Work Text:
"...So I wrapped my arm around his waist, like so, and said, 'actually, he's my boyfriend'." Tim ended his speech with a flourish, squeezing Martin tighter to his side and swishing his free hand through the air like a particularly smug magician revealing his trick.
Jon stopped in his tracks.
"What did the guy do?" Sasha asked, smiling.
"Turned beet red, muttered 'no offence meant,' and turned tail to hide back in the shop." Tim let go of Martin's waist, grabbing him by one hand and twirling him under his arm. Martin, laughing, went along with it, clutching at Tim's shoulder for balance when he came to a stop. "And that's how you deal with that," Tim declared with finality.
Sasha shook her head. "You certainly have a unique way of approaching the world, Tim."
He was probably about to respond to that; Martin and Sasha were both looking at him in anticipation, and his hands were held elevated in the air, ready to express his next point...
But he never got the chance, because Jon finally managed to unstick his jaw and croak out a faint: "You're dating?"
He expected it to come out faint, at least. From the way his head felt light, and the room seemed to be spinning slightly around him, and how it felt like he was speaking through a throat filled with cotton balls.
Instead, when his ears heard his own voice, it sounded startlingly casual: "Oh, you're dating?"
The three turned in unison to face him, caught halfway across the room with an armload of papers he had been on his way to file. Martin, as he always did, smiled upon seeing Jon; Jon, as he always did, kept that smile in the periphery of his vision, knowing if he looked at it head-on he'd never be able to look away.
He looked at Tim instead, and Tim grinned.
"Sure," he said, "didn't you know? We haven't exactly been trying to hide it." He tossed his arm over Martin's shoulders, and Martin shot him a surprised look with raised eyebrows, but didn't say anything.
Something in Jon's chest broke, but he found himself with a pleasant smile on his face and a vaguely apologetic tone of voice. "Ah- no, no, I didn't, I'm afraid. I don't really... pay attention to that sort of thing. How long have you been together?"
Tim huffed out a breath, frowning down at Martin as he thought. "Hmm, how long have we been doing this? Must be going on three years, yeah?"
Martin shrugged. He seemed a bit uncomfortable with the conversation, but he didn't deny Tim's words.
Jon felt like he'd been punched, but his voice was still, somehow, blandly cordial. "Three- three years, really? You've been together since before we joined the Archives?"
"Yep," Tim confirmed.
"Oh, I... I'm sorry I didn't know. That's- that's probably something I should know about my... my friends."
"Eh, not a big deal," Tim was still grinning. "We'd have said something if it was important, wouldn't we, Martin?"
Martin squeaked. It was a rather undignified sound, and one that he always made when he was surprised with a question and not ready to answer, and Jon usually found it terribly endearing. Now, all he felt was lead, settling heavy and inevitable into his stomach.
"Yes... yes, I'm sure you would have." Jon took a light breath, and felt whatever had been keeping him stable up until this point drain away. He plastered on a smile, and took his leave. "Well, I should- go. I've got... filing."
In the hallway, heading for the stacks, he was finally able to catch his breath, and the world settled in its spinning somewhat. He still felt lightheaded, of course, but that was... understandable. This was a bit of a shocking revelation, and he was allowed to be thrown by finding out two of his best friends had been dating for practically as long as he had known them.
It was... fine. It was fine, and he was going to be fine, and he'd adjust to the new normal - that was, apparently, the old normal - and before long it'd barely even bother him anymore.
It wasn't like he had any reason to be bothered by Tim and Martin dating, after all.
No reason, except for the fact that he'd been madly in love with Martin for over a year, at this point, and had been hoping to tell him so some time this century.
That was a fairly big reason.
Jon groaned, leaning back against a shelf and holding up his stack of papers to cover his face.
It wasn't like he'd thought he had a chance with Martin, or anything. No, he'd ruined that possibility in the first few months they'd worked together, back when he'd taken out every least inconvenience or irritation on the man, to such an extent that Martin had been convinced he'd hated him for a large stretch of time. He'd apologized, once he realized what he was doing, but he held no illusions about the effect that had had on their relationship: they'd become close friends since then, but any potential romantic feelings Martin may have held for him at one point in time had been well and truly quashed.
