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Today was a big night, of course it was, after all, it's not every day that you can find Oikawa Toru and Miya Atsumu in the same place, drunk to the point they can't even remember where they are or why they were there in the first place.
Being the people they were, their friends wouldn't let this special occasion pass like it was nothing, for they could obtain new blackmail material from the pair.
"Welcome to the contest where you try to win over Kageyama Tobio's heart! Ready to play?," Tanaka started to narrate while being filmed by Suna, who focused on the pair before returning to the host of the contest, "in this corner we have the first contestant, a player who can bring out 120% of his team and lets not forget his fucking accurate serves, known as 'The Great King' Oikawa Toru!"
"Yahoo~ I'm ready to capture Tobio-chan's~ heart!," Oikawa exclaimed excitedly as he leaned his face on his palm, forcing his eyes to not close due to his tiredness.
"That's the attitude!," Tanaka said encouraging him before quickly returning to his presentation, "in the other corner we have the man with the most damn annoying serves, which of his three serves will he show? The man capable of making monstrously quick attacks that can beat even the best players, Miya Atsumu!"
"Yup, three steps and I'm gonna win Tobio-kun's heart!," Atsumu responded messing with his hair attempting to fight off his drowsiness.
Zooming out and showing both men, Suna cursed between his teeth as he saw that for his misfortune, the bastards didn't have a bad angle, even when they were so close to falling over because of the excessive amounts of alcohol they had drank beforehand, they didn't look bad on camera.
"Great! Let's continue!," Tanaka said quickly as he ignored the pair's 'lovestruck' faces as they watched Kageyama who was at a distance, completely oblivious to the situation, "the first question is! What would you do if Tobio saw you surrounded by Fangirls? You have one minute to respond."
"Me! Oikawa Toru!," he hit the bar table slightly as if it was a button, earning to speak before the blond.
"Okay! Your answer is?," Karasuno's ex wing spiker bolstered the brown-haired man to give his answer.
"I would tell him he can join, it would be great hearing Tobio-chan praising how incredible I am," he answered while imagining the scene, "maybe Tobio-chan would be blushing as he said something like 'I also think you are great, Oikawa-san' while being among my admirers, fighting for my attention."
"Errr! Rejected, how narcissistic can you be?," Tanaka said baffled by the response as well as Suna who rolled his eyes.
"My turn', Miya Atsumu here!," after childishly sticking his tongue out to the other, he looked at the host to answer the question, "if I got Tobio-kun by my side, I don't need those squealin' pigs, they can all go to hell. Tobio-kun is the most adorable person there is!”
"Ding! Way too harsh on the women, but I think that you are loyal to your heart, so he passed?," Tanaka looked at Suna, asking for a second opinion.
"It's less shady than the idea of Tobio fighting with girls to get someone's attention, so I say he does pass," Suna said shrinking his shoulders while continuing with job, documenting everything which will be used as valuable material later.
"Good! First point is for Miya Atsumu!," Tanaka celebrated as he patted Atsumu's back who was smirking at Oikawa with superiority, "second question! Tobio asks you to teach him how to do a play or move, would you help him?"
"Here! Miya Atsumu!," the blond called quickly this time, he revived a nod from Tanaka and continued with a smile, " c'ourse not! I wanna d'stroy Tobio and prove who's the best! In any case, I'd watch his plays and learn 'em to use 'em 'gainst him. Like that quick with Shoyo-kun!"
"Errr! Errr! Rejected! What the fuck is wrong with you buddy?," Tanaka asked baffled at the revelation.
"Your personality really is like dirty water, Atsumu," Suna mentioned with a with a disapproving expression.
"Me! Oikawa Toru!," the other suddenly interrupted the situation, without caring about the upset look Suna and Tanaka had on because of the interruption, "I would say no, Tobio-chan learned everything by watching me, so he would rather watch me play than ask me to teach him!"
Both 27 year old men stared at the brunette, trying to comprehend the fact. He had given a good answer, yet the tone he used said otherwise, they looked at each other before finally nodding.
"Good, point for Oikawa," Suna said focusing on said person, he was making a ridiculous peace sign gesture towards the camera.
"Last question! Since I doubt we can continue if your answers continue to be as they've been," Tanaka sighed tiredly, his partner with the camera nodded in agreement, being with the pair was really draining, "what does Tobio look for in a partner?"
Both men answered simultaneously, hitting the bar with the full force of their hands, smiling self-satisfied before giving their answer, "Someone like me, obviously!"
