Chapter Text
Thinking back, everything about that day was kind of fuzzy. Thor couldn’t quite tell which client he had had before, he wasn’t sure what day of the week or the month it was. The only thing that stood out sharply, with every detail, was Loki.
Loki arrived neither early, nor too late, the doorbell rang at exactly four pm and Thor stopped what he was doing, even though he couldn’t remember what that was, to go and open the door. Even as he crossed the room, his trademark smile was already lighting up his face, to welcome his new client.
This was always the fun part. The surprise. And even after eight years in the business, he always felt the same tingle of curiosity, when opening the heavy oak-wood door, leading into his studio.
There were people of all kinds coming to see him. Balding men in suits, young college students who had saved up for the experience, women wearing high heels and pearl necklaces, or guys covered in tattoos and piercings.
Some were kinky so obviously, that Thor would have been able to guess their preferences from across the street, casually wearing collars wherever they went, while others only revealed that part of their persona within the safety of these rooms.
What united them all, was a deep need, a match to the one Thor had felt for years.
They came to be tied up, to be beaten, or humiliated and Thor was there to give them what they needed.
And while eight long years of experience, weren’t long enough to make the element of surprise disappear from his work, he did believe that after all he had seen, he at least wouldn’t be subject to shock again when facing a new client.
Oh, how wrong he had been.
Looking back, he knew that he could have never been ready for Loki.
When he opened the door, he was confronted with the image of a tall, pale man, wearing a black coat, with an upturned collar that made his sharp jawline stand out all the more. The expert tailoring of the coat’s heavy material as well as the arrangement of the rows of golden buttons gave an idea of the natural curves and lines of the body waiting underneath. The way it was cut, it slightly accentuated the man’s waist, giving him a more feminine silhouette than what would have been typical.
The young man was caught mid-movement by Thor, as he tugged pine-coloured leather gloves off his long fingers, revealing the pale skin beneath.
And as their eyes met, Thor’s smile slipped from his face just as a sharp grin spread on Loki’s.
“Mister Odinson?” He asked, his voice cool and silky, as he stretched out his now naked hand for Thor to shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Yes. Likewise,” Thor said while giving Loki’s slim, cold hand a squeeze. “Come on in. Please have a seat.”
He opened the door farther and stepped aside, to allow Loki to enter, which he did, moving in long, graceful strides.
“I hope you do realize how very inconvenient this is for me, Mister Odinson,” The young man said, glancing over at Thor, just as he opened the buttons of his coat, to reveal the emerald silk lining within, that stood out with such bold vibrancy that Thor’s breath halted once more. It gave a clear contrast to the snug-fitting grey button-up, he wore underneath, that showed off his lithe physique.
“How so?” Thor asked, with a second of delay. And with the way Loki’s green eyes lit up, he was only too aware of the effect he was having on Thor.
“As in, I deem this particular meeting quite unnecessary. You must know, I am very busy and I quite frankly don’t see the need to dedicate an entire appointment just to talk.”
“Well, you’re the one allowing a stranger to tie you up in a soundproof room,” Thor shot back. He’d had this argument so many times before, with businesspeople whining about the time they had to ‘waste’ with safety precautions. “Trust me. You want to take the time to have a good, long chat with me. You’ve got to feel like you can trust me before you’re gagged and hanging from a hook on the ceiling.”
Loki snorted but Thor didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened, as the mental image unfolded in his mind. It was relieving to see, that this kind of incentive worked as well on Loki, as it did on most of his other clients.
“Still. A talk on the phone would have sufficed,” Loki argued and despite only having known him for five minutes, Thor could already tell that Loki was the kind of person that always needed to have the last word.
Thor huffed but said nothing, as he walked over to sit down on the large leather chair by the window and waited for Loki to take the seat opposite from him. The room they were in was rather small and served as his office and a place to talk. There needed to be a neutral place to make arrangements and to have a conversation, if they didn’t want to get hopelessly caught up in the inherent power dynamic of his work.
“But you’re here. I’m glad you decided to take the time nonetheless,” Thor said and watched Loki shrug out of his coat, before he crossed the room, with those long, graceful steps. His shoes clacked on the wooden floor and Thor felt like he was being approached by a large cat. Dangerous and beautiful.
Loki sat down on the burgundy coloured chair in front of Thor, crossed his long legs, and reached into his bag for a thin folder. He leaned forward to wordlessly hand it over to Thor, who took it with a puzzled look.
Loki nodded at him encouragingly and Thor opened the folder with a frown.
It didn’t take him more than a second to recognize the folder’s content. First, there was a sheet of heavy, expensive paper with a very extensive list of kinks on it.
They were neatly divided into different categories and colour coded based on how comfortable Loki was with that particular practice.
Huh. Someone came here prepared.
Thor glanced up at Loki, who with a movement of his hand implied that Thor should read.
It would take longer to get all the details from what Loki had written but at first glance a few things already became apparent.