Still, there was a difference between idly daydreaming about someone you had no chance with, pining in secret and trying to convince yourself that you'd take action at some point, and daydreaming about someone who was already in a relationship. He hadn't just lost his chance with Martin: he'd never had a chance in the first place. God, Tim was going to hate him if he ever found out. They both would.
In fairness, Jon hadn't known they were together, but... he should have. That was the sort of thing he should know about his friends, especially if he professed to be in love with one of them.
And he was. In love with Martin. Deeply in love.
The stack of papers lowered, slowly, and Jon blinked as the brightness of the overhead lights hit his eyes again. He glanced at the top of the stack and then moved, mechanically, to begin filing them.
He would just have to... get over it. Move on. Stop thinking about Martin in that light. Stop thinking about Martin at all.
He would probably have to put some distance between them. Stop sitting with him on their lunch breaks, turn down his offers to go out to the café when the weather was nice. He could make up an excuse, falsify some big project he had to work on that'd keep him away from socialization for a while. Just until the feelings died down. Martin would understand, he was good like that.
If his feelings ever died down.
And if they didn't...
...He'd just have to learn to live with it.
He was hardly going to let this endanger his friendship with Martin - or with Tim. They were both far too important to him. He didn't have any friends outside the Archive's staff (one ex-girlfriend and her current girlfriend barely counted) and he couldn't risk losing them over something as inconsequential as his own feelings.
So he would... live with it. He could do that. He'd been doing that for a year.
It would be different, now, knowing Martin was in a relationship. He'd have to silence all the thoughts of what if and someday that had admittedly grown rather loud recently, but that was fine. He could handle never having a chance at a romantic relationship with Martin, if it meant they could still be friends.
And he would have to...
Jon's hands faltered to a stop, balancing a folder against the shelf instead of sliding it into place.
He would have to learn to support Martin and Tim's relationship, not just ignore it like he had been doing.
Oh god.
He remembered the causal intimacy of the arm Tim had wrapped around Martin's waist before. It wasn't unusual, to be sure: Tim was a very physically affectionate person, and anyone who knew him knew the likelihood of getting surprised by a hug or a hair ruffle when he was in the room. But it was different, to know that it was a romantic gesture.
He imagined what it would be like, now that he knew. Did they come into work together, sometimes? Hold hands when they went to lunch? When no one was looking, did they ever...
Jon had imagined it, before. Pulling Martin behind a bookcase and kissing him until they were both breathless.
His stomach lurched with nauseous jealousy.
No. No, he couldn't do that. Martin was his friend, he couldn't let himself get all worked up just because he was-
Would he tell him about their dates, now? Was Jon supposed to ask? Recommend restaurants they should try together or interesting activities around the city that catered to couples? Was that a friend thing to do?
God, what if Martin asked him for relationship advice? What if they asked for his help moving when they decided to live together? What if they got married? What if Martin asked him to be his best man, and he would have to stand there at the ceremony applauding as the man he was in love with pledged his heart to another, trying pretend his tears were tears of joy, hiding the fact that his heart was shattering into a million cutting fragments in his chest-
He choked on a breath, almost losing his grip on the folder as his hand started to shake.
Oh. Oh no. Not at work.
Jon shoved the folder onto the shelf and raised his hand to his mouth, trying to smother the first sob as the tears rose in his eyes.
God, what if someone saw him?
He hurried to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind himself, and sank to the floor as the heartbreak finally rose to overwhelming him.
~~~~~
"You, Timothy Stoker, are a menace," Sasha said, and swung back around her desk to flop into her chair.
"Hey, if he's willing to believe he missed something like that the entire time we've been working together, he deserves to be messed with," Tim laughed, dropping into his own chair and pulling a stack of papers toward him. "Honestly, how can he be that gullible?"
