him. It's never tried to kill him before, it's always led him--led him where?
--
Will bolts upright in bed, scream caught in his throat. He understands his dreams now.
But it can't be, he's not.. he can't possibly be..
He's never been the type to properly track his cycle but he knows his heat should be soon and then he'll know.
--
Will waits a week and his heat doesn't come--the nightmares never stop though.
Two weeks pass and still his heat does not come--he never thought he'd be someone who was looking forward to their heat.
After three weeks and more sleepless nights than his body can handle Will caves and finally leaves the house to buy a test.
He doesn't want to buy it, doesn't want to take it, doesn't want any of it to be real.
Will purchases the most expensive test possible--it has a digital display and will tell him approximately how far along he is.
He takes the test into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him so the dogs cannot follow like they normally do.
Peeing on the damned thing is the easy part, Will holds his breath the entire time he waits for the display to pop up.
Pregnant
3+ weeks
Will drops the test to the floor--his hands shake and he feels like throwing up.
He can't be.. the test has to be wrong.. he spent his heat alone.. but this clearly says he didn't.
The realization that the ravenstag represents Hannibal comes quickly. He doesn't remember spending his heat with Hannibal, and honestly he doesn't want to.
Hannibal is a monster, he framed Will, killed Abigail, sent Will to the BSHCI and acted like he did nothing wrong. Will wants nothing to do with him.. but maybe it's time he resumes his therapy and tries to find some answers.
He needs to talk to someone first though--he knows omegas have options in his situation but he's never really paid too much attention to the legalities of them.
--
Jack had called him in to help with a case, he'd been reluctant after Will almost passed out, but he needs Will's help, and as much as Will's not really feeling up to it, he goes. He wants to talk to Beverly anyway and he's been too afraid to call her.
Bev isn't an omega, but Will feels comfortable with her, she would never hurt him or judge him.
"Out with it, Graham. I know you've got something to say."
Will's cheeks flush, "I recently found something out and.." he can't bring himself to say it.
"You're knocked up." She says matter-of-factly.
"W-what!? No, I'm not." How could she know?
"I may not be an alpha that can smell it, but I know what to look for, you're not sleeping, you look about five seconds from throwing up, I can see how your belly is rounding out and through all the bad you've got that pregnancy glow."
"I don't want it." He says without thinking--anyone could hear.
She wraps an arm around Will and leads him around the corner and into an empty room forensic tech office--it's not hers but neither seem to care.
"Tell me what's going on, why don't you want the baby?"
"I-I just don't.. I can't have a baby."
"You don't have to do this alone, Will."
"I do, and I can't."
"Who's the father?"
Will hesitates--he knows but he's unsure if he should say.
"Don't you know?"
He does but.. he's afraid that saying it out loud will make it real.
"Were you attacked? Are you okay? Talk to me, Will."
"I don't know.. I don't remember my heat.. I know I have options.. but I don't know if I can do it alone."
"I'm here for you Will, I am. You don't have to do any of this alone."
"I-if I make an-an appointment will you come with me?"
"Yes. Believe it or not Will, I've had to make one of those appointments before, I know how difficult it is."
"But you.. I mean it's none of my business."
"It was college, I made a mistake, and I didn't want to jeopardize my career. It was a difficult decision, but ultimately one I do not regret. It wasn't the right time, and hell maybe there will never be a right time for me. Making that choice doesn't make you a bad person. I'm not an omega, I don't have the same instincts as you do, but if you're not ready now or ever, that's your decision and anyone who has anything to say about it can fuck off."
"I don't care about my instincts or what anyone thinks, this baby is a monster and I can't have it."
"A monster? Why do you say that?"
Will takes a deep breath, "It's Hannibal's." He whispers.
"What? You said you didn't remember."
"I don't, but I-I know it's his."
"I don't understand, how can you know if you don't remember?"
"When I was sick I hallucinated a ravenstag and every single time I followed it, it led me to him."
"How does that connect to the baby?"
