Chapter Text
Hello, valued reader. Before the chapter truly begins, it is behooven of the author to inform you that there will be certain moments in here that may concern some of you. Hopefully it did not escape your notice that certain tensions have been rising and now demand a...release.
If such content bothers you, it may be in your best interest to skip the rest of this chapter…..and perhaps the next one. While there will be information that will be revealed and tears to be shed, the author promises to try and stick any pertinent information in a note in the following chapter for readers who wish to keep their innocence regarding this story intact.
The author would also like to add that these notes, while sometimes given in a teasing manner, are in no way meant to offend. Merely to entertain. That being said, for any brave enough to uncover the material that makes this story so... mature ...kindly read on, and enjoy.
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4 Years Ago, The Night Before Rey Left
"I wish you didn't have to go." Ben whispered, stroking Rey's hair as they cuddled on his bed late at night.
Her face was tucked into his chest, which muffled her reply. Grumbling, Rey lifted up and tilted her face to gaze at him. "It's the right thing to do." She repeated sadly.
Ben sighed. "I know." He cupped her face, hair spilling through his fingertips as he massaged her scalp absentmindedly. "But I will still miss you. Every waking moment that passes, I will miss you, Rey."
Rey pulled away, sitting so that she was on the edge of the bed with feet on the floor. He watched quietly as she rose, turning slightly from him to stand facing the candle lit on the nightstand. "I love you too, Ben." He sat in stunned silence as she began tugging at her night clothes, which was just an old shirt of Ben's.
"Rey-" He choked.
"I don't know what our future holds. I could die in a shipwreck or storm; you could be struck down by a disease or ruffians." She turned to him, her fingers hesitant as she continued. "I know we wanted to wait until after our marriage, but I need you, Ben Solo." Her skin glowed in the dim light as Rey looked at him with an aching smile. "It may not be recognized by any religion, but between us and the Almighty, take me as yours and make me your wife."
He rose from the bed, bending so that their foreheads touched as he pulled Rey's hands away from her shirt. "Rey...sweetheart, we shouldn't ." He murmured, the agony raw in his voice.
Rey flinched. "Do-do you not want to?" She sounded so young then, so unbelievably small that it made Ben ache .
Ben tugged her into a hug, clasping her body to his as they both trembled with emotion. "I want to. More than anything. But...what about your virtue? What if you regret this?" He asked, his face hidden in her hair.
"Never. I will never regret you, Ben Solo." She nudged him until he sat back on the bed and stepped between his legs. Rey's hands splayed across his cheeks as she forced Ben to meet her solemn gaze. "What we share is a true love; a love so deep and rare that most people never experience a fraction of what we feel for one another."
She leaned closer, bending to where if Ben were to look down he would see her breasts dangling from the gape in the shirt. But he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from those soulful orbs that glistened with love and a fear that he would refuse her.
Ben reached up and took her hands, pushing Rey back so that he could loosen the ties on the shirt. He swallowed hard and met her eyes before speaking. "I, Ben, take you, Rey, to be my wife; as you, Rey, take me, Ben, to be your husband."
Tears began flooding from her eyes as she choked out, "Ben!"
"To have and to hold, from this day forward-" Ben continued, a tear slipping from his own eye to drip slowly down as he smiled at his farm girl.
"For better, for worse-" Rey whispered.
"For richer, for poorer-" The shirt fell on the floor as Ben continued, Rey stepping out of it to stand bare before him.
"In sickness and in health-" Rey breathed as she helped Ben to take his own shirt off, leaving only an old pair of bottoms he wore to preserve a sense of decorum when holding Rey at night. But there was no further need for that now.
He stood and pulled the garment off, abandoning it on the floor along with their shirts. Ben reached and picked Rey up in his arms, turning them both to lay her against the sheets, as he murmured, "To love and to cherish, always and forever-"
Rey leaned up for a kiss, a sweet touch of their lips before she added, "Until death dares to part us."
"Until death dares to part us." Ben agreed.
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"Do you remember...the night before I left?"
Kylo had reclined on Wykit's bedding, unable to stand for too long against the lower ceiling. His heart in his throat, Kylo couldn't look away as Rey leaned against the wall to tug off her boots. When what she had said registered, he blinked.
"I've never forgotten." And he hadn't-every day there was something to remind him. A candle, old shirts, the love that the two shared; it was the little things that would spark a memory. While older moments faded into the sea of time, certain points shone as diamonds. That night was the brightest of them all, a radiant star in an otherwise dim sky.
"I meant them." Rey said lowly without turning around. "Our vows...I meant them." The confidence she had shown earlier had diminished. Pain radiated through every word, leaving Kylo cursing himself thoroughly.
A stiff neck and low ceilings be damned. He got up and circled her from behind, trapping Rey against his chest. "I did too." He swore.