"It's not like he's got any reason to disbelieve you." She shook her head. Tim was the undisputed king of office pranks, but this went above and beyond. He and Martin had a running joke of pretending to be a couple any time they ran into someone homophobic, but keeping up the act in front of Jon? And actually convincing him? Iconic.
"Yes, no reason apart from my obvious undying love for you." He fluttered his eyelashes at her, one hand pressed to his heart, and she laughed.
"Oh yes, how could I forget." They'd hooked up, once. They'd regretted it, for months. They'd agreed to never do it again.
Tim knew it was an infallible source of humor, and would never let her forget it.
"You would doubt me, my dearest lady love?" he said, with exaggerated offence.
"Never, kind sir," she said, "but Jon might."
"True." He shrugged, dropping the act. "Okay, no reason other than Martin's obvious undying love for him."
They both turned, in unison. Martin was slumped behind his own desk, staring despondently at his keyboard. He didn't seem to have heard them.
"You alright there, Martin?"
Martin sighed, shoulders slumping even further. He looked a bit like he was melting. "He didn't even seem disappointed," he said, and looked up, giving them the most pitiable puppy-dog eyes Sasha had ever seen.
"Yeah, I- I'm sorry," Tim said, and he truly did look sorry. Pranking your boss into thinking you were dating someone was one thing; pulling the same trick on your crush was quite another. "Look, I'll talk to him, tell him it was a joke. I shouldn't have dragged you into this without warning."
"No, it's- it's okay," Martin said, and sighed again, heavily. "I mean, I've always known it's hopeless, this doesn't really change anything."
Sasha and Tim exchanged a glance. He shrugged. She rolled her eyes.
"You never know," she offered, injecting her voice with false cheer. "Maybe he'll find himself inexplicably jealous and have a bolt-from-the-blue realization of his true feelings."
A smile twitched at Martin's lips, and she counted that as a win. "Yeah, maybe."
"Sasha's right," Tim said. "He already did a wonderful groveling act when he realized how much he was taking things out on you at the start, that's like, a classic romcom trope."
Martin chuckled, and sat up a little straighter, and Sasha and Tim nodded at each other in satisfaction. It'd taken them a while to figure out, but by now they considered themselves experts in 'cheering Martin up when he pined too hard.'
"Yeah, maybe he'll come running up to me in a rainstorm to stop me boarding a plane."
"That's the spirit!" Tim said. "It's a classic 'enemies to lovers,' you've just taken a rather long break at 'friends' in between."
"I wouldn't go so far as to call us enemies..."
"Maybe not, but 'weirdly confrontational boss/employee relationship to lovers' isn't a trope, now is it?"
Martin laughed again. "No, I suppose you're right." His shoulders drooped slightly, and he gave a wet sniff. "Maybe there's a reason for that."
Tim shot a helpless look in Sasha's direction. She sighed, then clapped her hands together decisively. Desperate times called for desperate measures. "I'm going to go make some tea. Do you two want any?"
Martin sniffed again, and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good," he said softly. "Thank you, Sasha."
"You're a lifesaver, Sash," Tim said, and Sasha knew he wasn't talking about the tea.
Once she was safely in the hallway, Sasha rolled her eyes. She understood what Martin was going through, truly she did, but sometimes she just wished he'd get up the courage to ask Jon out and damn the consequences.
Still. He was her friend, which meant she had to support his pining. And that meant tea.
The bathroom was right next to the breakroom. As she was passing by the door, she heard a muffled noise from within. It sounded... pained.
Sasha paused, hesitating outside the door. Tim and Martin were both back in the office, which meant that...
She knocked lightly on the doorframe. "Jon?"
The muffled noise repeated, clearer now that she was listening for it. It definitely sounded like a sob.
"Jon? Are you okay?"
"I-" The words were cut off by a heaving, hacking cough, still muddled by tears. "I'm-"
"I'm coming in," Sasha said, and waited for a beat to see if he would protest. He didn't, so she nudged the door open. It wasn't locked.
