Chapter Text
Second Timeline - Dead MC
You absentmindedly rubbed a pale scar on your palm–a habit you'd developed over the years. Of all your injuries, the story behind this one was the most mundane: you'd burnt yourself on a hot tray of cookies as you hurried to put them on a plate for your demonic guests. After they'd finished worrying over you, Lucifer subjected you to a terrible lecture as the others laughed in the background. It'd been embarrassing then, but now had faded to a fond memory.
"Where's your head at?" Satan grasped your hand, gently pulling it away from its incessant rubbing.
"Oh, just...old times."
He frowned, but didn't pursue it. He had only a short time allotted to visiting today and most of it had already been spent.
When he left, albeit reluctantly, you let out a breath.
You were nearing the end of your life–you were sure of it. It had been a good run, you supposed. You managed to reach a ripe old age of eighty or so years; longer than you'd expected considering the company you liked to keep.
You had your questions about what was to come. When you took your last breath, would your soul rise upwards or sink down below? Would you become an angel and spend eternity frolicking with Simeon and Luke? Or would you become a demon and finally become a true member of the House of Lamentation? Perhaps neither was true, and you'd become only a distant memory.
Death was simple. It was what came afterwards that made your head hurt.
There was a deep ache in your bones nowadays. Even the little vials of healing potions Satan delivered to you regularly weren't enough anymore.
You had a lot of visitors lately. Sometimes you could see them blink away tears before they turned away from you and pretended to busy themselves with the flower arrangements. Though they were all well-acquainted with death, it was surely something else seeing one they loved succumb to it themselves. What was a blink of an eye for a demon or an angel or a sorcerer was a lifetime for one such as you.
Humans weren't made for longevity, after all.
You weren't quite sure what the big deal was. There were really very few options here, and two out of three included an afterlife in which they could find ways to bother you for an eternity. Seemed like pretty good odds.
Every time you asked, they repeated reassurances like yes, we will still keep in contact and no, just 'cause you're dead, doesn't mean you can get rid of us. Asmodeus was already planning the party they'd be throwing to celebrate your welcome to the afterlife.
You didn't have the heart to introduce your doubts into their confident assumptions that you would join them. Their answers exposed their unwillingness to speak on the subject any further.
Sometimes, you found it a little unfair. It was your afterlife, after all, and didn't you have the right to talk about it?
But then again, it wasn't just yours–not really. This matter concerned all of them, and you probably weren't going to be the one dealing with the effects of a less-than-optimal outcome.
You were distracted from your thoughts by a brilliant blue butterfly. Chasing after it was your Hellhound, courtesy of Lucifer. He'd claimed it had been for your protection, but you saw the way he snuck the hound treats when he visited. It reminded you of Satan and his love for cats.
A knock sounded at your door. It was a familiar one, and you knew who it was instantly.
"Come in, Levi!" you called.
"As expected of my true friend!" He beamed, pushing the door open. "I didn't even have to say anything and you knew it was me!" You didn't bother pointing out the use of his signature knock.
"If it's you, Leviachan, how could I not?" you teased, setting down a tray of cookies in front of him. His blush was always the same, even if you'd changed since your youth. It was flattering that your boys were just as easily flustered by you now as they were then. You settled in across from him and resumed your conversation from last time. The two of you were deep in discussion about the latest edition of The Seven Lords, when none other than Diavolo barged in. He was followed by an exasperated Barbatos and a visibly exhausted Lucifer.
"It's done, MC!" He shoved a piece of paper in your face, but he was too excited to hold it still. "You're going to Hell!"
You couldn't help the giggle that burst out of your lips. Then the confusion set in.
"What are you talking about? You can do that?" you asked, grabbing the paper from his hands. Lots of legal drivel, signatures, and one giant dotted line for you to add your own.
"You owe me one hundred years of servitude for the paperwork I've done, MC," Lucifer complained, though there was a smile in his eyes.
"Gladly, Luci~"
At that, he broke into a full grin. "Careful making deals with the devil, beautiful."
