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Everyone around me always think I'm a dumb person. Not just them. Even I also think sometimes that am I really not able to speak? Do you ever think when someone have to pretend over 10 years, that's beyond an act and that become part of their life for real? Just like me! I'm not an original dumb person. That was a pretending act of me but now I don't think I can speak anymore and I'm not willing to speak again before I met him.
15 years ago, Kang Hyunggu was a 5 years old kid. Unfortunately, soon after he turned to 5 years old, he lost his parents during an accident. He was also there. But he managed to alive. It was a difficult time for such a little child. But to everyone’s surprise, even though that was a severe car accident, Kang Hyunggu wasn’t hurt anywhere. And everyone started to think he was strange.
Yes. He was indeed strange after that accident. He didn’t even cry when he knew he lost his parents. But he cried so hard after one month from that accident. It was around midnight. Kang Hyunggu was at an orphanage. Everyone could hear the barking of dogs at that night. But for Hyunggu, it was not only barking noise. But he heard some whisperings of unknown beings. He heard too many whispering around the midnight and he was so scared and cried out loud. He asked for help to the Principle of that orphanage. But the older didn’t believe him and thought he was gone insane because he was not over that accident scene. And send him to a psychiatric hospital.
He still doesn’t know why he deserved to be here. Actually, at that time, he was too young to be in such a place. But those people didn’t care and just send him here because they felt strange about him. Since then, he acted like he can’t speak anymore. He asked for help with his own mouth and no one believed him. So, such a young age kid could only think speaking is useless. And he hates to speak again. But the whisperings, yes, he can still hear till now every midnight.
Everyone may think for now, he will free from that place and live his own life somewhere. But actually not. The doctors can’t decide that whether he is normal or not since he is so silent, doing nothing, lives like a walking dead. And there is no one who want to take him back. So, he still locks in there.
But that silent Kang Hyunggu wants to change because of that one person. His name is Jung Wooseok. He is a newbie at that hospital. He finished his education by graduating from psychology major. But he is a nurse here. And normally, those seniors from works always want to give difficult time for their newbie. So, they gave him a duty to take care of Kang Hyunggu for 24 hours.
As soon as he received a duty, he went to Hyunggu and felt that he may not be an insane one and those doctors who keep him here are the real insane ones.
“Kang Hyunggu, right? “ Wooseok continued. “I heard you don’t speak to anyone but I don’t think you can’t speak or you are insane. Well, I am Jung Wooseok. I am a newbie here and got a duty to look after you”
Hyunggu just nodded at him as a sign of recoginition. And Wooseok smiled. And he said “Although they said to look after you, but I don’t think you need it. So, let’s be friends. Can I call you, Ggu?”
For the first time in 15 years, Hyunggu gave a faint smile to Wooseok.
A week passed. They really got close now. Wooseok is a talkative guy when he is with Hyunggu. He told him all about the outside world, about himself, about his daily life. And Hyunggu always listens to him with a smile. He didn’t reply yet since he thought himself as a dumb, but he carefully listens to what Wooseok said to him. And he has that feeling – one day, he can speak to Wooseok back. He really wants to do it for Wooseok.
And one day, Wooseok didn’t come to him. Hyunggu was too worried about something might happen to Wooseok and at the same time he is afraid that Wooseok left him because he can’t reply any words to him. One-week passed, and there is no trace of Wooseok.
Hyunggu feels so lonely without him. He cried every day. But still a silent cry. Hyunggu wants to shoutr out loud how he feels about Wooseok, how he falls in love with Wooseok, how much he loves him and about he can’t live without him. But it’s too late. There is no Wooseok anymore. There is no point of shouting out loud.
But on the exact date of one-week time, Hyunggu received a package. It was from Jung Wooseok. Hyunggu doesn’t know what to feel but he quickly unboxes it. To his surprise, there are more than 5 diary books. And he started reading to it. The first page of the first book was written 16 years ago before Hyunggu was in an accident.
“I saw a violet kid today. He was so adorable. He seemed to wait his parents for picking up. I went to him and had a speech for a while before my parents picked me up. And I got his name is Kang Hyunggu. Oh, he has such a cute name. 55555. I love his name and yes, I like him. I want to meet him again. “
“I saw him again today. Thanks to god he remembered me. We had a great time talking about our toys”
“I saw him again today. . . “
“I saw . . . “
“I saw. . . “
A year has passed in diary. And Hyunggu noticed that was the exact date of their accidents. And it happened on the way to his nursery school and he couldn’t go to his school anymore. And on the page of that date:
“I didn’t see him today. Maybe he is ill and can’t make it to school”
“I didn’t see him again today. I hope he’ll be fine”
“Today I heard a terrible news about him. It can’t be true right?”
“Finally, I found his orphanage. Thanks to my parents”
“I planned to go and donate there on my birthday and I also asked my parents to take him with me and adopt”
“Finally, today is my birthday. I’ll go there soon”
Hyunggu started to cry hard.
“Why?? Why are they doing to me this? Why isn’t he there anymore?”
Hyunggu feels so much pain. If he only resisted to his fear and didn’t asked for help, he would meet Wooseok very soon. But now it took 15 years.
He continued reading.
“My dad said if you listen to me, I will definitely find him for you when you are old enough”
“I listened to my dad for every words. I just hope he keep this promise”
“Today is my 18th birthday and my dad said there is a surprise for me”
“My dad really surprised me. Finally, I found you, wait for me, Kang Hyunggu”
Hyunggu can’t help but take a deep breath and take a break from reading. All these years, Wooseok always remember him. Always search for him. But he didn’t remember that person who still holding him. He feels so guilty.
“Finally, I am here. But I have to promise my dad one thing. If you don’t remember me by yourself, if you don’t speak to me, if you don’t feel the way I feel about you within three months, I have to let go of you”
The dairies end here. But Hyunggu found a letter in the box.
“Kang Hyunggu, my love.
I know you don’t feel the way I feel about you. I know you can’t remember me. And I know you will never speak to me. And I have to let go of you in the end. I just want to know you before I leave this country. Well, it’s hard for me to let go of you while I’m here. So, I choose to leave.
All these years, you are not the only one who chose to be silent. I also chose to be silent. I was silent about my feelings. Yes, it was a silent for your point of view. But the loudest one for my point of view. My heartbeats are such the loudest silent voice. How loudest I can hear my heartbeat for you, but you still can’t hear and it became a failure silence. Well, all I want you to know is that I love you with all my life. I will still love you till the end. It’s just I will not be on your sight anymore. Goodbye, my love.
Another silent man,
Jung Wooseok “
For the first time, Hyunggu cried out loud. This time is not a silent cry. He yelled in his little room.
“Please, Jung Wooseok! Please come back to me. I feel the way you feel about me. I love you. And I finally can remember you. It was all my fault Seokie. I should speak to you sooner. I can’t let go of you. I want to grow old with you”
Hyunggu is still shouting out his random thoughts and crying loudly not knowing there is a guy in front of his door who smiles brightly.
“Please come back to me! I need you Jung Wooseok! I love you”
“Really ??”
“Of course, hmm?? Jung Jung Wooseok, you are not leaving??”
“How can I leave when you are here. Let’s go I have a permission to take you out from here. Come with me. Let’s grow old together!”
“I love you, Seokie”
“I know and I love you too”
Wooseok picks Hyunggu’s face up and presses his lips against to Hyunggu’s.
Sometimes, everyone needs a reason to live, a reason to speak, a reason for so many others. A reason can make you silent. And also, a reason can make you talkative. All that matter is that reason should be strong enough to change your mind. And Wooseok is such a strong reason for Hyunggu not to be silent again ever.