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"Rin?" Sesshomaru's amber eyes bore into her wide brown eyes.
She was at a loss for words. Her tongue felt thick and heavy in her mouth. She knew if she spoke now it would come out as something stuttered.
She looked down at the scroll before her on the small table once more. She sighed heavily and stared at the kanji written up and down, right to left. She scanned it again, trying to formulate her words in her mind.
Miroku-sama said I was not ready to debate Sesshomaru. Now, I realize too late that he was quite right. Now I am at a loss!
The silence bore on. Sesshomaru sat across from her patiently, chewing on some freshly cut melon Rin picked for him that morning. Rin lifted the scroll and blocked her sight of Sesshomaru as she felt her cheeks run hot.
It was embarrassing to be outwitted by a daiyoukai on the topic of Buddhism. Who knew that the aloof daiyoukai was interested in the ningen Buddha? Rin had not count on his interest in learning her culture.
Miroku-sama is not going to be surprised by my defeat, but he will be severely disappointed when I don't make contributions.
"Rin there is no shame in saying you do not understand the written word." Sesshomaru said on the other side of the scroll. It was gentle, but it felt like a slap to the face. It may as well have been.
Rin sniffled. She felt dumb and unworthy of her very intellectual daiyoukai. "I-I have read this several times." She lowered the scroll and kept her gaze down at the kanji. Ideas jumped at her everywhere, but it did not refute his earlier statement. "The world to me simply exists in and of itself and there is a changing reality, what does the Buddha suggest, Rin?"
She knew the moment she conceded defeat, she would simply remember the words that were just at the edge of her mind. Everything was just a fog right now. Words wanting to rise to the tip of her tongue, meet her teeth, and leave her lips. Nothing came from her.
She fisted the skirts of her pink kimono. Being fifteen was difficult enough, but her betrothed was centuries older than her.
His knowledge seemed to be infinite. Even about the ways of ningens it seemed.
She knew nothing about youkai other than Sesshomaru ate fruits and drank clear liquids, quietly indulging in her cooked meat or fish occasionally, mostly to amuse her. In comparison, Jaken, Shippo, A-Un, Kirara, and Inuyasha all ate meat and vegetables as part of their diets.
She wondered if Sesshomaru was just a fussy eater or if an Inu daiyoukai (Inuyasha was only half after all) were primarily vegetarians. Rin mulled over the idea to ask Godobo-sama herself what her preferences would be for the wedding feast. Rin would make her observations after that.
She heard a soft "Hn." She turned her gaze to Sesshomaru who was now leaning over her table and reaching out to cup her cheek. "Why must you push yourself?"
She tried not to pout like a child, but her lips turned down and her brow creased, "I have been studying everyday! Why can't I remember anything when I am with you?!" She let the words tumble out.
His amber eyes glittered in amusement and she felt her ire rise. He found it amusing that she was struggling with philosophy she had been studying for five years, nearly every day. She was a diligent student, Miroku even told her that she was more studious than he was at her age.
Sesshomaru leaned in close and she felt his fingers shift and twine in her hair, "You are simply thinking too many things at once." He murmured before pressing his lips to hers.
She sat there stunned. Rarely did he initiate a kiss. She was the one who would reach her arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss. She reached out and rubbed his ear, which he gave a soft grunt and pulled back after pressing his lips once more against hers. She wondered if it was because they were at his mother's palace rather than the village. "Sesshomaru, I concede defeat. I am merely a simple peasant." She sighed out against his lips, their noses still touching.
His brow creased minutely, and she saw his jaw tense, feeling the muscle twitch under her palm. He grabbed her wrist and turned his head and kissed her palm, "You are Rin, Rin is perfect." He let go of her wrist to sit back on his behind. He raised his left knee, letting his elbow rest on it. "Rin do you feel stupid?" He asked her softly, a tone he reserved for her.
She nodded and saw his shoulders rise before he sighed quietly, shoulders dropping.
"This Sesshomaru's future wife has many skills. She must learn for herself what they are. This one will only offer encouragement." He stared at her as if willing her to list off her skills.
She knew not what to list.
She looked down at the scroll and rolled it shut. She looked out of his study through the open shoji door at his mother's palace. She sighed softly, "It's nearing sunset." She said softly.
"Hn, what if this one desired to keep you here?" Sesshomaru asked her.
