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The tendrils of pain coiling around his limbs. The thick, warm blood pooling around him. The taste of copper in the air. The hundreds of stares digging holes into his skin.
Iris could feel it all.
The word "please" clawed at Iris's throat. He jerked awake, bolting upright. His hands flew over his mouth, and he prayed the scream on his lips wouldn't slip through between his fingers.
He was covered in a cold sweat, causing his shirt to cling to his back. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to move, let alone breathe. It was as if his lungs rejected every molecule of air he tried to inhale.
What time was it? He had no idea. His heart slammed violently against his ribs as his eyes darted around the room. He could feel his powers acting up, feel the energy building up inside him. If it wasn't so dark, he was sure he’d be surrounded by plumes of multi-colored smoke.
"Iris?"
His head snapped up at the sound of his name, and he found himself staring straight into Lillian's widened gaze.
"Iris?" he repeated. "Are you okay?"
Iris hurriedly swiped the tears off his cheek. It took him a second to find his voice. "Yeah, I'm....fine. I'm good." He winced at the way his voice shook. Hoping to hide the trembling in his hands, he clutched his blanket in his fists. "Sorry for waking you up."
Lillium opened his mouth to reply but then stopped himself. "Hey, your bandages-"
"Huh?" Iris peered at the bandages around his arms to see the long strips starting to come undone. He must have loosened them in his sleep.
"Uh, here." Lillium rose from his bed and walked up to the window. He drew the curtains aside so that a thin sliver of moonlight fell through the glass and dimly lit the room. He then retrieved his bag, which Iris assumed contained the medical supplies.
Iris was about to protest- he could rewrap his wounds himself, he didn’t want to be a bother this late- but the look on Lillium's face told him he wasn't going to take no for an answer.
So Iris shifted to make room, the bed sinking with Lillium's added weight.
His voice was hesitant. "...Can you give me your arm?"
With careful hands, Lillium unwrapped the bandages. Thankfully Iris’s wounds were okay (Rosalie had done a fair job healing them), all they needed was to rewrap them and they’d be set.
Iris's muscles tensed as Lillium looped the white strips around his arms. He couldn't help but wince each time his hands brushed his scars.
At last, they were finished. Lillium threw the remaining bandages into his bag and placed it at the foot of the bed. His voice cut through the awkward silence. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Iris bit his lip. It was never his intention to make a scene, especially so late at night. But at the same time, he was desperate to talk about the memories that intoxicated his mind, the memories that were an iron cage trapping his body and refusing to let go.
Iris inhaled shakily. "It haunts me," he whispered at last. "Her face...it's all I can see when I close my eyes." He hated the way his voice tightened, hated this feeling of suffocation that snatched the air from around him. “I can still feel them all staring at me, and it hurt so bad-"
And suddenly it was as if his body was on fire again, like the scars had never been healed. He clutched his head in his hands.
How could she do that to him? Her own son? He knew she was harsh sometimes, but this? How could anyone do that to someone they loved?
"Hey, hey!" Lillium's voice broke through his thoughts. "Hey, it's okay, kid. Just- just look at me. Iris, look at me." Hesitantly, he placed a hand on Iris's shoulder.
Iris lifted his head from his hands and managed to meet Lillium's eyes.
It was strange- he hadn't known him long, but something about the steadiness of Lillium's pink-red eyes brought him a sense of comfort and familiarity.
"Yeah," said Lillium. "You're doing great, kid. Just keep looking at me." For a second his voice wavered, but he quickly regained his composure. "Now try to breathe. Yup, that's it...breathe in and out, just like that. Slowly. C'mon now."
Iris breathed. Eventually, his lungs opened up bit by bit, letting the air flow through him, smooth as beads of water rolling down silk. He let his shoulders drop, relieving some of the tension in his neck. The warmth from Lillium's hand on his shoulder seeped through his clothes and into his skin.
Iris blinked. He didn't remember starting to cry again, yet his face was covered in cold, wet tears. He also didn't remember at what point he'd grabbed Lillium's arm.
"Sorry," he whispered, realizing and snatching his hand away. His voice was scratchy.
"It's okay," Lillium replied gently. His eyebrows drew together as he chose his next words carefully. "Are you- do you feel better?"
"I do." Iris sniffed.
Something stirred inside him. His body was begging for sleep, but he was terrified of what he would see when he closed his eyes.
Lillium seemed to sense this, because he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "Um, if you wanted, I could…" he cleared his throat. "I could stay here until you're asleep."
Iris gave him a look. "What?"
Even in the dim lighting, Iris could see Lillium's face flush in embarrassment. "Sorry, I just meant- I thought-"
Despite the circumstance, Iris cracked a small smile. "I'm kidding. That'd be nice, actually."
Lillium paused for a moment, and Iris could almost see the blush leave his face. "Okay," he said. "Okay, sure."
While Iris crawled back under his sheets, Lillium sat on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed.
The pillow cradled Iris's head. The sky outside was pitch black, but the moonlight cast a faint silver glow inside the room. There was no blood, no crowd, no madame-- only him and the steady sound of Lillium's breathing.
Slowly, his eyelids became heavier and heavier.
"Thanks," Iris mumbled drowsily, feeling the numbness of sleep beginning to overtake him.
Lillium looked up to meet Iris's eyes. Their dark brown glimmered in the moonlight. "Sure," he replied. He looked back down and swallowed.
"You're gonna be okay, kid."
Iris closed his eyes. He was so tired, and the sound of Lillium's voice was so soft.
Maybe I will be, he thought, before finally letting his exhaustion overtake him and falling victim to sleep.