"I've uh I've been have nightmares of being gored from the inside, antlers and blood and fucking feathers. I can barely sleep, it terrifies me, it--it has to be the baby.. the darkness inside it. It's just like him."
"Will, it's not-"
Why doesn't she believe him? "No, I can't keep it. Not knowing it's his."
"Okay, okay, calm down. You don't have to keep it, we can call and make you an appointment this afternoon and then we'll take the day off and go together."
"Thank you." Will feels stupid for getting angry and for the tears in his eyes.
Bev hugs him, tells him it's going to be okay and leads him to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
--
Will has been careful to avoid Hannibal, he's afraid Hannibal will know somehow and that he will manipulate Will into keeping it.
But nothing ever quite goes Will's way, the day after he talks to Bev, he literally runs into Hannibal turning a corner.
"Shit, I'm sor-" he starts to say until he realizes who he's run into and spilled coffee all over.
"It's quite alright, Will."
Will tries to walk away, he really does, but he can't seem to make his feet move. "I-I have to go."
"How have you been feeling, Will?"
Does he already know? How? "Fine." Will mumbles.
"Have you been sleeping?"
"No." There's no point in lying, Hannibal will know.
"Why not?"
"This isn't one of our conversations, I don't have to answer you. I'm sorry I spilled coffee all over your suit that probably costs more than my house, but I have to go." Will tries to leave but Hannibal catches his arm and doesn't let him.
"I know why you're having trouble sleeping, if you need help I'd be happy to join you."
"Excuse me? Join me?"
"A pregnant omega often sleeps better next to their mate."
"We are not mated and I am n-not pregnant. Now let go of me."
"There is no need to lie, Will. I could smell it on you as soon as I got close."
"I don't know what you're playing at, Dr. Lecter, but you need to let go of me now." He pulls his arm away from Hannibal.
"Will, please, I'll let you go. Promise me that you won't harm our child."
"Our child? No, monsters like you don't deserve to have children. It's my child and I'll decide what is done with them."
"Please, you can't harm them."
"You have no say in it." Will pushes past Hannibal, ignoring his pleas.
--
Will cannot stop thinking about what he said to Hannibal, my child, he'd said.
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
He's not seriously considering keeping the child.. he can't be. It's a monster like Hannibal, there's no way around that. There is a darkness inside the baby, one that is causing Will to have violent nightmares.
He cannot keep this baby.
--
Will manages a couple hours of sleep nightmare free. He wakes up to his alarm at seven thirty. He crawls out of bed, uses the toilet--doesn't vomit for once--lets the dogs out, puts fresh water and food out for them, he showers and brushes his teeth.
He was told not to eat or drink anything before his appointment--his stomach growls and Will places his hand on his soft, slightly bulging belly. He tells himself the motion means nothing, he's simply trying to appease his hunger., It has nothing to do with the baby.
--
Bev picks him up around eight forty-five. She doesn't say anything about the appointment or Will's clothes or the sound of his stomach growling loudly in the quiet of the car.
Will wants to scream and yell and tell her to just fucking say something other than trying to make small talk. He wants her to reassure him that his decision is okay.
Each second that passes he becomes less and less sure of it.
He doesn't want his child to be a monster, but with Hannibal's blood in their veins how could they not be? And Will's not a saint either, he gets into the mind of serial killers and often their dark impulses don't leave him even after the cases are closed and the murderers are caught or killed during apprehension.
His darkness mixed with Hannibal's can only ever equal more darkness.
Will's never wanted a child, not really--fleeting thoughts of what could be, but never has Will thought about going out and getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.
But what if this is his last chance? What if after this he can't get pregnant again? What if somehow this breaks him and his sperm is no longer viable?
ring
ring
ring
Will pulls his phone out of his pocket and answers it without even looking at the screen
"I have the next three days off Jack, this had better be important." Will all but growls into the phone.
But it's not Jack on the other end, Will almost wishes it was.
"Please do not hang up on me. I need to say something before you go to that appointment, please." Hannibal is practically begging.
"Why should I listen to a word you have to say?"