"Errr! Rejected, I'm sure that Tobio doesn't have that bad of a taste in men," Suna commented while he smirked amusingly as he watched the indignant faces of the pair.
"I totally agree but, the contest has come to an end!," Tanaka announced before becoming serious as he stared at the narcissist pair who stared back, "both of ya'll lose, too bad."
"That ain't fair!," Atsumu screeched before pointing an accusing finger at the pair.
"Atsu-chan is right, we all know that I should've won this," Oikawa complained making all eyes fall on him.
" 'Scuse me? Toru-kun, but we all know that I should've won," Atsumu said with a smile on his face.
"Oh come on, Atsu-chan, we both know that Tobio-chan prefers me," Oikawa commented while taking a sip of his forgotten drink on the bar, "I was his role-model after all."
"Role-models change Toru-kun, 'fter all, Tobio-kun is focused on beatin' me 'very time we face off," Atsumu put in once again taking a sip of his drink, "plus I'm all he's lookin' for."
"Oh really?," Oikawa asked forcing a smile on his face.
" 'Course. I'm attractive, play volleyball and my brother makes all his favorite dishes. I meet all his strandards," he responded while facing off with Oikawa's look, deciding to return the forced smile.
"Do you even know Tobio-chan's type? Because what you're saying doesn't sound like something he'd like," he commented taking another sip from his drink without losing eye contact with Atsumu.
"Oh, makes it sound like ya' know what he wants, do ya' Toru?," Atsumu taunted.
The atmosphere around both setter's turned tense, both interchanged forced smiles, the alcohol flowing in their veins preventing them from remembering what they were doing together that night, Suna interrupted their glaring completion and as if reading their thoughts...
"Why don't both of you simply go and ask him what his type is?," Suna asked rolling his eyes by such a ridiculous situation, he turned and looked at his boyfriend who was nodding vigorously at the suggestion.
"Rintaro is right, finish off your drinks and go face your challenge, only one will come out triumphant," Tanaka insisted, giving the duo slight pats on the back as they finished up their drinks in one go, "go on!"
"Understood!," both responded in sync, full attention on the blue-eyed setter, if they would've just turned and look at the evil smirks plastered on the couple's faces, they would've prevented a bigger embarrassment.
On their way towards Tobio, they couldn't help shoving each other due to the almost non-existent balance they had in their drunken state. The shoves quickly turned into pushes with no force behind them, both wary that those "hits" didn't harm their faces in any way, completely oblivious to raven's blue-eyed gaze.
"What are they supposed to be doing?," Tobio asked his friends, who found the sight of the pair amusing.
"Being stupid," Futakuchi automatically responded.
"More than usual, of course," Hanamaki commented while Osamu, who was at his side, nodded in agreement as he watched how his twin brother almost fell over.
"What did I do to deserve this," Tobio murmured softly observing the two noisy men walking towards them.
Sometimes, very few times, Tobio found himself pondering if he unleashed a type of karma upon himself because of how egocentric he had been with his Kitagawa Daiichi team. Being honest, he really couldn't believe his bad luck.
Just like Sugawara-san had once told him, he was a magnet for narcissistic bastards. At the time, the third year had named Oikawa the main one. He couldn't deny that statement because, well, the brunette met all the requirements to be labeled as a narcissistic bastard. He had been extremely naive in believing that there wasn't anyone as bothersome as the Seijoh setter, but saying that was like attracting karma upon himself since shortly after he met narcissistic bastard #2 this time named by Tanaka, Miya Atsumu. They were simply rivals on the court, so he had nothing to worry about, was what Daichi-san had told him and he believed that, but Karma is a bitch to Kageyama Tobio. The next few years he found himself besieged by the pair, they'd look for ways to be by his side and make him nervous, argument enough to why now, with 25 years, he was witness of how the two adults ages 27 and 28 respectively, tried to pathetically punch each other.
"Idiots," he sighed tiredly as he went back to paying attention to Osamu, Futakuchi and Hanamaki's conversation.
He kept talking comfortably with his friends until he felt the narcissistic pair arriving, leaning themselves on the table they slipped making their foreheads collide on it, the pair's deafening groans made him wince.
"Tobio-chan! What type of guys do you like?," Oikawa unexpectedly exclaimed, covering the blond's mouth with his hand.