You scoffed. "You're the beautiful one, Morningstar." You brushed a wrinkled hand lightly against his cheek. "I'm jealous of your youth." When you made to lift your hand away, he held it against his face softly.
"Out of all of us, you're the most youthful," Diavolo chortled.
"You don't have to rub it in," you grumbled. One of the things you were most looking forward to after your upcoming death would be returning to your younger form.
Barbados spoke for the first time since his arrival. "You should sign now to seal the contract. Then we can file it and rest easy knowing you'll be joining us for certain."
Levi whipped out a colorful pen, offering it to you. "I carry this limited-edition Ruri-chan pen for special occasions. This is the special-est."
You took it, handling it carefully. Then, you signed your name in great looping letters. You took a moment to admire your handiwork before returning the pen.
It was like this you spent the afternoon, celebrating your imminent return to the Devildom.
And when you waved them goodbye, you smiled, knowing you'd be seeing them much sooner than they anticipated.
So you cuddled up with your pet, uncapped the tiny bottle, and took your last breath.
†††††††
First Timeline - Original MC
You opened your eyes. That was much faster than you thought it would be. The setting was familiar, and you breathed in deeply.
It had been a while since you'd had a taste of Devildom air.
But why Barbatos' room...?
Just like the last time you'd been, there were doors upon doors, all presumably leading to different realities. You felt the slightest temptation to peek into one, but decided it was for the best if you didn't. You didn't live this long without common sense.
You heard the doorknob turn, and held your breath. Barbatos stepped in, looking the same as he had twenty minutes ago. When you were alive.
"Surprise!" You whisper-yelled, trapping him in a hug. Ah, to have your young, supple arms back.
"I have to say, this is not what I was expecting," his voice sounded genuinely shocked, which was a win in your book. It wasn't easy to catch Barbatos off guard.
"That's the point of a surprise, silly," you laughed, letting him go. Though you weren't as close to Barbatos as you were the others, he was still a good friend, and you'd known each other long enough that you knew how to read his facial expressions. This was one you'd be savoring for a long time: eyes widened and lips slightly parted. If you had your DDD, you'd be taking pictures. "Diavolo's around, right? I wanna go surprise him, too."
You tugged Barbatos' arm as you walked out of his room, quickly looking from side-to-side to make sure the coast was clear. After your many trips to the castle over the years, you practically knew the place like the back of your hand.
"Where would he be..." you muttered to yourself as you walked towards his bedroom. If he was in there, then perfect, it'd be a surprise. If he wasn't, then you'd surprise him when he inevitably entered his own room. Barbatos was still being dragged around silently behind you. "Don't warn him, B. You know I've wanted to get my revenge ever since he showed up at my house banging together pans in the dead of night just because he was inspired by a dumb video on Levi's phone." Your neighbors had not been happy. "I can feel you texting right now."
You felt him put his DDD away. That was better.
When you reached your destination, you pressed your ear against the door, listening for any movement. There it was: a little flutter of leathery wings.
You slid Barbatos' phone out of his pocket silently, and turned on the camera. Throwing the door wide open, you yelled, "surprise!" and watched as he shot up into the air. You sent the recording to your phone (the one residing in your room in the House of Lamentation), wordlessly handed it back to Barbatos, and began to coax the royal down from the ceiling.
"MC!" Diavolo smiled and dived down to you. You would've been scared of him crashing into you if he hadn't pulled this trick a million times already. "Back already? I knew I could count on you."
His statement struck you as odd. What did he mean 'back already'? That implied you were here in the first place. But you weren't; you had been in the human world for the last few years after everyone had deemed it unsafe to continue visiting in your old age.
"My Lord," Barbatos spoke for the first time since you'd met him in his room, "I believe something else has transpired here. This is not the MC we were expecting. Or, rather, not exactly."
You looked between them, watching as they sent silent messages through their gazes alone. You sighed, slumping into a nearby chair. Stranger things had happened. Although you weren't expecting your death to be interrupted like this.
Nothing could ever be simple, could it?
Diavolo's smile dropped into a serious line. "Let's chat, shall we?"