"Because I'm sorry."
Will certainly didn't expect that, nor does he believe him. He's angry and hurt and so very conflicted. "Sorry? You're sorry for taking advantage of me during my heat? Sorry for knocking me up and then having the audacity to try to tell me what I can or cannot do? Fuck you."
Bev stays silent, focusing on the road and not at all trying to hear who Will is talking to--to confirm that Hannibal is the baby daddy.
"I would never take advantage of you, you called me, you begged me, called me your alpha. I'm sorry I was naive. I'm sorry that you want nothing to do with me. But please, do not kill our child. If you don't want I am fully prepared to take them once they are born. You'll never have to see them, never have to be in their life. Please, Will."
"Begging isn't going to get you anywhere. I already told you monsters don't deserve to have children. This baby isn't yours, it's mine. I don't want it, but I would never give it to you."
"Will, please. Our child is innocent."
"Innocent? I've been having violent nightmares because of it, because of you. There is too much darkness. I can't."
"My darkness and your darkness combined does not define our child. You're only having nightmares because you think our child is sinister. They're not, they will be the most beautiful child, innocent and loving. If the darkness is nurtured then perhaps, but even that darkness can be beautiful. Will, please, do not harm our child."
"You keep saying our as if I haven't told you over and over that it is my child. You have no say in this. I'm hanging up now, don't call me again."
"I will not let you harm them."
Will hangs the phone up and shoves it into his pocket.
"Don't say a word about it, please. Let's just go inside."
--
"Can we just do this already?" They just keep asking him question after question, and they're explaining the same things over and over and Will just wants to be done.
He wants to go home and curl up with his dogs and cry--he's not sad about the baby, not really, but he's felt like crying since he woke up, maybe it's the hormones.
"We have to be sure that the decision you're making is what you want."
Is this really what he wants? The baby is a part of him, it's not just Hannibal's DNA, it's Will's too.
"I can't." Will pushes himself up off of the examination table and grabs his clothes off the chair. He doesn't care who sees him in the thin, uncomfortable open backed gown. He ducks into what he can clearly see is a bathroom and hastily puts his own clothes back on.
He finds Bev in the waiting room where he'd left her, grabs her hand and practically drags her out of the door just as his tears finally begin to fall.
"Will, what happened, what's going on?"
"Just take me home." He says through tears.
--
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Just leave me alone." Will wants to be alone. He's not even really sure what just happened.
"I'm not leaving you right now, Will."
"Go the fuck away." Will wants to be angry at her, but she's just concerned for him, she wants him to be okay. He's not though, or maybe he is.
"Will, I can't even begin to say I know how you're feeling right now but-"
"Stop, please, just go." He says through tears.
"Okay, okay, I'll go. But I'm going to call you later, if you don't answer, I'm coming back."
He nods, "I'll be fine."
She moves to hug him, he doesn't want to be touched but doesn't have the energy to push her away.
--
Why did he leave like that? Why couldn't he go through with it? What happened? Was it Hannibal's words? Will's own thoughts of the baby being part of himself as well?
He can't have a baby that is a monster, he just can't. But maybe Hannibal was right.. the baby is innocent despite the darkness inside of them.
Will places his hand on his belly, "You're not a monster, right? You're just my sweet little baby." He wants to believe that so badly.
--
ring
ring
ring
"See? I told you I'd be fine." Will expects it to be Bev when he answers, it's not.
"Is our child okay?"
"Fuck, you need to stop calling me. I told you that it is none of your business, it's not our baby, not yours, it's mine, and what I do is my decision."
"You didn't go through with it."
Will wants to hang up on Hannibal but he doesn't--something is stopping him. Instead he listens to Hannibal go on and on about how happy he is that Will didn't do it. How excited he is to have a child and so on and so on. Will listens but doesn't speak.
