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“Your fridge is a mess,” Regina groans the second Robin wanders into the kitchen, his eyes still open in narrow slits, wandering to the coffee more by memory by sight.
“Our fridge is a mess,” Robin reminds. She’s moved in, albeit not completely, but his place is hers too, now, and that means she gets to share in the blame for his disaster of a fridge. “But don’t worry, I’m getting around to cleaning it out,” he says, yawning and pouring himself a cup of the coffee she’s made.
“That’s decaf,” she points out.
She doesn’t miss his scowl but doesn’t stop pouring.
“It’s just the flavor that wakes me up at this point,” he says as if saying it makes it true.
And then he opens the fridge and his jaw drops.
“I got rid of everything expired and all takeout containers I didn’t remember you eating recently,” she says with a shrugs. “Now I just have to clean it, and—“
“You shouldn’t be doing this. I mean… how did you do this? Your sense of smell is so delicate right now. This must have almost killed you.”
“That’s not as bad as it was the first trimester,” she tells him. “But…” she grabs at a sponge and tosses it at him. “feel free to clean the fridge for me while I go grocery shopping.”
He feels a punch of affection for her he has no right to feel, he should be annoying instead of finding this absolutely adorable, but then that’s what his life is at the moment. Finding new things that should be irritating about her that he just absolutely loves.
“Gimme a second and we will both go,” he says. “There are things I want, too.”
She nods and walks out of the kitchen. “I’ll be in the shower.”
.::.
While Regina is in the shower, Robin manages to clean the fridge. He opens the pantry to see what he needs and discovers that it has also been cleaned out - most open containers of cereal or crackers must have been deemed stale and tossed out. Two giant trash bags need to be taken out, and all he can do it laugh (should he be offended? Most of the stuff should have been tossed, if he’s honest). She’s moving in and she wants this place to be home. He likes how well she’s adjusting to the thought, how she’s taking over an area where he lacks. It will be nice to have someone to remind him how to properly stock for the essentials.
“I’ve never been grocery shopping with you — ever,” he says, trying to think back. “we’ve stopped in to get items but it hasn’t been a group activity.”
“I generally shop alone,” Regina warns. “I’m told I can be annoying.”
When they get inside the store he understands why. She’s not annoying, not really, she’s just… regimented. Her list is organized by aisle — or rather what aisle everything should be in. When Robin walks towards the left — the frozen and refrigerated foods section of the store, she grabs him by the collar. “foods that need to be frozen or refrigerated are picked up last,” she tells him with a sigh.
“Are we planning on being here so long that ice cream would melt?” he asks, a bit worried.
“You never know,” Regina shrugs.
First stop is the produce aisle, and it’s there Robin finds that Regina is even more picky and discerning than he had suspected. She inspects Honeycrisp, pink ladies, gala, and Braeburn before settling on the Braeburn.
“I like tart apples, well, tart but not granny smith tart,” she explains. “But I hate when the apples are under or overripe. These look better than the pink ladies.”
“They all looked good to me,” he shrugs and Regina scoffs.
She goes for the bananas next.
Robin has always just grabbed a bunch and thrown it into his cart, but Regina seems intent on making her own bouquet of bananas until she has 8 different shades of green and yellow ones in her cart.
“Can I ask why you did that as opposed to just grabbing a bunch of 8?” he asks, giving in to his curiosity.
“Because you don’t eat them all on the same day, so why should pick bananas that are all the same level of ripeness?” She asks
“I eat them before they get brown,” he answers.
“Undoubtedly they are underripe the first day and over the last,” Regina tells him, and Robin may agree but he’s not going to say it.
Robin has to get potatoes, and Regina sighs and tries not to judge as he picks them out. Finally, he gives up and tells her to do it, which she does gladly.
He’s pleased to see her just grab a giant bag of oranges. “I am eating two of these a day,” she says with a roll of her eyes.
Picking out blueberries, raspberries and blackberries is a process Robin could live without.
She gets arugula, onions, and avocado, none of which is an easy pickup. Robin puts some green peppers and jalapeños in there, she has the good sense not to ask him what he’s fixing to make. She loads up a few spices — dill, basil, cilantro, rosemary, then baby carrots, broccoli, and celery.
He feels they’ve been shopping for a year. “Dairy next?”
“No, dairy must be refrigerated so we wait on that. Now, what crap,” she motions to the center of the store, “do you have on your list down those middle aisles?”
“I don’t have a list. I just kind of wander and see what strikes me,” Robin explains with a smile. Come on, we’ll do those aisles my way.”
He hits the cereal aisle first. The steel-cut oats he knows Regina loves go in the grocery cart easily, but when he gets to the cereal part of the aisle and begins to peruse he hears her sigh of annoyance.
“What?” he asks playfully.
“They are all the same thing. What do you want? Sugary flakes, sugary rice, sugary puffed corn, or sugary oats?”
