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Chaewon has always thought the brightness of the sun rays can be overwhelming at times, the light too sharp, too merciless.
"Don't you wonder what the night is like sometimes?" she asks Yena, another sun caretaker who she occasionally shares her path with. They walk side to side, Yena's long light hair tickling Chaewon's shoulders occasionally. The other never looks behind them at where the sky is just a little bit darker, to where Chaewon knows, the night and moon caretakers stay during the day.
"It's dark," Yena says as if it's the only important information. "I think that's all we need to know."
'But aren't you at least a tiny bit curious?' Chaewon wants to pry, wants to uncover some dark secret that's probably not there in the first place.
She guesses not everyone is like her, stealing glances at the place where the brightness of the summer sky meets the deep indigo of the night sky.
Chaewon shouldn't be curious either, with the way meeting with the night is strictly prohibited.
"Is it really dangerous for us to touch a moon caretaker?" she asks Eunbi once in a moment of bravery.
The older girl gives her a worried glance that tells Chaewon all Eunbi doesn't want to voice.
"They will steal your light," her friend says instead in a soft but demanding tone that makes Chaewon nod unconsciously.
Yet, the curiosity and the strange pull still remains in her.
It's like a single string of darkness hidden in between rays of sunshine, pulling her into the dark.
Far, far away from the sun.
Chaewon tears her eyes away and turns to face Yena again.
It's safer this way.
***
The first night Chaewon meets Hyewon it's an accident.
Every night after, it isn't.
Chaewon is slow this time. She lingers at the edge as the sun settles to rest, her eyes involuntarily escaping the warm glow to look at the way purple mixes with blues and indigos and deep, deep black to make the most beautiful color she has ever seen: the night.
If the others notice anything they don't point it out instead opting to continue their routine, walking around her as if she is yet another obstacle in their way, not someone who is also supposed to be working.
She's grateful for those few stolen minutes in which she gets a glimpse of the stars shining brightly but not too brightly like the sun sometimes does.
And then, at the corner of her eyes, she catches a glimpse of something else, something she should definitely not see.
Chaewon looks around but no one else notices a silhouette of a girl, still too far away to tell apart from the stars if one is not paying attention. But Chaewon is.
The world quiets down around her, voices dying down as everyone else settles to sleep and she moves too, her limbs finally catching up to what she is doing. Her body moves on autopilot, her eyes still fixated on the figure in the distance.
Chaewon knows that's all she's going to see, the closest she will ever get to a moon caretaker. Soon enough the figure will become nothing more than stardust shimmering faintly in the darkness after the caretaker takes a sharp turn and disappears.
Except, it doesn't.
Instead, for the first time, Chaewon can remember, the figure grows larger, and with it Chaewon's eyes open wider, surprise, and worry sipping out of her like waterfalls.
She might love the night more than she loves the day but that doesn't mean she isn't scared when the face of the moon caretaker finally takes shape and she's faced with a girl around her age.
She's stunning, light violet hair glowing faintly with stardust as do her hands which she hides behind her back.
Chaewon also discovers that her silver freckles connect into constellations she can't name.
Maybe she shouldn't know the last fact, seeing how she definitely shouldn't get close but she does anyway.
The moon caretaker stops at the edge of the sky where the indigo starts to slowly give way to soft yellows of Chaewon's home and doesn't move.
The violet-haired girl doesn't take another step, maybe too stunned where she is or maybe it's something else entirely.
Chaewon wonders if the girl is scared of her too. Are there stories of sun caretakers stealing moon caretaker's stardust?
Chaewon stops near the border between day and night too.
"Are you lost?" she asks, her tone soft and quiet so she won't have to worry about waking up the others.
The girl looks her over.
Chaewon's short orange hair and her warm eyes. Her dress is woven from sunlight making the girl's eyes widen even more like it's only now that she realizes who Chaewon is.
"You're…"
"And you're the caretaker of the moon," the words roll off of Chaewon's tongue too easily, her tone eager. "Are you lost?"
"I shouldn't be here," the girl's tone changes. From hesitation, it shifts to regret and Chaewon can almost taste the longing on the tip of her tongue. She doesn't know if it's her own emotion, the years of wanting to experience the deep colors of the night, or maybe the other girl's want for the bright material of her dress and the sun that has set a long time ago.
Either way, it makes the words form in Chaewon's mind and then they slip out of her mouth in a quiet whisper.
"Stay."
The violet haired girl doesn't have to be told twice.
***
From then onwards, Hyewon is all Chaewon thinks about.
She wakes up with the name of the older girl on her tongue and goes to sleep remembering the way her violet hair pools around her head when they lay down, each on their side of the border, and Hyewon teaches her the names of constellations, both the ones on the night sky and her cheeks.
Soon enough Chaewon discovers that she might be fascinated by the dark, might even love it, but all her feelings pale in comparison to the pull in her heart she feels when she's with Hyewon.