"Will?" He's been silent for a while now, Hannibal knows he hasn't hung up. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. I'm glad you're so happy.. I won't have to worry about you hurting me.. you wouldn't risk hurting my baby.. but that's just it Hannibal, this is my baby. You will have nothing to do with it. And if you try to take my child after they're born I'll go to Jack and tell him that you raped me and I'll give him all the evidence he needs to arrest you as the Chesapeake Ripper. I'm going tomorrow to change my number, don't try to contact me or come to my house or I'll have you arrested."
"I didn't rape you, I would never-"
"Don't lie to me. I cannot even remember a single second during my heat, you must've drugged me and then took advantage of me. I don't know if you thought that my doing so you could stop me from collecting evidence or if you thought I would fall in love with you and then that would stop me from helping Jack catch you.. whatever your plan was it didn't work." Will doesn't wait for a response, he hangs up and turns his phone off.
He will not let Hannibal near his child.
His baby isn't the monster, Hannibal is.
--
Will changes his phone number, tells Jack that so long as Hannibal is still considered an FBI consultant and he wants Hannibal's help with anything case related to keep Will out of it, he wants nothing to do with Hannibal any longer.
"And I'm three months pregnant."
He doesn't wait for Jack to say anything, Will walks straight out of his office and straight to his classroom.
--
He still occasionally has nightmares, but they're not the same.. he's not being gored from the inside, there's not buckets worth of blood and feathers everywhere.. instead he has nightmares of Hannibal coming for him and taking his daughter from him.
He hasn't had his appointment yet to find out his baby's sex but every dream or nightmare he has, his baby is a little girl. And she is so beautiful.
--
His students ask questions, some are harmless really, others are too personal and Will tries to ignore them.
"When are you due, Professor Graham?"
"Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?"
"Have you picked out a name?"
"Who's the father?"
"Why aren't you mated?"
"Are you secretly mated?"
"Do you have an alpha?"
"Did you go to a fertility clinic?"
"Are you going to raise the baby alone?"
"Are you still going to work for the FBI after you have the baby?"
Will's head aches every day after his classes are completed, but he never complains about it--he loves teaching, though some days he wonders why.
--
Thankfully he hasn't seen or heard from Hannibal since that day on the phone. He hasn't left Baltimore or anything, but he's steering clear of Will just like he was instructed--Will can't help but wonder when that will end.
--
At twenty-two weeks Will has an ultrasound and finds out that he is having a little girl. He cries for an hour straight, he's so happy.
He calls Bev and tells her right away, she cries happy tears with him.
--
His belly is definitely getting big and he struggles with clothes that fit--he doesn't care all that much about his appearance, but he doesn't want to look like a complete slob, and so he reluctantly goes shopping with Bev for maternity clothes--well that was the intention of the shopping trip, instead Will buys oversized sweaters and a few sizes bigger slacks, and tons and tons of onesies and outfits for baby girl.
--
He cleans out the bedroom and with Bev's help paints the walls a soft off-white color, with little pops of greens and pinks and light blues in the decor.
They put together her crib and changing table and wash and fold all of her teeny tiny clothes and put them away in the dresser and closet.
"You plan on staying in the living room?"
"It's a one bedroom and I'm not moving.. yeah. She deserves to have her own room, I've been out there with the dogs for years now, I'll be fine out there for years to come."
"You're stubborn."
"I don't want to move, I love it here."
"Stubborn, I hope it doesn't run in the family, otherwise she's going to be a little terror for you, are you sweetie?" She rubs Will's belly with both of her hands.
At first it had bothered Will, someone touching his belly, but he's gotten used to Bev's touches.
"She'll be a little angel." Will smiles and places his own hands on his belly when she starts to kick--he loves feeling her moving around in there.
--
At thirty-eight weeks Will wakes up just as the sun is starting to come up with the worst back pain he's ever experienced. He let's the dogs out, feeds and waters them and then climbs into a warm shower to soothe his aching back.
In the middle of his shower he starts to feel different, the pain changes slightly and suddenly a gush of fluid comes from between his legs. He momentarily thinks he's pissed all over himself when he notices the slight pink tinge--bloody amniotic fluid can't be good.
