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Some people said Gavin was too old for an imaginary friend. But at 36 years of age, it was the only thing that Gavin still found comforting.
It wasn’t like Gavin was crazy or anything (not that there was anything wrong with being crazy; Gavin knew that for a fact, as his therapist and his friends had assured him over and over). He was just… lonely. After the incident, where he had been mostly bed bound, his friends, while making visits at first, had trickled to a halt. After a few weeks of the physical therapist as Gavin’s only company, he may have started to crack, just a little. But in his defense, it started out as a game.
He had needed motivation. Someone to talk to who could be there 24/7. The therapist had suggested a diary. Gavin had tried it like that for the first few times, but the words never came out right. And it hurt to flip back through his progress of “I got out of bed today” and “I took three steps on my own”. It had been talking that had helped.
Just simple things, like “Look at me!” And “Holy shit, that hurt but it was worth it.” Whenever he extended himself maybe a bit too much, or did the exercises that hurt like a bitch but we’re supposed to build up his strength in time. He had started out talking to no one, or really just to himself, but as time stretched on and he grew more and more lonely, he started imagining he was talking to Him.
He was Gavin’s old imaginary friend, from when he was little more than a child. He had been Gavin’s playmate, when none of the kids had wanted anything to do with Gavin at recess. He was tall, and thin, and almost all black, except for a wide, white face where a dark red smile looked like it had been scribbled on with a crayon. Gavin had made him up to intimidate his bullies, and later his parents.
But now, it was so easy to imagine him lurking in the corner of his eye, watching him silently. Others might have found the image creepy, but not Gavin. He was used to Him, had created him, and it was a good thing for his anxiety when he got to turn something terrifying into something calming. It was how he had gotten through so many years of police work, after all. And Gavin did appreciate company that listened instead of talked.
The words came easier when he was talking to an old friend. He would cheer Gavin on silently, and Gavin began sharing more and more about his progress with him. Tina and Chris could hardly muster more than a few words of congratulations when he shared with them the steps he had taken before they wanted to change the subject. They had even stopped coming by, after awhile. Chris complaining of a smell that always lingered, like rotting meat, and Tina complaint about a draft. Tina would still call him, of course, and Chris tried his best to help with groceries when he could, but it wasn’t the same.
But He would listen for hours. It started with little things, like Gavin’s steps or how now he could use a walker most days since he was out of the chair. Or that he was proud of getting out of bed, especially since he really hadn’t wanted to. And that he was really glad about his cat, Mitzi, because she was probably the only living thing that could stand him for hours at a time. And crescendoed into something bigger. How lonely Gavin was, how much he missed his friends, and how tired he was.
It was probably then that his imaginary friend started to get a little out of hand. Just talking was nice, even if He only made himself know from the corner of his eye. But after Gavin’s first real breakdown, He had stepped into the light.
Gavin had remembered thinking that he had looked just a little different than from what Gavin recalled from his childhood. A little taller, a little tougher around the edges. The black just a tad darker. And He had different eyes. Up close, they looked almost Human.
But that couldn’t be right; Gavin must have been remembering wrong. He was a child, and a child would have only scribbled black dots for eyes. It must have been how He always looked, Gavin decided.
He had been the one to pick up the pieces. To hug Gavin. To sit with him silently, to curl one clawed hand around Gavin and wrap his tail around his other side, the human hand attached to the back of it patting Gavin’s shoulder.
It had taken hours, but Gavin had finally pulled himself back up. And he hadn’t needed anyone’s help. At least, no one but Him.
Things continued like that for awhile. He kept Gavin company while Gavin made breakfast and did his exercises and watched TV. And while Gavin grew more and more starved for attention, He grew bolder.
Gavin remembered the first night where he couldn’t sleep. He had been staring at the wall, with no TV and no book and no phone to distract him, when he became aware of something behind him. He jerked his head over, and he would have been surprised and maybe even terrified if he hadn’t know that He wasn’t real. Instead, Gavin grinned at Him, who had curled up most of His length in bed besides Gavin.
