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Genji had been with them for a while now. Long enough to have gone on a mission with everyone on the top team two, if not three times already. They had dismantled his family’s empire. What was left of it. Someone had already done most of the work for them. Jesse had found Genji in a room he could only assume was Hanzo’s, standing in the remains of everything he had shredded.
Wood splintered, sheets torn, tables broken and paper strewn everywhere. Blood still dripping from his katana. His faceplate. Matting his hair. It accentuated his eyes, the tears swimming in them but not falling, left Jesse wary.
Touch at the time had still not been okay.
Genji had closed himself off for a while after they got back to base, going quiet and sullen again. More so than usual. Then, Jesse coaxed him out of his shell little by little again, the two training with one another and going on missions. Genji was distracted. Made mistakes, got hurt. Jesse had a feeling not all of it was accidental. Reyes had gone in to talk to him, straighten him up, tell him he was apart of a team now and had to fucking act like it, people were killed because of you today, Shimada. Get your head out of the past, stop trying to finish the job your brother started. You’re better than that.
Genji went silent.
He had been furious.
Then he was back in Jesse’s room in the middle of the night, staring at him until he came over to pick up the pieces of him that shattered as soon as he touched his arm. Stretched so thin it only took a wrong breath to break him. Genji was only pieces of himself anymore, desperately trying to hold on to his humanity while dealing with the traumas that took everything from him. Most of his battles were psychological. Wounds no one could touch or see.
No one but Jesse, when Genji finally, finally let him in. Hesitant, afraid to be hurt again by someone he trusted. But Jesse proved himself. Time and time again, accepting Genji into his arms and mending tiny pieces and what little fractures he could. Better than nothing.
Genji relied on him. Jesse took pride in it, even if he knew it was a bad idea. Took pride in the fact that Genji chose him first, opened up to him first, let him see and experience him first. Someone chose Jesse over anyone else for once in his life. It boiled down to selfishness. Jesse did not like the thought, but it was soothed by the fact that he knew he was in love. That, too, was a horrible idea, but for this, there was nothing he could do to stop or change things. He did not want to.
For all of Genji’s sharp edges and distance, he had softness and understanding hidden beneath it. Held close to his chest, shared with Jesse when he needed care in return. They were all fucked up beyond repair. Sometimes the only solace they had was that the people around them knew and felt it too.
It should have been expected, then, what happened. Jesse had fallen for Genji, others were bound to as well. He was gorgeous and dangerous, worked well with everyone even if he did not say much to them. Had some friends, but kept a safe distance between them.
Some of the other agents apparently did not get the memo.
It had just been training. Reyes grouping them up with sparring partners, purposefully separating him and Genji so they could practice with someone they did not already have memorized by heart. They worked too well together, sometimes. Jesse was given a new recruit—Reyes always trusted him with those, counted on his experience and leadership to train them well, mould them to the team.
Genji was given one of the agents that had been on the top teams for as long as Jesse had been in Blackwatch. She was a beast on the battlefield, had saved Jesse and the rest of his team’s ass single-handedly on more than one occasion. She had thick dark hair pulled back into a long braid, tattoos in lines down her chin and triangles over her forehead. Adlartok was a good match for Genji; easygoing off the battlefield and serious enough to give him a run for his money, definitely a skilled enough partner for sparring.
And she was smiling big, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he walked over. Jesse frowned. No one was allowed to touch but him.
The new agent cleared their throat. Jesse blinked and looked down at them. Caught staring.
“Agent Gris, sir,” they told him, straightening. Military. They must have been on some sort of special ops team before being pulled into Blackwatch.
“Agent McCree, and you don’t have to call me sir. That’s reserved for the big boss,” Jesse grinned, pointing a thumb in Reyes’ direction. Gris nodded, Jesse sliding back into a defensive stance.
“Now show me what you got, kid, and I’ll let him know if you’ve got what it takes.”
“Rules?”
“Just don’t aim for my face or you’ll be doin’ push-ups ‘till you drop.”