Rey brought her arms up to clutch at his. "I've been with no one else. Only you." Her quiet confession warmed him.
"You were my first," He whispered, "my first and only."
Rey's head tilted to the side, glancing at him over her shoulder. "You mean, you never-with Phasma…?" Her voice gave out and he wanted to punish himself at how much she must have been suffering all this time.
For four years his wife had remained loyal to only him, and when she finally returned it was to discover Kylo with another woman. Yes, it had been four years, and he had believed Rey dead. But that did not diminish or belittle the pain she must be feeling.
"The only woman I have ever had in my bed is a certain farm girl now in my arms." Kylo told Rey, nuzzling her neck tenderly before pressing a kiss to her pulse, feeling it jump beneath his lips. "The only woman I have ever kissed is a certain pirate here in my arms." A brush of his lips against her jaw elicited a tiny exhale. "The only woman-" A caress against her cheek, "-I have ever loved -", a tiny crack in his voice over the word, "-is a certain wife finally in my arms".
Gasping, her chest heaving, Rey tilted her head back; peering up at him with reddened eyes. "I need you, Ben Solo." Her hand reached up and stroked down his jaw. "But I'm afraid."
Kylo kissed at her fingers. "What are you afraid of, sweetheart?" He begged between each touch of his lips. "Tell me. Please?"
The words spilled from her lips in a hesitant stutter, the trepidation clear for Kylo to see. "I'm not the same girl you once knew. The things I have experienced, the trials I faced...each left their mark. Some more...physical than others."
Kylo paused. "What do you mean?" He breathed numbly.
"I have-" she took a fortifying breath, "I have scars, Ben."
Scars. Scars?! Kylo bent and scooped Rey into his arms, placing her reverently on the bedding to kneel before her with frantic need. He had to see for himself-every hurt and every blemish that marred that gorgeous skin.
"Ben?" Rey asked tentatively.
Kylo's fingers touched the fabric of her shirt, rubbing it as he gazed into her eyes. "May I see?" Rey agreed with a tiny nod. Together they pulled her shirt over her head; revealing a torso that had become slightly muscled, with breasts that were hidden by a band of fabric hugging her chest.
Reading late into the night had Kylo well used to viewing objects in dim lighting. It was with great sorrow that he saw Rey was right; the years had not always been kind to her. "Oh, my love." Kylo leaned in and pressed his tremulous mouth against a vicious scar near her shoulder; tasting the skin and wishing that with the strength of will and touch alone, that he would be able to rid Rey of every last one.
"I know. They're hideous, aren't they?" She asked in a self-deprecating tone.
Kylo pulled away to grip at her chin, forcing Rey to meet his eyes. " Never- " he growled wetly, " -ever- say that about any part of you." He traced the scar he had kissed, ignoring the shiver she gave in return. "This," he indicated the mark, "this proves that you survived. That you faced whatever danger, pushed through, and were victorious. What you consider ugly, I only see as beautiful, Rey."
A tiny puff of air escaped from her mouth before she jerked forward, claiming Kylo's in a passionate kiss. Pulling back, she murmured against his lips, "Then let us finish what we started, because four years without you was four years too long. Make love to me, husband. Let it be that my body will not soon forget your touch. Kiss me- now ."
Kylo grinned before whispering, "As you wish." Together the couple unraveled her breast band, laughing as they attempted to do so between kisses. Clothes were quickly divested and cast aside, and the two halves eagerly moved to finally rejoin as one soul.
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"I've never done this before." Ben confessed, trying not to shy away from Rey's wandering gaze over his torso. She met his eyes, a blush tinting her cheeks until they glowed with a rosy hue.
"Neither have I." She replied.
Tangling their hands together, Ben brought her wrist to his mouth and pressed a kiss there. "We can figure it out together, then."
"Together." Rey agreed with a tender smile.
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"It's been so long since we have done this." Rey murmured from beneath Kylo. He had encouraged her to sprawl out, giving him a breathtaking view of his gloriously naked wife...scars and all. Just-just beautiful. It wasn't until Rey huffed and squirmed a little that Kylo realized he had spoken that last bit aloud.
"I know." Feeling nostalgic, he grabbed her wrist and kissed it, remembering that night so long ago. "We can figure this out like we did before."
Rey smiled up at him as sweetly as she had that night. "Together?"
Kylo nipped at her finger. "Always."
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Ben wasn't quite sure where to begin. Both of them knew the mechanics of joining their bodies-how many times had they seen livestock rutting together in the pastures and fields? Yet the thought of taking Rey in that way made him blush furiously.
"What's wrong?"
"How do we-what should I do?" Dear lord, he felt pathetic. Ben was sure any other man would have known what to do in the bedroom...but he had absolutely no clue.
Rey shrugged. "Kiss me? And then we can just...go from there?"