“Hello there, handsome.” Gavin snickered.
He said nothing, of course. But that didn’t matter. Because that night was the best, and the safest, that Gavin had ever felt.
The only downside was that Mitzi hardly wanted to curl up in bed with him anymore. She must not have liked the new way he slept, he concluded sadly. But there was nothing he could do.
His new sleeping routine had set him on a path of if not recovery, then remission, and only a few weeks later found Gavin back at the office.
His physical therapist had even asked him, with just a hint of marvel in his tone, if there was something or someone helping him along.
Gavin had replied with a grin that he had a man in his life now, actually. The therapist had quickly dropped the subject.
Unfortunately, going back to work came with it’s own problems. Gavin had no need for Him there, but Fowler saw Gavin’s newfound disability, as Gavin still relied on a cane for most of his walking, a reason to give him a partner. A no good android partner.
The android called himself Nines. It was probably short for the fact that he was Nine feet tall, basically. Gavin expected the worst. He gripped his cane tightly to himself like a security blanket as Nines looked him up and down, as if scanning. No doubt trying to figure out all the ways Gavin was a freak.
Nines watched silently as Gavin walked to his desk. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Nines perched on the chair besides him.
“What?” Gavin huffed, tapping his pen against the desk as he waited for the screen to boot up.
“I said nothing, Detective Reed.” Nines was still staring at him.
“Whatever.”
The next few days passed in tensed silence. Gavin imagines that He watched Gavin reproachfully the day Gavin after returned, much like how Mitzi acted when Gavin left unexpectedly. It was a great excuse for Gavin to rant about Nines, and how much he hated his no good, nosy android partner. He was a great listener. Gavin at least found comfort in that.
——
“I’m an adult, you know. I can get my own fucking coffee.” Gavin glared up at the offending android in question.
To his surprise, Nines didn’t smirk, and he didn’t do the simper that Gavin had seen some people, usually women, give him when they saw the cane. He blushed. A bright, almost electric blue blush, that both disturbed Gavin in its inhumanity and somehow suited Nines’ face just enough to make Gavin’s stomach feel uncomfortable. “I just… assumed you would appreciate me fixing you a cup, considering you seem to have trouble getting to the machine.”
“Oh.” Maybe that was actually ok. Not that he had to let Nines know it. He grabbed the coffee from him, trying to hide the way he smacked his lips at the taste. “Not bad. For a tin can.”
Nines rolled his eyes. It was better for Gavin to handle than the blush, even if the loss of the weird doe-eyed look made him sad.
The coffee incident, as Gavin liked to call it, was a bit of a turning point in their relationship. Gavin tried to be nicer to Nines, and Nines learned the difference between helping Gavin and just smothering him. And Gavin couldn’t say no to the cup of coffee that sat on his desk each morning.
He could almost get used to this. Nines wasn’t as silent as He was, but the android could almost sense when Gavin was and wasn’t in the mood to talk. Gavin appreciated the space. But he appreciated the companionship more. Sure, Tina and Chris still talked to him, but it was tempered by the fact that he was Different now. He wasn’t quite the same Gavin they had first made friends with. But Nines didn’t care. He only knew him now. And he actually enjoyed his company, which was refreshing. That was more than what Gavin could say for most of the people that met him.
Gavin needed to vent to Him less and less. He was still a facet of Gavin’s house, wandering after Gavin as he did chores, and holding him at night, but if Gavin spoke about Nines to him, it was to ruminate on how well he treated him. He didn’t seem to like that, but Gavin paid Him no mind. It wasn’t like he was real.
Gavin’s biggest problem, as he and Nines grew closer, was his sleep. He woke up as rested as he could be, all things considered, but he must have gotten far more restless during the night. Mitzi hardly ever visited him in the bedroom, too scared of the way his limbs thrashed. The next problem was his cane. He left it leaning against the side of his bed, so if he woke in the middle of the night and was in too much pain to him all unassisted, he’d be able to make it to the bathroom.