“Aye sir—McCree.”
Gris was good enough. Not Genji, no one could ever be Genji in the ring, but they held their own. Got Jesse to sweat. Had his full attention until they moved around enough to where he could see Genji sparing with Adlartok.
She had him in a choke on the ground, legs wrapped over his, arm under his chin. Keeping his weight down, pinning his struggles until he figured out they were useless and he tapped out. Then she was holding out a hand. Genji took it. Jesse stared. Genji took her hand and let himself be pulled up to his feet. He had never let anyone do that before.
There was a moment of confusion, followed quickly by a sharp pang of jealousy. Jesse looked away and shook his head. He was being ridiculous, he should be happy Genji was opening up to others. And it was not as though it meant anything.
Gris started to get the better of him, things that Jesse normally could have avoided easily if he were not so distracted. He had one eye on Gris, the other on Genji. They only worked for another ten minutes before a break was called, Gris panting and Jesse more bruised than usual. He nodded to them, gave a lopsided grin that was only vaguely thrown in their direction.
Distracted, distracted.
Staring at Genji, at Adlartok. The way she was shrugging, arms crossed over her chest and grinning down at Genji. Jesse had never seen her act that way with anyone else. And Genji was letting her. He moved closer, just enough to catch their conversation.
“You’re great, Shimada. Near impossible to take down, solid defense.”
“Thank you.”
“I’d be happy to spar with you again, if you wanted.”
“I would.”
“And hey,” she bumped his shoulder again with hers, Genji glancing up at her, raising a brow. Expressive.
“If you wanted to hang out some more outside of the gym, I’d like that too.”
Adlartok winked, and Jesse felt a surge of heat burn through him. Something not quite foreign but very much potent, making his teeth grind, bitter on the back of his tongue. Instinct and old fears bringing up even older memories. People always taking what was his, and he could do nothing but watch. His mother, his home, his found family, his dreams. Now someone was trying to take Genji from him.
Jesse shoved his way over, stepping between Genji and Adlartok. Pushing two fingers against her chest, pressing hard. She was as tall as him, did not budge an inch. Face going hard and cold.
“Hey. Lay off, you hear? He’s taken.”
"Easy. I'm asking him, not you."
"And I'm tellin' you he's taken. Leave him alone."
“Oh, and are you suddenly the master of him, then? Picking and choosing who he gets to hang out with for him?”
“Of course I ain’t. But I got a problem with you tryin’ to sweet talk your way to somethin’ you ain’t earned.”
“People like to think they have the right to make all your decisions for you, don’t they, Shimada?” Adlartok huffed, clearly not taking Jesse seriously. Her tone grated on him like sandpaper. Haughty and sarcastic. As if she knew anything about Genji at all.
“You better watch what you’re insinuating,” Jesse growled. Really starting to get angry.
“Or what, McCree?” she challenged. Jesse was only stopped from throwing a punch by Genji’s hand on his wrist, his name hissed through the faceplate as a warning.
“Jesse. Stop. She was just being friendly.”
“You don’t know the first thing about him. About us. So why don’t you stop sticking your nose where it ain’t wanted.”
“McCree, I said stop. You are only proving her point,” Genji snapped, Jesse looking down at him, his brows furrowing deeper.
“This is not like you.”
Spoken much softer, only for him to hear. Jesse took a moment to breathe. Let the pounding of blood in his ears die down, the heat in his face, the twitch of his finger, so used to having a gun in hand. Old feelings from old habits, too easy to get a rise out of. Reminding him of his Deadlock days. The thought left a sour taste in his mouth, made shame coil in his gut along with the lingering cloy of jealousy.
“I—You’re right. M’sorry,” he murmured, turning on his heel and leaving the training room. It had just been training. Just a conversation, even if a little too friendly.
