Chapter Text
The wind near the edge of the cliff is a violent thing. As Dean peers down at the waters of Jocassee lake, he sees the jagged wall of the cliff that plummets sharply down. There are no sandy beaches below, just the quiet of the waters and the howling wind. Dean turns his gaze to the right.
He can see the green trees of the forest lining up along the edge of the cliff but further away the cliff isn't so steep and the distance to the lake is a mere five feet. He shakes his head. Why on earth did Dan Kippen decide to hang his... message here of all places? “I don't see anything, officer.”
“It's easy to miss. The forensics has already taken down the larger part of the banner but you see, down there, at that rock that pokes out?”
Dean narrows his eyes and thinks he sees a cloth flapping in the wind. He imagines seeing the red streaks of blood but knows it must be in his head. Dan's body is already cleared and chilling in a box until someone can look at it.
“So he tried to hang the banner in the middle of nowhere and plummeted to his death?”
Brief affront flashes on officer Graham's face before he speaks. “I assure you, Mr. Stark, this is not in the middle of nowhere. It might feel so for you big town folk – “
“He meant no offense officer.”
Graham glances at Sam. “Alright, Mr. Banner. As I was saying, he was apparently trying to hang a banner up, slipped, and fell to his death.”
Dean clicks his tongue. “And why would Mr. Kippen propose like that to Miss – “
“Miss Megalyn Julie,” Graham answers. “No idea sir, that's what we're trying to find out.”
Dean nods. “Can we see the evidence you gathered so far, and take a look at Mr. Kippen? Was he from around?”
“Yes. From Pickens, just an hour south. Where our office is located.” He pauses and licks his lips. “And I'll gladly let you take a peek at the evidence. With the other suspicious event happening in Pickens, folks are antsy you see. I really hope these cases are not connected.”
Sam interjects. “There's been another case like this?”
“Well, not like this, everyone is alive.” The officer shakes his head. “Just not right you see. Mr. and Mrs. Krushnic were on the brink of divorce – it was curse words flying, furniture being tossed out, the prized tomato plant being vandalized – “
“The prized tomato plant?”
“Yes, Mr. Banner. And now they're all... really happy.”
“Happy? That's suspicious? That they're happy?”
Graham looks down for a second. “It's difficult to explain. But I've been an officer for many years in this town. I know when something is off, sir. And something is off with the Krushnics. I was thinking maybe non-locals would be able to help. They might talk more easily with someone if they don't think we're poking around.”
Dean arches an eyebrow. “When you say off, you mean off as in ax murder off or off as in they wear knitted vests?”
“Maybe both?”
Dean hears Sam suppress a laugh and sighs.
“Good. We'll see you at the office and we can... uh, take a look at the Krushnics too. But Kippen is our main priority. Thank you, officer Graham.”
Graham nods and walks over to his colleagues.
Dean looks to his left at Cas who approaches them. “Anything, agent?”
Cas puts his hands in his pocket and narrows his eyes at Dean. It gives him a grumpy appearance and Dean would say he looks adorable but of course he doesn't say it. Those thoughts are his alone and he'd rather eat that soy crap Sam calls 'salami' for six months than admit it out loud. Maybe two months would be enough.
“Nothing remarkable on the scene, no.” Cas leans in closer to Dean and whispers in his direction. “Couldn't find anything that spoke of demonic interference or a curse. No sign of ghosts either.” He leans back and speaks up again. “Nothing remarkable at all.”
Sam steps in. “I say we drive to Pickens and see if the body of Mr. Kippen can tell us more.
The drive to Pickens is uneventful. Dean listens to Two minutes to midnight on the local radio station and drums his fingers on the steering wheel. They're not Zeppelin, but they're good.
Finally, Dean breaks the silence. There has been music playing, but they have all been quiet since they jumped into Baby – Sam reading a book and Cas being lost in his own thoughts. “Since no one is piping up, I'll do one for the team. I'm sorry Sammy, but this doesn't sound like our gig at all. So the guy climbed a cliff to attach some kind of 'I love you' message, slipped and tumbled down to his death? Feel bad for the romantic sap but this doesn't scream pissed off poltergeist or possession or anything even remotely supernatural.”