She looked to him and smirked, "Expect two taijiyas, two mikos, a monk, a couple youkai, and your brother coming here and disturbing the peace."
Sesshomaru turned his gaze away from hers, "Do you enjoy the village more than this one's company?" Sesshomaru asked her.
"I love our time together, but you promised Kaede-obaasan to have her raise me until I was sixteen and ready to make my choice." She reminded him gently. Though her decision was clear, they were getting married on her sixteenth birthday.
He shifted on his spot and stood up. She watched him walk over to where his armour rested on a stand. Without a word he had agreed. Rin stood as well and grabbed her scroll along with the book Godobo-sama gifted her when she received Rin and Sesshomaru upon their arrival.
She had yet to look at the book but would do so once home, teaching Shiori on the futon they shared. She could at least pass on the good deed Miroku had done for her.
Sesshomaru slid in Tenseiga beside Bakusaiga and Rin followed him out of the study and into the garden. A-Un laid curled up on the grass, Jaken sitting on the grass and reading a scroll himself. "Milord, you will not get Rin home in time, the sun is setting already." Jaken chided his lord softly.
"Hn." Sesshomaru turned to Rin and took a few steps toward her. "Jaken stay here and let A-Un rest." Sesshomaru said before lifting Rin up, an arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders, hand curling around her arm.
Jaken protested as Rin squeaked. Sesshomaru leapt into the air and Rin clung tightly to her scroll and book, eyes squeezing shut as the wind whipped around them. She turned her face into his pelt as the cold hair hit her cheeks. "Sesshomaru, how do you fly in the wind like this all the time?" She shouted over the wind.
"Hmph, this isn't as fast as I could go." Sesshomaru reminded her.
We truly are leagues apart. Rin miserably thought.
It had been a week since Sesshomaru's last visit and Rin, like she knew it would happen, knew the answer to his question the moment he left. "Nothing exists in and of itself and there is no unchanging reality behind the world of flux."1
She wasn't stupid after all. Only when she was with him.
Miroku had asked how her debate was with Sesshomaru the next day, Hisui sitting on her lap as they drank tea. She had confessed to her failures as his student. He took it well; it was the young child in her lap who clucked his tongue at her. "Rin-obasan, you must not shame Chichi-ue and simply concede defeat!" Hisui then went on to lecture her until Miroku pulled him out of Rin's lap and sent him off.
She read the scroll again on the one week anniversary of her self-realization that Sesshomaru was just too good for her. She closed it again and laid back on the grass.
"Rin, you think too much." Inuyasha said as he stood over her and looked down at her. "You didn't even hear me call your name. Lucky it was me and not someone with ill intent."
She pouted and waved the scroll up at him, "Inuyasha-nii, I don't want to be stupid. So, I study hard everyday and I'm still stupid."
"You're not stupid." Inuyasha frowned and grabbed the scroll from her outstretched hand. He rolled it open and made a face and rolled it back, "Who cares about the Buddha?"
"Excuse me?" Miroku called out. "The Buddha and his teachings have many valuable lessons! Right children?"
"Hai, Chichi-ue!" All three shouted. Hisui holding his father's hand, the girls holding each others' and the baby was asleep and strapped to his back.
Rin sat up as Inuyasha sat down beside her on the grass. "Miroku-sama, I have done my best and I cannot win against Sesshomaru. I need guidance!"
Miroku smiled and let go of Hisui's hand. The boy ran over with his sisters. They crowded Rin and Inuyasha as Miroku joined them and eased the baby off his back and let Rin hold the youngest. "Why must you beat Sesshomaru in a debate so much?" He asked her gently.
Inuyasha scoffed, "She can't beat him physically."
"He's a Daiyoukai, Chichi-ue!" Hisui exclaimed and then leaned in and kissed his little brother's cheek, "Haru, you sleep well in Rin-obasan's arms."
Rin nodded in agreement, "I have nothing else but my words."
Miroku sighed and tapped his chin. "Perhaps a visit to the Shinto dedicated to the goddess Benzaiten, she is responsible for everything that flows, words, eloquence, and music. But she's also…"
"Really?! She's perfect, I must go and pray to Benzaiten!" Rin shouted and Haru let out a wail. She apologized to Inuyasha as he winced and grabbed Haru from her. Rin saw Inuyasha rock Haru, taking pointers, unwanted or not, from Hisui. The girls got up and decided to pick flowers in the field.
"Rin, you must learn to contain your excitability." Miroku chided her.