Jon was curled up in the corner next to the sink, knees clutched to his chest with one arm. His other was in use pressing a hand over his mouth, trying to hold in the noise as the coughing fit devolved back into sobs. His face was streaked with tears, eyes scrunched shut as more leaked out their corners.
"Christ! Jon, are you okay?" Sasha moved into the bathroom, dropping to her knees next to Jon and hesitantly holding out a hand. "Are you hurt?"
He shook his head violently, curling even tighter into himself. His knuckles were turning white where his hand clenched around his knee.
"What's wrong?" she asked, softer now that she wasn't panicking about possibly having to take him to A&E.
He shook his head again; peeled his hand off his mouth, just slightly, to mutter: "Don't-" and then pressed it right back again as another sob shook his frame.
"Don't what, Jon?" He didn't seem inclined to leave the corner any time soon, so she crossed her legs underneath her and settled in to wait this - whatever this was - out.
"D-don't t-tell," he tried again. "Don't- T- T- Tim and M- Martin, don't t-"
"Okay, okay, I won't tell Tim and Martin," she soothed, and spared a thought to curse toxic masculinity before reaching out to pat him on the shoulder. "Breathe, Jon, breathe, it's alright. Whatever it is, it's going to be alright."
"No it's-" He heaved in a deep breath, starting to cough again as he tried to let it out, and Sasha grimaced.
"Come on, Jon, you can do this." She leaned forward onto her knees, stretching up to reach the roll of paper towels next to the sink, and tore a handful off. "Not the best tissues, but it'll do."
He took them from her with a shaky hand, and pressed the entire pile to his face, sobbing into it. She sighed.
"Or you can do that, I suppose."
She patted him on the shoulder again, then simply let her hand rest there as he brought himself down from whatever peak of agony had caused him to break into tears. A few minutes later, he pulled the paper towels away from his face, blowing his nose on them and then slumping back against the wall.
"Thanks, Sasha," he whispered.
"Any time." One more pat, and she withdrew her hand. "Want to talk about it?"
He shook his head. "Not really, I just... I just feel like an idiot, I guess. All this time and I never..."
She frowned. "Sorry, I don't follow?"
"Tim and Martin," he said, and his breath hitched again. He wiped a few more tears away with the back of his hand. "I can't believe I didn't know."
She frowned harder. "Jon, you once forgot your own birthday, it's hardly news that you don't keep up on office gossip. Why on earth does that have you crying?"
"Not that part," he said, surprisingly vehement. "I just feel like an idiot for- for letting myself-" He pressed a hand to his mouth again.
The words rang a bell in Sasha's head, and she carefully set aside thoughts of trying to lighten the mood by teasing him for falling for Tim's jokes. She could distinctly remember hearing almost the same thing in Martin's voice, late one night when she and Tim had made the mistake of getting him drunk. I feel like an idiot for letting myself fall for my boss.
"Jon..." she said, slowly. "Do- do you have feelings for-"
He nodded, miserably, and she sucked in a sharp breath.
"H-he," he stuttered. "M-Martin's been my friend for so long and now he's dating Tim and I'm such an idiot, I should never have let myself think- he's so out of my league why would he ever-"
"Oh, Jon," Sasha said, and pressed a hand over her heart. "Is this... You're jealous? Because... Tim?"
"Yes," Jon said, and it was the most pitiful sound Sasha had ever heard. "I've been in love with him for ages and now-"
Oh no. That was the worst confirmation he could have given for her suspicion.
Jon was in love with Tim.
He sniffled again. "This is the worst day of my life."
She couldn't help it: that made her snort. "I find that hard to credit. You were bitten by a poisonous spider as a kid."
"Venomous," he muttered. "And venomous spiders don't break your heart."
That was a fair point. "And crying in a bathroom won't heal you, either," she said. "Come on. I was about to make some tea, do you want some?"
He shook his head vigorously. "N-no, they can't see me like this, they can't- I don't want them to find out."
Another fair point, though for the wrong reasons. She didn't want to think how Martin would react when he heard this. "How about we go to your office, then? They won't see you there, and at least you'll be off these cold tiles."