Sam puts down the book. “What about the other couple?”
Cas speaks up.“What other couple?”
Dean scoffs. “Nothing, Cas. Just the officer thinking that a couple – um, Krushnic I think – being on the brink of divorce and deciding to stay together is weird. What's weird is that I haven't seen a burger joint for miles. Man, I'm hungry.”
“I'm sure you'll be able to clog up your arteries soon, Dean,” Cas says dryly.
Sam laughs in the background. “He does like his burgers and meat.”
“Nothing to worry about, Cas. Been doing this for years. Hell, decades. You haven't seen me drop dead from a heart attack yet. I have veins of steel.”
Cas narrows his eyes and shakes his head slightly. “I'm sure that's the reason why. Your veins of steel.”
Dean shakes his head. “Nothing wrong with some protein. And you're damn straight I like my meat. You can call me the meat man.”
Sam smirks. “I don't think... that means what you think it means, Dean.”
Dean scoffs. “What?”
Sam just shakes his head and grabs a book.
Dean turns up the volume and steps on the gas.
Andrew is a tall, gangly man in what Dean thinks is his mid-thirties but the already receding hairline makes him look like he's forty or even fifty. Dean glances at his checkered short-sleeved shirt. Dean feels sorry for the guy. Sure, his hair is thinner than Trump's combined truths since he became president but that shirt wasn't found in the cool and hip department of the store either.
“This the guy?”
Andrew nods and points at the body already on the refrigerating table. “Yes. My primary report is done. You can take a look and put him back in the cooler when you're done. All his belongings are zipped and bagged.”
Sam smiles. “Thank you, Andrew. Before you go, we'd appreciate it if you could tell us anything. Something that stands out or if you found anything... odd while doing the autopsy?”
Andrew furrows his brows thinking, then shakes his head. “Odd? Nothing that I haven't seen before, Mr. Banner. Oh, maybe the arrow but we're working on that. It's in the evidence room.”
Cas turns to Andrew. “You found an arrow at the crime scene?”
Andrew nods. “Probably a toy of some kind a kid left behind. Looked old, like it had been there forever but it got bagged anyway. Gotta be thorough. You're welcome to take a look afterward if you want.”
Cas nods in gratitude. “Thank you.”
When Andrew leaves they can finally take a better look at Dan Kippen. He lays very dead on the cold table. He looks pale, not just for being a dead guy but he was probably one of those types that looked bleak and gloomy all year round. Just to be sure, Dean peels back his teeth. Nothing.
Not that he would think a vampire was prowling in the woods, lovesick, and wanting to marry someone. “Cas, do you detect anything weird, like, I don't know, the residue of a curse or something?”
"No.” Cas lets go of Dan's wrist. “Besides slightly elevated cholesterol and a third nipple, he seems perfectly fine. For being dead.”
Sam clasps Cas' shoulder in gratitude. “Thanks, Cas. We should go and check out the evidence room. Andrew did mention something about an arrow.”
Dean sighs. “Alright, but I still think this is a dud. We could be chasing burgers instead of bodies.”
On the third shelf, Dean finds the box tagged with Dan Kippen. He brings it out to Cas and Sam. “You found the case, I'll let you do the honors.”
Sam rolls his eyes. “Just open the box, Dean.”
“I was just trying to be nice.” Dean removes the lid and takes out several plastic bags, zipped up. They contain Dan's clothes, a watch, shoes, his wallet, and phone. At the bottom of the box, he hits jackpot.
“There she is.” Dean removes the arrow from the plastic bag. It does seem old, like it's been lying in the woods for ages but the tip seems oddly sharp. It has a nice heavy weight to it. Dean twirls it around but fails to catch it.
It lands with a big thunk on the floor.
“Dean...” Sam sounds exasperated. “Don't play with the evidence.”
“I wasn't playing with it. Just testing out the balance.”
