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On different paths - Auf Anderen Wegen

Summary:

People change... and sometimes it's too much to stay together.

Notes:

inspired by 'Auf anderen Wegen' by Andreas Bourani (On different paths)

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

"So what does this mean?" Dean asked, licking his lips, trying not to cry as he searched Cas' eyes for the love he was used to seeing in the endless blue.
"That means that we are over," Cas said, blinking tears out of his eyes as he looked away, for the first time in their relationship of five years ending a staring match.

"Cas-" Dean started. Cas lifted one hand, putting it to the side of Dean's face, pulling him down to press their foreheads together.

"I can't do this anymore," Cas whispered. "I've changed... we've both changed too much, Dean."

"I know," Dean said. "We can make this work. I love you." Cas grabbed Dean's hand to put it on his heart and placed his own hand over Dean's.

"It's not the same rhythm anymore," Cas said. "You want different things, Dean. I can't give you all that you want." He blinked, letting some tears fall, and looked up at Dean. "You deserve everything you want. I can't- I won't keep you from happiness."

"All I want is to be with you," Dean whispered. Cas smiled sadly, rubbing his thumb over Dean's cheekbone.

"You shouldn't. You belong with your brother in LA. You belong where you can make your music, where you can be who you are without hiding anything. You can't be happy here," Cas reasoned. "I'm never gonna stop loving you. But I belong here. This is my dream. I don't want to move a single inch. And you can't stay still, that's not in your soul." He pulled back, wiping his tears away, trying not to tremble.

"I don't want to lose you," Dean said. Cas turned around.

"Look at us!" Cas called. "When did we last sleep together? When did we last just take a day for us? When did we last go out? This isn't love anymore. I can't change it and I won't let you change it. I'm sorry, Dean, but we don't work." Dean nodded.

"I'm sorry too. I wish I was still the man I was when we met. Sometimes I just wish those years had never happened," Dean said, fighting his tears. "I wish we were still perfect." Cas licked his lips.

"I'll miss you," Cas offered, as though those words would console either of them somehow. Dean nodded.

"I'll miss you too," Dean murmured. He cupped Cas' jaw and bent down to kiss Cas gently. The first gentle kiss in some months. He closed his eyes and breathed Cas in.

"Goodbye, Cas," Dean spoke, voice breaking, as he pressed a kiss to his ex-lover's forehead, turning around and grabbing the bag Cas had packed for him.

 

He'd never been a guy who cried. He'd never really had a reason to. But right now he was sitting in his car on a parking lot of some diner on a interstate, crying his eyes out. Sure, they hadn't been perfect, but he still loved Cas more than anyone he'd ever loved, and he gave the man five unforgettable years of his life.

 

Cas was right though. He couldn't stay in the small town with all the judging glares they got for simply holding hands. He couldn't keep still. He needed to move, sing and say what was on his mind, not by speech but by the tunes and lyrics he wrote. He'd loved music ever since his mother sang to him, since they sang together while baking.

Cas never cared what other people thought about him, he'd always wanted to stay in his home town and he'd wanted to be a doctor ever since he lost his parents in a car crash when he was only eight.

Maybe they just weren't meant to be after all.

Notes:

As always, huge thanks to Kate!
I loved your suggestions!!! ♥

 

I highly recommend reading the work inspired by this! When I see you again is amazing and will fix all the pain I just caused.

Works inspired by this one: