Chapter Text
“That's a new record, boyo, impressive work I must say” Thanatos heard in his ear as the simulation ended.
A rail-thin man with unkempt black hair and a baggy jumpsuit approached Than as he took off his helmet. “The Marshall wants to see you, asap” he said, taking the helmet from Than’s hands.
Thanatos silently handed the helmet over, deep in his own thoughts, why did the Marshal want to see him?
“Thanks Skelly” he replied as the man walked away suddenly remembering he was still there.
“No problem, boyo” the man shouted back.
Thanatos stuck his hands into the pockets of his black jeans and kept his head down as he headed towards the Marshal’s office. He could not figure out why he had suddenly been summoned. His simulations were above average, he had worked himself to death on the Jager restoration and attended all his sparring lessons. He had done nothing out of the ordinary to attract attention and he knew the Marshal only called on those that stepped out of line. He had other reasons for skirting around the Marshal, but those were not common knowledge and the fact that Thanatos knew at all made him a target.
He knocked on the door.
“Come in” called the gruff voice inside
“Ah, Thanatos, I was expecting you, please sit” he gestured towards a chair as Thanatos entered. Marshal Hades was an imposing man, his bulk almost blocking the sun out behind him. He had been one of the first pilots, rumor was he had fought with his brothers who then had all but abandoned the war efforts, leaving him behind. Thanatos took his hand from his pockets and tried to sit still as they faced each other.
“What would you like to speak to me about sir?”
Hades leaned forward and Thanatos caught a glimpse of his file on the desk.
“Thanatos, I see you have been reluctant to take the drift compatibility tests set up for you”
Thanatos exhaled slowly, so this was what it was about, of course.
“Sir, my compatibility score is low, I-” it was an excuse, they both knew the real answer, but Thanatos felt like he had to say something .
The chair grinded as Hades stood up, interrupting Than mid sentence. He scooted backwards on instinct, but Hades turned towards the window overlooking the sea.
“I recognize what happened at the Academy, Thanatos, but you are an officer now”
“But sir, I’ve been working on—” Thanatos knew he shouldn’t interrupt but Hades had hit a nerve he couldn't’ stop.
“Silence!” Hades barked, and Thanatos slunk back in his chair.
“I am building Jagers faster than I can replace pilots and I need every qualified pilot I can get. You, Thanatos are a more than capable pilot. It’s been almost a year, you must find a new partner. I don’t care about the Academy or the scores, you will take the compatibility tests, or you will find a new place to live”
“Yes sir” Thanatos barely mumbled
“What did you say?” Hades turned to face him, expressionless.
“Yes sir!” he stood up and saluted for good measure, and immediately walked out.
He stood in the hallway in a daze as people rushed around, not sure what to do next. The Marshal had caught him off guard, he hoped his performance on the restorations was enough to ignore the tests piling up in the last few months. He had made a new path for himself, one that didn’t require a partner.
He tried to head back to his room, tears stinging at the corner of his eyes, but his mother caught him first.
Nyx was the head officer of the Shatterdome under Marshal Hades, so she must have known of their conversation and had been waiting to catch Thanatos after. Techs scattered away in the hall as she approached, an imposing figure herself. Forgoing the traditional military uniforms for a flowing dress of black and purple, large gold earrings and deep dark eyes she made quite the impression.
“You are troubled” she said softly as she guided him by the arm towards her room. He merely nodded in response, not trusting his voice to not crack.
He flopped down into one of her huge chairs as she started preparing tea. He loved being in here. She had covered the walls in dark curtains to cover up the metal with small twinkling lights and the huge plush chairs, you could almost forget they lived in a military base. As children they had moved from Shatterdome to Shatterdome as Nyx was reassigned. But his mother had a way of making every place feel as cozy as a home.
She brought him her special fragrant tea and he appreciated its warmth, soothing him immensely. They sat in silence for a few minutes as was their custom, Nyx recognized Thanatos needed time to collect his thoughts.
“How have you been Mother? We hardly see each other anymore”
She sighed, “busier than ever, you should check on Hypnos more often, he misses you”
Thanatos made a mental note to try and see his brother in the mess, maybe he could help him with work.
“And Charon?”
Nyx smiled into her tea, “I suspect he is busier than usual as well with his “business”’ Than chuckled as well, they both knew Charon’s true love was money and right now money was in kaiju parts. In a few years it would be something else and he would change his business as he always did.
“You spoke with Hades?”
“Yes” he replied, taking another sip of tea, trying to stay calm, he knew this wasn’t just a personal visit.
“He would like you to find another partner?”
Thanatos sighed and put down his cup, leaning back in frustration. “Mother why can’t I continue my work? I am one of the best engineers we have and I am working myself to death to prove it”
She sat in the silence for a moment sipping her tea, much to Thanatos’ annoyance.
“Asterius predicts the kaiju are going to start arriving quicker than ever before. It is not common knowledge however”
“But I am still contributing, I am doing work that would take five people to replace!”
She sighed gently, her tea cup clinking against the saucer
“My child, I know this has been difficult for you, and I have held out as long as I could, but I believe you must let him go”
“I can’t, there’s— there’s no one else Mother, you must know this” he stood up quickly, he could not stand to hear this speech twice in a row.
“You must try”
Thanatos didn’t respond, already halfway through the door, he resisted the urge to slam it. He knew his mother was doing her best, but right now he couldn’t stand it.
