now, look at where we are

by trouvailleamor

Summary:

"You want to see something funny? Go visit John Bender in five years."

The breakfast club five, then ten years in the future.

Notes:

Where are the members of the breakfast club five years in the future?

Chapter 1: 1989

The first thing Claire sees when she opens her eyes is the empty space next to her. The sun is shining through the crack between the windowsill and the shade, so she knows it’s still morning, but her alarm hasn’t gone off yet. She rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling.

She doesn’t know how he can sneak out every morning. Every time she has to wake up before him, she manages to wake him up. She almost wishes he would wake her up, just so she could say goodbye.

She pushes herself up on her arms and looks over at the clock. It’s quarter to seven, fifteen minutes before her alarms set to go off. Claire kicks off the sheets and places her feet on the floor. Her vision goes a little blurry and she leans forward.

She hasn’t been feeling well for the past week, her vision going blurry and frequently feeling nauseated. She’s been exhausted too, taking a nap whenever she’s not working. John thinks that she has the flu, but she disagrees. They sleep beside each other every night so she’s sure that if it was the flu, he would have it too.

John is usually out of the house by the time Claire has to get ready for work, but on Fridays, Claire goes into the work before the sun even starts the rise. She’s vying for the head of sales position and volunteered to help her boss open on their busiest day.

She leans down further and rests her forehead on her knees as her stomach lurches again. It can’t continue like this, Claire thinks as she takes a deep breath through her nose. She’s working full time, but she’s also going to graduate school to further her business degree. Claire doesn’t have time to be sick, especially not right now.

Claire launched directly into grad school after finishing her degree at Northwestern. She picked a school that was closer to home so she could finally move in with John. Her parents, especially her dad, had a major problem with it and still refuse to visit their apartment, but Claire knows she made the right decision.

Long distance was hard and it got a lot harder her junior and senior year. John had just finished his two year trade school residency and began working full-time as a mechanic. He could no longer visit and they could only talk on the phone the rare night he had off. Claire didn’t think it was possible to miss someone so much it hurt, but those years, she held the loss of him in her chest.

She missed her friends too, so as soon as she graduated from Northwestern, she moved back home to Shermer to be near John and the others. Well, everyone except for Allison.

When Claire lifts her head a touch, she feels bile climb up her throat. She rushes as fast as she can into their bathroom and is puking into the toilet before she can even process what’s happening.

Even though she’s been nauseous for about a week, she hasn’t actually thrown up until now. She wipes her mouth on the back of her hand and reaches up to flush the toilet. Standing up on shaky legs, Claire leans over and twists the shower faucet on.

The warm water makes her feel more alive, but she’s still nauseous. When she gags again, she reluctantly makes the decision that she can’t go to work like this. She’d be useless to her boss and she doesn’t need him holding anything against her, not when she’s trying to get the promotion.

She really doesn’t want to miss work, but when she pukes again in the shower, she comes to terms with the fact that once she’s done, she’s calling out of work for the first time since she got the job.

~~
Claire is sitting on the couch in their living room, drinking a cup of hot cocoa and watching afternoon soap operas when there’s a sharp knock at her door. Claire places the hot cup on the table and walks towards the door, wrapping her sweater around her body. The heat is on full blast, but the apartment is cold in the January weather.

She looks in the peephole and when she sees who it is, she unlatches the chain and pulls the door open.

“Hey,” she says, stepping aside to let Andy in.

“Hey,” Andy says. “I was going to drop off my suit for Bender but I saw that your car was still out front. I thought you were supposed to be at work?”

“I am,” Claire says, shutting the door behind him and taking the hanger from Andy’s hand. John has an interview with a new garage for a better position. He hasn’t worn a suit since their graduation, so Andy offered to let him borrow the one he has.

Andy is also in school still, but he’s studying law. He discovered after taking his prerequisites that he’s good at it and enjoys it, so he applied to law school as soon as he graduated. He’s got fancy clothes for every occasion and he’s the reason that her boyfriend refuses to buy button up shirts. He always says he can borrow one from Andy’s closet, which is what brought her friend to their apartment today.

“Thanks for this,” she says, laying it out on a dining room chair before leading Andy into the living room.

“Did Claire Standish actually take a day off of work? I can barely believe my eyes,” he says, smiling as he sits on the end of the couch.

Claire sits down where she was before, a cushion in between them. “Not of my free will,” Claire says. “I haven’t been feeling well lately.”

“I’m sorry,” Andy says. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been incredibly nauseous for days but I puked in the shower this morning,” she says. “I’m kind of dizzy too. Sorry if I’ve infected you.” She lets out a laugh, but he just looks at her blankly.

“Is Bender sick too?” Andy asks. Claire has no idea why he looks so serious, but she just shakes her head.

“No, he’s fine. Maybe it’s something I ate,” she says, although she doesn’t believe it. It’s lasted too long for it to be food poisoning.

“Or you’re pregnant,” Andy says, and Claire is glad that she never picked her hot cocoa back up because she certainly would have dropped it.

“That’s funny,” Claire says, but Andy’s not laughing.

“I’m being serious,” Andy says. “It may be nothing, but Christina had a scare last month and the doctor asked if she was experiencing those same symptoms.”

“Christina thought she was pregnant?” Claire asks. Claire doesn’t know Andy’s girlfriend very well and she also can’t imagine Andy having a child with her. She may be biased, though.

Andy lets out a shaky breath. “Yeah,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “Scariest day of my life.”

“I can imagine,” she says, furrowing her brow. She honestly never thought that her symptoms could be pregnancy related, mostly because she’s on birth control. She’s sure she isn’t, but Andy’s planted a seed in her head and she knows she won’t be able to stop thinking about it until she checks.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Andy assures her, patting her leg carefully. “But if you think it’s possible, go get a test.”

Claire doesn’t think it’s possible. But now that she thinks about it, it’s possible that she was so overworked and frazzled she forgot to take it a day…

“Well Andy, this has been entirely stressful. I think I need to go buy a test now just to calm my nerves, so I’m kicking you out.”

Andy laughs before standing up. Claire walks out with him, pulling her boots and her jacket on and grabbing her keys. As he pulls away, she sits in her car and twists the keys into the ignition.

She turns the heat up so it’s blasting.

~~
When Bender parks in his parking spot outside of his apartment, he notices that he has a streak of grease across his forehead. As he looks at himself in the rearview mirror, he also notices that he looks incredibly tired. Only two more days until the weekend. He can make it until then. Especially since him and Claire have a hotel reservation in Chicago for Saturday night. It’ll be nice to get away.

He walks up the stairs to their apartment and opens the door. He shuts it behind him and toes off his boots. The first thing he sees is Claire asleep on the couch, bundled up in blankets. Bender smiles softly at the sight and he would go over and kiss her, but he’s covered in car grease and knows that she’d berate him if he got her dirty.

He walks into their room and pulls off his flannel. He tosses it in the hamper, the same one that Claire bought him for his first apartment. He misses that place, his first real home, but it was too big for just him when Allison left.

Bender sees that the bed is still unmade, which is unusual. Claire makes their bed almost every morning, the only exception being Fridays. He wonders if she’s feeling alright and decides that he’s going to make her favorite dinner tonight if they have the ingredients.

Bender’s soft for this girl, he always has been. Lately though, it’s been more overpowering. Ever since he bought the ring, he’s been feeling more and more like he wants to give her the world.

He pulls off his shirt and heads into the bathroom. He’s about to turn the water on when something in the trashcan catches his eye. His first thought is a question: Why is there a small chemistry set in the trash?. His brain catches up to him and he realizes what it is - a pregnancy test.

He feels the blood rush down to his feet. He doesn’t remember doing it, but he ends up back in the living room, shirtless and holding a piece of paper. Claire blinks awake and squints at him.

“Hi,” she says, stretching her arms above her head and sitting up.

“Was it positive?” He asks, not even thinking.

Claire blinks up at him and then notices he’s holding the instruction manual for the pregnancy test he found in the trashcan. Then, she suddenly looks like she’s on the verge of tears.

“I was going to tell you. You didn’t have to dig through the trash.”

“Tell me what?”

She visibly swallows and Bender can see that she’s shaking. “It was positive.”

Just like that, all thoughts leave Bender’s head. It takes him a few seconds for it to sink in that positive means pregnant. Claire’s pregnant.. It takes another few seconds for him to realize that the kid is his and that he’s going to be a dad. He doesn’t register that Claire is standing in front of him and has her hand on his cheek until she’s pulling it away.

“John, please say something. Let me know that this is okay,” she whispers and he tries, but his throat doesn’t cooperate.

He feels pulled out of himself, like he’s not in control of his body anymore. The only thought in his head, on a loop, is I can’t be a father.

He doesn’t realize that Claire has left until the front door of their apartment slams shut.

~~
Brian is sitting at his computer when he hears the doorbell ring. He trips over a box as he makes his way to the door. His entire apartment, the main floor of a duplex, is completely packed up. He’s moving next week and the only things that aren’t packed are his computer and the sheets on the mattress upstairs.

He isn’t sure exactly who he expected it to be and for what reason, but he definitely wasn’t expecting a tear-stained Claire. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t need to, and just ushers her inside. Once he gets her sitting, on his bed because everything else is packed, she lets out a sob and lets her head drop to her hands.

Brian first wants to ask if someone died, but thinks better of it and instead says “Is it Bender?”

When she sobs harder, Brian gets his answer. He has to force himself not to roll his eyes. Claire and Bender are soulmates, he’s never been more sure of anything, but Brian feels like he has to stop Claire from having an insecurity-driven meltdown over the boy often. Claire’s his best friend, so he doesn’t mind talking her through things, but he’s beginning to feel like they have the same conversation at least once a year.

He doesn’t think Claire will feel confident in her relationship until Bender proposes, which thankfully will be soon. But Brian can’t blame her, the love from her parents is purely conditional. Brian knows that she really has nothing to worry about because Bender is completely devoted to her.

“Claire, what’s wrong?” Brian asks, rubbing a supportive hand on her back.

“God Brian, I really fucked up this time,” Claire says, hands muffling her speech.

Brian’s heard her say that before, but she really was his rock during his last break up so he keeps his patience. “I’m sure it’s not that bad,” he says. Brian talked to Bender a few days ago and he told him he was planing on proposing over the weekend. Brian can’t imagine anything could derail that plan.

“I’m pregnant,” Claire says and she dissolves into another fit of sobs. Brian’s stunned silent. He certainly wasn’t expecting that.

“Holy shit,” he says, unhelpfully.

“Oh God, Brian. He’s going to leave me. You should have seen his face.”

Brian can imagine. Bender’s got so much baggage when it comes to parents and he can see him shutting down because of something unexpected like this. However, as well as Brian knows Claire, he also knows Bender.

“Claire, he’s not going to dump you. Trust me on this.”

Claire probably doesn’t believe him, but she leans her head on his shoulder. Brian reaches up and pats her curls, trying to comfort her the best he can. Claire may not realize, she probably isn’t able to think clearly, but Bender would never abandon his child. Never. And he definitely wouldn’t abandon her.

They sit like that for a while, Claire’s tears soaking through Brian’s shirt. Brian is beginning to think that they’re going to be sitting here all day when his phone rings. His bedside table is packed, so it’s sitting on the floor. Claire moves her head off of him so he can reach over and pick the phone up.

Brian doesn’t even get out a hello before Bender is talking in his ear. “Bri? Have you seen Claire? I’ve called Andy and Patrick but they haven’t seen her.”

“She’s here, Bender,” he says, looking at Claire. “She’s alright.”

Bender lets out a deep sigh. “Thank God. She just took off.” The worry in his voice is palpable.

“She’s alright,” he repeats.

“Can you send her ask her to come home? We gotta talk,” Bender says, and Brian can picture him running his hands through his hair. “I’m assuming you know about what.”

“Uh, yeah. It may have come up,” Brian says, rubbing Claire back while she stares blankly at the wall in front of them.

“Fuck,” he says. “If she’s alright to drive, can you please ask her to come back?”

“Yeah, man. I will,” he says and he hears the click on the other end. Brian hangs the phone up and hugs Claire tight.

“I’m assuming that was my boyfriend,” Claire sniffles.

Brian lets her go. “Claire, go home.”

Claire looks up at him, eyes red, and she nods.

~~
Bender only stops fidgeting when Claire walks through the front door and stands in front of him. She’s been crying, her eyes are puffy and red, and she is holding her hands together behind her back. Bender knows that he didn’t react well before, he was in shock, but he plans to fix it now.

“Come sit,” he says, patting on the cushion next to him. She walks over slowly and sinks into the couch, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry,” he says.

“Sorry about what?” She says, avoiding his eyes.

“For how I reacted earlier,” Bender says. “Although, to be fair Sweets, you did leave it in the trash for me to find.”

Claire lifts her chin up indignantly. “If I was thinking clearly, I wouldn’t have left it there.”

Bender sighs, then reaches over and takes her hand. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. He figures that whatever he says won’t be the right thing, but he needs to say something. Rubbing her fingers back and forth with his thumb, he lets out another sigh.

“Do you want to keep it?” Bender asks and Claire nods vigorously.

“Yes,” she says. “I want it.”

He’s secretly relieved. He doesn’t know why, because he doesn’t feel ready, but it feels right because it’s happening with Claire. If it were anyone else, he would feel completely hopeless. Claire has become the person he plans his life around, and now she’s having his kid.

“I was going to ask you to marry me, you know.”

Claire hums neutrally, still not looking at him. “Was?”

“Well, yeah,” he says. “If I did it now, it would seem like a shotgun sort of situation.”

Claire smiles softly. “John Bender getting married? That’s pretty much an oxymoron.”