Will tries not to panic, he turns the water off, dries hastily, puts a postpartum pad into his underwear just in case there is more blood or amniotic fluid that leaks and gets himself dressed.
He grabs his own bag and the baby he's got packed for baby girl. He probably shouldn't try to drive himself but waiting for Bev to come get him doesn't sound like the best idea and he's certainly not calling for an ambulance.
--
He has to pull over twice on the way. His back is killing him and he's definitely started having regular contractions as well.
"We're almost there baby girl, please just stay in there a little bit longer." He pants through the pain.
--
"M-my water broke and there was bl-blood in it." He tells his doctor once she finally arrives.
He's scared and alone. He tries to call Bev, she said she would be there for him when the baby was born but she's not answering.
"It's going to be alright, Will." Dr. Flynn tells him, but he doesn't feel reassured.
He doesn't want to be alone, he feels like something or maybe someone is missing. He's not thinking about Hannibal, he doesn't want Hannibal there.
"Will, I know we've discussed your baby's other parent and why they're not here, but the complications you're experiencing right now are typically only seen in omega's who are laboring without their mate."
"I'm not mated."
"Will, in my thirty years as an OBGYN specializing in omega care I've only ever seen a mated omega laboring without their mate experience what you are."
"No one else has ever had blood in the amniotic fluid and high blood pressure and excruciating back pain and uncontrollable shivering? No one has ever experienced that before?"
"I've had plenty of patients with one of those symptoms at a time. I've only ever had mated omega's laboring alone experience all of them at once. Will, I was trying not to worry you but the blood in your amniotic fluid could be a sign that your placenta is separating from the uterine wall."
"What happens if it does?"
"You could hemorrhage."
"I could die you mean?"
"If we couldn't stop it, yes. But that's not all-"
"My baby could die?" He interrupts.
"I'm not going to sugar coat it, I'm sorry but it could become a save one or the other situation."
"But I'm not mated." He begins to cry, he doesn't want to die nor does he want his precious baby girl to die.
"You don't have a mating mark, but your body is reacting as if you are mated, sometimes an incomplete emotional bond can cause alpha and omega to behave like a mated pair."
"I'm not fucking bonded to anyone. Not fully, not incompletely." As he speaks a particularly painful contraction starts, he cries out in pain, gripping the hospital bed sheets beneath him.
Dr. Flynn has asked before but she asks again, "Will do you remember any part of what happened during your heat? Is it possible that an emotional bond was formed but not completed with mating bites?"
"No, no, he took advantage of me." As he says it it doesn't feel right, he still can't remember but Hannibal had said that Will called him, that Will begged him and called him alpha and that Hannibal had been naive. Maybe Will was wrong all along.
"I know during heat it can be hazy and difficult to know what's happening, I'm not trying to say that you're wrong or lying or anything, but Will I'm trying to keep you and your daughter safe."
"I don't know, maybe."
"Is there any way we can call him and get him here.. just to see if your symptoms improve?"
"I haven't seen him or talked to him in months, and I don't want to."
"Then the only other option is an emergency c-section. I cannot let you continue to labor with so many symptoms."
"No, I don't want that. I want to be able to hold her, I don't want that, please."
"Will, continuing labor without your bond mate, whether intentional or not, is dangerous. I don't want to put either of you at risk any more than you've already been."
He doesn't want to call Hannibal, he doesn't want him to be there and see their daughter born. "Okay, okay, I'll call him, just please promise me Dr. Flynn if it comes down to it, you save her not me."
"I'll do everything I can to keep you both safe. I'll give you some privacy while you make that phone call, I'll be back shortly."
He nods and picks his phone up, he doesn't have Hannibal's number saved any longer, not since getting a new phone but he still has it memorized.
ring
ring
ring
ring
ring
"You have reached 'Dr. Hannibal Lecter' please leave a message after the beep."
Fuck!
"Hannibal, please, please c-come to the hospital ri-right away." Will sobs.
Will rubs his belly, "Please be okay, baby girl, I'm sorry I ever thought you were a monster. I'm sorry I ever even thought about not having you. No matter what happens, baby girl, I love you so much."