Jon hesitated for a long moment before nodding. "Okay," he said, in a weak voice, and started uncurling himself from the floor so he could stand. He washed his face in the sink before moving to the door, though his eyes were red enough that it did little to hide the evidence of his distress.
She gave him the space to sort himself out, then offered an arm for him to lean on when he stepped away from the sink and wobbled on his feet. He took it gratefully, wincing.
"Legs are asleep," he muttered.
"Oof. Been there."
The walk back to his office was slow, but neither Tim nor Martin intercepted them on the way so Sasha counted it as a win. Once in his office Jon sank down into his chair with a sigh and a lingering sniffle, and waved her off when she started to hover.
"I'm fine, Sasha, really. Just... just a bit brokenhearted. I'll recover."
"Okay," she said, biting her lip. He looked very small and frail behind his desk, one harsh word away from shattering. "Take it easy today, okay? And text me if you need anything. And if you want to talk after work-"
"I'm fine, Sasha," he repeated, and put enough petulance behind the words that she almost believed him. "Thank you, truly, but I'm fine."
There was no getting through to Jon when he put on that tone, she knew that from experience. So instead, she nodded, and stepped back out the door.
"Good luck, Jon," she said, as a final parting, and closed the door behind her.
Christ. She had to go talk to Tim.
~~~~~
Sasha strode back into the assistants' office, looking frazzled, and Tim frowned when he saw she didn't have any tea.
"You alright there, Sash? You were gone a while."
She didn't answer, instead looking frantically around the room. "Where's Martin?"
Tim frowned. "Uh, up in the Library, I think? Apparently one of his old coworkers might have a connection to a statement giver. Did you need him?"
"Good." She closed the door decisively behind her, then stalked over to place her hands flat on Tim's desk. "Jon's in love with you."
Tim blinked at her.
She continued staring at him, unwavering.
He relented first. "Sorry, what?"
"Jon's in love with you," she repeated, finally removing her hands from the desk so she could perch on the corner of it. "He just told me."
Tim laughed. "Sasha, if this is some kind of weird joke, I'm not falling for it."
"It's not." She looked deadly serious. "I just found him crying his heart out in the bathroom because he thinks you and Martin are dating."
"Oh. Shit." Tim... didn't know how to respond to that. It was flattering, sure, but certainly not reciprocated and extremely awkward given Martin's feelings. "And..." he tried, grasping for a better answer. "You're sure it's me he was crying over, and not...?"
"Positive," she said, and he slumped in defeat.
"Well that's... not ideal."
"You can say that again." She pushed one hand back through her hair, gathering it in a clump behind her head and tugging. She only did that when she was really stressed. "I promised him I wouldn't tell you, but, then again, he only asked me not to because he doesn't want to get in the way of your and Martin's relationship."
"Which doesn't exist."
"Which utterly and completely does not exist."
Tim groaned, covering his face with his hands. "I'm never playing a prank again. I swear off them forever, they only bring sorrow and strife."
"Sure, until next April Fool's rolls around." He could hear the grin in her voice even without looking, and he shrugged in acknowledgement. He did have a reputation to maintain. She nudged his leg with the tip of her shoe. "I take it the, ah... affection is not returned, then?"
"God, no." Tim dropped his hands from his face, sighing. "He's a great guy, and I love him to death as a friend, but just... no."
"Thought so." She sighed in turn, tapping the desk with her finger. "I'm not sure if that simplifies things or makes it all worse."
"What, that I'm suddenly caught in a love triangle where I have no interest in either of the other participants?"
"Yeah," she said, treating him to a crooked grin. "That."
He chuckled back at her, silently very glad indeed to not have his own heart on the line. Then he turned serious again. "So what do we do about this?"
"We can't tell Martin," she said immediately. "It'd crush him."
"Agreed." He nodded. "How do we tell Jon me and Martin aren't dating without giving him false hope about my own availability?"
"I certainly can't do it," she said. "He'd think I was telling him to ask you out."
"Well, I certainly can't do it, either." He wrinkled his nose. "That'd come across as a 'hey, did you know I'm actually single?' Wink wink nudge nudge etcetera."