He laughs. “Some are chocolate flavored, some have peanut butter or fruit, some have marshmallows in them… it’s a very difficult decision.”
She gravitates toward the Honey Bunches of Oats with almonds. “These aren’t so bad,” she shrugs.
“They are too healthy,” he scoffs.
“They are full of sugar, they are practically frosted flakes.”
“Have frosted flakes for once in your life and then tell me they are the same,” he calls her bluff.
She can’t say anything in response and just rolls her eyes. “You are going to be one of those fathers who gives a child their daily dose of sugar first thing in the morning, aren’t you?” She laughs.
“Every child deserves a Saturday morning of sugar and cartoons,” he tells her.
He knows Regina never had those mornings, not with her witch of a mother, but he’s determined to make sure their son or daughter has it.
He gets the Honey Bunches of Oats because Regina likes them. He gets himself some Cinnamon Toast Crunch - the low sugar, whole grain kind, at least, for her sake.
She goes very slowly through the breakfast bar section.
Oh, it seems she has a weakness.
“Which is your favorite?”
“They are terrible for you. Pretend to be healthy but it’s just empty carbs and sugar,” she sniffs.
“You need both. You’re pregnant.”
“I shouldn’t be eating any of this. I should be living on fruits and nuts and eggs and chicken,” she counters.
“Okay, but which ones are you getting?” he asks.
“None,” she declares, walking away from the aisle quickly.
He makes a note to find the ones she likes later and fill the pantry with them.
He picks up peanut butter, jelly, brownie mix, tortilla chips, soda, (she gets some flavored seltzer for herself, and some sourdough pretzels which makes him proud - it hardly counts as junk food but it’s something). Then there are the condiments and spices - she brought most of her stuff over but gets a few things, and then canned foods and prepared foods, she gets some tuna, crushed canned tomatoes, beans, tomato paste, some carton of soup and chicken broth. She gets a loaf of sourdough baguette and some odd flatbread he’s seen her make wrap sandwiches with. He goes for the white sliced bread, laughing at her little scowl. The frozen food aisle is next, but there’s also the dairy and meat along the back wall that they’ve ignored.
Dairy and meat, then frozen foods,” Regina explains. “You don’t want them to be sitting around getting warm in your cart.”
“Yes, when your grocery store process is two hours long this is incredibly important,” Robin teases.
“Don’t make fun of me, I’m teaching you a survival skill!’ Regina insists. “What happens if we’re snowed in or there’s a hurricane or something? You need enough healthy food to survive. Especially if we are to have a child.”
“Okay, teach me,” Robin declares. “What do I get?”
“Eggs should always be in the fridge,” she declares. “I don’t drink milk, but you do, and —”
“I get two percent because skim milk isn’t milk at all, it’s just milky water,” he explains.
She doesn’t even try to argue.
She starts stacking greek yogurt. “This isn’t important. Yogurt lasts a few weeks, and I’m craving it.”
She gets brie, feta cheese, and hummus which for some reason is amongst the dairy. He gets himself a wedge of sharp cheddar and some American slices that again earn him a wrinkle of her nose.
The meat and fish part is a nightmare, individually frozen chicken and fish, chicken breast, chicken thighs, salmon, pork tenderloin, god this is so obnoxious, god she’s so cute. He gets some minced meat and picks up some buns, he will make them burgers sometime this week.
By the time they get to the frozen food aisle he’s in charge, he grabs frozen fries, tater tots, then pizza, pizza rolls, and bagel bites before she stops him and reminds him he already has several different types of premade pizza. “Fine, I’ll go for the frozen taquitos instead of the bagel bites,” he quips.
She rolls her eyes, but he knows she will try some. He gets a few pints of ice cream that she scoffs at, but she breaks for the Häagen-Dazs plain vanilla.
Very Regina.
“I feel very grown-up,” he tells her as they finish stocking the pantry, the spice drawer, and the fridge. He takes her in her arms (she’s not very visibly pregnant but when he holds her, he can feel the tiny bump against his torso, a little reminder that they’ve made something precious together that they have a great responsibility in raising together). “I needed it. I suppose soon we will have a child who will need a bit more than chips and soda to live on. Best to get in the habit now.”
“We do have some time before then,” Regina smiles, rubbing his cheek. She presses a kiss to his nose, unexpected and sweet, makes him blush in a way that he worries gives away exactly how he feels about her. He doesn’t want it too obvious. She will run away if he’s too obvious. He moves out of the embrace and puts the last of the chicken away.
“We’re going to have to go baby shopping soon, by the way.”
“Wait on that. Make a registry. Mary Margaret is throwing you a surprise shower.” Robing tells her plainly, and then adds a fake, sarcastic, “Oops, I can’t believe I told you, now the secret is ruined.”
“I don’t like surprises lately,” Regina murmurs.