Sam sighs. “You're no Katniss. So, what do we think?”
Cas looks at the arrow, squinting his eyes. “May I?”
“Sure, Cas.”
Cas takes the arrow and turns it around. He squints in that way he usually does when he's pondering something. Dean finds it really endearing. There's something about Cas being able to be both cute as hell and turn that stare into something menacing that makes butterflies tumble in Dean's stomach. Especially, when that gaze is directed at him.
“Anything?”
“Nothing that I can detect. There are no Enochian symbols or residue of any magic that I can sense. It is old, that I can sense but it can just be that. Maybe he was collecting old artifacts?”
“Maybe, that still doesn't explain why the hell he had an arrow with him on his crazy ass proposal trip. We'll borrow this.”
Cas interrupts. “Do you think that's wise?”
Dean grins. “We're FBI. Of course, it is. I suggest we go and visit Megalyn Julie.”
Megalyn Julie crosses her arms and sits down on the couch. “I wish I could offer you some coffee Mr. Banner, Stark and...?”
Cas turns and absentmindedly puts down the picture of Megalyn and a dog on the countertop. “Mr. Romanoff.”
Dean shakes his head slightly as he and Sam sit down on two chairs opposite her. “It's alright, Miss Julie – “
“Please, call me Megalyn, or Meg.” She exhales and touches her brown, curly hair. At first, Dean thinks it's a nervous gesture but as he looks into her brown eyes, he sees determination there. And anger.
“Alright, Meg it is. What was your relationship with Dan Kippen?”
Megalyn uncrosses her arms, but Dean doesn't miss the flash of annoyance on her face. “We were not.”
“Not what?”
She sighs deeply and looks at Dean. “We were not in a relationship.”
Sam frowns. “But... he, the banner that Dan put up. It was a proposal... it had your name on it.”
Megalyn nods slightly. “I heard. Look... Dan was a nice guy. Somewhat quirky but nice. Until he wasn't. We were not in a relationship, not one in real life at least.”
There's a heavy pause. Sam waits and then fills the silence. “Can you explain?”
“He had... a crush on me you could say. I've known for years and we had talked about it.”
“About that – “ Dean interjects “ – that you were just to stay, friends?”
Megalyn nods. “Yes, and everything was fine. Sure, he made a joke now and then but I could count them on my one hand. Then, I'd say... two months ago he changed.”
“Changed how?”
“He started doing all these things for me. Ordering me flowers, I got romantic cards. A box of chocolate on the stairs.”
Dean clicks his tongue. “I understand. And what was your reaction?”
Megalyn bites her lips, hesitant to continue.
Sam pats her on the shoulder. “It's alright Meg. You're not a suspect, we just want to hear your side of the story.”
“At first, I laughed it off. I thought he was playing some elaborate joke. He was quirky after all. But he just wouldn't stop. It was like... a weird compulsion. At first, it was the cards and chocolates. Then he started claiming that we were meant to be together. That I was his soulmate, that we should get married. That if I just listened to him, I'd understand. And the things he did turned more... extreme.”
Sam's voice is gentle. “And what happened then? When he didn't listen?”
“I debated going to the police. But I was not sure what to say. 'Hey, here's Dan and he's overly eager in trying to seduce me?' I know he was acting weird and that he tried to propose to me – like that with the banner on the side of a cliff – when he knew how I felt, what we had agreed upon earlier... It doesn't make sense.”
Dean's mouth is a thin line. “I mean, Dan does sound like a stalker.”
“He isn't – wasn't. He just started behaving very... irrationally. Like he was cursed or something.”
Dean glances at Cas.
Cas walks slowly until he stands next to the couch, where Dean's sitting. “You mentioned that as far as you recall, this started two months ago, Meg?”
“Yes, Mr. Romanoff.”
“Did something particular happen around that time? Had he been traveling somewhere special, met new friends, acquired sudden and new talents or hobbies?”
Megalyn frowns. “What kind of talents?”
Dean arches an eyebrow at Cas.