"We can't have Martin do it." She shook her head. "Jon's going to perk up the minute he finds out and Martin'll get the wrong idea."
"So, what, I've got to pretend to date Martin forever?"
Sasha held up one finger decisively, poised to speak... then dropped it. "Damn it."
"Quite."
She tilted her head to the side, giving him a considering look. "I really want to tease you about this being your own damn fault, but that feels mean."
"That is mean. You're mean, Sasha." He kicked out a leg, mimicking her action from earlier and poking her in the shin with the toe of his shoe. She retaliated by reaching over to ruffle his hair, utterly ruining his careful styling from the morning, and he let out an outraged yelp as he tried to duck away.
"Sasha, this is serious!" he protested. "Our friends' hearts are on the lines, we can't be messing around!"
"You started it," she shot back, but relented, leaning back away from him. "I think the answer is obvious: you stage a breakup with Martin and leave it at that."
"And how do I explain that to Martin?"
"Okay. Wait. I'll get there." She tapped a finger against her lips as she thought. "Jon's gullible enough to believe you're dating even with no evidence. So you don't need to say anything, he'll think you and Martin are together, and then next time you have an actual date you can casually mention it to him and say you and Martin broke up ages ago when he asks. Then you're still not pulling the 'hey I'm single' bit, but you are establishing that you and Martin aren't together."
"Sasha, you're a genius." He bent at the waist, giving her an exaggerated bow of respect from his chair. She flapped a hand at him in an 'oh, please' gesture, pretending to preen. "And I can just tell Martin I already told Jon the truth," he continued when he sat back up. "He'll never have to know about the whole sordid affair."
"Right." She nodded. "The only casualty will be Jon's heart, but that can't really be helped unless you suddenly fall for him."
"Not going to happen. He'll get over me eventually." He raised his eyebrows at her expectantly. "I trust I can count on you to be there with ice cream and all appropriate sappy romcoms to soothe the hurt away?"
"Count on it." She fluttered her eyelashes, placing one hand over her heart. "I, too, know the pain of having my heart broken by the dashing Timothy Stoker. I take it as my solemn duty to extend comfort to all others who find themselves in the same situation."
"Your sacrifices for the good of human kind will not go unrecognized, you hero."
She chuckled, dropping the act and poking him in the leg again. "So we have our plan?"
He nodded, sticking out his hand. "We have our plan.”
They shook on it.
~~~~~
Martin stepped back from the door quietly, feeling like his heart was in his shoes.
He'd known he never had a chance with Jon, he'd been in the process of coming to terms with that fact for a while now, but that was different than...
Than...
Jon was in love with Tim?
He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, he really hadn't. But it was unusual for the door to the assistants' office to be closed, so he had paused outside to make sure he wasn't interrupting anything private. And then he had heard-
Jon was in love with Tim.
He'd stayed to listen to the whole conversation, after that.
He was gratified to think his friends were trying to protect his heart by keeping this from him, he really was, but he was also glad he had heard it. Better to tear the bandage off all at once than find out later and realize he'd spent years playing the fool.
He wasn't an idiot. He'd known this was a very likely eventuality: one day, Jon would fall in love. And Martin would have to sit by the sidelines and support him. He just hadn't expected it to be so soon.
And he hadn't expected it to be Tim.
That hurt more than Jon falling for some hypothetical stranger, Martin found. A hypothetical stranger would love Jon back, and at least he'd be happy. But Tim? That left Jon just as heartbroken as Martin was. He'd only ever wanted Jon to be happy, even if it wasn't with him.
God, Jon had been crying. He never cried. They were friends, Martin had seen him at his lowest and most miserable, and Jon never cried, just bottled it all up and started snapping at people. If he was crying, then he was hurt bad.
And there was nothing Martin could do to help him.
Normally he'd offer a shoulder to cry on, a cup of tea and some quiet conversation, but... no. No, that was not something he could handle, listening to Jon pine over someone else. Best to leave that part to Sasha.