Jesse shook his head, going back to his quarters for a smoke he desperately needed. It helped the minute tremble in his hands. The familiar taste of smoke in his mouth, the repetitive motions of inhaling, holding, exhaling. Fresh air on his face, the breeze taking the smoke curling from his lips up and out of sight. Jesse had watched them shake for a few minutes, stretched his fingers and finally draped them over the rail on the balcony.
It should not have been a big deal. Would not have been if he knew any other way to process these things. Anger was an easy fall back. Not one he was particularly proud of, but it hid fear better than anything else did.
It did not take long for Genji to find him, felt his presence behind him more than he heard it. Genji leaned on the railing next to him, faceplate off. Jesse still could not help but stare; beautiful views were meant to be admired.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Gave you some time to cool off. You need more or can we talk?” Genji asked, Jesse smiling a bit. It was the same question he used to ask Genji, back when they had not been so close.
“Nah, I’m good. And I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said those things, gotten so riled up. She wasn’t even doin’ anythin’,” Jesse sighed, waving his hand in a useless little circle. Genji shrugged.
“I get it. She was flirting, surprisingly.”
“Nah, not surprisin’ to me at all, you’re a dream, hon.”
“Then why did you get so upset?”
“I dunno,” Jesse mumbled half-heartedly.
“Jess. Talk to me.”
He pulled more smoke into his mouth, let it sit for a long moment. Genji waited, eyes flicking over his face.
“I just take it personally when people try and take the things I love from me. I’m tired of it, and scared to lose you. That you very well could want someone else and chose to leave me. She was right, you can make your own decisions, and you’ve had enough people doin’ it for you. I ain’t gonna be someone you have to add onto that list. I wouldn’t blame you if you did go, but it’d still break my heart.”
Genji was frowning. Head tilting just a bit to try and catch Jesse’s gaze, which he kept resolutely outwards.
“You really think I’m going to leave you?” he finally asked, Jesse shrugging one shoulder.
“Everyone does, sooner or later.”
“Look at me.”
Jesse chewed on the end of the cigarillo, fingers flexing again before he turned to Genji. Meeting his steady gaze, that rare show of softness.
“I am not going anywhere. My whole life has been nothing but people telling me what to do and who to be, then forcing it when I said no. But no one told me to chose you, Jesse. I did that on my own, and it is not something I have ever regretted.”
Jesse stared at him, quiet, letting the words sink in. Genji reached out, wrapped his pinky around Jesse’s gloved one.
“It is difficult for me to describe what I want to, but. Does that...Make sense?”
The cigarillo was dropped and stubbed out under Jesse’s boot, eyes dropping as he stepped closer to Genji. Wrapped him up in his arms, feeling a squeeze in return, Genji pressing his nose into Jesse’s shoulder.
“Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense. I really am sorry.”
“I know. I am not mad.”
“Alright.”
“I don’t say it enough, but I love you.”
Jesse closed his eyes, nodding just a bit, nose buried in Genji’s hair. It was soft, tickled against his lips.
“Love you too, darlin’...Thank you.”
Genji hummed, pulled back and tugged at Jesse’s tank top absently.
“Reyes was not happy you left. You’re going to have to run laps.”
“Yeah, figured,” Jesse grumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck. He sighed, shoulders scrunching up tight before he relaxed them again, hands going into his pockets.
“Guess I better get it over with then, huh?”
“I have to see Angela for some testing, but I’ll cheer you on in spirit.”
“Why thank you.”
Genji gave a little smile just before putting his faceplate back into place, the mechanics clicking quietly when it connected. It still made Jesse’s heart flutter. They walked back into the base in a comfortable silence, Jesse taking the turn towards the training gyms with a wave to Genji.
“See you tonight, hon.”
“Do not run in your boots.”
“Come on, it’s a talent and you know it!”
Genji shook his head, waving him off. “See you tonight,” he called, the words warm.
Jesse huffed a laugh that faded quickly when he turned the corner. Rubbed at his arm, wondering how long it would take Genji to realize what everyone else eventually did. Hopefully not for a while. He was special.
Jesse wanted just a little longer.