Bender has known for as long as they’ve been together that Claire is one of those people who idealizes marriage. She wants the traditional life and she always has, one person to stay with for the rest of her life. He also knows that Claire is surprised that he’s stayed around this long, given how much he craved the opposite when they first met that day in detention.

Claire trusts him now, he knows she does. But having a kid with your high school sweetheart at the age of 22 has never been the plan, especially since they haven’t even made it to their 5 year anniversary yet, and he can tell that she’s expecting him to bolt.

“Do you think we’ll be good parents?” Bender asks, squeezing her fingers. John has thought a lot about the type of parent he’d be, especially given the way he was brought up. His mother left and his dad beat him. He doesn’t want to fuck a kid up the way his parents did.

“I don’t know,” Claire whispers, “but I think we’ve got a pretty good idea of what not to do.”

Bender lets out a low laugh. “True enough,” he says. He watches his girlfriend as she pretends not to notice he’s doing it. She looks tired, like today physically sucked the life out of her. He can tell that she’s scared, and he is too, but he supposes it’s more real for her right now. The theoretical implications have hit him, but reality seems so far away. “Come on,” he says, “let’s go to bed.”

Claire’s lying on her side in their bed, facing away from him. He’s lying on his back, shirtless and restless. They aren’t touching and Claire’s pretending that she’s asleep, but her breathing is shallow. John reaches over and lightly traces a finger over her shoulder blade.

After a moment, he asks, “Would you have said yes?”

She’s quiet, and at first John thinks she’s going to pretend she didn’t hear him, but she inhales deeply and says, “Yes.”

He rolls over and wraps an arm around her middle. He pulls her closer and presses a soft kiss to the back of her neck. “I love you, you know,” he mumbles into her hair. He doesn’t say it often enough, but in this moment he needs her to hear it, to know it.

Claire twists herself in his arms so they’re nose to nose, his arm still draped over her side. “Are we really going to do this?” She whispers. “Can we do this?”

John leans in and presses a light kiss to her lips. “Yes, I think so,” he says simply.

She reaches up and tangles her fingers in his hair. It’s shorter now and there’s less for her to latch on to. “I love you too,” she says.

Bender kisses her again, harder this time. Somewhere between pressing against her lips and pulling away, John’s brain makes a decision for him. “Marry me,” he whispers, their lips touching as he says the words.

“Don’t,” Claire says, pulling back, “don’t do it like this.”

Bender only smiles. “The ring is at Andy’s apartment. I didn’t want to leave it here because I knew you’d find it. I was planning on asking you this weekend in Chicago. I can get down on my knee tomorrow, if that’s what you want.”

Claire opens her mouth and then promptly shuts it. She opens it again and manages to say, “Are you being serious?”

“Of course I’m being serious,” he says. “I’m not that cruel.”

“But,” she says, and Bender manages to hold in the sigh that threatens to come out. He didn’t realize it would take so much effort to convince her. “You don’t want to get married.”

Bender can’t remember if he’s ever said that out loud, but he’s pretty sure that Claire has filled this detail in her mind subconsciously. Sure, his parents weren’t happily married and his mom left, but it wasn’t marriage itself that was the problem. Maybe Claire got the impression that he was against marriage in detention, back she he was only considering girls and not dating them. But they’ve been together for almost five years and John honestly thought that Claire knew that he wasn’t going anywhere.

And what does she expect? That he’s going to leave her to raise their kid alone? That he’s going to stand by while she meets and marries some other guy to raise his kid with? That he’s just going to leave her like she means nothing?

“I want to get married to you,” he says. “When I bought the ring, I didn’t realize it would take this much convincing.”

Claire looks straight into his eyes and he lets her. They’ve been together for so long that they can read each other, they can know what the other person is thinking without ever speaking it out loud. Whatever she sees there must satisfy her because she leans forward and kisses him again, soft and slow.

“Okay,” Claire says and Bender can’t help the smile that takes over his face. “Let’s do this.”

~~
Claire wakes up the next morning much like she did the morning before, except that instead being alone, Bender is still there and his arms are still wrapped around her. He must have taken the day off. It takes her a few seconds to remember the events of yesterday, and when she does, she feels a tickle of anxiety but also a hint of excitement.

It’s too early, they’re not married, and it doesn’t exactly fit into her plan, but she’s having a baby and she’s having it with her boyfriend. Her fiance, she corrects herself when she remembers the informal proposal.

She rubs her hand up and down his arm and he buries his head deeper into her hair. Smiling softly, she turns and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. Careful not to wake him, she slips out of his arms. She grabs his t-shirt off the floor and pulls it over her head, then walks out into the kitchen, closing the bedroom door behind her.

She grabs the phone off the wall and dials the number from memory. It’s early, but Claire knows she’ll be up. She doesn’t sleep much, even now. It rings twice before the phone clicks.

“Hello?”

“Allison,” Claire says. “I’ve got news.”

~~
Brian sits at Claire and Bender’s kitchen table, watching Bender chop vegetables. If Brian from high school was transported here he probably wouldn’t believe his eyes, but Bender discovered after school that he really enjoyed cooking.

It’s almost the fifth anniversary of their friend group and Brian has been thrown into the world of wedding planning. Claire keeps calling him with ideas and Brian listens because he knows she’s missing talking about girl things with Allison. They still talk to her, but not often enough.

Claire has never really clicked with Andy’s new girlfriend Christina, and if Brian’s being honest, neither has he. She’s nice enough, but she’s not Allison. So, Brian listens to Claire’s rants about flower arrangements and offers support when needed.

“How was your date?” Bender asks as he transfers the cut vegetables into a pan.

Brian groans. “It was fine. I don’t think she’ll call again, though.”

“No?” Bender asks.

“I’m fine with it,” he says. “She wasn’t really my type anyway.”

“That’s too bad,” Bender says. “Too bad things didn’t work out with Greg. I liked him.”

Brian rolls his eyes again. Discovering he was bisexual in college was scary and he was almost completely sure that his friends back home would have trouble understanding it. He was wrong, Bender calling him “Big Bi Bri” on occasion and the others being as supportive as they could be. Claire had him talk with her brother, which was an incredibly awkward conversation but a necessary one.

Brian has double the options for dating and he somehow has still ended up as the fifth wheel. “Well, he didn’t like me in the end.”

“Sorry, Bri,” Bender says, pouring olive oil on the vegetables and taking it over to the stove.

“It’s fine,” he says. “Allie called me yesterday.”

Bender nods slowly, flicking the stove top on. “That’s nice. We haven’t heard from her in a while.”

Brian stares at the back of his head. His hair is shorter now, cutting it after he complained about it getting in the way when he was working. “I miss her.”

“I do too,” Bender says, giving the vegetables in the pan a stir.

“Do you think she’ll ever come back?”

“I don’t know,” Bender says. “I don’t know what she could say to make it better.”

Not for the first time, Brian’s heart breaks for Andy. He has Christina now, and it’s better, but it isn’t perfect. It never will be.

~~
When Claire gets home, her ankles are swollen and she’s absolutely exhausted. Her day at work felt like it dragged on forever. She pushes into her apartment and instantly smells Bender’s cooking. Brian’s at the table and he smiles at her.

“Hey,” Claire says, dropping her purse on the ground. She has just started to show but she can still hide it if she dresses in baggy clothes. She walks up behind Bender, who’s cooking on the stovetop, and presses a kiss to his cheek.

“Hey,’ Bender says. “Go sit down.”

Claire wants to roll her eyes because Bender has been overprotective and extra caring since she found out she was pregnant and especially since she started showing. She doesn’t though, because she really is tired. She pulls out the chair next to Brian and sinks into it.

“How was work?” Brian asks.

“Long,” she says. In the couple of months since she found out she was pregnant, she’d been promoted to head of sales. Her hours are longer and she has more responsibilities, but she loves what she’s doing. “Is Andy on his way?”

“That’s what he said when I called him,” Brian says.

“Bri, wanna get the plates out?” Bender asks over his shoulder. While Brian sets the table, there’s a knock at the door.

Claire moves, slowly but methodically, towards the door. When she works long shifts on her feet all day, she has trouble moving around. She pulls the door open and sees Andy standing there, holding a case of beers.

“Hey,” he says, side hugging Claire as he walks in. He’s wearing a dress shirt and tie, likely coming from his desk job. He’s working while going through school like Claire is and he’s halfway through his accelerated law program.

When Andy was applying to schools, Bender joked that he was picking accelerated programs so he could get out of of Illinois as fast as he could. When Andy didn’t deny it, the joke got a lot less funny. Claire knows that it’s irrational for her to hope that her friends will always be nearby, but after Allison left so unexpectedly, she gets anxious whenever anyone else in their group mentions moving away. She’s not stupid either; she knows that the reason Andy wants to leave is Allison.

“Hey,” she says, following him into the kitchen.

“Hey, Sporto,” Bender says as he serves the meal. “Take a seat.”

They try to do group dinners as often as they can, especially now that Claire is pregnant. Once she has the baby, they become real adults. Claire feels sometimes like they’re still clinging to their high school days.

They eat and chat, mostly about work. Brian moved right after Claire found out she was pregnant and he lives closer to the city now. He’s starting a new job soon, something in computers that Claire doesn’t understand at all. Claire talks about her new position, doing sales commissions for the beauty company she works for. She has dreams of starting her own line of beauty products someday, but for now, she’s happy doing what she’s doing.

Claire is about to go for a second serving when the phone rings in the kitchen. She makes quick eye contact with Bender and she sees her thoughts reflected on her face. The only people who call them are their bosses, her parents, and occasionally Laurie, but it’s too late to hear from work, her mother called her earlier, and Laurie is out of town.

Claire picks up the phone and says, “Hello?”

“Hey, Claire,” a voice says and Claire meets Bender’s eyes again. It’s Allison and Andy doesn’t know that they’re still in contact with her. “Is this a good time?”

“Actually, we’re eating dinner with Brian and Andy right now. Can I call you back?” She tries to keep her voice low and she can hear Bender talking louder than normal.

“Oh, yeah,” Allison says and she clears her throat. “How… Um, how are they?”

“They’re good,” she says. She wonders why she’s asking now when she never has before. In fact, in the two and a half years since Allison left, she’s never once asked about Andy. “Listen, I’ll call you later. Okay?”

“I’m actually not home right now, so you won’t be able to reach me,” Allison says. “I’ll call you soon.”

“Okay,” Claire says. She’s learned not to question the things Allison says anymore. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

Allison hangs the phone up with a click and Claire does the same. When she rejoins the table, Bender is telling an animated story about the new trainee at his garage. She’s taking a sip of water when Andy leans over.

“Was that Laurie?” Andy asks. He’s just as surprised as she is that her and Laurie remained friends after graduation. They lost touch for a bit during college but both ended up in Shermer after they graduated. She’s moved away near the city now, but they still talk regularly.

Claire doesn’t know why she doesn’t just lie, but she finds that she can’t. “No. She’s on a business trip actually.”

“Oh,” Andy says, and Claire realizes that Bender and Brian have stopped talking. “Who was it then?”

Claire knows that he’s only asking because he already knows, she can tell by the look on his face. She looks up again and catches Bender’s eye. He raises a brow as if to challenge her. Claire doesn’t think she can lie about this anymore; she’s felt the secret weighing on her for over two years. “Uh,” she says, trying to figure out what to say.

“Just say it,” he says. “Please.”

Claire sighs. “Andy-“

“She’s calling your apartment? How does she even have your number?” Andy looks angry, more angry than Claire expected he would be. Christina has been his girlfriend for almost a year now and she thought that him being in a new relationship may have dulled the pain of his break up with Allison.

“She gave us hers,” Claire whispers.

Claire watches as Andy’s jaw tenses. She shifts her glance to Brian who presses his lips together and shakes his head. Claire knows this is about to blow up right in front of her and all she can do is helplessly watch.

“Where is she?” It’s not the question Claire was expecting him to ask, but it’s reasonable since she left him without a trace.

“California,” Bender answers for her.

Andy takes in a stuttering breath. “And you’ve been in contact with her this whole time?” He looks at each of them and when they nod slowly, he stands up. “Thanks for dinner but I have to go.”

“Andy,” Claire says and she realizes now that she’s crying.

“I have to go,” he says again, and then he’s gone.

~~
During his two years at community college, Andy lived with Allison and Bender. They were all in school at the time, Andy taking his prerequisites, Bender working through technical school, and Allison taking English classes. Even though he wasn’t wrestling anymore, Andy worked out often, jogging around the neighborhood. Life was good and he was very much in love.

Even though they were all in school and working, he still got to spend every night next to the girl he loved. Her room became his, his stuff accumulating in drawers and on surfaces over time. By the end of the two years, nothing of importance remained at his old house.

In the winter of his second year at community college, Andy applied to Loyola University in Chicago to continue his schooling. He talked to Allison about it and she seemed happy for him. He didn’t notice at the time that she was becoming more withdrawn.

The summer before he was set to start at his new school, Andy took Allison to a beach house on Lake Michigan for a long weekend. She brought her polaroid camera with her and took so many pictures that he thought he might go blind from the flash.

They spent most of the weekend in bed, even though Andy tried to get her to go sightseeing. He was happy at the time, glad to be away from the rest of the world for a while. He was naïve back then, he knows that now. He didn’t question why she insisted on drawing him in every room of the beach house, why she kept them awake until early morning, or why she cried when they slept together on the last day.

She told him she was just tired and he believed her.

She helped him pack for school, putting all the belongings that found a home in her room into boxes. She drove them up to the school in Bender’s truck, helped him set up his dorm room, and kissed him before she left. She even called him when she got home.