So he just had to stand on the sidelines while the man he loved suffered, trying to pretend his own heart wasn't in tatters too.
Well...
There was one thing he could do.
Martin took a deep breath, closing his eyes and taking a moment to take stock of his own body and emotional state. Shattered, yes, but stable. His heart hurt, physically hurt, but he was breathing evenly and wasn't about to burst into tears. Good.
He opened his eyes again, and went to make a cup of tea.
Ten minutes later he was pushing open the door of Jon's office, not bothering to knock. No one ever did, and Jon didn't seem to mind. He pasted on a smile as he entered, holding the tea up with one hand.
"Hey Jon. Thought you might need a break."
Jon was very obviously not working. He was sitting slumped in his desk chair, unfocused eyes staring at the blank screen of his laptop. When he looked up at Martin, he looked to be on the brink of tears once more.
Then he cleared his throat, sat up straight, and gave Martin a smile that wobbled only slightly.
"Thank you, Martin. You... you're always looking out for me, aren't you?"
Martin laughed, and hoped it didn't sound as forced as it felt. "Well, that's what friends are for, right?"
"Right," Jon said, smile slipping, and Martin screwed up his courage to say what he'd come here to say. He might not have been able to help Jon through his heartbreak, but he could at the very least take the jealousy out of the equation.
"Speaking of friends…" He set the tea down carefully on top of Jon's desk, pushing a few stray papers out of the way so he didn't have to meet Jon's eyes. "About what Tim said earlier."
"Ah." It wasn't so much a noise as an involuntary exhale. Jon sounded like he'd been punched, all the air forced out of his lungs in one painful blow. "I. Um. I'm." He took a deep breath. "That is to say, I'm… I'm happy for you. I, um. I'm sorry I didn't realize before, that's… it was remiss of me not to know."
"No, Jon, it's," Martin raised a hand helplessly, wanting to offer comfort but at the same time not sure what to say. "You didn't- you didn't miss anything, that was- it was a joke."
"What?" Jon looked absolutely baffled, which was fair.
"I'm not dating Tim," Martin said, and tried not to let it hurt when Jon's eyes widened with sudden hope. "He was just messing around, you know what he's like. Trying to see how far he could push it before you realized he was pulling your leg."
"It was a joke?" Jon's voice was faint.
"Yeah." Martin shifted his feet awkwardly. Jon was staring at him, wide-eyed and wondering. "Um. He feels bad about it, if that helps. He, uh, he honestly didn't expect you to believe him."
"S- so you're not-" Jon sat forward in his chair, suddenly energized. "You and Tim aren't-"
"Nope. Never have, never will."
Jon smiled at him. Actually smiled, and it was like the sun breaking from behind storm clouds, and it broke Martin's heart.
"That's… that's good to know," he said quietly. "Thank you, Martin. For telling me. Um. I'm never going to live this down, am I?"
"What, falling for one of Tim's pranks? You wouldn't be the first." This time, his laugh came out strong. At least Jon was happy. At least there was that.
"Hmm, he does have quite a reputation for them, doesn't he?" Jon chuckled fondly, and Martin realized there was one last thing he had to say, no matter how much it hurt.
"He certainly does. Um. Listen, Jon…" Jon raised his eyebrows expectantly, and Martin swallowed. "I know you may not want to hear this, but, um. I don't think Tim has feelings for anyone at the moment. Um. Anyone at all."
He stopped, bracing himself to watch Jon's face fall again. 'Not reciprocated' was a step above 'with someone else,' at least in Martin's book, but it still wasn't exactly pleasant to hear.
Jon just frowned. "So?"
"Um." God, Martin did not want to have to spell this out for him. "I just- just wanted you to be prepared, in case you were- were planning to ask him out-"
"Why the hell would I ask Tim out?" Jon looked scandalized by the very idea, and Martin's brain went blank in confusion.
"Um."
"I mean, he's a great guy, but," Jon snorted. "No."
"But- but Sasha-"
The pieces started to click into place.