“Maybe a strange appreciation of the occult, deep and sudden knowledge about languages such as Latin or Enochian? Perhaps there was an air of sulfur attached to him or he developed a sudden penchant for hunting?”
Dean tries not to glare at Cas. He flashes a reassuring smile at Megalyn, as if these are perfectly normal questions.
“He only spoke English... and well, he thought he could speak German but he really couldn't. As for hunting, no?”
“We found this at the scene.” Cas holds up the arrow.
Dean observes her for any clues of familiarity with the arrow but either she knows nothing or she's a really good actress. He guesses it's the former.
“I haven't seen that before. I would have known if Dan was an archer.”
Dean rests his elbows on his knees. “Could he have been keeping this from you?”
“Yes, but I don't know why he would – “ She stops mid-sentence.
“Meg? You thought of something?” Sam pauses. “It's perfectly normal to remember things later. If you recall anything, even if it may seem insignificant, it can help us a great deal.”
Meg furrows her brow as she tries to recollect. “I'm not really sure, I think it was around two months ago... Dan was really excited and spoke about a gift he'd received. He didn't say what kind of gift it was but maybe it was that arrow.” She shakes her head and speaks more quietly. “Doesn't make sense though, I mean Dan was the type of guy that almost cut off his own fingers while chopping onions. I can't really see him taking up archery.”
“People would surprise you,” Sam says. “Thank you for your time, Meg. If there is anything else you come to think of, you have our number.”
As they sit down in the Impala, Dean turns to Sam and Cas. “So, you thinking the same thing I am?”
Cas nods. “Yes, it's very likely that the arrow is cursed.”
“No, the burgers, Cas. I'm fucking starving, man. Do they even have burgers? Sam, do your thing.”
It turns out that Heidi's Hot Dogs does have more than hot dogs. Dean moans around another bite of prime rib burger. “Next time, we eat first, play later.” He looks out the window. The darkness has suddenly settled over Pickens and Dean realizes that it's late. “You think we have time to go visit the Krushnics?”
Cas shakes his head. “It's getting late.”
Dean sips on his coke and grabs a fistful of fries. They're a tad low on salt but he dips them in ketchup and chews. He's too old to work hungry on the job. Being a hunter doesn't come with a high paycheck – hell, there is no check at all except the one they forge – but he can at least make sure that his belly is full.
“So we find us a nice motel, get some shut-eye, and talk to the Krushnics tomorrow. See if this case is connected to Kippen. Local officer found it odd so, maybe he's right.” He eyes Sam's fries. “You gonna eat those?” Dean leans over and takes two of Sam's fries.
Sam frowns. “Dean, don't take my food. And that's not – “
Dean makes a face and spits out the fries. “What the hell? What happened to your fries, Sammy? They sick or something?”
“It's parsnip fries.”
“Parsnip fries? That's just wrong, Sam.” He shakes his head in defeat. “I should have known.”
Sam smirks. “Suits you for stealing my fries.”
Dean grabs some coke to swallow down the taste of dirt.
“Sam has a point, Dean.”
“Not you too, Cas,” Dean mumbles around the edge of the glass. He turns to look at Cas and his heart does a double-take. He literally has to do a sharp inhale because it seems that there's an odd halo around Cas.
It looks like Cas is glowing.
Dean blinks but the weird halo is still there. He glances up at the ceiling and notices that the bulb in the lamp is really bright and somehow it's hitting Cas just perfectly. He takes another fry and looks at Cas again. The light does him good. The shade of his hair seems more intense, even his lips seem fuller, more kissable.
Christ. Dean needs to jerk off or sleep or watch a porno. He sighs softly and tries to take his mind out of the gutter. They have a case to solve.
Cas seems to notice Dean looking at him and smiles at him, one of those earnest gummy smiles that truly makes Dean grateful for having Cas in his life. Dean nods in Cas' direction and takes another bite of the burger.
The phone buzzes and Sam grabs it.