A couple of months in, the phone calls became less and less frequent. Some nights she didn’t even pick up when he called. Bender called him one day concerned because he found one of Allison’s notebooks in the trash.

At that point, she had her associate’s degree in English and she was still working at the record shop. To Andy’s knowledge, she didn’t look for a new job or apply to another school after graduation.

Andy figured she was just in a funk, adjusting to the change of him leaving and her being down with school. He was waiting until she asked him to listen. When Andy was still at home, he tried to get Allison to find another therapist but she insisted that she was fine.

If he had just paid a little more attention, maybe he would have seen it coming. But he didn’t.

It was a Friday afternoon and Andy had just finished his last class of the day. He walked up the stairs to his dorm and was about to put his key in the lock when he noticed that something was taped to his door.

He immediately recognized it as the class ring he gave to Allison in the library of Shermer High on prom day.

He doesn’t even remember how he made it back to Shermer, but he knows it was quick. He ran up the stairs to the apartment and used the key he still had to unlock it. He ended up standing in her doorway, looking into her room. Everything was taken off the walls and the bedding was gone. The only thing that remained was a single sketchbook, sitting in the middle of her naked bed.

Andy doesn’t remember much about what happened next. Somehow, he ended up drunk, sitting on the floor next to her bed. He remained unaware of his surroundings until Bender came home and found him there.

“What happened?” He said, looking around her room and then back down at Andy.

Andy let out a stuttering sigh. “She’s gone.”

~~
Bender sits on the end of the bed and waits for Claire to finish in the bathroom. When Andy stormed out, she uncontrollably sobbed for fifteen straight minutes. Once she had calmed herself down, she blamed the pregnancy hormones and said that she needed to take a shower. Brian looked clueless about how to help, so Bender sent him home with the rest of the beers Andy brought and led Claire upstairs to the bathroom.

Claire doesn’t allow alcohol to be kept in the apartment. When she first mentioned it, John thought that it was because of him, her holding some fear that he has the potential to become just like his father. He wanted to resent her for that, but he found that he couldn’t. However, he figured out the truth when Claire’s mother stopped by right after Claire had moved in with him. She showed up tipsy and made sure to point out every inadequacy she saw in her daughter before leaving. Then he understood.

So, he sent Brian home with the rest of the beers. Once Claire got to their room, she assured him she could handle herself and made her way to the bathroom. That’s how Bender ended up sitting on his bed and staring at the wall.

Claire emerges from the bathroom and she’s wearing one of his sleeping shirts. He finds himself staring at her more often now. He’s always found her beautiful, even on the first day that they met, but something about her carrying his child makes him get distracted.

It’s almost like the period following the first time they had sex. He did his best to make it special and they both enjoyed themselves, but in the weeks following it, they were attached at the hip. He would cringe about his past lovestruck behavior if he wasn’t feeling similar things right now.

She’s standing in front of him wearing only underwear and his t-shirt, so he holds out his hand and says, “Come here.” She takes his hand and sits next to him on the bed. When she rests her head against his shoulder, he nudges her hair with his nose.

“I shouldn’t have told him,” Claire whispers and Bender squeezes her hand.

“We couldn’t keep it from him forever.”

“We could have,” Claire argues. “That’s what she wanted us to do.”

“It was never really fair,” Bender says. He doesn’t want to talk about Allison anymore, so he says, “Come on,” and pulls her up to standing. He leads her to her side of the bed and pulls up the sheets, letting her climb inside. He walks over his side of the bed and gets in too.

He remembers when he first moved into this apartment, back when Claire was still in college and he was just starting his career. In the disorienting time following Allison’s departure, he waited for Claire to do the same thing to him. But she didn’t, and he asked her to move in with him, and he decided to stop waiting for things to end. Now, they’re engaged with a baby on the way.

Bender watches as Claire pulls the blankets up to her chin. He remembers another scene similar to this, back when they were first living together and Bender was beginning to accept that his life was always going to be like this.

“Claire,” he said back then, brushing her red curls off her forehead. “I don’t want to hate my life.”

The Claire from the beginning of their relationship would have taken that statement as a threat, but she knew him inside and out by then. She reached up and grabbed his wrist, rubbing her thumb along the vein on the inside. The Bender of the past would have scoffed at her for being so openly soft, but he found that he appreciated it in that moment.

“I’m going to make sure that you don’t,” Claire says, “for as long as you want me to.”

Now, he takes her hand and looks at the ring that he retrieved from Andy’s apartment the day after he proposed. He can’t believe he’s getting married to a girl he dated in high school, a girl who used to be the most popular girl in their grade. Now that they’ve grown up, he realizes that it doesn’t really matter and that her pristine image was just a cover to appease her parents.

“I hope Andy’s okay,” Claire whispers.

Bender doesn’t envy Andy and the way his relationship with Allison fell apart. Unlike Bender, who was often waiting for his own relationship to collapse in some dramatic way, Andy thought that him and Allison would be together forever.

“I do too,” Bender says before kissing her gently and turning off the light.

~~
A few days later, Brian is back in Claire and Bender’s apartment, this time blowing up balloons. Bender enlisted his help to throw Claire a baby/bridal combination party a couple of weeks ago and the day is finally here. Claire’s mother has had no interest in helping with her daughter’s pregnancy, likely at the insistence of her husband. Bender recounted the day Claire told her parents she was expecting and according to him, her father’s reaction was not pretty.

Her parents are invited, Bender made sure of it. Brian was the one who made that phone call. Her mother may have judged him initially, but he’s worn her down over the years into liking him. Brian also figured that Claire’s parents would rather get the invitation from him than Bender. Claire’s brother Patrick and his partner Jimmy, simply because Claire’s parents were going to be there, had opted out of attending the party but were coming later for dinner.

Claire is at work and Bender is out getting the food, so Brian was left alone to decorate. Bender wants the party to be perfect for Claire, so he’s made sure to keep it a surprise. The invite list is conservative, but Claire’s closest friends are on it. Well, most of them.

Brian is about to start hanging up a banner when there’s a knock at the door. He rushes to answer it and finds Andy and his girlfriend Christina standing there.

“Hey, guys,” Brian says, stepping aside to let them in.

They greet him as he leads them to the living room, where he’s set up a chair. “Need me to spot you?”

“Sure,” Brian says, climbing up on the chair.

While Andy stands behind him, Christina sits on the couch. Brian tapes the edges of the banner to the door frame, pressing down on the tape so it sticks. Once it’s firmly in place, Andy steps back and Brian jumps down from the chair.

“It looks nice in here, Brian,” Christina says from her spot on the couch. Brian didn’t notice when they walked in, but Christina is holding a gift bag.

“Thanks,” he says. “You can put your gift over there.”

Andy takes the bag from her and walks it over to the table Brian and Bender set up. For some reason, Bender was very against inviting Christina to the party. It was never explicitly acknowledged, but Brian knew and so did Andy. After Andy left the house upset a few nights ago, Brian called and told him to bring her.

It’s a little awkward, Brian can feel it, but Andy is pretending like nothing happened and Brian decides to do the same. Before Brian has to try to come up with any awkward conversation starters, Bender pushes his way into the apartment with arms full of grocery bags. Brian rushes to meet him and takes a couple of bags from him hands.

“Looks good in here, Bri,” Bender says, walking over to the kitchen and dropping the bags on the table. Brian follows his lead and then reaches into the bags, pulling items out.

“Hey, Bender,” Andy says, and when Brian looks over, he sees Andy standing under the banner, holding his girlfriend’s hand.

Brian watches as Bender’s face falls microscopically at the sight of Andy’s girlfriend, but he says, “Hey guys,” before he looks back at Brian. Brian only caught it because he knows Bender so well, but Andy knows him pretty well too. It’s unlikely that he missed it.

“Uh,” Brian says, “we should hurry. We want to be all set up before Claire gets back.”

Bender nods and pulls the items out of the bags. If Brian can get him alone, he’ll ask what’s bothering him.

~~
Laurie pulls up in front of the mall where Claire works and puts her car in park. Laurie was recruited by Bender to pick up his fiancée and drive her to her surprise party. According to him, Claire threw up on herself while driving and almost got in a wreck, so he insisted that he drive her to and from work until she has the baby.

Laurie hopes that Claire doesn’t ask her too many questions on the ride back because she’s a terrible liar. She doesn’t want to spoil the surprise, but Claire can be insistent. She hasn’t seen Claire in a bit, not since right after she got back from her business trip a few days ago.

Laurie’s life has been a bit of a whirlwind since then. The company she was working at promoted her and then transferred her to another branch closer to Shermer. She’s set to start at her new job after the weekend as a computer tech consultant, but she’s nervous. Her first job wasn’t in what she went to school for, but this one is.

She’s so lost in her own thoughts that she almost misses Claire walking out the doors. Laurie quickly beeps her horn and when Claire looks over in her direction, Laurie waves her over. Soon enough, Claire is slipping into the passenger seat of Laurie’s car.

“What are you doing here?” Claire says, leaning over as far as her pregnant belly will allow and hugging her.

“I’m in town for the weekend,” she says, choosing her words carefully. “I called your apartment and Bender told me you were at work. I volunteered to pick you up.”

Luckily for her, Claire doesn’t question it. She just smiles and says, “It’s good to see you.”

Laurie, happy that she doesn’t have to lie, puts her car in drive.

“So, have you started the new job yet?” Claire asks.

“I start Monday,” Laurie says. “How’s work for you?”

“Pretty good,” Claire says. “Working and going to school at the same time is a lot harder than I thought it would be, especially with the baby on the way.”

“How are you feeling? You look great,” Laurie says.

Laurie sees Claire smile softly out of the corner of her eye. “Thanks,” she says. “I’m still nauseous most of the time. Whoever named it ‘morning sickness’ misled me.”

Laurie laughs and can’t help but feel happy for her oldest friend. Laurie thought for sure that she was going to marry her last boyfriend, but he dumped her unexpectedly and moved out of their apartment in the city. Laurie has a sneaking suspicion that the reason he left her was because he found out she was making more money than he was.

As they drive along the road, Laurie can’t help but wonder if Brian will be at the party. She doesn’t see why he wouldn’t be, but the thought of seeing him again makes her stomach fill with butterflies. It’s been a long time, almost 5 years, since she’s actually seen him. Her huge crush that appeared almost out of nowhere her senior year of high school was never acted on, but she wonders if things could be different now.

Though, she acknowledges that she’s a much different person now. He must be as well. Still, she wonders and the butterflies flutter in her stomach.

~~
Brian is in the bathroom when he hears the loud shouts of surprise. He’s only in there to escape the scrutiny of Claire’s parents and an awkward conversation with Andy and Christina. A few of Claire’s work friends and some cousins were also there, chatting in groups around the edges of the living room.

He swears under his breath and flushes before washing his hands under warm water. He didn’t think Claire would be there so soon and he couldn’t stand the unexplainable tension for another second.

Brian pushes open the door and walks out into the chaos. It’s more settled than he thought, Claire sitting on the couch next to her parents and friends, while Bender leans against the door frame. Brian joins him, standing next to him and watching the scene in front of them.

“Was she surprised?” Brian asks.

“She cried,” Bender says, nodding his head over to where Claire is drying her eyes with a tissue.

“That’s a good thing, right?” Brian asks. Claire cries a lot now because of the pregnancy hormones, but she’s smiling which is indicative of a good thing.

“Yeah,” Bender says, and then his eye bug out for a second.

“John, will you help us in the kitchen for a moment?” Claire’s mother says, her father standing next to her.

“Um, sure,” Bender says, shooting Brian a quick look before leading her parents back into the kitchen.

Brian watches them go and then turns his attention back to the party. Claire motions for him to come over and he does, stepping over people’s feet.

“This is so sweet,” Claire says. “Thank you for this.” She reaches over and kisses his forehead lightly, careful not to get her lipgloss on his skin.

“You deserve it,” Brian says, sending her a soft smile.

Claire looks up and smiles, and Brian follows her gaze. He sees a woman about their age across the room and Brian realizes that it’s Laurie. His first proper crush, the first one guided by both head and heart anyway, is walking towards him like they’re in the halls of Shermer High again.

As he watches her now, he realizes that she looks a lot like his ex-girlfriend from college. He dated Sarah briefly before Greg, but their relationship didn’t last long. Laurie seems to notice him for the first time, her eyes squinting as if she recognizes him but can’t place him. He doesn’t blame her, he’s been told that he looks a lot different now than he did in high school.

“Come sit,” Claire says to Laurie, patting the cushion on the other side of her. She obeys and doesn’t take her eyes off of him.

“Wait a minute,” Laurie says. “Brian?” Brian nods and she lets out a laugh. “Oh my God, you look so different.”

Brian doesn’t know if that’s a compliment or not, but he smiles all the same. “Laurie,” he says. “Nice to see you again. You look good.”

Claire raises her eyebrows at him before looking at Laurie. Brian honestly has no idea what’s happening right now and he feels himself flush. Laurie is still watching him when Bender comes back in the room.

He walks over to Claire and holds out his hand. As he helps her up, Brian hears Bender whisper “Regardless of whatever is about to happen, trust me when I say I tried to talk them out of it.”

“Oh no,” Claire whispers back and Bender slips his hand around her waist.

He leads her over to the kitchen and once they’re gone, Laurie shifts over until he can feel the warmth of her leg next to his. “So,” she says, “how have you been?”

Before he can answer, there’s the sound of tapping on glass from the other side of the room. They both break eye contact and look up to find Claire’s mother standing in the doorframe next to her husband, Bender and Claire standing behind them. Brian can tell by the way they’re standing that Bender is rubbing her back. He does that sometimes, especially lately, when she gets anxious.

“Everyone,” Ellen Standish says. “It’s time for games.”