Before he could even ask what was happening, he was interrupted by Futakuchi's laughter who was staring at the pair with a devilish look on his eyes before meeting his blue eyes, asking for permission for whatever he was planning. Tobio looked at the pair before him, on their faces genuine curiosity could be seen, he immediately connected the dots. Drunk, Atsumu and Toru looked like they didn't have the slightest idea where they were at, but they were more interested in the type of guy he liked, sighing tiredly before getting his attention back at Futakuchi, he nodded his head.
"Oh? So you guys are interested in that, we were just talking about that, right?," Futakuchi smirked as he scanned his friends who smiled complaisantly.
"Of course, ya'll are interested in knowing Tobio's type, right?," Hanamaki followed his lead while taking a sip of his drink.
"Yes, what type of guy do ya' like?," Atsumu asked shoving Oikawa's hand off of his mouth.
Both Hanamaki and Futakuchi glanced sideways at each other, knowing precisely that the other two wouldn't interrupt the little game they had in store for the pair.
"He likes dark hair," Futakuchi started off while he gave himself the luxury of taking a sip of Tobio's drink who didn't looked bothered.
"I have dark hair!," boasted Oikawa, messing-up his effectively, dark hair if you took into consideration that Atsumu was a blond, bleached but he ultimately had blond hair. The older setter couldn't hold back from doing his famous 'baka-baka' expressions at Atsumu to annoy him.
"He also said he finds Atsumu's looks attractive," Hanamaki mentioned looking at the blond.
"Ha! Tobio-kun likes my face!," mocked Atsumu sticking out his tongue at Oikawa.
"Though he said he prefers someone with a calm nature," Futakuchi added, smirking even more when the par stopped their clowning and sat down correctly.
"He also said he would like someone who plays volleyball," Hanamaki said observing how the pair started to cheer up again.
"Clearly, there's only one person that fits the description of Tobio's ideal type, right Makki?," Futakuchi pressed resisting a laugh, eyeing his boyfriend who was in the same boat.
Both Oikawa and Atsumu's full attention was focused on Futakuchi's words, nervousness growing within them. Who fits the standards of the love of their lives? They stiffly sat observing how Hanamaki wore a smile, enjoying the setter's anguish.
"Of course, Futa," Hanamaki laughed softly before smiling amusingly at the desperate pair before him who were itching for an answer, "it's obviously Osamu!"
"Huhhh?!," they both exclaimed, eyes instantly on said person.
Dark hair...yes, Osamu had darker hair than Oikawa.
He found Atsumu's looks attractive...Osamu's face was literally identical to Atsumu's!
Calm nature? Osamu did have that type of personality. Volleyball player? Yes, but he didn't play anymore...though he was a spiker and they were setters. Oh God, he is Tobio's ideal type, their biggest competition was right in front of them sharing a drink with Tobio while they were arguing.
"No! You can't choose him Tobio-chan! He wouldn't make you as happy as I can," Oikawa complained, taking the raven's right hand in his.
" 'Samu, yer a fuckin' traitor! How could' ya do that to me?!," Atsumu exclaimed infuriated before taking the blue-eyed setter's left hand in his, "Tobio-kun, forget 'bout him and choose me! Ain't no one gonna love ya' like me."
Both of their gazes were fixated on the raven who studied them with those alluring blue eyes filled with an inexplicable sparkle, he took a breath before looking at them with a slight smile on his face.
"M' sorry, I'm happily married," Tobio responded softly, gaze signaling at his right hand.
After said words, both focused their attention on the raven's right hand, taking note that indeed. In that place rested a beautiful ring, giving them a taunting 'hello' like slap on the face because of how well it complemented that delicate hand, they felt tears running down their cheeks instantly. What was all that? Did they never have a chance? They'd lost the love of their lives? That last thought made them start crying uncontrollably on the table, completely ignoring that Tobio was watching them in said state, completely ignoring the identical rings also resting on their right ring fingers.
"Shouldn't ya' tell 'em yer married to them idiots?," Osamu asked as he watched his brother with disgust since said male was wiping his buggers off on the brunette's shirt, "ugh 'Tsamu that's gross."
As he watched the uncontrollable tears running down his partners' cheek's, which made them look extremely unattractive, Tobio merely giggled softly as he finished the last of his drink—just a bit longer, it's their fault for getting drunk out of their minds on their second anniversary.
That's how the night ended, with Atsumu and Toru bawling their eyes out because the cute raven of their dreams was married...married to them, but they were too drunk to remember that simple detail.