He headed back to his own room finally, not wishing to hear anyone else’s advice. He fell face first on the pillow and let out a small scream. Wasn’t throwing himself into work letting go? He had accepted he would never be a pilot if he couldn’t have his partner back. Why couldn’t anyone else see that, he didn’t care about how great his simulator scores were or his improvement in sparring, it meant nothing. He knew things had been dark at the Academy, but that wasn’t him anymore, he had picked himself back up. He didn’t want to be the pilot everyone wanted him to be. He screamed in the pillow until he was out of breath and rolled over to stare at the cold grey ceiling until he drifted off. Maybe he wasn’t coming back, maybe it was for the best.
The pounding knock on the door woke Thanatos up, he groaned looking at the clock, it had to be Megara, he’d missed their usual training time. He looked around disoriented, he had fallen asleep in his clothes. He decided to answer the door first, Megara was not one to give up quickly.
“Oh” she scrunched up her face as Thanatos answered the door, “you look like shit” Thanatos merely nodded, he felt like shit, “Coffee? Protein Bar?” she offered cheerfully pushing the cup and bar into Thanatos’ hand. He accepted it gratefully, PPDC issue, tasted awful but got the job done. “I’ll uh give you a few minutes, I’ll be in the training room” she walked away before Than could answer, ponytail swishing behind her.
A year ahead of him at the Academy, Than considered Megara his closest friend. He wasn’t the most personable type but Megara had respected that and made friends mostly through actions and not words.
He downed the coffee, showered and changed clothes, eager to try and put yesterday behind him. Unfortunately, the Marshal and Nyx’s voices still echoed in his head despite his attempt at a good mood. He had luckily been given a one day reprieve on the drift compatibility tests to finish up his other work.
When he met Megara in the training room, he looked less like shit, but still felt like it.
She tossed him a stick and they bowed towards each other from each end of the mat. He ran towards her with all his emotions in tow. This was not usually how he sparred, he usually waited and watched for a weakness, but today felt different.
“You’re angry” she said moving easily out of the way
“And what about it?” Thanatos gasped as he ducked to avoid Meg’s staff, she caught him on the top of the shoulder anyways.
“One-zero, focus Than” he gritted his teeth and tried to catch her off guard and was given a face to the mat for his efforts.
“Two-zero” she said cooly waiting for Thanatos to get up.
He tried to clear his mind as he got up, not let his anger consume him. He patiently waited for an opening as Megara attacked, he found it and struck. “Two-one”
Megara smiled, ponytail swishing through the air as she avoided Than’s follow-up, “now there’s the Thanatos I used to know”
Their staffs met in the middle as each one tried to push the other off balance,
“Is this about Za—”
Thanatos pushed away, he could barely stand to hear the name anymore. He walked off the mat, willing to let Megara win this time.
“I don’t want to talk about it” he said, sitting down on the bench head in his hands.
She sat down on the bench next to him, patiently waiting for him to say something. She knew he couldn’t resist letting it out at some point.
“He’s not coming back is he?” Than said after a long silence.
“Maybe, maybe not” Megara shrugged, she continued “Than he’s holding you back and he’s not even here”
“Why does everyone care so much?” he muttered, he wasn’t used to anyone being this involved in his affairs.
“Some people care because you’re the best pilot out of the new class, I care because you’re hurt and I can’t stand to see it”
Thanatos huffed at that, he didn’t need anyone’s pity or sympathy.
“Because I’m your friend Than” she continued, patting the top of his hand.
“Meg, what if I don’t want to be a pilot anymore?”
She sighed, “you know I don’t know anything about that Than, I’m just a fighting instructor, maybe you should talk to Achilles”
He knew she was right, he was just loath to admit it, or talk to anyone else.
“But if you really want to get that anger out we can do a race around the dome” she smiled at him, she knew he couldn’t resist a competition.
“What’s the prize?” he smiled back
“Coffee delivery for a week?”
“You’re on” and he took off running with Meg right behind him. There wasn’t much room to think when he was running and he was grateful for the quiet.
They returned to the training room, exhausted but exhilarated. Meg had won but just barely, and now Thanatos was on the hook for coffee delivery.
He picked up his stuff and stretched, “I have to do compatibility tests tomorrow so I better go finish up on work”
“Good luck” Meg rolled her eyes.
“You don’t like the new kids?”
She laughed, “I think there’s some promise there, but they’re getting younger and younger and somehow that’s almost worse than the old military vets”
“Great” Thanatos said, rolling his eyes this time.
He paused at the door and looked back at Megara, “thanks, for everything” he said
She nodded, “you’re welcome, but don’t forget my coffee tomorrow, or we’ll do ten laps”
Thanatos fake saluted “yes ma’am” and he heard her laugh as he walked away.
He went to his room to rinse off and change into his work jumpsuit. His nervousness about tomorrow was starting to creep up on him but work would clear his mind. His stomach reminded him he had only had a protein bar for breakfast, and it had just passed the peak lunch time, perfect. The mess would be mostly deserted and he could catch up on his work reports in relative peace. He headed towards the mess, tablet in hand.
On the way, Thanatos paused as he heard a commotion coming from the hangar bay ahead. It seemed to be a lot of shouting and Thanatos decided to investigate. He wanted to make sure no one was hurt or needed a superior officer. He pushed through the crowd to get to the front and the source of the commotion suddenly became obvious. A shorter dark haired man was arguing with an officer, sounding like he had no credentials but had gotten on the base anyways and was demanding to see the Marshal. Thanatos felt his heart jump to his throat as he heard the man’s familiar voice. He dared to step closer and the man turned around, sensing his presence. His eyes, one red one green stared at Thanatos. He opened his mouth but Than was quicker, though he only managed one word.
“Zagreus?!”