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Kylo had no idea how he wanted to start. It wasn't from lack of experience-not this time. True, while they had only been together that one night, he had not been completely idle the past few years. It was amazing just what servants would let slip when they believed there was no one around to listen. Kylo, while apathetic at the time, was now grateful that he had managed to catch the helpful information that had unknowingly been slipped to him.
"Everything alright?"
He brushed a hair from her cheek, watching as it slipped through his fingers. "Just trying to decide what to do first."
Rey tilted her head back and laughed, a bright joyous sound that filled Kylo with such peace. "How about you kiss me, and we can go from there?" She teased.
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Rey's breasts were so….so…..perfect. Ben privately thought that there were no words in the English language that would ever aptly describe how beautiful they were. His hands currently rested on them, and he could feel as the little nubs pebbled. Curious, he thumbed them and nearly jerked away at the breathless gasp Rey gave.
"Did I hurt you?" He asked in alarm, about to pull away.
Rey's hands shot out and grabbed him, refusing to let him move. "Please. Don't stop."
Ben tilted his head, hair falling down around his flaming cheeks. "Let me know if I hurt you." He begged. Rey nodded, reaching up to put her hands on his chest. Together, they explored each other's body, tracing the skin they could reach and marveling.
He cupped her bosom, repeating his earlier action that had caused such a reaction from her. Rey retaliated by doing the same, causing Ben to jerk at the sensation. How had he never realized how sensitive he was on his nipples?
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Kylo worked his way down from Rey's mouth, nipping and tasting the flesh beneath his lips. He made sure to pay special attention to every mark he found, wanting her to have a memory to overshadow any lingering pain from receiving them in the first place.
Grabbing her hands, he brought them to her breasts, his eyes dark as he glanced up at her. "Show me." There was no need to elaborate-Rey knew what he wanted. Mouth parted, she began kneading the globes with her fingers. "Beautiful." And the sight before him truly was-getting to see her find pleasure made him want to never allow her to experience anything else.
He ducked back down, continuing his exploration of her skin as he traced his way further down her body. Kylo knew where he wanted to go, and anticipation buzzed throughout his body at the thought of what he had planned.
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"Don't stop!" Ben gasped. Rey widened her eyes and brought her finger back up to feel his nipple again. Any pressure she gave, Ben reciprocated, and soon the two were shuddering under the sensations their bodies were experiencing.
He wondered; leaning down, he pressed his mouth against her nipple, taking the nub into his mouth and suckling. Judging by the moan Rey gave, he was beginning to gain confidence; perhaps he wasn't as bad at this as he feared. After all, this was all for his wife-any action they take tonight would be in the name of love. Their love.
Ben had hardened against her earlier, and with every touch, every kiss, liquid began to slowly weep from his tip. After a few more moments, he had to stop her from continuing to touch his chest. "I don't want this to be over before we begin." He explained bashfully at her questioning look.
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" Ben !" The shout Rey had given when Kylo had put his mouth on her had him smirking into her skin. Wetness had pooled and he lapped eagerly, feasting on his wife. Her hands gripped his hair, hard , and he felt as his face was shoved further into her.
Her unspoken wish was his command-he continued his exploration, tracing over that intimate place with his tongue; glorying in the sounds his beloved was giving. Rey especially seemed to enjoy when he paid attention to a little nub hidden at the top of her folds.
Her breathing grew wilder, grip tighter, body trembling; and Kylo knew when she had reached her peak because liquid came gushing from her as she cried out into the room loudly. He continued licking her, drawing the waves of pleasure out as long as possible until she nudged him away, oversensitive.
" What -in the hell -was that ?" Rey rasped harshly. Kylo lifted up and saw her glaring down at him-what had he done wrong?
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He reached down with his hand, feeling wetness between her legs. That was good-he didn't want to hurt her. "Oh, please, Ben!" He took himself in hand and guided himself down to her entrance. Rubbing along, he gathered some of her wetness onto his length before he tried to push into her body.
Immediately, Ben could tell something was wrong-Rey's face had tightened in pain. He pulled away, reaching forward to cup her face. "Sweetheart- Rey- did I hurt you? What happened?"
"I wasn't expecting you to be so...big." Both of them flushed at that admission. Tears welled in her eyes and she turned her face away in shame. "I feel so foolish-I'm so sorry ."
Ben maneuvered so that he was behind Rey, cradling her against his chest. Kissing her shoulder, he whispered comfort into her ear as he rocked them back and forth.
"We will figure this out, I promise." He pressed his lips against her cheek, sipping away the liquid and tasting the salty bitterness of her tears. "I love you-everything will be okay."
"How do you know?" She asked between shuddering breaths. Oh, his darling farm girl. For the first time, Ben wished that he had been born a little smaller so that he hadn't caused her such pain.
He hugged her to him, tucking his face into her neck. Nuzzling at the skin there, his lips pressed sweetly against her flesh. "Because I'm with you." He replied gently.