Sasha had found Jon crying in the bathroom. Jon had said he was crying because of Martin and Tim. Sasha - a woman with a previous intimate history with Tim, who had seen many others fall for him over the course of their long friendship - had come to the conclusion that Jon was in love with Tim.
Jon was very clearly not in love with Tim.
"Jon," Martin said, a sudden burst of hope spurring him to throw all caution to the wind, "are you in love with me?"
The sheer panic on Jon's face at that question was confirmation enough. "What did Sasha tell you?" he demanded, hands clenched on the edge of his desk hard enough his knuckles turned white.
"That you were crying in the bathroom because you were in love with Tim and heartbroken that I was dating him," he said, a slow grin spreading over his face. "Well, no, I overheard her telling Tim that. She wasn't going to tell me, because she didn't want to break my heart."
Jon released the edge of the desk in shock, eyes widening. "Why would that have broken your heart?"
"Because, Jon," Martin said, and he was really, truly smiling now, big enough his cheeks were starting to hurt. "I've been in love with you for ages."
Jon stood up fast enough that he sent his chair clattering back against the wall, nearly falling over. He didn't pause to stabilize it, just strode out from behind the desk with his eyes fixed on Martin's face. Martin opened his arms as soon as he got close enough, and Jon hugged him as tightly as a drowning man clinging to a life raft.
"I love you," he whispered, voice choked with tears.
"I love you too," Martin whispered back, and before he could process the movement Jon was shifting around to kiss him.
It was damp, and messy, and uncoordinated, but it was Jon, so Martin didn't mind at all. He tilted his head slightly, aiming for a better angle, and one of Jon's hands came up to clutch at his hair when he found it.
Martin let a pleased little huff of air out of his nose, and was surprised when it came out closer to a moan. Jon hummed back, deepening the kiss.
When they finally broke apart to breathe, Jon was smiling, though his face was still streaked with tears. "Christ, this day's been an emotional rollercoaster."
"Tell me about it," Martin laughed. "I thought I'd missed my chance with you."
"I thought I'd lost you forever." Jon's words were quieter, serious and sincere. Martin pulled him close again, into another hug.
"Never."
Jon turned his head, pushing his face into Martin's hair. "Um. In that case, are you free tonight? We've kind of done this out of order, but I'd- I'd like to go to dinner with you, or something."
"Like a date? I'd love it."
"Excellent." Jon released him, stepping back. He wiped the back of his hand across his eyes, sniffling a bit and then laughing. "God, I feel like a mess. I'm, um. Sorry for getting so dramatic about this, it's, um… not an ideal way to ask someone out, I know."
Martin shrugged. "I mean, as long as it gets the job done, right?" He took Jon's hand, squeezing gently. "Honestly, I feel pretty dramatic about this too. It's not every day I confess to being in love with someone."
"True." Jon looked at their joined hands. "I, uh… I'm not sure I'm in a state to really… talk about this, right now. I'd like to do that, later, figure out what this means for us both, but…" He bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth for a moment before continuing. "But for right now, Martin, I just want you to know that I'm serious. This isn't- it's not just a passing crush. I love you, and I would like to be in a relationship with you. Long term. If you're- if you want that, too."
"I do," Martin said, and squeezed Jon's hand again. "I really, really do."
~~~~~
"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Tim said, later, as he and Sasha stood in the door of the assistants' office watching Jon and Martin leave work together, laughing and holding hands.
"I swear he said he was in love with you," Sasha said, just as baffled.
Tim shook his head. "Honestly, I don't care. Martin's happy, Jon's happy, I'm free of whatever weird love triangle we thought was going on, life is good."
"Fair point." Sasha grinned at him. "Does this mean you recant your oath to never play a prank again?"
"Oh, absolutely. Clearly, they're the best way to resolve romantic tension in the workplace."
"Clearly. Well, since I'm not going to be comforting a heartbroken Jon tonight, my evening just freed up. Want to come over and get your ass kicked in Mario Kart?"
"No, I want to come over and kick your ass in Mario Kart."
She laughed. "You're on."