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When Nino told him they were going to Pride, Adrien was scared shitless. See, his friends all knew that he identified as the ‘A’ in LGBTQIA+, but they just assumed that it was the A for ally and not the A for Asexual.
This is how he found himself completely freaking out on the roof of Marinette’s Bakery, transformed, and eating a pain au chocolat.
Marinette heard a pitter-patter on her roof and assumed it was just rain, but one glance outside made her realize that it was dark, not due to rain, just due to the normal nighttime atmosphere. Opening her skylight, she tentatively poked her head out. She thought maybe it was a bird or a squirrel, but to her surprise, it was a cat. Her cat.
“Cat Noir?” she asked, curious as to what her partner was doing on the roof. He turned around at the sound of her voice, chocolate smeared all over his face. He gave her a nervous smile.
“Um, hi,” He waved awkwardly, a little worried that she would find his eating habits immature. He really wished he could eat more sweets, but when he got them as Cat he went a little… nuts.
“Hi…” Marinette returned his greeting. She was quite confused about why her partner was on her roof. Usually when Cat came to visit her, he went through the front door or dropped down onto her balcony. But never the roof. That was new.
‘Did he figure out my identity? No, he couldn’t have.’ She had been so careful, especially after the events of Cat Blanc. She looked up at him again. There was no hint of recognition in his eyes, just sadness. ‘ Wait. Sadness?’
“Cat Noir are you okay?” Marinette pressed, worried about what was troubling her partner. Faster than she probably should have, Marinette scrambled up onto her roof. It was a little harder to do without her suit on, but luckily, she was still able to get up with minimal effort.
How had she known?
Cat reached out an arm to help her up but Marinette was one step ahead of him. She was already by his side within a matter of seconds, looking up at him. Like a comforting friend would. She really did have the kindest heart, maybe even kinder than Ladybug.
“Yeah, I’m fine Princess,” he reassured her, using Cat’s nickname for her. He wasn’t exactly sure why he called her that. It just fit. And as much as Marinette protested, he knew she liked it.
“I don’t believe that for a second kitty,” she retorted, her persona becoming much more like Ladybug-like than she intended. “Your eyes are all red and you’re eating comfort food. Tell me what’s wrong.” Marinette took his arm and laid her head on his shoulder, trying to bring him a little bit of comfort. If she knew anything about Cat, it was that he never got enough affection from his family. This is why she always tried to give him those emotional connections that he lacked, whether she was Ladybug or Marinette.
Cat Noir sighed, realizing that there was no way out of this. He loved his friend, but she could be very pushy when she wanted to be, especially when it came to his feelings.
“If I tell you this, you have to promise to keep it to yourself.” Cat looked down at her laying on his shoulder. Had she always been that cute?
“As long as it isn’t your identity,” Marinette said in a joking tone. Although it wasn’t a joke and he knew it. She had always been so adamant about him not revealing his identity and every time he mentioned it, an image of his lady popped into his head saying the same thing. He would have assumed Marinette was Ladybug a long time ago, but whenever he recalled the image of her being Multimouse as she stood next to Ladybug, he realized that she couldn’t.
“No,” he responded in a joking tone as well, but Marinette could tell his heart wasn’t fully in the statement. Something was wrong with her partner and she really wanted to help him.
“It’s- Do you know- So this weekend-” As much as he tried, Cat could not find the right words. It really shouldn’t be this hard.
“Pride week,” he ended up blurting and looked over at the top of the buildings across the street, suddenly extremely worried about how she would react to this news.
“Pride week?” She questioned. She knew all about the parade that was going to be held in Paris that weekend. She even had plans to go with everyone, Alya, Nino, Adrien, Nathaniel, Alix, Rose, Juleka, Luka. So what was the problem?
Cat nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m going with a group of my friends, all of us have different sexualities, but despite the fact that I've never said anything to them, they just assumed that I’m straight.” He guessed it was probably from all of the shoots he had done with other females while modeling. It wasn’t his fault that his dad was a raging homophobe. Honestly, Adrien didn't care whether he modeled with guys or girls, it’s not like he was attracted to either gender anyway.
It was weird when he first figured this out. When he was younger, Chole would throw herself at him, giving him hugs and cheek issues. He always recoiled and chalked it up to the classic, ‘girls have cooties,’ line he always heard in movies.