"Gomen," Rin smiled, "Miroku-sama can you take me to the Shinto?"
Miroku hummed softly, "There is one just a half days journey if we ask for Kirara to help us. Kohaku is in the village."
Rin clapped her hands together, "Hai!"
"We can go tomorrow, early in the morning." Miroku explained.
"Chichi-ue, I want to go to the temple too!" Hisui tugged on Miroku's sleeve.
"Iie, who will play with Haru?" Miroku leaned down and Hisui grabbed his face between his small palms. "I hope you will care for him in my absence."
Hisui mulled the words and then grinned, "Hai, Chichi-ue." He said with a nod of his head.
Sesshomaru overheard the conversation between his betrothed and the monk.
She still does not see? Sesshomaru watched as Inuyasha's head turned in his direction for a minute moment. Sesshomaru turned around and retreated further into the woods. He would deal with the monk and then bring his betrothed in the morning to the Shinto that he knew lay to the east.
He smirked to himself as Rin had ignored the last of the monk's attempted words. Sesshomaru knew of the tales of Benzaiten and her additional role.
He wondered if Rin had even bothered to learn the roles of any of the deities.
Iie, she is much too carefree. Inuyasha has been a bad influence on her in that regard despite her tremendous efforts to learn everything.
He liked those quirks about his Rin. When she would have the urge to fill the silence with her words, soft and comforting or loud and excited, and telling him about their time apart. He also enjoyed watching her smile as he brought her to a new field of flowers, Jaken chiding her as she kicked off her sandals and pulled off her tabi. "How else can I feel the earth beneath my feet, Jaken-sama?" She would ask with a smile and take off running, long dark hair streaming out behind her. He enjoyed watching her gleeful smile, cheeks blushing as he caught her gaze and held it. He could hear her heartbeat thundering and beating as hard and fast as his.
He enjoyed when they were alone in his study, Rin slicing her collection of fruit from his Haha-ue's garden. She had even been bold enough a couple months back to let him rest his head on her lap as she fed him. That was something he intended to return to again and again. He enjoyed the treatment. The way she hummed softly and brushed his bangs back to trace his crescent moon with her free hand. Her closeness, the intoxicating scent of her arousal so close yet still out of reach.
After all, he promised to not have her until she was sixteen.
Five months had never seemed so long in his entire existence. Not even when his Chichi-ue promised to return to play with the Kemari ball back when he was very young did time seem to drag on.
Sesshomaru waited patiently near the monk's home. The taijiya greeted him as she hung the laundry. "Hello Sesshomaru-sama, why are you here?" Sango asked with a frown.
"I wish to speak to your husband." Sesshomaru stated and stood there in her yard.
"He has taught Rin everything he knows. She's just more survival smarts like Inuyasha, don't be hard on him." Sango lifted the empty basket on her hip.
"Hn." He replied with and Sango shrugged as she walked back into the house.
Less than an hour later, the monk returned with his brood of children. The children singing happily away with their father. The monk didn't look surprised, but the children ran up to Sesshomaru and tried to touch Mokomoko, a game of theirs since they realized his threats to leave them in the woods alone were idle and he would cause them no harm. The children simply meant too much to Rin.
Sesshomaru leapt up and hovered over them. All three pouted up at him.
"Go on in, little ones. I must speak to ojisan about obasan." Miroku said with a smile and handed the baby to one of the girls. All four went inside and Miroku waited for Sesshomaru to touch down onto the ground.
He still did not enjoy being called 'ojisan' by a bunch of little ningens. Again, he tolerated it for Rin. He would also have to eventually concede to allowing the children to touch his Mokomoko. The idea of leaping into the air every time he saw them was going to run thin on his patience once the manor was finished outside of the village for him and Rin.
"I assume you heard our conversation earlier." Miroku said as he folded his arms into his sleeves.
Of course, Miroku sensed his youki. Sesshomaru looked at him impassively, "This Sesshomaru will be taking his Rin to the Shinto tomorrow morning." Sesshomaru stated.
Miroku's sigh was long and grating on Sesshomaru's nerves. "She'll be more upset if it's you. Besides," Miroku unfolded his arms and let his arms fall open, palms up toward Sesshomaru. "You are a daiyoukai! They may try to kill you and that will really upset her."
Sesshomaru scoffed, "They have tried before and failed. This one will be the one to take her. It is inappropriate for you to take this one's betrothed."