~~
Claire hates party games, particularly when the party has people she doesn’t know very well. Sure, she’s friends with everyone here, but she’s not close with all of them. Some of them are work friends, people she’s friendly with but not close to.

John knows that she hates party games. He tried his best, but he is perpetually on her parents’ bad side and didn’t want to get in a blow-out fight with them (again). She knows he’s trying for her and she knows that he doesn’t understand her desire to maintain a relationship with them, but she appreciates his efforts.

She wishes that he tried just a little bit harder this time, though.

After trying to change the diaper of a baby doll blindfolded and being subjected to people guessing about the firsts of her relationship with Bender (minus sex, because some lines her mother won’t cross), Claire is tired of people looking at her.

Claire escapes to the kitchen when Andy and Bender bring out the cake. She’s overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people in her apartment and she’s so nauseous she feels like she might throw up.

She isn’t alone for long. After the cake is sliced and passed out, her fiancé comes up behind her and slips an arm around her waist. “Hi,” he says, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Hello,” she says back and curls closer to him. “This is fun.”

Bender snorts. “Are you sure? Your mother seems to have taken over.”

“Yes,” Claire says. “She tends to do that. But thank you for the surprise. It’s very sweet.”

“Well, that’s just who I am, Sweets,” Bender says. “I’m just that considerate.”

“You really are, even if it doesn’t fit with your tough guy image.”

“You think I still have a tough guy image? That’s sweet,” he says, dragging his thumb up and down her side.

Claire knows he’s right, John Bender having fully embraced settling down and getting married. Still, she sees the Bender she met in detention in the man standing next to her. It’s kind of funny, how he’s so different yet so the same.

She leans up and kisses him, pressing her hand to his face. It’s shallow but long, so long that her ears buzz and she hears Andy say something, but she doesn’t make out exactly what he says.

She also hears the door open and doesn’t react, but Bender does. “Oh fuck,” he says, pulling away and twisting around.

“What is it?” She says, looking over at the entryway. From the angle where they’re standing, she can’t see the front door.

“Stay here,” he says, and he pulls away from her.

She frowns as she watches him go, but stays put.

~~
Andy is standing near the wall, Christina leaning against his side. Christina is talking about some work assignment she has to do over the weekend and Andy is only half-listening. They both work a lot, so it’s not unusual that one of them has to spend half the weekend in the office. Andy has reading to do for class anyway, so he won’t miss her too much.

Just as he finishes his slice of cake and sets his plate down on the coffee table, he hears a knock at the door. No one else seems to hear it and he doesn’t see Bender or Claire, so he looks at Christina and nods his head towards the entryway.

“Wanna play host with me?” He asks and she nods.

When he walks into the kitchen, he sees Bender and Claire kissing. He rolls his eyes at the display and says, “I’m getting the door.” They don’t react to his words, so he just rolls his eyes again and walks up to the door.

He twists the doorknob and pulls the door open, and when he sees who it is, he feels his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.

Allison Reynolds is standing in front of him, under the porch light, and is staring at him like she used to.

She looks different, older. She is older, he realizes, but in his mind she hasn’t aged. In his mind, she looks the same as she did the day she helped move him into his dorm. He’s having trouble reconciling that Allison with the one standing in front of him.

She’s standing there in front of him like she never left. Never left him.

“Hi,” she says,” as if she doesn’t realize she’s ripping his hear from his chest.

“What are you doing here?” Andrew asks, fists clenched at his sides.

Allison tilts her head and glances quickly over at Christina. “Claire is having a baby. Didn’t you know?”

Andy lets out a dry laugh. “Did I know? Of course I know. I’ve been here.”

Andy almost wants her to react, to show some emotion, but she doesn’t. She just nods and genuinely acknowledges Christina for the first time. “Hello,” she says. “You must be Christina.”

Andy is so lost in his head that he doesn’t hear what his girlfriend says in response. His head is filled with white noise, voices not breaking through until Bender materializes from somewhere Andy doesn’t notice. He must have pushed past Andy to be where he’s standing, but Andy doesn’t remember him doing it.

“Hey, nutcase,” Bender says, going in for a hug.

Christina grabs Andy’s hand while he watches them embrace. “Are you okay?” She whispers to him. He shakes his head minutely and turns around. He doesn’t know if she follows him or not, but he knows that he can’t stand there another second.

~~
Claire cries when she sees Allison, which is good, but Andy slouches in the corner of the room and refuses to make eye contact with anyone, which is bad. Bender assumed that he would react this way and he contemplated telling him beforehand, but he knew that Andy wouldn’t have come if he did. An optimistic part of him was hoping that maybe he could get them to talk after all this time.

Maybe it was a shitty thing for him to do, but Allison is Claire’s best friend and she hasn’t seen her in too long.

Brian wasn’t even aware that she was coming, which is probably why he didn’t think twice about inviting Christina. Bender would have insisted that he not, but it honestly slipped his mind.

Most of Claire’s casual friends and her parents were heading out, leaving only Christina, Andy, Brian, Allison, and Laurie. Bender checks the clock on the wall; Patrick and Jimmy are likely close.

Claire moves to the couch, dragging Allison by her arm to sit next to her. Bender realizes then that Allison is carrying a gift bag. Once they’re sitting, Allison passes the bag to Claire. While Claire is opening the gift, Brian sits next to Allison and gives her a quick hug.

It really has been too long since they’ve all been together.

Bender is leaning against the doorframe and watching the scene when Andy approaches him. Christina is right behind him and although Bender doesn’t know her very well, he thinks she looks a little lost.

“I know we said we were going to stay for dinner, but we’re actually going to take off,” Andy says. “Say goodbye to Claire for me.”

Bender nods slowly. “Alright,” he says, and Andy is looking at the wall behind Bender’s ear but doesn’t meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, Andy.”

Andy shakes his head and looks back at his girlfriend. “Don’t be. We’re just going to go home.”

Bender offers them both a smile as they walk by him. When he returns his gaze to the dwindling party, he locks eyes with Allison. Claire is turning over the gift that Allison gave her, a couple of children’s books, but Allison is looking at where Andy was just standing.

If Bender is being honest, he’s surprised that him and Claire were the couple that ended up staying together and that Andy and Allison were the ones to fall apart. It’s ridiculously obvious to everyone outside of the situation that they need to talk, but he doubts it’ll happen, especially now.

“Do you like it?” Allison asks, finally looking back at Claire.

“I do,” Claire says. “I’ve seen advertisements for these books at the mall. Everyone’s reading them, even adults. Apparently they’re a big deal.”

“I don’t know about that, but they are signed.”

“Really? How did you manage that?” Claire asks.

Allison shrugs as Claire flips to the first page. Bender can see the scribbled signature from where he’s standing. “Well, I’m the one who wrote them.”

Bender heard that she was writing, but he had no idea that she was a published author, a really successful one at that. She used a pseudonym, hiding herself in plain sight.

“That’s incredible,” Claire says, setting the books down on her lap and leaning over to give her a hug. “I love it. Thank you.”

Brian reaches over and snatches the book off of Claire’s lap, reading the synopsis on the back. He’s so engrossed in it that he doesn’t even notice when Allison lays a hand on his arm.

Laurie, the last person there who wasn’t in detention that day, looks down at her watch and stands. “Claire, I’ve got to head out.”

Claire stands and gives her a tight hug. Bender doesn’t fully understand Claire’s friendship with Laurie, but he can admit that she’s changed a lot since their high school days. She calls pretty often and she takes Claire out to dinner whenever she’s in town. He almost considers her one of his own casual friends, but he would never tell her that.

Laurie shoots him a smile as she walks by him to get her coat. When Bender looks back at the room, he sees Brian, finally looking up from the book, tracking her movements from across the room. Bender has no idea what that’s about, but Brian catches him looking and looks away before Bender can figure out what’s going on.

Once Laurie is gone, Bender walks over to the couch. Claire makes room for him on her other side and he sinks into the cushion next to her. As he wraps his arm around Claire and holds her close, he looks around the room. With Allison here, it feels like the good old days.

He knows Andy had his reasons for taking off, but Bender wishes he was still here.

~~
Christina sits on her side of the bed, watching Andy pace back and forth. She knows what’s coming next, even if he doesn’t yet.

He never really spoke much about Allison before, only sometimes mentioning an ex who really messed him up. Seeing him today made her realize that he’s still in love with her.

As much as she wants to resent him for that, she can’t. He doesn’t even realize it himself yet. She knows he loves her too, but it’s not the same.

They’ve been dating for almost a year and Christina spends most nights at his apartment, but she can’t help but think that they’re not as close as a couple should be. She’s met his parents and although his father likes her, she can tell that his mother doesn’t. She’s never said anything, but Christina can tell.

Andy has met her parents and her sister and they like him well enough, but even her sister asked if she thought there was something missing.

She’s happy with him, but she agrees with her sister. She now realizes that the something missing for Andy is the fact that she isn’t his high school sweetheart.

“Andy, can you please sit down?” She says, patting the bed next to her.

It’s like he doesn’t hear her. He doesn’t sit and continues pacing back and forth in front of her. She’s never seen him like this before, never seen him so emotional about anything.

She knows this is going to hurt. But, Christina knows she deserves better than to be her boyfriend’s second choice, whether he realizes that’s what he’s made her or not.

“Andy,” she says, and her tone makes him pause.

“Sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I’ll sit.”

He does and he leans back on his arms. “Are you alright?” She asks, even though she already knows the answer.

“I wasn’t expecting her to be there,” he says, and Christina shakes her head, slightly enough so he doesn’t see.

“I can tell,” Christina says.

“I don’t know why I’m so upset about it,” Andy says.

Christina reaches her hand over and grabs his. “Andy,” she says softly.

“I’m just a little rattled,” Andy says, his hand loose in hers. He goes quiet and looks ahead at the wall.

Christina is a realist, she always has been. She’s always thought that it’s better to see things how they really are rather than getting too excited. She knows where this is going. Andy’s been a great boyfriend, but she’s known deep down that something is missing. At first, she assumed that it was because they were working so much and Andy is still in school. Their lives are busy and that’s just how it was, but now that Christina is thinking about it, she can’t remember the last time they spent any time together out of bed.

“Andy,” she says again, pulling her hand away from him. He looks at her then, shaking his head.

“No,” he says, “don’t do this.”

“Listen to me,” she says. “Please, Andy.”

“So you’re leaving me,” Andy says. He seems resigned to it, almost as much as she is.

“This isn’t just about Allison,” she says and he flinches minutely when she says his ex’s name. “You know it’s been off between us.”

“I don’t know,” Andy says. “I guess.” He drops his head into his hands.

“I just don’t want to hold us back,” she continues, talking because she feels the need to explain, but not because this situation really needs an explanation. She knows that he feels the same.

“I get it,” he says. “I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

Christina lets out a breath. She almost thinks that this is too easy, too clean a break after a year together. She prefers it to a screaming match though. “Take some time to figure yourself out, Andy. It’s best for both of us.”

Andy lifts his head up and looks at her. “This really sucks, doesn’t it,” he says.

“It does,” Christina says. She lays her hand on top of his and squeezes. “We’ll be alright.”

“I love you,” he says, and she knows he means it, but it doesn’t make a difference anymore. Christina knows what she’s about and she knows that it’ll be best for both of them.

“I know,” she says. “I love you too.”

Then she stands.

~~
Brian hasn’t felt this jittery since his first day of college. First days are nerve-wracking in general and Brian is starting at a company that’s been all over the news for their strides in the computer industry. A part of him, that annoying voice in the back of his head, has made him feel as though he doesn’t deserve it and that someone is going to find out sooner or later that he’s a fraud.

For now, he pushes it out of his mind as he walks away from his car in the parking garage. He follows the directions he was mailed and ends up on the 25th floor of a city skyscraper. When the elevator doors open, he is instantly overwhelmed by the bustling work floor he steps into.

It is the most technologically advanced place he’s ever stepped foot in, and the imposter syndrome rears its ugly head again.

He’s standing awkwardly by reception when the woman he interviewed with, Karen he thinks, walks up to him. “Hello, Brian” She says and she offers him her hand. Brian shakes it and she turns, saying over her shoulder, “Follow me.”

Brian obeys, following her to the back of the office space. “We are waiting on a few more people, so take a seat and we’ll start orientation when they get here,” Karen says, opening the door to a conference room and motioning for him to enter.

“Thank you,” Brian says, sending her a smile as she walks away. He reaches behind him to close the door.

“Well, isn’t this a coincidence,” a voice says, and Brian whips around faster than he probably should have.

“Laurie?”

She’s sitting in a swivel chair at the end of a long conference table and she’s alone. Brian clutches his messenger bag and makes his way over, sitting in the chair across from her.

“You’re starting here too?” Brian asks, as if it isn’t obvious.

“Same as you, it seems,” she says and she smiles at him.

“I didn’t know you worked in computers,” Brian says and she shrugs.

“I found that I liked it in college. I’m not surprised you do,” she says. “I am surprised to see you here.”

“We do keep bumping into each other,” Brian says, although he doesn’t know if reacquainting at a mutual friend’s bridal/baby showing qualifies as bumping into someone.

“How’s Claire?” Laurie asks, and Brian can tell that she’s just making conversation because she just saw Claire a couple days ago.

“Good,” he says.

Before she can say anything else, Karen walks back into the room with two people following her. The two men sit down at the table, one with a suit a size too big and the other wearing a hideous shade of green. Karen stands at the head of the table and clasps her hands together. “Alright, let’s get started.”

~~
The wedding creeps up on him and the morning he wakes up alone, he feels a wall of anxiety hit him. This is the first night in the last year that Claire hasn’t slept beside him and he had a hard time sleeping between the lack of warmth and the anxiety.