She searches for a word to describe the feeling, the deep connection she feels with the older but love is the strongest one she finds. It doesn't do the feeling justice.
"Do you love the sun?" Hyewon asks her once as they sit in silence, the space between their shoes growing smaller and smaller with each day.
Chaewon looks up to search for hidden meanings in Hyewon's gaze but all she finds is a reflection of herself. The look on the older's face doesn't match her tone which is soaking in wonder and something else Chaewon can't place.
"I guess I do," she answers carefully. She isn't sure how much she can voice out loud. What would happen if she admitted to placing the sun she is supposed to take care of as the last place in her heart? Would the bright sunlight finally burn her in punishment? "What about you?"
Hyewon's eyes glisten with stardust.
"I love it," she says and this time the emotion in her voice is crystal clear.
It's love, the same love Chaewon feels while looking at the stars. Or maybe, even worse, the same love she feels while looking at the girl before her.
"Do you want to meet it?" She asks before she can stop herself.
Hyewon's eyes go round with surprise as she nods eagerly, the stardust glowing brightly around her. This is the most emotions Chaewon has ever felt from the older and she decides that breaking yet another rule will be worth it.
Chaewon forces a smile and ignores the knot that forms in her throat.
"Tomorrow then."
***
The first time Hyewon sees the sun is somehow similar to what happened when Chaewon first met Hyewon.
Sure, technically the older could have met the sun a million times before but something tells Chaewon she didn't as she stands at the border of the night, eyes glued to the brightness.
Chaewon approaches her friend with a smile but Hyewon isn't looking at her, never at her.
Sun has this power to charm people but Chaewon never thought it had a similar effect on moon caretakers.
"It's beautiful," Hyewon whispers when they finally stand face to face.
'It's blinding,' Chaewon thinks but as always leaves the thought to herself.
It feels like the tips of Chaewon's fingers are on fire, either because of the sun behind her back silently judging her poor decisions or because of the need to reach out and cross the line between day and night.
She has had enough of meeting Hyewon halfway.
The realization comes to Chaewon in waves and it makes her shiver with sudden cold and fear. The thought that she wants to touch the other.
The thought that meeting halfway will never be enough for her again. It's terrifying.
It's also freeing somehow and she smiles.
A real smile, one that could rival the sun behind her back and Hyewon finally focuses on her instead of the blinding light.
***
When Hyewon wakes Chaewon up in the middle of the night one day the younger immediately knows something is very, very wrong.
First of all, Hyewon never comes to her side of the sky apart from the hours she's completely alone and it's never close enough to the sunrise for the reds and purples to start creeping into the indigo of the sky.
And yet that's exactly what Chaewon sees when she opens her eyes.
She sees deep purple and a lighter shade suspiciously similar to Hyewon's hair in the distance. It turns out to be the older girl, after all, Chaewon's sleep dissolving in mere seconds when her eyes finally focus and her ears catch the sound of quiet sobs which is probably what woke her up in the first place.
She struggles to free her legs from under the cloud blanket she was sleeping under just a second ago almost as if the poor thing knew it shouldn't let her go because right now Chaewon is willing to do anything as long as it makes Hyewon stop crying.
"What happened? Are you hurt?" words spill out of her as soon as she is close enough for the older to hear.
Chaewon doesn't care much for secrets right now so her voice is raw and louder than it should be but Hyewon doesn't seem to care either.
"My stardust…" Hyewon's voice dies down and Chaewon is left guessing how the sentence is supposed to end until she sees it.
Sees the way the Hyewon's tears glow faintly in the darkness.
Hyewon herself only has a faint glow about her nothing more. It shimmers and blinks as if it was about to go out completely.
It's unlike anything Chaewon has ever seen.
She unconsciously lifts her hand and reaches out, her fingers touching the pale blue of the early morning hours.
They come back stained and dimmed as if the night itself stole Chaewon's light.
The look in Hyewon's eyes is haunting.
"Why did you?" she asks faintly and then swallows hard.
In that moment Chaewon understands all the words the older doesn't want to let out.
"You're dying aren't you?" her voice is level and calm as her eyes meet ones filled with stars and dying stardust. More tears spill out and with it, Hyewon's glow pales even more.
She nods slightly and turns her eyes to the right where the first rays of sunshine break the darkness of the night.
Chaewon knows the older probably didn't mean to come to her with this but the way she was the first person Hyewon thought about in her state of panic speaks volumes.
It speaks all the words neither of them wants to utter in this situation.
Instead, they watch the sunrise together, fingers millimeters apart, Chaewon's fingertips dark blue, and Hyewon's bright red.
***
After that Chaewon starts to count days on her fingers.
One is for the stolen sunset and Hyewon's tears.
Two is for the first day in months spent without the older girl as Chaewon wanders around wondering if it's possible for the other to just disappear overnight, to dissolve into thin air without a trace.