But when he turned 14, his father had pressed for him to have a girlfriend for the media. Something about a business partnership that needed to happen and if he “dated” this other girl, it would solidify the contract. Sounded like something out of the 1900s to him. But, ever the people pleaser, Adrien subdued to his father’s idea and found himself dating the daughter of Calvin Klein’s CEO. Oh, what a horror those shoots were. He swore, he had never been that cold in his life.
The girl had been nice, but she had always wanted something from him. A hug, a kiss, something a little more provocative. But each time he felt the same as he had when he was with Chloe as a young child. Uncomfortable.
This is why he assumed he was gay.
Kissing Luka was not what he thought it would be. He always assumed that kissing would be romantic and that every time you kissed someone sparks flew. With Luka… it was just a kiss.
He came to the conclusion that he was not gay. It may have just been one boy and one kiss, but he never thought about boys. Come to think of it, he never thought about girls either.
He had asked Plagg about it a while ago, wondering if it was normal for an almost 18-year-old boy not to like anyone. Plagg just said, “Well, you like Ladybug don’t you?” and flew off to grab some cheese.
‘ Yeah! I do like Ladybug.’ He concluded that he was straight and just didn’t like the girls who had shown him affection.
And then Alix came out as Asexual.
He had never heard the term used before, but Alya was more than happy to give the group an explanation on Alix’s behalf. That was the beginning of when things started to make more sense. That night he had gone home and poured himself into research. He learned about all the different types of attraction, platonic, romantic, aesthetic. He read blog posts and stories of people who were questioning things just like he was.
For the first time, Adrien felt like he finally had a small understanding of who he was.
“I’m guessing you haven’t corrected their assumptions,” she said softly, giving her partner the time that he needed to talk and process everything going on in his head.
“No,” he sighed and Marinette reached up to cup his face with her hand.
“I’m sure they’ll understand Cat. I know I do,” she beamed. “You are the most kind and caring person I know, always putting others before you and helping out whenever you can. I mean, you’re a superhero for Pete’s sake!” This got a smile out of him. ‘ Finally, a true smile from her kitty.’
“Thanks Princess,” he said, giving her a small squeeze. “I think I’m just afraid to tell them because I’m not sure about it myself.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Yeah.”
For the next few minutes, Cat explained all that had happened and what he might be, not naming names of course.
“...but as you know, I like Ladybug! So I get confused whenever I think about it. Am I ace, or am I just a boy who’s only ever loved one girl?”
This made Marinette blush. She knew about Cat’s love for her alter ego, but it always gave her butterflies when he talked about it. That aside, from talking with Alix and Alya, Marinette knew a fair amount about Asexuality.
“What kind of love?” she asked him. “Because maybe it's platonic love or maybe its romantic attraction. Just because you like Ladybug, it doesn’t make you any less Asexual.”
Marinette was right, as she was 99% of the time. “I think you’re right Princess. I think my feelings for Ladybug are romantic. I want to take her on dates and hop around Paris with her, I really only think about going as far as a small kiss with her, and some hugs too. Anything else just… well I’ve thought about it but…” He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “I don’t like thinking about her, about us, in that way.”
Marinette stood up and grabbed his hand. “Well then kitty, I think you have your answer. Tell your friends, I’m sure they’ll be glad you told them.” Marinette blushed a little before continuing on. “And tell Ladybug how you feel too. Maybe the way she feels has changed. She might surprise you.”
With that, she kissed his cheek gently and unwrapped her arm from around his. “Go get some sleep kitty,” she said softly and pulled away from him.
“Thank you, Marinette. Really. It was nice to have someone listen to me.” Cat smiled, standing up and pulling her to her feet. He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled.
“I hope you have fun this weekend.”
“You too.”
“Good night Marinette.”
“Good night Cat.”
And with that, he was off, back to the Agreste Mansion. He dropped his transformation and got ready for bed, slipping into his Ladybug pyjamas. Talking his feelings out with Marinette helped a great deal, but then he realized.
“Uh, Plagg? What’s Marinette going to think when I come out to her as ace tomorrow, just as Cat did to her tonight?”
Unhelpful as always, Plagg just threw his head back in laughter.
“Oh great,” Adrien mumbled, his head falling against the pillow.
That was tomorrow’s hurdle. Tonight? Tonight he would sleep.