Dr. Flynn comes back a few minutes later, "Is he coming?"
"He didn't answer."
"I'll go make arrangements for the O.R, I'm sorry Will but I cannot let you labor like this much longer."
Will cries harder, everything hurts and he's scared and he doesn't want to do this alone, he doesn't want to have surgery, he just wants to have his daughter and everything be okay.
There is sudden noise in the hallway outside his room, his door opens but it's not Dr. Flynn or one of his nurses, it's Hannibal--eyes burning alpha red and he looks like he's been crying. But there is no way he could know what is happened, no one he could've deduced it from the message Will left him, hell there's no way he could've gotten the message and made it to the hospital so quickly--it can't have been more than ten minutes, his home and office are both a minimum of twenty minutes away.
"Hannibal?" He whispers, disbelieving that he's actually here.
"I'm here, Will."
"You got my message?" Will asks.
"Message? No, I don't have my phone with me, in my haste I left it. I was in between appointments and something was telling me to come here."
"Just now?"
"No, I've been sitting in my car for a few hours now. I don't know how I knew but, I knew you were in here, and I know you don't want me here so I stayed outside. I just couldn't leave."
"Hours?" Will holds his belly as another contraction starts.
"Breathe, Will." Hannibal steps closer. "I knew you didn't want me here, but I needed to be here."
"I-I don't want you here, I don't want you to see my daughter, I don't want anything to do with you but.. but I need you here."
"What's wrong, Will? Are you alright?"
"No, no I'm not."
"I understand that you don't want me around, I've made my peace with that but please, tell me what's wrong."
"M-my body thinks I'm mated to you."
"And?"
"Don't act stupid, you're a doctor, you know mated omegas shouldn't labor alone or-or complications happen."
"What's happening to you?"
"Ny blood pressure is high, my back feels like it's fucking br-breaking, I'm shivering and there was blood."
"Blood?"
"In the amniotic fluid, fuck, it uh, it uh means my placenta could be separating from my uterus and I could bleed to death, ow, or my baby could die."
"If your body thinks we are mated your symptoms should be improving. You're not shivering now."
"But we're not mated, and you raped me."
"I didn't, I could never, would never assault you. Will I care about you too much to do that to you. You called me to your home, invited me into your nest and called me your alpha, I shouldn't have given in so easily but I thought you were lucid enough to consent. I'm so sorry." Hannibal steps even closer.
"I don't even remember any of it."
"You were so beautiful, you are so beautiful."
"Don't, don't try to sweet-talk me now." Another contraction hits and Will can't help but whimper from the pain.
Hannibal tries to touch Will's hand, Will smacks his hand away, "Don't touch me. You're a monster, I've worried for months now that my baby is going to be a monster like you. I don't want you here, but if you being here helps keep my daughter safe then you'll stay. But do not touch me."
"Physical contact from your alpha can help ease the pain."
"I said don't touch me."
"I'm only trying to help you."
"If you being here helps that's great but that doesn't involve you, oh fuck ow, doesn't involve you touching me." His back doesn't hurt as bad anymore, he doesn't feel quite so dizzy and he isn't shivering, so maybe Hannibal being here is helping. But Will still doesn't want Hannibal touching him.
Dr. Flynn re-enters the room, "Oh, who're you?"
“Dr. Hannibal Lecter, the baby’s father.”
“Sperm donor.” Will mumbles.
Dr. Flynn hums and begins checking Will’s vitals, “Are you feeling any better now that he’s here?”
“I mean, my back does feel a little better, and I’m not shivering anymore. But he’s not my mate, I don’t want him here.”
“If your symptoms are improving then I think it’s best he stays. I know you don’t want him here, I know you don’t get along, but he’s helping, helping your daughter.”
“I know, I know, I don’t want to put her at risk, he can stay as long as his presence is helping, but if that changes before she’s born, I want him gone. And he’s not allowed to touch her once she’s born.”