Miroku's eyes widened in surprised and then he shook his head and chuckled, "My, my, you are full of wonder Sesshomaru-sama. You know about Benzaiten, but Rin does not. She may really pout at that."
"This one knows her temperament well." Sesshomaru said as he turned away from the monk and leapt up into the air, intent to stand near the little house that Rin lived in with the mikos, his brother, and the bat hanyou.
Rin stared in shock as Sesshomaru stood outside the door as she exited in the early morning, ready to leave for Miroku's. Inuyasha bumped into her back as he obviously smelled Sesshomaru.
"Oi, Rin!" Inuyasha shook her shoulder. "Move."
"Inuyasha, don't be so bossy first thing in the morning." Kagome hissed at him.
"Inuyasha-sama is irritable this morning, ne, Kaede-obaasan?" Shiori asked softly.
"Hai, he is." Kaede chuckled.
Inuyasha lifted Rin up, hands on her waist. Rin saw Sesshomaru's eyes narrow at her being touched by another male. Even if her and Inuyasha had a sibling-like relationship. "Rin, why are you just staring at him like that?" Inuyasha huffed at her.
"I-I…" The words left her again.
Sesshomaru took a few steps toward her. "This Sesshomaru has come to accompany you to the Shinto, let the monk be with his family."
Inuyasha snorted, "As if! You just don't want Rin to go there without you! Don't act like you're doing Miroku a favour."
"Inuyasha…" Kagome pinched his ear. "Don't make me say the word."
Inuyasha glanced at his wife. "Hai."
Kagome nodded and Shiori hid a smirk behind her hand. "Come on Shiori, you, me and Kaede are going to Jinenji's garden this morning." Kagome said with a nod.
Rin felt completely abandoned as Inuyasha patted her shoulder, "I'm going go spar with Kohaku."
She reached out for his red sleeve, but he was gone already.
"Come, A-Un is nearby." Sesshomaru said before turning and walking away from her.
She resigned herself to following after him to the valley to see A-Un. A-Un was content as she approached them and patted their heads.
"If we leave now, we will arrive by midday to the Shinto." Sesshomaru said as he placed a hand on her back between her shoulder blades. Rin nodded and left A-Un's heads and patted their neck and side as she quickly moved to mount the saddle.
Instead of grabbing the reigns to lead A-Un, Sesshomaru surprised Rin by leaping up behind her. He leaned over her and grabbed the reins and held them before her. "Do you wish to lead?" He asked her.
She snatched the reins, feeling hot in the face all over again. "A-Un, let's fly!" She told them and they lifted off into the air quickly. She felt Sesshomaru's hand on her right hip. She understood the silent command and pulled the reins tightly and pulled them to the right. A-Un obeyed.
It was a quiet trip, Rin feeling awkward for going to a Shinto to pray to be more eloquent and witty with her words with her betrothed with her.
When they landed in a glade in the woods. Sesshomaru hopped off and then grabbed her by the hips and lifted her down. She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "The Shinto was what we saw just ahead, right?"
"Hai, up the stairs of the mountain." Sesshomaru let her go and led the way out of the woods. There was not much else to say between them in the moment.
Rin was grateful that she wore her sandals that day as there was plenty of broken twigs and nettles on the ground. It thankfully wasn't a long trip out of the woods, and they exited onto a path before the steps of the Shinto.
Rin walked up the old stone stairs with Sesshomaru at her side. She kept her gaze locked on the crooked and ancient carved rock. She did not wish to embarrass herself and trip up on the steps.
Not that Sesshomaru would laugh at her, but the monks would certainly get a laugh out of it. She silently sent out a prayer to whatever deity there was watching over her and Sesshomaru that monks did not consider their union unholy or try to kill Sesshomaru.
Rin lifted her head as they reached the top step. There in the courtyard were couples milling about. Rin's face flushed not from exertion of the stairs, those were easy, but from confusion and quick realization.
"Benzaiten…is she a goddess of love?" Rin asked quietly.
"Hai, she is. Do you still wish to seek her guidance?" Sesshomaru asked her gently. She nodded affirmatively and glanced up at the two statues at the gate.
"Raijin and Fujin are depicted to be quite fearsome, aren't they?" Rin asked with a smile at Sesshomaru, "Could you win, Sesshomaru?" She asked teasingly.
