Chapter Text
Yoongi works a lot . The idea of a 40 hour work week? Laughable. Try 72. It would be more, but Jin insists on Sunday being “family day”. He doesn’t mind the workload too much, because he loves what he does, and wouldn’t give up any of it for the world.
Yoongi would never admit it, but there are times when it all gets to be a little too much to handle. Like right now. He’s been working on this track for hours and he just can’t get it to sound right.
Yoongi has one hand on his mouse, the other gripping a fist full of minty green hair when he hears a light knock at his door. Yoongi lets out a sigh and rubs his hands roughly over his face with a whispered, “ Get it together, Yoongi.”
“Come in.”
Hoseok walks in, iced americano in hand.
“You’ve been in the studio a while, and I promised Jin-hyung that I’d come check on you. I brought you some coffee.”
The tension from Yoongi’s sore and overtired body is rolling off of him in waves that Hoseok can feel as he comes up beside Yoongi. He places his hand on Yoongi’s shoulder and begins to massage the area, squeezing firmly with his thumb moving in circles. Yoongi sighs and relaxes into his hand, wincing occasionally as his knots are being worked. All of the stress is catching up to him, and it’s too much. The mini massage feels so good that Yoongi starts slipping a little. A lump forms in his throat and tears are stinging in his eyes. Before he can focus on the feeling too much, he swivels in his chair and buries himself into Hoseok’s tummy, breathing his best friend in and letting out a shaky breath.
He wasn’t used to the other members knowing yet, didn’t know if he ever would be.
It was just a few weeks ago that they discovered his “little” side. He had a particularly rough time at rehearsals that day and he was tired and fed up. He had decided to go to his room to decompress in lieu of having dinner with everyone, regrettably snapping at one or two of the boys on his way up. He fished out his only pacifier, pastel blue, from his bedside table and climbed into bed. He unlocked his phone and searched for his lullaby playlist, setting the volume to low, and sliding it under his pillow. This was a normal routine for him, save for the fact that he neglected to lock his door. Later that night, Namjoon came in to check on him, wholly unprepared to see Yoongi fast asleep, knees tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped around a pillow, suckling on a pacifier. Namjoon didn’t know what to do. He just stood there for a few minutes before softly shutting the door. The next morning, he pulled Yoongi aside to tell him about what he saw and to apologize profusely for intruding. Yoongi insisted that it was okay, and called a family meeting that evening to tell them about his littlespace. He decided it would be better to come clean to prevent any more surprises. He informed them about what Namjoon had walked into, gave a brief explanation of ageplay and littlespace, and explained that it was something he did to destress and to cope. Everyone was supportive of Yoongi and Yoongi kept it as hidden as possible and that was that.
Hoseok and Namjoon however, had taken a special interest in Yoongi. At every turn, Hoseok was not-so-subtly trying to encourage Yoongi into sharing his little self with him. Promises of “ My door’s always open for you, hyung,” and “ Let’s take a nap together,” were frequent. Hoseok, being Hoseok of course, slowly wore down Yoongi enough to start showing some vulnerability. It never lasted long, but hey, progress is progress.
Namjoon on the other hand was a different story. He didn’t pester Yoongi the same way Hoseok did. Rather, he very quietly acknowledged and catered to Yoongi’s little side. Sometimes he would casually leave Disney+ open before Yoongi returned home from the studio, or ask Jin to make Yoongi’s pancake with chocolate chips in the shape of a heart or smiley face. One day, Yoongi found a brand new pacifier in his nightstand, pink with a gray kitten on the button, beside it a handwritten note.
Yoongi,
I hope you can forgive me for intruding on such a personal part of yourself. I’ve been doing a lot of research about what you told us, and I think I understand now. I’m sorry for not being able to help you sooner, it saddens me to know that you’ve been doing this all alone. Ten years we’ve been living together and I never knew. It does make sense now though, all the nights you turned in earlier than the rest of us. Yoongi, you’re not alone anymore, and you don’t have to hide any more. I want to help you. Please know that Bangtan loves you, and accepts you fully.
Love,
Namjoon
Gentle hands rub at Yoongi’s back, bringing him back to the present moment.
“Aigo. It’s okay, sweetheart. You can let go with me, remember?”
Yoongi shakes his head and grips the back of Hoseok’s shirt tight. Tears have been escaping him as well as wet little sniffles.
Hoseok pulls back slowly and places each of his hands on either side of Yoongi’s face, wiping falling tears away with gentle thumbs.
“What’s the matter, baby?”
“‘S too hard, Hobi. Song sounds stupid.”
“How about we take a little break to cool down, and then Hobi can help you with your track after?”