Claire insisted that she couldn’t see him on the day of their wedding because it was “bad luck”. Bender laughed when she said it because she’s pregnant and is planning on wearing a white dress, propriety seems completely lost at this point, but she refused to budge on the issue. She’s staying at Brian’s new apartment with her brother Patrick and his partner Jimmy. Bender has no idea how the four of them are sleeping in that small apartment, but she’s the one who wanted to do it.

He gets up earlier than he was planning on, but he finds that he can’t stay in bed any longer. He runs through the shower and slips into the tuxedo that Claire left hanging on the back of their bathroom door.

When he looks in the mirror, he doesn’t even recognize himself. He looks like a fancier, older version of himself, one who has his life together. He realizes, standing there, that he actually does.

~~
Claire is more nervous than she’s ever been in her entire life and she’s about ready to murder her mother in cold blood.

In the early afternoon, Brian drove her to the venue. Patrick and Jimmy were also in the car, but went to breakfast with Brian after they dropped her off. The sole reason they didn’t come in with her is because her mother is helping her get ready and Patrick didn’t want to cause a scene at Claire’s wedding. Claire knows better, knowing that there will be a scene no matter what, but she honors her brother’s wishes.

Allison is there as well, helping her get dressed. Her mother is sitting on the other side of the room, talking about nothing and driving her up the wall. As Allison zips up Claire’s dress, Claire’s mother says, “Claire honey, it really is a shame that you’re pregnant. That dress would have looked so wonderful on you.” If you were skinnier, are the words that remain unsaid.

Claire stiffly inhales and Allison lays a supportive hand on her shoulder. Claire whips around as soon as Allison is done and narrows her gaze. “Mother, if you don’t have anything nice, maybe don’t say anything at all.”

“Well, it’s true,” her mother says. “But I’m sorry, dear.”

Claire feels herself turn red. “Mom, please don’t.”

“Please don’t, what?”

“Please don’t do what you usually do,” Claire says. She’s grown more of a backbone when dealing with her parents. They still hate John, even now, and they have often made this fact known. Since she’s reconnected with her brother and gotten to know her brother’s partner, the rejection of her parents has taken a much more cynical meaning.

“And what do I usually do?” Her mother asks, crossing her arms.

Claire takes a deep breath. “I know that you don’t like John, but this is our wedding. You can’t be rude to him.”

“I’m perfectly civil to your boyfriend,” her mom says, “and so is your father. We’re doing you a courtesy, we don’t have to be.”

Claire shoots a look at Allison. There’s so much wrong with that sentence, starting with the fact that her mom called John her boyfriend, and ending with the courtesy comment.

“Mother,” Claire warns. “You cannot be rude to our guests.”

“I am not rude,” her mother snaps back and Claire takes a deep breath.

“Mother, I invited Patrick,” Claire says. She wanted to prepare her mother, maybe ease into it a little more, but the words came tumbling out.

“What?” Her mother says, sitting up a little straighter.

“And his boyfriend, Jimmy,” Claire adds, lifting her chin.

“What?” Her mother exclaims, standing up in shock. “How on Earth-“

“I want them here, so they will be here. You are not going to say anything about it.”

Claire’s mother sputters like a fish out of water, but Claire just turns around to face Allison. “I think it’s time to finish my make up. What do you say?”

Allison just smiles softly before nodding. Claire reaches up and wipes her brow. It’s going to be a long day.

~~
Patrick hasn’t been to Al’s Diner since high school and it feels weird to be back. Shermer isn’t known for it’s culinary excellence so Brian brought them to the best place he could think of for lunch. He orders a turkey sandwich while Jimmy and Brian order chicken.

He hasn’t stopped shaking since they drove into Shermer last night.

Jimmy can always sense when he’s uneasy and now is no exception. He lays a soft hand on his thigh, out of view of everyone in the restaurant.

“So, how have you been, Brian?” Jimmy asks.

Patrick and Jimmy have an odd relationship with Claire’s best friend. She practically forced Brian to talk to him because she found out he was seeing a boy in college. Even though Patrick is gay, the only thing Claire actually knows about the community is that gay men have been dying of an illness that cannot be cured. She begged Patrick to talk to him about how to stay safe, so he did.

“I’ve been alright,” Brian says. “Greg and I broke up.”

Patrick and Jimmy already knew this of course, because Claire keeps them updated on all of the Shermer news, but Jimmy just nods. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s for the best, really,” Brian says. “How are you?”

“We’re good,” Jimmy says as he looks over at Patrick. “Mostly just working and getting ready for the move.”

Patrick was offered a job in Boston and jumped on the chance immediately. The job had better benefits and the city was much more tolerant than the one he was currently living in. The only con was moving away from his sister, but he knows she’ll be alright. She got by without him in her life for a long time, she can do it again.

“Can you believe the wedding is actually here?” Brian asks.

“Yes and no,” Patrick says, finally contributing to the conversation. “I feel like Claire has been planning this forever.”

When they were younger, Claire used to force Patrick to play wedding. Claire would dress up in a pink princess dress and Patrick was forced to officiate her marriage to her favorite stuffed animal. While Patrick is sure her younger self didn’t picture being pregnant and marrying a man that her parents loathe, he thinks that she’ll still enjoy her day just the same.

“Oh, she has,” Brian says, and Patrick can tell that he’s thinking of his own Claire-related wedding story. “Her parents aren’t happy, though.”

“Mom and dad were always against fornication and homosexuality. Now they’re two for two,” Patrick says. “I just hope they don’t cause a scene.”

“They wouldn’t,” Brian says. “Not if it’ll make them look bad.”

“True enough,” Patrick says and he looks over at Jimmy.

Jimmy is at a disadvantage in this conversation, because he has never had the honor of meeting Patrick and Claire’s parents. Patrick met Jimmy in college, they sat next to each other in freshman English, and Patrick fell in love fast and hard, although it started slow. Jimmy asked him for help on his essays and since Patrick was doing pretty well in the class, he didn’t think anything of it. At least he didn’t think anything of it until Jimmy, brave as he always is, leaned over and kissed him during a study session in his dorm room. Patrick flailed, and Jimmy waited, and then Patrick kissed him back.

By the time they graduated, Patrick couldn’t imagine his life without Jimmy in it.

He knew that he would lose his family by choosing him, but there really wasn’t any choice at all. He missed Claire and mourned her loss, but he lost his parents long before the day they left him standing alone in his new house.

Even though Jimmy doesn’t know Patrick’s parents, he knows all about their treatment of him. Jimmy also knows that Patrick hasn’t stopped shaking since they crossed into Illinois.

“It’ll be okay,” Jimmy says, squeezing his leg again.

And even though Patrick’s stomach is in knots, he nods.

~~
Andy prepares himself as he ties his tie in front of his bathroom mirror. The room looks empty now without all of Christina’s things and Andy isn’t quite used to it yet.

As he pulls the knot tight, his mind wanders to Allison, like it often has over the past few years. He tried to stop it, but she’s always been good at stealing his focus. He’s frustrated beyond belief that she showed up out of nowhere and fucked his life up again, but he figures it’s probably about time that he comes to terms with the whole situation.

He’s beyond angry and confused, but really underneath it all, he just wants to know why.

~~
Allison breaths a sigh of relief when she sees Brian appear in the doorway. The tension between Claire and her mother had boiled over and now Claire is pretending like she isn’t affected by it while her mother is giving her the cold shoulder.

“How’s it going?” Brian whispers as Allison approaches.

“Oh, you know,” Allison says, “as pleasant as always. Where’d you leave them?”

Brian shrugs. “They wanted to go walk around downtown. I let Patrick drive my car and they dropped me off here.”

“I think Mrs. Standish is in shock,” Allison says softly, looking discreetly over her shoulder. When she turns back around, Brian is looking at her. “What?”

“Nothing,” he says. “It’s just weird to see you here.”

“Bad weird?”

“No,” he says. “Obviously not.”

Allison smiles and bumps her shoulder against his. “C’mon, let’s get you ready.”

~~
Soon enough, Claire’s family starts to arrive, as well as her college friends and Bender’s friends from work. Andy peaks out from behind a divider and sees the hall decorated and people filling into the seats. He doesn’t see Patrick and Jimmy yet, which is probably smart. It will probably be better for them if they sneak in right before the ceremony.

Bender and Brian are downstairs, along with Bender’s friend Joey from high school and his friend Will from his garage. Brian’s the best man on a technicality; Bender made them flip a coin because he refused to pick on his own.

He assumes that Claire’s bridesmaids are here too. Claire picked Laurie as her maid of honor before Allison showed back up. Her two friends from college, whose names are escaping him, must be there too.

Andy can’t believe that this day is here. Sometimes he doesn’t feel that much older than the boy who sat in detention that Saturday. Way too young to have two friends getting married.

He sighs and turns around, making his way back down to where everyone is getting ready.

~~
John feels a little out of his body right now and he doesn’t actually recall how he ended up standing at the front of the hall. He very skillfully avoided eye contact with Claire’s parents as he made his way up there. The bridesmaids and groomsmen have already processed and are lined up. Brian is facing him and sends him a reassuring smile.

When the song changes and he hears everyone stand, he turns around. When he sees Claire, he smiles.

~~
Claire has dreamed about her wedding since she was a little girl, but no one told her how quickly the ceremony would fly by. The next thing she knows, she’s kissing John and then holding his hand as they walk back down the aisle.

There’s a car waiting for them outside to take them to the reception hall and they climb inside. Claire waves out the window at her friends and family as the driver drives away.

She looks over at Bender, her husband, to find that he’s already looking at her. She smiles softly at him and he reaches into his front pocket, producing a white envelope.

“Here,” he says, passing the paper to her. She takes it and sees her name in his handwriting.

“What is this?” She asks.

“Just read it,” he says, and then he looks out the window.

Claire rips open the envelope with her finger and pulls out the piece of paper inside. When she unfolds it and reads the first line, she realizes what he’s given her and immediately starts to tear up.

Claire decided that they would do generic vows, knowing that Bender would never want to write his own. John agreed, but it turns out it wasn’t that he didn’t want to write his own, he just didn’t want anyone else to hear them.

Claire reaches over, grabs his hand, and reads.

~~
It turns out that being married doesn’t feel too different from being engaged, just like being engaged didn’t feel too different from dating. The sit-down dinner and dessert were pretty enjoyable, except for the awkward, palpable tension between Andy and Allison. Claire strategically placed Brian in between them, but even he looks exhausted by it.

Christina didn’t show up and Bender didn’t ask any questions, but Claire thinks that they broke up. Whether or not that’s true, Andy came alone.

After the dinner, people made their way to the dance floor while Claire and Bender did their obligatory rounds to greet their guests. Claire has been misty-eyed most of the night and right now is not an exception. Bender stands next to her while she talks to her brother and Jimmy.

“You’re all grown up, Claire-bear,” Patrick says and Claire pulls him into a hug.

“Congratulations,” Jimmy says and he offers Bender his hand. Bender shakes his hand and offers him a smile. Bender has always liked Jimmy and Patrick, and he owes them for the time they healed him and offered him kindness during a time when almost no one did.

When Claire pulls back from her brother’s embrace, Bender sees two unlikely and unwelcome figures appear. Claire sees his face and follows his gaze, finding her parents approaching. Claire reaches for Bender’s hand while Patrick’s face flushes a dark red.

“Mother, Father,” Patrick says, and John holds his breath. Claire squeezes his hand tight and watches the unfolding scene in horror.

“Patrick,” Claire’s mother says, her voice hushed. John has known Ellen Standish for a long time and he’s never heard her use that tone before.

Claire’s father regards his son with a cold gaze John thought was only reserved for him. It makes him angry, because while John has done things that warrant Peter Standish’s hatred, Patrick did nothing but fall in love with a man.

“This is Jimmy,” Patrick says bravely, placing his hand on the small of Jimmy’s back.

“Why are you here?” Claire’s father says, refusing to acknowledge Jimmy.

“Because I want them to be here,” Claire says, fixing her glare on her parents. “And so does John. This is our day.”

Claire’s father just turns around and walks away, but Claire’s mother stays. “Pat…” she says, looking at his face and then at Jimmy’s. To Bender’s absolute surprise, she reaches out and touches Patrick’s shoulder. She keeps it there for the briefest of seconds before withdrawing, turning around, and following the steps of her husband.

Claire and Bender watch her leave before turning to look at Patrick. Bender looks on as Jimmy watches Patrick’s face. “Well,” Patrick says, letting out a deep sigh. “I don’t know about anyone else, but I could use a drink.”

“Absolutely,” Jimmy says, reaching for Patrick’s hand. “We’ll catch up with you later. Go have fun.”

As they walk away, Claire looks up at him and shakes her head. “That was… not what I was expecting.”

“No,” Bender says before squeezing her hand again. “Wanna dance?”

Claire smiles up at him. “Sure, but I know you don’t.”

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice,” Bender says. “But only for today.”

Claire steps out in front of him and drags his arm behind her. “Let’s go then.”

~~
“Wanna dance?”

Brian looks up from where he’s been picking at his fingers to find Laurie standing in front of him. “Uh…”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun,” she says, smiling. Brian thinks she looks pretty. Then again, he always thinks she looks pretty.

He’s seen a lot of her lately ever since they both started working at the same company. They don’t work near each other in the office, but they always seem to take a lunch break at the same time. If he’s being honest, he feels like he’s been going a little bit crazy.

“I’m not much of a dancer,” he says, leaning back further into the wall.

“Even Bender is dancing,” Laurie argues, nodding her head towards the dance floor. Brian looks over and finds that Bender actually is dancing, but he’s sure it’s because Claire forced him to.