“That’s fine, she is your daughter. You can decide what is best for her after she’s born.” Will hadn’t expected Hannibal to agree so easily.
“Thank you.”
--
Will's labor progresses quickly and easily after Hannibal arrives. His blood pressure levels out and there are no signs of fetal distress. His contractions intensify and come faster and faster. Before Will even realizes it Dr. Flynn tells him it's time to start pushing.
Will thought contractions hurt, pushing a baby out hurts even worse.
In the end it's more than worth it--he barely remembers the pain once he sees his little girl's face.
Hannibal actually respects his wishes and averts his gaze,
Will doesn’t care what is going on around him though, he is too focused on his baby.
She is so precious, Will immediately notices that she looks like Hannibal--he wants to be angry about that, but Hannibal is a beautiful man, and despite their circumstances that fact does make him happy.
--
After her birth Hannibal doesn’t leave, he lingers in the corner of the room--he doesn’t try to look at her, nor speak to her or Will for that matter. He just stands still and silent.
Will wants to tell him to leave..but he doesn’t. He may be angry and not want Hannibal to have anything to do with his daughter, he knows that an alpha’s instincts will draw him to his child, he could leave, in theory, but he wouldn’t be able to go far. His alpha would be pulling him back to the hospital. He knows it would be cruel to send Hannibal away now--but Hannibal was cruel to him.
Hannibal took advantage of him when he was in heat, Hannibal framed him and had him locked up in the BSHCI--he did get Will released, and he swears he didn’t take advantage of Will. He’s never seemed like a sexual predator.. maybe Will did jump to conclusions.. he’s lost time before, maybe he did lose time turing his heat, maybe he did call Hannibal.
Will looks down at his daughter’s squishy, pink face and feels like the worst person ever. He thought his daughter was a monster, he wanted to get rid of her. Tears flow down his cheeks as he sobs silently. “I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry.” He murmurs.
“What are you apologizing for?” The first words Hannibal has spoken in hours, are soft and inquiring.
“You wanted to keep her safe, you begged me not to harm her and I made that appointment anyway. I thought she was a monster, I thought that I couldn’t--shouldn’t have her. I don’t deserve her.”
“No, Will, you didn’t go through with it, you didn’t harm her. You love her and will cherish every moment with her. You may have been hesitant in the beginning, but you realized your error, you didn’t harm her, you didn’t get rid of her. You nourished her, grew her in your belly and now you’ve given birth to her--brought her into the world. Never think that you do not deserve her.”
“I’ve never loved someone as much as I love her.”
“I know you do not want me involved in her life and I will not try to take her from you. I’ve been a horrible person, I don’t deserve to have her in my life. But I will forever love her, though I’ve never looked at her face, nor will I know her name, I will always carry her in my heart. Anything that you need for yourself or her, I will provide if you will allow me to.”
“Hannibal,” Will starts.
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but Will, I need you to know how incredibly sorry I am for everything. For framing you and leaving you locked up for so long. I’m sorry for not telling you about the encephalitis, for letting you suffer for so long because I was curious. I’m sorry for not realizing just how out of it you were during your heat. But most importantly I am sorry for taking Abigail from you. I knew you wanted a family, and I gave you a daughter and then took her away. I swear to you I will not make the same mistake. You needn’t worry for her safety.”
“Addison.”
“What?”
“Her name is Addison.. Addie.” Will watches as Hannibal’s eyes fill with tears.
“A beautiful name.”
“For a beautiful little girl. A tribute to Abigail, as well.”
“I’m sorry.” Hannibal whispers, again.
“Do you want to hold her?”
“More than anything, but she isn’t mine, I don’t deserve to.”
“You’ve been nothing but supportive and loving about her. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I don’t remember my heat, but that doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong. When I started having the nightmares, I thought that she was a monster because of the antlers and the feathers and the blood, but she isn’t a monster. And while you’ve done many monstrous things, I don’t see you as a monster, Hannibal. I realize now that she was presenting herself to me as the ravenstag because that was something I always associated with you and not always negatively. The ravenstag is beautiful, and powerful, and so are you. You do deserve her, I don’t deserve either of you.”