Three is for how dull Hyewon's face has become. There is no more spark in her eyes and her violet hair is dull. She is still the most beautiful girl Chaewon has ever seen.
Four is for last time Chaewon sees the constellations on Hyewon's cheeks as they slowly go out under the waterfalls of tears.
"It hurts," Hyewon whispers. Chaewon can't even reach out to make it better.
Five is for Hyewon's last night patrol.
"They are having me replaced?" she says, the bitterness slipping into her voice like poison.
"Does this mean I won't see you again?" Chaewon asks but all she gets in reply is a sad smile.
Six is for goodbyes.
Chaewon keeps insisting it's not the end yet but Hyewon shakes her head consistently and slowly Chaewon's shoulders sink as she tries to grasp the idea of reality without Hyewon at her side.
So close yet so far. Not close enough to touch.
At least not yet.
'If she comes back tomorrow I'm going to do it' Chaewon promises herself.
She has lived here for way too long anyway and for beings like her and Hyewon, it's never the end. There's always another place, another role to be carried out until their sparks go out again.
Maybe next time she will care for the night, too.
Seven is for big decisions.
Chaewon can't believe her eyes when she sees a familiar figure show up at the horizon just as the sunrise is about to start.
Hyewon looks different now, all the color drained from her, the violet of her hair no longer violet like the sky but instead white as the clouds around them.
"I don't like your smile," are the words that greet Chaewon and she laughs loudly.
It doesn't really matter who will hear them now.
"I don't like your frown either," she teases back and it earns her a faint smile. The corners of Hyewon's lips lift up and up close it's clear how much effort each move requires.
Chaewon masks her own pain with another smile but the tug at her heart is unmistakable.
"I told you not to say goodbye yesterday," Chaewon tries very hard but her voice breaks at the end, and Hyewon's lips tremble as she tries to keep the smile on.
"I told you I'll be gone by today and it feels true. It feels like I'm already gone."
Chaewon has no good response to the words. They hurt her so much she isn't sure if she will be able to get out what she needs to say.
Chaewon never thought her throat would close around these particular words. She has waited so long to say them and yet…
"I love you," is a quiet whisper that swims in the clouds between them just to disappear into the sunlight a second later.
It's the quietest thing said between them yet but also the one with the biggest impact.
"Don't," Hyewon's voice breaks but there are no more tears that can fill the older's eyes. She's a ghost of herself and Chaewon knows she won't last long.
Maybe not even until the sun rises fully.
"Hyewon…"
"Don't do this, I'm not worth it. I will disappear anyway."
But to Chaewon it isn't just about the feel of Hyewon's skin under hers. It's also about the blinding brightness of the sun rising on the horizon. It's about the path she's supposed to take in about an hour with Yena and the rest of the sun caretakers.
It feels like if she stays the first ray of sunshine that touches her skin will burn her to ashes.
"I need to go too," she says and for Hyewon it probably seems like the farthest thing from the truth seeing as they are complete opposites right now.
Chaewon with her glow never more visible than in the early morning hours and Hyewon, too pale to be a force to be reckoned with in the purple light.
"You don't," the older says but takes a step closer anyway. She stops at the border and Chaewon is the one who crosses the barrier today. She watches her skin turn all shades of purple as she gets closer to the other girl. "But I guess I'll let you go anyway."
Chaewon smiles and reaches out, the tips of her fingers almost setting on fire as the sunlight reaches them both.
Hyewon's skin is soft under her fingers. It's hot and cold at the same time and Chaewon smiles at the sensation.
When she was told that touching a moon caretaker would steal her light she imagined it to hurt. Maybe freeze her into another dimension or burn her alive but this is anything but unpleasant.
"Thank you," Hyewon says and smiles, some of her old color returning to her eyes for a moment before the time freezes.
In that split second before both of them disappear leaving nothing but purple dust behind, Hyewon is built out of light.
And Chaewon is pure darkness.
***
Chaewon wakes up in complete darkness and a big bright moon overhead.
It has this beautiful glow around it but it's barely enough to find her way in the dark. She stumbles through the darkness until she finds what she has been looking for.
There, at the end of the path is a border. The world behind it is bathing in warm light Chaewon has a vague memory of feeling on her skin.
There in the middle of nowhere stands a lonely figure.
The girl has hair a shade similar to the color of a dying down fire. Nothing about her seems familiar except—
Except for her eyes.
Chaewon has seen them somewhere before, she's sure of it.
The two of them stare at each other, the bright constellations on the other's cheeks familiar and Chaewon feels like if she tried hard enough she would be able to name them all.
Slowly, the sky above her turns a light violet like her hair and there are only two thoughts fighting for attention in her head.
Hyewon is beautiful.
And Chaewon wishes she could touch the sun slowly rising on the horizon.