Brian has a feeling that Laurie won’t take no as an answer, so he just pushes himself off of the wall. “Fine, but you owe me one.”

Laurie smiles and holds out her hand. “Deal.”

~~
“We need to talk.”

It took Andy most of the evening to gain the courage to approach Allison. She sat close to him at dinner, only Brian sitting between them, but he didn’t want to say anything in front of their friends. He didn’t want to create a scene and ruin Claire and Bender’s wedding.

But everyone is out on the dance floor and Allison is alone, and Andy knows that it’s time.

“Now?” Allison says, but she pushes away from the wall she was leaning on.

“I think it’s about time, don’t you?” He says, then he turns and walks out the doors of the hall without looking back.

It’s a nice night outside, warmer than expected, and Andy feels a cool breeze blow through his hair. He walks down the steps and into the parking lot. When he turns around, he sees Allison a few steps behind him. She stops a few feet in front of him, the wind blowing through her hair and dress.

“You know, I hate what you did to me. I hate that you had to do it,” Andy says, clenching his jaw.

Allison wraps her arms around her torso. “I know.”

“I still love you,” he says, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he is able to stop them. “I hate myself for it.”

Allison opens her mouth, then closes it without saying anything. She’s staring at him and it makes him feel small. “It’s been two and a half years,” she finally says. “You have a new girlfriend.”

“I had a girlfriend,” he hisses through clenched teeth. “We broke up. It’s not fair for me to drag her along when I don’t feel the same.” He lets out a sigh and runs his fingers through his hair. “You never gave me a reason.”

“Andy,” Allison whispers, but he cuts her off.

“I’m not finished.” She closes her mouth again and nods slowly. “I tried to get over you, but it was almost impossible. You never told me why you left. If you didn’t love me anymore, you could have just told me instead of taking off without warning.”

She shakes her head. “No, that wasn’t it at all. Please tell me you understand that. I thought…” She swallows hard. “I thought that I needed to get away. To see the world.”

“We could have done that together, Allie.”

“But Andy, I didn’t see the world. I went to California, wrote some books. But I didn’t go anywhere else.”

“Why not?” He asks, holding his breath.

“Because…. I knew that it was something I wanted to do with you but that I fucked it up.”

Andy sharply inhales, he can’t help it. There’s a sharp pain under his rib cage that refuses to go away and gets worse when she takes a step closer.

“You have to mean it this time. You have to tell me what you’re thinking,” Andy says.

She looks like she’s going to reach out and touch him but thinks better of it at the last second. “Andy, I can’t stay here.”

“I’ll go with you,” Andy says without really thinking.

Allison lets out a dry laugh. “Your life is here,” she says. “My life isn’t, not anymore.”

“I want to be part of your life,” he says. He realizes that he does, that Allison has always meant something to him.

“How can you say that?” Allison says, sounding breathless. “After all this time?”

“Because!” He says indignantly. “I’ve wanted to be in your life since the day I met you! You’re the one who made it difficult."

Allison looks down at her bridesmaid dress. She compromised for Claire, Andy can tell that it’s not her style. “I know,” she says, pressing her toe against some gravel.

“I wish you would’ve just talked to me,” Andy says quietly. “I could have helped.”

“You couldn’t have. I’m completely fucked up,” she says. “There’s something wrong with me.”

“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Andy says, and before she can protest, he reaches out and grabs her hand. “Maybe you need to talk to someone, and that’s okay.”

“Stop being so sweet,” she says, letting her hand lay limply in his. “I don’t deserve it. I treated you horribly.”

“We both could have done things differently,” Andy says. And yeah, maybe he’s being too forgiving, but he knows somehow that it’ll be worth it.

“I love you too,” Allison whispers and Andy feels a rush of adrenaline flow through his body. “But I don’t know you anymore, not like I used to, and you don’t know me.”

“Well,” Andy says, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, “now seems like a good time to start learning.”

~~
Brian wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and a warm body beside him in bed. It takes him a minute to remember what happened and when he does, his eyes snap open.

Before he can think of a way to make this situation less awkward, the woman lying next to him sits up and looks down at him. “Woah,” she says, wiping her eyes with one hand while she leans on the other.

“Yeah,” he says, “woah.”

“This is an unexpected development,” Laurie says.

It definitely is, because while he remembers most of last night, he got buzzed enough at Claire and Bender’s wedding reception to not have thought about the consequences of hooking up with his new coworker and high school crush.

“Yeah,” is all Brian manages to say.

Laurie looks at him and Brian finds that he can’t make eye contact, instead choosing to focus on the ceiling. “Are you okay?” She asks.

He sighs and wipes his hand over his face. “Yeah, are you?”

She pauses and he can still feel her looking at him. “I’m great.”

That gets Brian’s attention. He thought this would be something she immediately regrets. “You’re great?”

“I’m very great,” she says, smiling down at him. “I wish I knew which pick up line of mine worked on you. I used so many.”

Brian widens his eyes and pushes himself up on his elbows. “You were hitting on me.”

“Of course I was. I’ve had a thing for you since senior year. I’ve been pretty obvious about it.”

Brian thinks back to the time when Laurie cooked for him in the home ec classroom and how smitten he was with her. He never imagined that she’d feel the same way.

“You seem shocked,” Laurie says, leaning closer.

“I am a little shocked,” he says. “You do know you’re out of my league, right?”

“Don’t sell yourself so short,” she says, and she closes the gap between them, bringing her lips to his. His hand moves to her hair like a reflex, like his body remembers some part of last night, and he kisses her back.

When she pulls back, he studies her face. “This is crazy,” he says.

“It’s not,” she says and she traces her hand down the part of his chest that is exposed above the blanket.

Brian smiles and runs his hand through her hair. “I think you told me that you admired my computer skills,” he says, “which I thought was weird because you are obviously just as qualified as I am.”

Laurie laughs and bows her head. “Nothing else was working. I thought you’d respond to flattery.”

“I’ve been told I’m just an idiot,” Brian says. “But I finally figured it out.”

“Good,” Laurie says, and she leans down again.

~~
Bender wakes up disoriented. It takes him a couple of seconds to remember that no, he’s not at home and yes, he is married. Claire is asleep, leaning her head on his shoulder. She was anxious before they boarded the flight, even though her doctor gave her the all clear to fly.

He thought that when the reality of the situation hit him, he would have a moment of panic. However, he feels completely calm with the new weight of a ring on his finger. It’s weird, but he almost feels like yesterday was yet another turning point in his life.

He’s never been to Europe, never thought he would be able to end up there, never thought that it would be an option for him. Traveling was for other people, not for him. Except now it is for him and he’s on a plane with his wife about to touch down in Paris.

Life is good, he can’t help but think. Life is good.

~~
Andy doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes up with a start when his head bobs down to his chest. Allison came home with him last night, just to talk, but when he looks over to where she was sitting on the couch the last time he remembers, the seat is empty.

He doesn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t this. He didn’t expect her to take off so soon after their conversation.

Defeated, he reaches up and unties his tie. He’s contemplating going to bed and sleeping for the rest of the day or going into the fridge and drinking his problems away when he hears a sink running and then a door open.

Andy’s heart climbs back into place when he sees her. She’s wearing his clothes and they’re baggy on her. She was just in the bathroom, he thinks. This isn’t healthy, he also thinks.

Allison’s smile drops off when she sees his face. “I was just in the bathroom,” she says.

“Yes, well,” Andy says, “I know that now.”

Allison sits next to him and clasps her hands together. “I’m sorry.”

Andy reaches over and takes her hands in his. “We already talked about this.”

“I know,” Allison says. “But I ruined how we used to be.”

Andy shrugs. “For now. It’ll take time.”

“You are far too optimistic,” Allison says. “You should be more angry.”

“I am angry,” he says, sitting up straighter. “I’m angry that you left without a word, that you’ve been in contact with our friends this entire time and no one told me, and that you wouldn’t have come back if it weren’t for Claire and Bender’s wedding. But I’m also optimistic.”

“I’m sorry,” she says again.

“I know,” Andy says.

“I have to go back to California,” Allison says and Andy’s heart drops without his permission. Her home is there, he knew she had to go back. He knows that she can't stay here. “Only to pick up my boxes and drop off my manuscript. I’m coming back to Shermer for a while, I promise.”

The worst part about it is that Andy doesn’t believe her, not completely. Part of him wants to go with her, wants to hold her hand the entire way there and back so she can’t take off again, but he needs to trust her if this is going to work. He needs to let her come back to him on her own terms.

“Okay,” Andy says. He leans over and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s go get some breakfast at Al’s for old time’s sake.”

Allison smiles and squeezes his hand. “That sounds amazing.”

Andy knows that it’s going to be hard to trust her again, but for now, he’s going to enjoy what he’s got: a second chance.

~~
It’s a Saturday and she’s almost 7 months pregnant when her mom takes her out to lunch. Bender’s at work, putting in as many hours as he can at his new job before the baby comes, and her mom stopped by their apartment unexpectedly. Claire hasn’t seen her in person since the wedding, although they’ve talked on the phone a few times since she and Bender came back from their honeymoon. Claire finds herself endlessly amazed at how little they have in common.

They’ve just ordered their meal when her mom reaches across the table and grabs her hands. “You’re glowing, honey,” she says.

Claire forces a smile. People have been saying this since she started showing, but Claire personally doesn’t see it. She just feels swollen. “Thanks, mom,” she says anyway. “How’s dad?”

Her father is the one who has taken this whole thing the hardest. He never liked John and he’s been considerably pissed off since they got married and she started showing. He was also upset that Patrick and Jimmy came to the wedding, but Claire couldn’t care less.

“He’s coping,” her mom says, like her dad suffered some great loss instead of what actually happened.

Claire feels the baby move in her stomach, and she looks down and places her hand over her bump instinctively. When she looks back up again, she sees her mom smiling at her. “I remember those days,” she says. “You were much more active than your brother.” Claire hates it when her parents talk about Patrick. They never actually use his name.

Claire decides to stay neutral. She’s closer to her brother than she ever will be to the rest of her family. “Sometimes, it feels like heartburn.”

“I remember that,” her mom says. “I was so nauseous I couldn’t eat.” When Claire wrinkles her nose, she still has morning sickness, her mom shakes her head. “Honestly, it was a blessing. I was trying to watch my figure to keep your father happy.”

That makes Claire pause. Disregarding the gross comment about keeping her dad happy, something else her mother says makes her uncomfortable. “Watch your figure? How do you do that when you’re pregnant?”

“You’ve got to be strict with yourself,” she says, but then her eyes roam to Claire’s stomach. “But you’re already bigger than I ever was.”

Claire feels herself flushing as she narrows her eyes. “Really?”

Before her mom can say anything, the waitress comes and places their food down in front of them. And even though Claire’s mother eyes the pasta Claire has in front of her, she doesn’t say anything else.

~~
After Claire gets back from lunch with her mom, she sits in silence for a long time. Then, she walks into the bathroom and stares at herself in the mirror. The longer she watches her reflection, the bigger her belly looks.

She doesn’t know what time it is when she hears Bender come in. She hears the jingle of the keys as they hit the counter and the sound of him walking to the bedroom.

“Babe?” She hears him say. She takes a stuttering deep breath before turning around and meeting him in the bedroom.

“Hey,” she says softly. He smiles before leaning down to kiss her chastely. He’s been more open with affection since she got pregnant, especially since she started showing. Something about it makes her excited.

He pulls back and brushes her hair back behind her ear. Whatever he sees on her face causes him to frown. “What happened?”

“My mother stopped by,” she says. “She brought me to lunch.”

Bender groans. He doesn’t like her parents, not just because of the way they’ve treated him but also the way they’ve always treated her. He’s made this fact known. “What did she say to you?”

“Do you remember,” Claire says, “what you said to me when you asked me what my name was?”

“In detention?” Bender asks, but the look on his face tells her that he has no idea what she’s talking about.

Claire isn’t surprised that he doesn’t remember. It was 5 years ago and he admitted much later that he was mostly talking out of his ass just to get her attention. “Yeah.”

“I don’t,” he says, “but I’m guessing that it wasn’t good.”

Claire sits on the edge of their bed and lies back on top of the quilt. She rubs her hand over her swollen stomach, feeling the baby move under her skin again. Bender sits down next to her and places his hand next to hers. “Do you think I’m fat?” She asks.

He looks down at her and raises his brow. “Is that a trick question?”

Claire could get mad at him for that, but she finds that she can’t. Instead, she moves her hand so it’s resting over his. “No,” she says, thinking again about her conversation with her mother. “What I mean is, are you happy?”

John looks more confused than before and she can’t blame him for that. “Yeah, I’m happy,” he says. “What did your mom say, exactly?”

She needs to know, needs to quell this insecurity that’s building inside of her, and she needs to make sure he isn’t lying. Instead of asking, she reaches up, winds her fingers in his hair, and pulls him down. He makes a muffled noise of surprise when their lips meet, but he melts into the kiss quickly. He lies on his side next to her, careful not to crush her stomach.

Deepening the kiss, he slides his hand under the hem of her dress and runs it up her side. He brushes his fingertips against her swollen middle, over her stretch marks and new pockets of fat. When she bites down on his lip, he moans and opens his mouth above her. She can feel him growing hard against her thigh.

He’s touching her like he wants her. She knows him well enough now to know that he wouldn’t fake it. She doesn’t realize that she’s crying until John pulls back and brushes a tear off her cheek with his thumb. “Claire,” he whispers, “am I missing something?”

Claire tries to smile, to play it off. “Do you still think Claire’s a fat girl’s name?” Claire sees the second John realized what she’s talking about and he hangs his head in shame.