Hannibal’s gaze drops to Addie in Will’s arms, “Graži.” He whispers.
“Please hold her.”
Hannibal hesitates for a moment, before carefully taking her from Will’s arms.
“Hello, little one. I’m so happy to finally meet you.”
“Hannibal?”
“What?” His eyes never leave Addie’s face.
“I want you in her life, I want her to have a daddy, and I,” He pauses, unsure if he should finish.
“And what, Will?”
“If you don’t hate me, I would like to in a sense start over. I’ve had feelings for you for a very long time, they terrify me because they stuck around even when you did so many horrible things to me. But, if you are amenable, I’d like for us to be a family.”
“I don’t doubt you for even a second, if you didn’t have feelings for me, and I for you, the incomplete emotional bond wouldn’t have formed. I love you, Will and I would like nothing more than for us to be a family.”
“I’m not saying we rush our relationship, we let it happen organically. We don’t immediately complete the bond, we work on communication and understanding and we take care of our daughter. Whatever happens between us, happens. We don’t force anything.”
“Our daughter?”
“She’s half of you and half of me. I’m sorry I ever said she wasn’t yours.”
“You truly want us to be a family together? You want us to have a relationship?”
“I do, yes, I want you and Addie so badly.”
--
When Will’s heat returns six and a half weeks after giving birth to Addie, he goes to his home in Wolf Trap and leaves Hannibal and Addie in Baltimore. He spends his heat with his dogs as protection and a few knotting toys.
They’d thoroughly discussed how his heat would be handled before it happened, Will had frozen as much breast milk as he could to ensure Hannibal would have enough to keep Addie well fed for the few days Will would be gone.
If he called Hannibal and begged for him to come to him, Hannibal would not. He would stay on the phone and talk Will through knotting himself and then he would hang up and tend to Addie.
Will took some of Hannibal’s clothes with him--they were from the hamper and reeking of Hannibal’s alpha scent.
His second heat was handled the same way.
His third however, nearly eight months after giving birth was spent with Hannibal.
Will wasn’t on suppressants or birth control, something they had discussed over and over again. Hannibal did not go out and buy specially made alpha condoms. They had decided that whatever happened, happened. Both would be beyond happy to give Addie a sibling, but if it didn’t happen, they wouldn’t be disappointed.
Easier said than done for Will, when his heat came two months later, he tried not to cry over the fact that he hadn’t conceived, he still felt as if he failed.
--
Addie’s first birthday was less than a month away--they were planning an extravagant party.
Life was happy--Will was vaguely aware that his heat would be coming soon, but he tried not dwell on thoughts of what if.
--
Will nearly jumped out of bed, scream stuck in his throat, sweat covering his body.
“Will? My love, are you alright?”
“Oh, fuck. I’m fine, I’ll be fine. I have to go to the bathroom.” He didn’t wait for Hannibal to say anything else.
Will practically ran into their bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
He pulled the test out of the drawer and took it hastily, as he waited for it to come up, he couldn’t help but think about the dream he’d just had.
Antlers and blood and feathers piercing him from the inside out.
Will placed a hand on his lower belly as he waited, wondering if his dream meant the same as the first time he’d had it.
He picked the test up from the counter,
Pregnant
3+ weeks
His dream was the same, he is pregnant again.
He pulls open the bathroom door quickly, flooding their bedroom with bright light, he doesn't care if it was three am or if Hannibal had just fallen back to sleep, Will has to tell him.
“Hannibal, Hannibal wake up.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing is wrong, look.” He holds the test out for Hannibal to see.
Will watches as Hannibal’s expression rapidly changes from sleepy and concerned to wide awake and excited.
“You’re pregnant? Oh Will.” His hand covers Will’s belly. “I thought I had noticed a change in your scent, but I attributed it to your coming heat, oh how wrong I was. My love, we’re having another baby. Addie is going to be a big sister.” He kisses Will before Will can respond to anything he’s even said.