At first, it had been knocked over, and just a bit of a hassle for him to reach, but Gavin huffed through the ordeal. The next few times, his cane must have been kicked in his sleep, as it had skittered all the way across the bedroom.
Gavin had struggled into work late those days, too haggard to say much of anything to anyone. Nines was the only one that showed any concern.
The worst was when he must have misplaced his cane. It had been nowhere to be found in the bedroom or in his closet, or even under his bed, and Gavin had burned far too many spoons looking for it to go into work, or do anything.
He had spent the majority of that day in bed, curled under blankets with only a worried text from Nines to keep him company. Well, that and Him.
He had watched over Gavin all day, eyes boring into him. His human hand even pantomimed petting Gavin’s hair. Gavin had to admit that the attention was nice, even if it was conjured.
After another day of bed rest, and his cane somehow appearing outside of his bedroom door in perhaps the worst missed placement of Gavin’s life, Gavin returned to work, and to Nines.
“I was worried about you, Detective.”
“Just call me Gavin. And I was fine.” Gavin slumped heavily into his seat.
“Did you have a flare up?” Nines folded his hands as he looked him over.
“Are you scanning me?”
“I’m worried. Is that a crime?”
Gavin’s face felt hot. “Guess not.”
Nines smiled. “If it was, I would be a career criminal. You would have to turn me in.”
Gavin stuck his tongue out. “Don’t be gross.” It felt nice to be missed. Tina and Chris hadn’t thought to check on him.
“Maybe even discipline me. Coerce me into obeying.”
Gavin spluttered over his coffee. “Like what?” Had he heard him right?
Nines’ face had morphed to a grin. “I suppose spanking is always the best method. But I wouldn’t be opposed to anything you had to offer. Like maybe caning?”
“I think they’re the same thing. At least caning is included in spanking. And besides, it’s not worth the effort. I’d need a whole extra cane, and I’d use up all the energy I’d like to do doing other stuff.”
“Like what?” Nines eyes glittered. Gavin realized, for perhaps the thousand time, that he was very easy on the eyes. “Like hanging out with me?”
“Hanging out?”
Nines blushed blue. “Well, outside of work.”
“Like a date? Or as friends?”
The blush deepened. “I wouldn’t be opposed to what you humans call a date.”
Gavin’s nose wrinkled. Being snarky was the best way he could stop himself from being sincere. “I suppose I’ll have to go on an android date with you later, in exchange? We can get our oil changed together.”
“I find that deeply offensive. Oil changing is a third date only activity.” Nines deadpanned. Or maybe it was just his usual face. “And… you wouldn’t have to do anything you didn’t want to.”
“It sounds… great. It sounds great. I mean, I don’t really do this shit often but… where would you want to take me?”
“How about dinner? I would pay, since I asked you out.”
“I’ll make sure to order one of everything on the menu. Would you like to leave straight from work?”
Nines looked like he had seen the sun shine for the first time in ten years. “I would love to.”
————
They continued on like that for awhile. Gavin going out with Nines straight after work, taking care that he didn’t see the mess that was his place. Gavin could have gotten drunk off of the way Nines looked at him.
But Gavin’s sleeping problems only grew worse. Mitzi hardly wanted anything to do with him, choosing to hide under the sofa or hole up in the bookshelves. Even treats didn’t get her to venture out most times.
And no matter where Gavin left his cane, he couldn’t seem to stop knocking it down, or misplacing it entirely. It was starting to fuck with his health. Even his old friends noticed.
He was almost afraid to sleep in his own bed, even with Him as company.
So it was a godsend when Nines mentioned, in passing, sleeping over.
“I mean, I don’t think we’d be doing much sleeping, right?” Gavin replied.
Nines nodded in mock seriousness. “I suppose not. Would you rather me table the venture, or-“
“No, no, it’s fine. Would you want to do it… tonight? I mean, my house is a bit of a mess, but… I think it would be nice. As long as you can deal with that.”
Nines smiled softly, laying his hand over Gavin’s. “I’d deal with just about anything for you.”