"Such blasphemy from your mouth." Sesshomaru glanced at her quickly and away. His tone was not biting, she heard his playful rumble in his baritone. Rin smiled to herself, pleased to have caused a reaction from her stoic beloved.
She heard the whispers already begin as they walked toward the temple. Those whispers must've been loud to Sesshomaru's sensitive hearing. His hand on her back, guiding her, assuring her that she was to continue.
The monks shook their head as the daiyoukai walked on their sacred grounds.
They passed another two statues of deities, Agyo and Ungyo, depicted to also be fierce and terrifying. Rin thought she rather worship the man beside her as a god. After all he brought her back from death.
They finally entered the temple and Sesshomaru's hand left her back, letting her take quick steps to the statuette. She knelt down and bowed her body and head. "Onegai, Kami Benzaiten, give me guidance and aid to speak eloquently to my betrothed, to learn and use more words and speak them without guessing their meaning. I wish to debate philosophy, religion, court, anything really with my Sesshomaru. I wish to be his equal." She pleaded internally. "I want my words to flow from my mouth as easily as the rivers flow, every word to have a purpose and meaning. I want to sound educated and not like a poor simple girl."
Rin thought of her inadequacies, how she was just a poor orphan girl that got lucky to have come across Sesshomaru. How she would never compare to a demoness. She would always have that fear that she was not good enough. She lifted her head and felt her cheeks dampen.
The sight of the goddess, carved in stone, was more beautiful than her, more worthy of Sesshomaru than Rin herself. She wondered if the goddess was merely locked within the stone waiting to be broken free.
"Rin?" She turned to see Sesshomaru staring at her, amber eyes filled with concern deep beneath the surface of indifferent and aloof daiyoukai.
"I am unworthy of your affections. This stone goddess is more worthy than me." She whispered as she stood up.
Sesshomaru took several steps to her and stood before her, just a breath apart. "Rin, you have an eloquence that is all your own. You need only to realize that you have already ensnared me with your words that are simple and true, never a lie, promises that others would call nonsense. All of your words resonate deep within me."
Rin can't help but to bow her head in shame, she should have accepted that if he enjoyed her words than she had nothing to worry about. "Hai," She lifted her head and saw him holding out a pink ema that was blank. She looked at him with a frown.
"Come, let us sneak our ema onto the wall." Sesshomaru told her.
Rin smiled wickedly. This was her talent, her skill. She nodded and took off quickly and silently through the temple to find some ink and a brush. She found a set of one of the monks outside on the porch. She snatched it, just to borrow it, not to steal it (she had long given that up). She turned and saw Sesshomaru waiting for in a darkened corner. Monks were staring at him.
Sesshomaru placed the ema against the wall and Rin smiled at him, dipping the brush into the ink and writing her name in its simple Hiragana. Sesshomaru took the brush as she held up the ema next, he wrote the Kanji of his name.
"I'm going to leave this before the goddess." Rin smiled and took off, jumping up easily onto the porch and dashing back inside. She stood before the goddess once more and set the items down. "Arigato Kami Benzaiten, I have learned that my simple words still flow and make my betrothed, my beloved, happy."
When she existed the temple, she saw Sesshomaru brazenly walking up to the wall and posted their pink ema. The monks all gasped at the simple act which spoke volumes of Rin's relationship with Sesshomaru. She ran down the steps and heard Sesshomaru stare down the head monk.
"It may not be removed. Your goddess will be enraged if you should dare to destroy it. It is in her care now." Sesshomaru stated drily.
Rin wanted to laugh as he walked up to her, grabbing her around the waist, lifting off into the air.
She can't help but smile affectionately up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck as they leave the scenic Shinto up in the mountains.
She was content once more and looks over Sesshomaru's shoulder to see A-Un flying up into air and catching up with him as they fly back to the village.
"Sesshomaru, I am glad we came to the Shinto." Rin murmured against his neck.
He hummed softly in response, "Rin, are you appeased now?"
"Hai, I am aware of how my words affect you." She smiled up at him. He pulled her up closer to his face. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "If you take me back to the village, I'll feed you some fruit."
Sesshomaru stared at her with amber eyes darkening, "Hmm, this one would enjoy that."
She rested her head against his shoulder, Mokomoko shielding her from the wind. The pink ema on the wall was proof of her worthiness to be his wife. She sang her song from her childhood and Sesshomaru ran a clawed hand through her hair, assuring her that he was there with her.