“Mm, I might have said something about that, but I might have been overruled,” Robin smiles. ‘But let’s pick out what furniture and things we want, I’m going to paint that third bedroom whatever color you want, and we can start planning. Unless you want to wait until after we know the gender.”
Regina frowns. “I think it might be nice to make the paint and curtains and everything…. More neutral. We can fill the room with flowers or race cars later on.”
His heart swells thinking about decorating the room later. She hasn’t said how long she’s thinking of living here — hasn’t decided whether it’s going to be just until the baby arrives, until she can find something else, or….. Until something. The only thing he’s been promised is that it’s temporary and that she will be moving out. They are technically just housemates, she has a separate bedroom and bed that he hopes she doesn’t plan on spending time in but she has it just the same.
“Do you want your room painted?” Robin asks.
She bites her lip, thinking. “I might,” she said. “Maybe later. For now, it can stay. I not really…” she trails off and smiles at him. “I’m not using it much right now.”
Robin can’t keep the shit-eating grin off his face. “As I like it,” he assures her. “Stay in my bed all the time. You can move in and we can make the other room a guest room for now?”
Too far, too far. He sees her expression go nervous.
Shit.
“That might… umm.. complicate things.”
“Why?” he asks innocently.
“Well, what about when you want to date someone?” Regina asks, “or if I find someone? Going to the trouble of converting everything… it’s not a good idea.”
Robin sighs and weaves his hand through her hair. “Do you want to date anyone?”
“Not now,” she huffs. “But I might, sometime later. And you might, too.”
“Not anytime soon. I know I promised you I wouldn’t date anyone for a while, but this isn’t even about a promise. I’m not interested in it for now.”
“You won’t last that long,” Regina teases, “How long have you gone without sex in the last, oh five years?”
“Hey, that’s personal,” he tells her in mock offense. “Besides,” he holds his hand out and twines his fingers in hers, pulls her close, “I’m not really going without sex, am I?”
She snorts and shakes her head. “When my hormones level out you might be singing a different tune.”
“I’ll find a way to seduce you even then,” he tells her confidentially.
She rolls her eyes and sighs. “You’re insufferable,” she smiles back at him.
He decides to go for it again, because why not? He’s a cowardly tempered appeal, but that’s all he can manage without scaring her away. “Regina, I’m serious. I don’t know the rules here, but if my life were just us as friends with benefits who raise a child and live together, I’d be pretty happy. I wouldn’t need anyone else in my life. What we have now? It’s pretty wonderful.”
“If we were friends with benefits who didn’t see other people, we’d just be a couple,” she reminds him as if that would be so horrible.
“Mm, Mary would be so happy,” he teases, trying to keep things light and casual because she’s clearly not ready for a relationship.
She laughs but then goes shy, all nerves as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “But you, um, you know why we can’t make this permanent, right? I mean not that you want to make it anything more than a friends with benefits type of thing, but, you get why I’m averse to it, right?”
Nope. Not at all. He doesn’t get it one bit. The whole thing is utterly absurd. She should be his girlfriend, she should be his fiancé for real. She is the mother of his child and his best friend and doesn’t that mean anything? Maybe she doesn’t love him that way but she sure enjoys his companionship and sure enjoys riding his cock so can’t they just give this thing a real try and see if he can turn whatever she’s feeling into something more? If she just gave him a shot he’d try so hard to get her to love him even half as much as he loves her.
“Yeah,” he tells her, “I get it.”
“Good. Because I don’t want to lose you as my best friend.”
“You won’t,” he insists. “Even if we did give it a try and had an ugly breakup, it wouldn’t make me… I mean I could never stop loving you as a friend.”
Regina smiles and shakes her head. “I want to believe that, but breakups hit me hard, as you know. So we should stay friends who don’t have all the stress of trying to fall in love and sacrificing and being monogamous. We can be unconventional friends, but friends nonetheless. And as your friend, I’m very glad I got the opportunity to introduce you to adult grocery shopping.”
He laughs and tells her that his system was just fine. It was not, though. They both know that. When he starts taking inventory and coming up with meal ideas for the week, she does get impressed.
“I’m rubbing off on you,” she tells him.
“Maybe you are. Or maybe I was always secretly responsible,” he teases.
It’s frustrating, loving her so deeply all alone like this. But luckily he has a few months to show her that he’s worthy of her, that he can give her a good life. They might have had an unconventional beginning, but he thinks they make a good couple and will make a great family just the same.
Before bed, he catches her filling a cereal bowl with peanut butter cap’n crunch, grimacing though she might be.
“I’m pregnant,” she tells him, “I’m craving all sorts of terrible things. This is not an endorsement of your grocery choices.”
But as she curls up next to him with her bowl of sugary carbs, making snarky remarks as they watch The Late Show and acting relaxed and more carefree than he remembers her in a long time, Robin decides that maybe he’s rubbing off a little on her, too, and that’s not a bad thing, either.