Dean can tell it's an officer or some other person working in a government branch because Sam gets his serious voice on – the one that's slightly lower than his normal one and he tosses a lot of “misters” around.
“ – You really think that's necessary? I think that – “ He smiles softly. “No, I don't think that will be a problem at all. Thanks for the heads up.”
Sam hangs up and looks expectantly at Dean and Cas. “So, that was the sheriff calling. We have a slight change of plans.”
Dean scowls. “What do you mean, 'slight change of plans?'”
Sam schools his face, but Dean has known his brother his whole life and recognizes that look. It's the same look Sam had when they were kids and Dean was about to take a bite out of the cream cheese sandwich Sam had made him, only to find out it was toothpaste instead. Or the look Sam had when Dean lost a bet to him and had to give up remote control rights for two days and all Sam wanted to watch was cartoons.
“So get this. The Krushnics since... finding each other again – or 'going weird' I think were the words the sheriff used – have been very particular with whom they spend time. How their status is.”
Dean wipes some sauce of his burger and glances at Cas to see if he has any idea what Sam is talking about. “Their status?”
“They feel strongly that love betters people and will only talk to people who were as the sheriff put it 'communed within the greatest force in the world'.”
Dean frowns. “What? They only want to speak to Star Wars fans? I mean, I don't mind donning a cloak and waving a lightsaber around. Hell, I can bring my real life-replica of Master Yoda's staff. Good Jedi I will be. I bet you'll look badass in the Jedi robes, Cas.”
Cas squints at Dean but doesn't say anything else.
“No, not the Force, Dean. The greatest force is love.” Sam's smile is so wide now that Dean starts to get worried. “Don't worry, I said you and Cas would volunteer.”
“Volunteer with what? What the hell are you talking about, Sammy?”
Sam eats one of his disgusting fake fries and finally spills the beans. “They have for some reason that I'm sure we'll find out, come to only want to associate with people who are deeply in love and show that love openly to the world.”
“Not making more sense here, Sam.”
Sam grins. “I'm talking about love, Dean. They only want to talk to people who are married. So I said you and Cas would volunteer to play the part. They expect you there tomorrow at ten. I have the address.”
Dean chokes on his drink and ignores the look Cas gives him. “What? Why the hell would you say that for, Sam?”
Sam pats his mouth dry with a napkin and finishes his beer. “That's the only way we can talk to them according to the sheriff. But it's alright. If it's a problem, me and Cas can pretend to be husbands.” He looks at Cas. “Right, Cas?”
Dean turns to Cas at the same time as Cas nods reassuringly. “Of course, Sam.”
“Nooo...,” Dean says way too fast. He has to reign in the weird panic that seizes his mind. He has to play it cool. Correction. There is nothing to play cool about because he is totally cool about this whole dumbass idea. “Why would I have a problem with Cas being uh... my husband?” He glances at Cas and does the finger guns. They always work like a charm, great for disarming people. “No problem at all.”
Sam looks at Dean and then at Cas. “Fine. It's settled then.”
They eat up the rest of their food. Cas tries to do some small talk but Dean focuses on finishing his burger although he can't really taste it anymore.
“Have you found a motel yet, Sam?” Even Dean can hear the slight undercurrent of irritation in his voice but he doesn't care to hide it. Can't a guy have grumpy days? Yes, he can.
Sam makes a hushing sound and talks some on the phone.
Dean grits his teeth. He can't even get his calming dose of Metallica because the awesome rock tones would apparently 'disturb' some people. Finally, Sam hangs up.
“So, which motel is it, Sammy?”
Sam makes a face again which immediately has Dean's pulse kicking into high gear. “I really tried to get us one together but there are slim pickings in Pickens.”
Dean shrugs and looks at the road and ignores Sam's pun. Why is he making that face? “It's fine, we've had separate rooms before.”
Sam clears his throat. “Good. I'll stay at Days Inn and you guys will be staying at the French Cottage.”
Dean doesn't like the sound of that.
Sam continues. “Just look at it as practice. For the whole husband thing.”
Dean definitely doesn't like the sound of that.