Nines met him at 8:30, after Gavin had had dinner. Gavin had struggled into his best clothes, his one nice button-up with flowers on it and the cleanest pair of pants that he owned, even muttering to Him about how Nines would be coming.
“You look ravishing.” Nines said.
“Thanks. You look, like, double ravishing.”
Nines grinned at the compliment. “I don’t know how I can top that.”
“Just don’t mention the mess and we’re good.” Gavin pulled him into the room. They didn’t spend much time with small talk, tension buzzing too hard between them. Gavin led him up to his room almost immediately.
As their lips met, Gavin had never been more glad that he had awkwardly mumbled out, just a few days after meeting Nines, that he was trans. There was no fear of rejection, no fear of pain. Only the soft way he and Nines molded together, of how soft his breath fanned against Gavin’s. How sure his hands felt as they slipped down Gavin’s pants to fondle his cunt.
“Is this alright?” Nines breathed against Gavin.
“More than alright.” Gavin rubbed himself against the hand. “You can take my shirt and binder off too…”
“Alright.” Nines purred. His hands were already working at the buttons.
In just moments, both of them lay naked and panting and tangled together. One of Nines’ hands rested on and massages Gavin’s cunt, while the other squeezed one of his tits. He seemed content just to explore.
“Do you want to put your dick in me?” Gavin asked as Nines teased the sensitive skin of his nipple. Gavin’s breath caught on the last word.
“Do you want me to?”
“Will you please do it?” Gavin didn’t have to beg long. He was just wet enough that it burned in a good way, and Nines was slow and careful enough that he was never in pain. Just a slow, aching pleasure that built and built with each thrust, until Gavin came screaming into Nines’ shoulder.
They lay together for a moment, kissing and nuzzling, until Nine shifted so he held Gavin from behind, one hand firmly wrapped around his tits. The other strayed back to stroke his cunt, playing with the thick pubic hair there. It wasn’t arousing so much as intimate, and Gavin grew redder at each moment of touch. It reminded him, briefly, of the way He had held Gavin. But this was so much more fulfilling, and so much more real.
Gavin woke to the scent of breakfast wafting up from the kitchen. His cane had been neatly tucked under his arm. Gavin had to giggle at the gesture.
“I apologize for touching your cane.” Nines said as soon as Gavin stepped into the room. “But it had somehow gotten kicked into the closet overnight, and I didn’t want you to be without it.”
“It’s fine. I mean, in that instance. Watcha making?”
“Something to go.”
“To go where? Are you… are you leaving?” Gavin’s stomach dropped.
“No, Gavin. It’s for you. I think… would you like to take a drive with me?”
“I guess.” The sick feeling in his stomach still remained.
Nines wrapped up what he had been making, pressing it into Gavin’s hands before helping Gavin put on the shoes Gavin just now noticed he had stored under the table.
Nines kept a hand on him as they left the house. Gavin normally would have scolded him into dropping it, but Nines looked so cagey, with the way his eyes raked back over the house, that he relented.
Nines didn’t stop twitching until they reached his car, Gavin climbing in the passenger side. Nines even helped Gavin buckle before driving away.
As Gavin looked back at the door, Nines glancing back at it too, Gavin watched in confusion as He opened the door and stood in the yard, watching as Gavin and Nines disappeared into the distance. It was kind of strange, since He didn’t show up around other people, and He had always stayed strictly in the house.
“What was the rush, anyway, Nines?” Gavin asked. Nines looked a little less cagey. “You kidnapping me or something?”
Nines’ fingers tensed agianst the steering wheel. “No. Just… have you ever seen something… tall and dark… in your house?”
Gavin cocked his head. “I mean, I have drawings of him everywhere, if that’s what you mean. But he’s just my imaginary friend, I swear. It’s like a coping mechanism. I’m not weird.”
Nines was silent for a long moment. “Gavin. I didn’t see it in a drawing. It was in your house. Watching us. It followed us outside. Gavin, how long has this thing been in your house?”
In that moment, Gavin knew he would never be comforted again.