“I remember now,” he says. “I’ve told you before, I was just trying to get under your skin. And, I’m sorry.”

She knows that he is, he’s apologized for sticking his head between her legs and for some of the other things he said and she apologized too. They were both young and stupid and they’ve both been through way too much together for her to hold it against him. “I know you are,” she says. “It’s just... my mom said something at lunch today. Something about how she didn’t gain weight when she was pregnant to keep my dad happy.” Bender wrinkles his nose, probably also disgusted by the thought of her parents together.

“Your parents are fucking weird, we already knew that,” he says and she laughs. She can’t say that he’s wrong.

“Well, I’m not my mother and I’m going to gain weight. This baby has cravings,” she says.

“You’re worried about me?” Bender says, his tone incredulous. “You’re creating a whole new human being in your body and you’re worried about what I think?”

“I just don’t want you to regret this,” Claire blurts out and as much as she wishes that she hadn’t, she needs him to hear it.

He looks at her for a long moment, studying her in a way that makes her feel too vulnerable. She’s about to look away when his expression changes. “Sweets,” he says and she lights up at the sound of her old nickname. “I hate to break it to you, but I’m always going to think that you’re hot.”

Claire laughs and she’s crying again. “Always?”

“Always,” he says. “We’re married now. I’m going to find you hot even when we’re old and wrinkly and our kids are all grown and have kids of their own. You better get that through your head.” He pokes her forehead with his pointer finger.

She would say something back, but she’s so choked up by tears that she can’t even speak. She always gets overwhelmed when he’s like this. He leans down and kisses her again softly. “I know I shouldn’t listen to my mom,” she says when he pulls away. “If low self-esteem were a competition, she’d win every time.”

“We’re not like them, Cherry,” he says and she grimaces at the evidently untrue nickname. “Our souls aren’t dead yet.”

“You’re right,” Claire says, smiling. “Our souls aren’t dead.” After a beat, she brushes his hair back. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says. “I’m gonna go run through the shower before we go meet the others for dinner.” He pinches her shoulder lightly before standing up again. Claire watches him go, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

Tonight she’s going to sit at dinner with her best friends and her husband and she’s going to enjoy it. Screw her parents, she’s got her own life to live.

~~
Allison sits in between his legs, her back against his chest. The lavender scented bubbles surround them like a white cloud, and Andy plays with the ends of her hair with his fingers.

It’s nice being back together, it’s like how it was years ago when it first began. He loves her now as much as he did then, but in a different way.

She turns her head to the side and presses a soft kiss against his shoulder.

“We have to get up,” Andy says, wrapping his arms around her. “We’ll be late for dinner.”

Allison curls closer into his chest and he smiles. They just got back from a session with Allison’s psychologist. When she got back from California, and she did come back, she moved into Brian’s apartment. She’s rarely ever there, choosing to spend her time at Andy’s place. One night while they were in bed, Andy asked if she had ever talked to anyone after she graduated from school.

The answer was no, but the following day, Allison called around until she found one. Andy has been with her a few times, just to talk things out, and he thinks that it’s helping. Allison hasn’t given up on it yet, so he takes it as a win.

“We really have to get ready,” Andy repeats, but when Allison sits up, he misses her warmth immediately. She pulls the plug of the bathtub and the water starts to drain.

“Let’s do it, then,” Allison says as she stands up.

“Yes,” Andy says, joining her and leaning over to press a kiss to her lips. “Let’s.”

Before Andy can stop her, she reaches behind her and turns on the shower head, blasting him with cold water. Before he can react in any way, she reaches up and brushes a wet strand of hair out of his face. He finds that he can’t be mad about it because she laughs with her whole chest.

~~
“How do I look?” She asks and Brian looks up from the book he was reading.

She’s wearing a short red dress with her hair pulled back and as he looks at her, he finds that he has no idea why she’s asking him. She, as always, looks perfect.

“Beautiful,” he says, dropping his book to the side and approaching her. “As always.”

“You flatter me any more, my ego might grow too big for this apartment,” she jokes as she turns around, motioning for Brian to zip up the back of her dress.

This thing with Laurie came out of nowhere and blew up fast. They work together, on opposite sides of the same floor, and they practically live together. It turns out that Laurie has had a crush on Brian as long as Brian has on her. It was a wild revelation, one that still excites him if he thinks about it.

They didn’t tell anyone for a month or so, enjoying the secrecy and lack of drama. At first, Brian was worried that Allison would find out since she technically lives with him, but she was never home and always at Andy’s place.

Eventually though, everyone found out. Apparently, most of them suspected the entire time.

Tonight, they’re getting dressed up to go to a nice dinner with his friends who, in the years following graduation, have become Laurie’s friends too.

“Ready?” Laurie asks. All he has to do is tie his tie, so he nods. She reaches up and knots the fabric, sticking her tongue out slightly while she focuses.

“Now you’re ready,” Laurie says, pulling the knot tight. He leans down and kisses her lightly.

“Let’s go,” Brian says, wrapping his arm around her waist and leading them outside.

~~
The dinner place Claire picked out is nice, nicer than anywhere Bender has been in a long time. They don’t eat out very often and when they do, they usually just go to Al’s for breakfast.

Claire insisted on a nice dinner since everyone is in town and is getting along. The honeymoon flew by and before he knew it, they were back in Illinois. He liked Paris and London too, but he mostly enjoyed watching Claire in her element. She practiced her French and made him eat all the fancy food served to them while Bender fell more in love.

Allison and Andy made up after the wedding and got back together shortly after Allison came back from California. While Bender expected them to be fine once they had a conversation, he was surprised that Andy forgave her so quickly.

Brian and Laurie started dating some time in there, but Bender can’t remember exactly when. Things have been busy at work and as Claire’s pregnancy has progressed, the more distracted he’s become. They’ve been accumulating baby stuff since they got back from the honeymoon and they have set up a crib in their bedroom.

With every new item they buy and every doctor’s appointment, the reality of impending parenthood seeps in a little more.

Claire gets stopped in public by strangers with no boundaries who touch her stomach without asking and ask her when she’s due. Bender’s immediate reaction is usually anger, but Claire is patient in a way that those people don’t deserve.

Claire is wearing a dress she bought just for the the occasion, and because it’s a maternity dress, she likely won’t have another opportunity to wear it any time soon. She looks beautiful, but Bender always thinks she does.

She’s no longer upset about what her mother said to her for now. Bender hopes that it was just her mother and that he hasn’t said anything in recent years make her feel that way. He’s made it his new goal to make sure that she never feels like that again.

He’s sitting next to her at the circular table as their friends file in, Andy and Allison showing up first. A couple minutes later, Brian and Laurie arrive. Bender has to admit that he doesn’t really mind Laurie’s company, especially since she started dating Brian.

Claire chats with Allison on one side while Bender half listens to Brian talking about computers. It’s not that Bender doesn’t care about what Brian has to say, he just doesn’t really understand it. He mechanically understands how a computer works, but coding is a whole other story.

Soon enough, the waiter delivers their drinks. Claire, Bender, and Allison opted for soda while Laurie got a mixed drink of some kind and Brian and Andy ordered beers. When the waiter walks away, Brian lifts up his drink.

“A toast,” Brian says.

“To what?” Allison asks, a smirk on her face.

Brian rolls his eyes and raises his glass higher. “To us.”

Brian’s sentimentality always rears its head whenever they’re all together, but Bender has found that he’s been sentimental in his own right lately. He looks over at Claire, who is holding up her glass of soda water and is already smiling at him. He then turns to looks at Brian, who is still holding his glass up.

“To us,” Bender says, clinking his glass against Brian’s.

~~
Andy is naked and wrapped in his comforter when he realizes that Allison is pretending to be asleep next to him.

He knows her inside and out, learning her patterns again after the two and a half year break, and he knows from past experience that Allison pretending to do anything is a bad sign.

“Allie,” Andy says, reaching his hand over and findings hers in the pile of blankets. When they got home from dinner, Allison was all over him from the second they walked through the door. He took it in stride at the time, just happy to have her close, but now that he thinks about it, she is behaving just how she did at the lake house.

“Allie,” he says again. “I know you’re awake.”

Allison rolls onto her back and looks him, her bangs covering her eyes in the dark. “I wasn’t hiding,” she says. “I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” Andy says, but he already knows.

“I was trying to come up with a way to tell you without hurting you like I did last time,” Allison says and Andy’s heart sinks. “I have to leave.”

Andy takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

“I’m claustrophobic here,” she says. “And it has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”

Andy exhales. “Okay,” he says again, “but can we wait a couple of months? Claire’s due soon and I’m about to graduate from my law program.”

“We?” Allison says, furrowing her brow.

“Well, yeah,” Andy says. “You weren’t planning on going without me, were you?”

Allison looks stunned speechless which surprises Andy a bit, because doesn’t she know he would cross the Earth on foot for her? “I don’t want to drag you along,” she finally says, picking her fingers on her free hand.

“You know I’d do anything for you,” he says.

“I would do the same for you,” Allison says. “You know that. I just don’t want you to have to.”

“I already told you that I wanted to see the world with you. There’s no time like the present, right?”

“What can you do with a law degree abroad?” Allison asks, tucking her arm under her head.

“I’ll figure it out,” he says, rolling over on his side to face her straight on. “Why are you trying to talk me out of this?”

“I don’t know,” Allison says. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes, Allison,” Andy says. “There’s nothing keeping me here and I want to go where you want to go.”

Allison stares at him for a while before leaning forward and pressing her lips to his. “I don’t deserve this from you.”

“It’s also for me,” Andy says before kissing her again. “We’re going to be just fine.”

“Yes,” she says, smiling so wide he can see her teeth in the dark. “Yes, we will.”

~~
Another month or so passes and Allison is officially moved out of Brian’s apartment. While she packed her boxes and prepared for her and Andy’s trip abroad, Laurie all but completely moved in and took her place in his apartment.

This is the best relationship Brian’s ever been in. It’s simple: he loves her and she feels the same way. Of course, he hasn’t said it yet, it feels too early. He’s sure that she’s aware of the full extent of his feelings.

Brian is waiting for the doorbell to ring while Laurie is doing her make up in the upstairs bathroom. Larry and Anne Lester are coming over for dinner and Anne is bringing her new boyfriend along. Brian kept in touch with the Lesters after graduation and when he started dating Laurie, he made it clear to her that getting along with them was important to him.

He wasn’t expecting Laurie to call Anne and personally apologize for everything that happened in high school right away, but that’s exactly what she did. Laurie met Anne for dinner to hash things out and ever since then, a bimonthly dinner date has occurred at Brian’s apartment.

Things are about to change though, as Larry just got engaged to his college girlfriend and is planning on following his fiancée to Texas. Brian feels weird, because even though he’s in a serious relationship and has a “grown-up” job, he feels like everyone around him is growing up faster than he is.

The doorbell breaks through his thoughts and when Brian reaches the door, he pulls it open. “Hey, Larry,” Brian says, stepping aside to let him in. “Where’s Anne and her new guy?”

“They’re right behind me,” Larry says. “I seriously think there’s someone out there who has it out for me.”

“What do you mean?” Brian says, holding up his arms to take Larry’s coat.

“Just wait and see,” Larry says, and before Brian can ask any follow up questions, Laurie appears in the entryway.

“Hi, Larry,” she says, offering him a smile. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright,” he says. “You?”

Laurie smiles and is about to answer him until something over Brian’s shoulder catches her eye. She raises an eyebrow as Brian hears the door open.

“Stubby?” She asks, and Brian turns around to see Andy’s ex-best friend from high school standing in the doorway of his apartment with his arm around Larry’s sister.

“Murphy,” he says as Brian shuts the door behind him. “It’s been a while.”

Laurie leads Anne and Stubby further into the apartment and Larry nudges Brian’s shoulder. “See what I mean?”

“Yeah,” Brian says, hanging Larry’s coat on a hook and looking after them in disbelief. “I do.”

~~
Brian quickly finds out that Anne and Stubby, who now goes by David, met at college when she was a sophomore and he was a junior. They reconnected recently when Stubby showed up at school for some alumni event and she was there organizing it.

Brian understands why Larry thinks that someone out there has a sick sense of humor. He can’t seem to escape the old popular crowd from high school. Stubby seems nice enough, but he’s a lot more quiet than Brian remembers. He doesn’t say much of anything, instead spending most of the night looking at Anne and responding to Laurie’s occasional question.

Dinner flies by, mostly due to the conversation, and soon enough they’re getting ready to leave.

“You’ll come and visit, right?” Larry asks as Brian loads dishes into the dishwasher and Laurie gets Anne and Stubby’s coats. “Janet would love to have you.”

“Of course I will,” Brian says. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too, Bri,” Larry says, laying a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve been through a lot together.”

Brian thinks back to their childhood, to middle school, to the physics club. During every big event in his life, Larry was always there.

“This growing up thing really sucks,” Brian says. Larry squeezes his hand before dropping it down by his side.

“You’ve done alright for yourself,” Larry says.

“We all have,” Brian says as Laurie, Anne, and Stubby rejoin them. “Give me a call when you get settled.”

“Of course,” Larry says, smiling.

Brian feels like it’s the end of an era. He’s been feeling like that a lot lately, with Allison and Andy planning on leaving for an indefinite period of time and Bender and Claire about to have a kid. With Larry leaving on top of that, Brian feels as though he’s getting left behind again.

Before he can get too lost in his head, Laurie wraps her arm around his waist and it grounds him. The Lesters and Stubby say their goodbyes and Brian and Laurie watch them leave from the doorway.

“Are you okay?” Laurie asks as Brian shuts the front door.

Brian looks down at her and presses a soft kiss to her forehead. “Yeah,” he says, “I’m okay.”