Yoongi closes his eyes and nods. He feels two warm hands moving along his arms, prying his hands from Hoseok’s shirt. Fingers interlock with his own and he’s tugged out of his seat. He’s guided to the couch where Hoseok takes a seat. Yoongi stands between his spread legs, bashfully avoiding eye contact, right hand coming up to rub his left arm. Hoseok watches him fondly and pats the empty space beside him.
“Don’t you want to sit with Hobi-Hobi, baby?” The nicknames he’s been using are a little risky as they might embarrass Yoongi and cause him to come out of his headspace, but so far so good.
Yoongi scuffs his shoes together for a few moments, face blooming red, before scrambling into Hoseok’s lap, legs on either side and head buried into his neck. Hoseok stills for a moment, totally shocked by the boy’s behavior. Yoongi wiggles in his lap and whines lightly, as if he were about to cry. Hoseok brings his hands up to rub Yoongi’s back in circular motions.
Yoongi’s head is heavy on Hoseok’s shoulder. They’ve been sitting like this for a little while now, Hoseok switching between back rubs, head rubs, and tight hugs. He has his arms wrapped around Yoongi when he hears a strange sound coming from the sleeping boy. Hoseok cocks his head and looks down to see Yoongi with his thumb in his mouth, suckling gently. He can hardly contain the smile that spreads across his face. Is it a little different? Sure. Is it the cutest and most endearing thing he’s ever seen? Absolutely.
Arms wrapped around the little once more, Hoseok begins to sway and hum lightly. He’s not humming any song in particular, just soothing nonsense. Unfortunately the moment doesn’t last very long, and his phone starts buzzing. He slips his phone out of his pocket as gently as he can without disturbing Yoongi. It’s Namjoon.
Hoseok answers with a whisper.
“Hi, Joon-ah.”
“Hey, where are you? I thought you’d be back home by now. Jimin said you were supposed to take him shopping.”
“Crap that’s right. Tell him I’m sorry, and that I’ll be back soon.”
“Hyung, is everything okay?”
“Yeah well, I decided to check in on Yoons and bring him some coffee before I left the studio. You know how he’s been overworking himself lately, especially since the day that he told us about...you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” Namjoon sighed, “ever since he told us all about his regression and little space, he’s been distant and working himself to the bone. I’m worried about him to be honest with you.”
“Well that’s the thing Joon. He, uh, how do I say this. I think he slipped. Like, you know, regressed or whatever. I think it all finally caught up to him. I’ve been trying to get him to show me his little side for weeks now, and I know you have, too. He’s been pushing me away at every turn but today he..he didn’t. And now he’s asleep on top of me. Sucking his thumb.”
“Sucking his thumb?”
“You heard me.” Hoseok pauses and takes a deep breath. “Listen, Namjoon. I think I get it now. He looks so peaceful. This is the most relaxed I’ve seen him in a really long time. Let’s try to help him, yeah? He trusts you a lot.”
Yoongi starts to wake up while Hoseok is talking to Namjoon. At first he feels warmth, and weight resting against his back. Next he smells laundry detergent and cologne. Finally, he registers the rumbling beneath his head.
“Hey I gotta go. Yeah, he’s waking up.”
His eyes flutter open, and he cranes his head up to get a good look at his best friends face. Yoongi feels so safe in this moment, he loves being held like this, although he does wonder what it would be like to be held by someone larger. Someone tall, with broad shoulders. He wonders what it would be like to feel tiny. But this is nice. This is good.
“Yes, I’ll make sure to bring him with me.”
Hoseok ends the call and sets his phone down.
“Hey sweetheart, did you have a nice nap?”
Yoongi nods and shuts his eyes again, hoping his blush isn’t showing too much.
“It’s time to go home, buddy.”
Yoongi groans and removes his thumb from his mouth with a little wet pop , pushing himself away from Hoseok.
“Nuh uh, none of that. Namjoonie will have my head if I don’t get you home. You need food and rest. You’ve been holed up in your studio for too long. We can revisit your track tomorrow, I promise.”
Yoongi hmphs cutely and gets out of Hoseok’s lap to start packing his things up. He eyes the coffee that’s certainly watered down by now, before taking a long sip. Not too bad. He slings his backpack over his shoulder. Hoseok gets the door for him and they walk down to the entrance of the building in an awkward, albeit comfortable, silence.
Before reaching the entrance, Yoongi stops and gives a gentle tug to Hoseok’s shirt.
“Thank you, Hope-ah… F-for.. All that… And for not judging me. I know it’s weird and I know there’s something wrong with me-”
He’s interrupted by a hand ruffling his hair
“No worries, kiddo.”
Yoongi smacks his hand away and makes for the door.
Hoseok bursts into peals of laughter.
“Just wait until your precious Namjoonie gets to see what I saw!” Hoseok sing-songs.
“Yah! You better keep your mouth shut! That’s the last time I share anything with you!”
“As if the whole dorm doesn’t already know about your little crush!”
“It’s not a crush!”