“Good, because I have an idea.”

“An idea?”

“You know how you’ve been trying to convince me to watch those Star Wars movies?” Laurie asks and Brian raises his eyebrows. “Consider me convinced.”

Brian can’t hold back the smile that forms on his face. So maybe the old era is over, but this new one seems like it’ll be just as good.

“Well, you can’t back out now,” he says, leading them to the living room.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Laurie says as she settles on the couch while Brian digs into the VHS drawer. “The only thing I know about these movies is that Luke has a father, but I couldn’t tell you who.”

Brian laughs as he pulls out A New Hope. “You better prepare yourself for a wild ride.”

“Oh, I’m ready,” Laurie says.

“Good,” Brian says and he presses play.

~~
“Fuck,” Claire says. “Fucking shit.”

“What?” Bender says, fighting the panic instinct to slam on the breaks in the middle of the highway. Claire rarely swears.

They’re on their way to meet Patrick and Jimmy at a restaurant in the city. They’re leaving for Boston in a month and Claire has been trying to spend as much time with them as possible before they move.

“I think I just ruined your truck,” she says and she groans. “And I think my water just broke.”

”Oh fuck,” Bender says and all thoughts of lunch leave his brain. “Shit, okay. Hospital?”

“I don’t know, I’m not prepared for this. She’s early,” Claire says and Bender can hear her voice quiver.

Bender switches lanes to get off the next exit and spares a quick look over at Claire, who is tearing up. “She?”

Claire lets out a laugh that sounds like a sob. “I have a feeling.”

It sinks in, not for the first time, that Bender is about to be a father. For some reason, he always figured it would be a boy. He doesn’t see himself as someone who could have a daughter.

“Okay,” Bender says. “Hospital.”

“Hospital,” Claire says. “Oh God.”

John doesn’t realize that he’s speeding until he pulls into the parking garage not five minutes later. At least, he thinks it was five minutes. He really has no way of knowing because of the adrenaline rushing through his veins.

Claire groans as he pulls into a parking spot. “Ouch, what the fuck is that?”

Bender throws the car in park and looks over at her while she pushes against her back. “I think that would be a contraction, Sweets.”

“Oh God, I don’t like it,” Claire says. Bender knows from the parenting classes that Claire dragged him to that they are only going to get worse from here. He knows better than to say that out loud, so he just hops out of the car to go help her.

“Let’s get you inside,” Bender says after opening the passenger door and offering her his arm.

“Okay, but we will have to call the restaurant to tell Patrick and Jimmy that we aren’t coming,” Claire says and she groans again.

“Priorities, Claire,” Bender says as he watches her carefully get out of the car.

“Shut up,” she says, but she leans on him for support as he leads her inside.

~~
Labor takes a long time. Bender knew this in theory, especially since this is Claire’s first child, but he hadn’t expected to be sitting around for hours.

He called Patrick and Jimmy at the restaurant first, while Claire was getting checked in and brought to a room. Then, he called Allison and Brian. Now, he’s pacing around Claire’s hospital room while a nurse monitors her contractions and the baby’s heart rate.

“John, you’re stressing me out,” Claire says from where she’s lying in bed.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, settling at the end of her bed.

“Another contraction coming,” the nurse says as Claire clutches her abdomen. Bender stands up again and stations himself at the head of her bed. She grabs his hand as he coaches her to breathe, just like he was taught in the classes.

It fades after a while and Claire’s grip on his hand loosens. Once Claire’s breathing evens out again, she wipes the back of her hand across her forehead. “This fucking hurts,” she says, turning her head towards him. “You did this to me.”

“It takes two to tango, Sweets,” he says and he barely dodged the punch she throws towards his arm.

“Go check to see if our friends are here before I have another contraction,” she says, grimacing as she tries to reposition. “Or before I kill you. Whichever happens first.”

Bender rolls his eyes but drops a kiss on her forehead before leaving the room. “Try not to miss me too much.”

“Won’t be an issue,” she says, groaning again.

Bender walks down the hall towards the waiting room. When he rounds the corner, he sees Allison, Brian, Andy, Laurie, Patrick, and Jimmy taking up most of the chairs. When they see him, they all stand up almost simultaneously.

“At ease,” Bender says. “I’m not the president.”

“How is she?” Andy asks as everyone watches Bender with wide eyes.

“She’s okay,” Bender says, “but it’s going to be a while.” With that, everyone sits back down again. As he looks around at his friends and Claire’s family, he realizes that some important people are missing. “Has anyone called her parents yet?”

The looks that he gets in response tell him everything he needs to know. “We thought you might have already,” Brian says, having the good idea to look sheepish.

“It probably isn’t a good idea for us to be here when they get here,” Patrick says. “They wouldn’t like it.”

“Well, Claire wants you here, so they’ll have to deal. I’ll have the nurse call them when she gets closer,” Bender says, eager to shift the responsibility to someone who isn’t him.

“Get back in there,” Allison says, sending him a smirk.

Bender shakes his head, but turns around and heads back down he hallway he came.

~~
Labor takes a long time, but it progresses quickly. Claire ends up in a squatting position with Bender trying to support her the best he can. The whole thing is a bit horrific and he doesn’t fully understand the whole “beauty of childbirth” thing, but he does know that he’ll never be able to give Claire a hard time about anything ever again.

Claire refused an epidural for some unknown (and in his opinion, incomprehensible) reason and she’s gripping his hand so hard that he knows it’s going to bruise. The doctor and the nurse assured them that she’s getting close.

“You can do this, Claire,” he says.

“Shut up,” she groans weakly, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“It’ll all be worth it in the end,” he says, trying to practice affirmations like he learned in the birthing class. “You’re doing amazing.”

“Shut up.”

~~
Labor takes a long time, but when it’s over it almost feels like it didn’t happen. Well, not exactly. She feels pain in places that she’s never felt pain before and she aches all over, but her baby is making the most adorable cooing noise and she finds that she doesn’t care at all.

Claire had really not emotionally prepared herself to see John Bender hold her baby in his arms.

“You were right,” he says.

“About what?” Claire says, her eyes locked on her baby and her husband.

“It’s a girl,” he says. “We never thought about names.”

“No we didn’t,” Claire says. She’s usually well-prepared for things like this, but picking baby names seemed to make something that didn’t feel real, real.

“We should probably brainstorm.”

“Probably a good idea.”

Her friends, her brother, and her parents have already cycled through and met the baby. Claire is so exhausted that she barely remembers it, but she’s pretty sure she asked Allison to be the baby’s godmother.

“What about Lily?” John asks. Claire furrows her brow at him but he doesn’t notice, his attention completely captured by their daughter.

“I like it,” Claire says. “Did you just come up with that?”

“It was my grandmother’s name on my mom’s side. She died when I was young, but she always looked out for me,” he says. Bender doesn’t talk much about his childhood, mainly because he doesn’t remember most of it. She always makes sure to give him her full attention when he does talk about it.

“I love it,” she says. “What about a middle name?”

“Allison?” Bender asks, looking up at her. Claire holds out her arms and John gently places her baby in her arms.

Her baby lets out a yawn and pushes one of her arms out of her swaddle. Claire offers her finger and her daughter wraps her hand around it. Before Claire starts crying, not for the first time today, she leans forward and presses a kiss to her soft head.

“Lily Allison Bender,” Claire says. “She’s perfect.”

“She is,” Bender says as Lily breaks her second hand free from the swaddle. John offers his finger and she wraps her hand around it.

“What now?” Claire whispers, unable to peel her eyes away from the tiny human in her arms.

“We’ll figure it out,” Bender says. “We always do.”

“I love you,” Claire says, tears threatening to spill over again.

“I’m not sure if you’re talking to me, but I love you too,” Bender says before leaning in and kissing her.

“Good,” she says. “Because everything is about to change.”

~~
When Allison wakes up, she immediately starts crying.

Andy, as sweet as he always is, jumps in to comfort her, even though he has no idea what’s going on.

“Allie, what’s wrong?” Andy says, rubbing her back.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Allison says, letting out a laugh through her tears. “We’re leaving today.”

“We are,” Andy says. “And that’s okay?”

He sounds nervous and when she realizes why, she reaches up and wipes her tears. She’s put him through so much, even though that was never her intention. She thought she was saving him from having to deal with her, but she now knows that her brain was playing tricks on her.

Still, she can’t take back the hurt that she caused him. However, she can do her best to make sure she doesn’t do it again.

Allison cups his face. “It’s more than okay.”

“So, why are you crying?” Andy asks.

Allison left last time without saying goodbye, she thought it would be easier that way. This time, she has to say goodbye to Brian, who has been so sweet since her return and has read all of her books cover to cover; to Laurie, who has become an unexpected friend; to Claire, who’s just had her first baby, a baby that shares Allison’s name; and to Bender, her brother and best friend.

Part of her wants to run and never look back like she always planned, but she’s not made for it anymore. She has a family now and this lovely boy in front of her who is willing to love her despite everything.

“I’m overwhelmed,” she says. “But I’m ready.”

“Good,” he says, “because we have to go.”

Allison looks over her shoulder at the clock. “Shit, we really have to go.”

“I’ll call a cab while you run through the shower,” Andy says, leaning over to pick his discarded shirt off the floor.

“Sounds like a plan, Sporto,” Allison says, kissing his forehead and dashing out of bed.

~~
“Babe, where’s that extra package of diapers?” Bender shouts, trying to make his voice heard over the running shower and the screaming baby.

“Should be in the diaper bag,” Claire yells back.

Bender wonders if it’s some kind of parent’s curse that they can never find the things they need when they’re in a rush. Lily keeps them up most of the night, crying to be fed, changed, or held. Because of their sleep deprivation, they slept in too late and now have to rush to get to the airport on time.

“Found them,” he says, pulling the package out of the bag. “Yes, I know that you’re upset, Peanut. I’m working on it.”

Lily continues to wail as Bender changes her diaper in record time. He’s gotten good at it over the last few weeks. Once the clean diaper is on, he zips up her onesie and picks her up.

“Hello,” he says, bouncing her up and down as her cries slow.

Claire opens the bathroom door with her hair still in a towel and takes her from him. “I’ll have to feed her on the way,” she says.

“We have to leave now if we’re going to make it to the gate in time,” Bender says, looking at his watch. He’s become a person who wears a watch and he doesn’t know how to feel about that at all.

“Let’s go then,” Claire says, making her way towards the door.

Bender reaches out and spins her around by her shoulder. He pinches the towel perched on her head between his fingers and pulls. The towel falls down and her damp red hair falls with it. Before she can protest too much, he leans over, being mindful of Lily, and pecks her lips.

“Now, let’s go,” he says, smiling as she rolls her eyes at him.

~~
“Where is everyone?” Brian asks, looking down at his watch, then up at the crowd in front of him.

“You’re always early to everything,” Laurie says, resting her head on his shoulder. “It’s an admirable trait, but not one that everyone else has."

“We’re not early, we’re on time. I’m surprised that Andy and Allison aren’t here,” Brian says, scanning the crowd again. “They’re cutting it close.”

“That’s not really out of character,” she says, taking his hand. “Stop fretting. They’ll get here.”

As if she willed it into existence, Claire and Bender make their way through the crowd, Bender holding Lily in his arms. Laurie jumps up and Brian follows, rushing forward to greet them.

“Thank God you’re here,” Laurie says, making a bee line towards Bender so she can get a look at Lily. “Brian was starting to worry.”

“Oh, we can’t have that,” Bender says, smirking at Brian. Brian knows he’s type A and he’s not ashamed of it.

“Andy and Allison are the ones who need to be on time,” Brian says as he cozies up behind his girlfriend to get a look at Lily Bender. She’s the cutest baby he has ever seen, but he may be a little biased.

“Well, luckily for you, here they are,” Claire says, nodding her head towards the crowd.

“Not luckily for me, luckily for them that they didn’t miss their flight,” Brian says, turning his gaze away from Lily and towards his friends.

When Allison and Andy approach, the friend group erupts, enveloping the two travelers in hugs. Bender hangs back with Lily, but Allison approaches him on her own. Brian doesn’t hear what she says because Andy punches his arm before pulling him close.

“I’m gonna miss you, Bri,” Andy says as Brian wraps his arms around him.

“I’m gonna miss you too.”

“Final call for boarding on Flight 257 to Ireland,” the flight attendant says over the loudspeaker.

“That’s you,” Brian says, pulling back.

And while he’s happy for them and he knows Claire and Bender are too, it’s going to be a lot different from now on. When Allison left the first time, it was hard to deal with because it was so unexpected, but he was able to talk to her on the phone when he wanted to. Andy was still around, even though he was heartbroken.

This time, two members of their group are leaving and they’re not going to be reachable by telephone. They’re moving on.

That’s life, and Brian has become accustomed to the changing tides. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when it happens.

“Ready Allie?” Andy says. Claire took Lily at some point so Bender could hug Allison and when she pulls back, she has tears in her eyes.

“I’m ready,” she says, reaching for his hand.

“I guess this is goodbye,” Andy says.

“Not on your life, Sporto,” Bender says. “You better call.”

“We will,” Allison promises.

“We love you,” Claire says as Andy picks up their bags.

“We love you too,” Allison says back.

Brian waves as they walk towards the gate entrance and doesn’t stop until they disappear into the tunnel. They’re the last people to board and the flight attendant shuts the door behind them.

“What now?” Claire asks.

“Al’s for lunch?” Bender suggests.

“That sounds amazing,” Laurie says, slipping her hand into his. “Does that sound good to you, Brian?”

Brian looks at his remaining friends and then back at the plane where Andy and Allison disappeared. He turns back to them and says, “Definitely.”