First one being, that Loki liked pain. And authority.
Altogether, he seemed to like it pretty rough, but he shied away from some kinks that most people were avoiding as well, like scat or piss play. Thor didn’t cater to those kinks, to begin with- they were in the realm of his hard limits, ones he never felt like exploring, even though he had been offered quite exorbitant amounts of money before to change his mind.
“Wow, you put in some time to prepare, I appreciate it,” Thor said, as he looked up from the paper.
“Yeah. I could have just mailed you this,” Loki said, sounding distant and vaguely annoyed, which made something shift within Thor. It was nothing more but a soft rumble of a distant storm that was likely to pass by. But Thor had a feeling that it wasn’t going to stay that way. There were clients he had a stronger emotional response to than others, but Loki, knowingly or not, stirred something within him awake.
Something raw and powerful.
But it was still easy to push it back down, where it came from, and move on. He was a professional after all and he couldn’t let his emotions get in the way of his clients’ well-being, even if said client was arrogant and self-assured, practically begging to be shown his place.
Later. He calmed himself, thinking that he would have Loki under his control soon enough and then this rising feeling would find its outlet and disappear.
Back then he truly believed, that would be enough
“You could have. But that’s simply not how I work. There are too many things to discuss. Like here-“ He glanced down at the piece of paper again. “-you wrote absolutely no marking. How about marks that fade within an hour? Like marks from a rope, or redness from a spanking, or something like that.”
Loki did hesitate at that question.
“Well, I suppose that would be okay. But I can’t afford anything more permanent than that.”
“May I ask why?” Thor asked gently. Some of his clients were in relationships while visiting him, their partner being unable to sate or even understand their cravings. Often they were eaten up by remorse and doubt. And Thor couldn’t stand to just leave them alone with this feeling. He was simply too caring, to just let the people he got so intimate with, suffer in silence. Because who else would they talk to about this? Who else would try to understand?
But unlike what Thor expected, the question only made Loki perk up as if he had just been waiting to be asked about that.
“Well, if you must know, I am a rather successful model,” Loki looked at Thor expectantly, but Thor just stared back at him, unaware of what Loki wanted him to say in response. After a few moments of awkward silence Loki added: “Quite frankly, I was a little surprised that you didn’t recognize me.”
Thor’s expression grew only more dumbfounded.
“Never seen you before,” He said with a shrug, which obviously wasn’t what Loki wanted to hear because his expression soured instantly.
“You probably just haven’t been paying attention. Or you’re simply not paying a lot of mind to the world of fashion.”
At that, a genuine, warm laugh rose up from Thor’s chest.
“I believe it must be the latter. I don’t exactly have a Vogue subscription if that’s what you mean.”
Loki still seemed slightly offended, but it was a good enough excuse for him, and he graciously forgave Thor for his lack of knowledge as well as his rudeness, with a nod of his head.
“You don’t look like you have,” Loki said with a casual shrug and Thor took a moment too long to figure out whether or not that was an insult. Loki already went on speaking. “But that is beside the point. The point being, that I can’t show up to a shooting or fashion show, with whip marks on my back.”
Loki smirked, revealing sharp white teeth and it sent a shiver down Thor’s spine.
“It would raise some eyebrows, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Probably, yeah,” Thor’s mouth was a little dry, because the picture of Loki taking off his shirt in the middle of a shoot, revealing red welts across his back, was already beginning to unfold in his mind.
Thor cleared his throat and that only made Loki’s grin widen. Like he could look right through Thor’s thick skull and see what was happening there.
“So, we’ve got that sorted out. What else is there that made it absolutely vital for me to be here today?”
Thor was only too glad to move on.
“What do you mean by this? You marked physical and emotional comfort as your hard limits. What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s supposed to mean, that I don’t want either in my sessions. Are you sure you’re the professional here?”
Gods. Thor has seen bratty subs before. But he had never before seen someone who was begging so efficiently to be slapped. Hell, people outside of the world of fetish probably wanted to slap Loki.
But Thor reigned himself in.
If he snapped now, it wouldn’t be a show of power or authority, it would only turn him into a pathetic plaything in Loki’s eyes. To be turned on and off at will, with just a few calculated words.
Thor wouldn’t make it that easy for him.
“I got that much. But how about aftercare?”
“Oh,” Loki said like he was mildly surprised at the question. “I don’t need that.”
Once again Thor was dumbfounded. Loki said it so nonchalantly like he was simply ordering his drink without ice cubes.
“You can’t just…I’m not going to beat you up without making sure you’re alright afterward.”
“Why not?”
The question was so genuine, that Thor’s heart clenched and at the same time a fresh wave of anger rose up, almost making him choke.
Where would Thor even begin to answer that question? There were at least a dozen reasons why he couldn’t do that, but he settled for the one Loki was most likely to understand.
“Do you think I want to be sued, for not checking in with you, after hurting you? If something were to happen, I’m the one who is going to be held accountable.”
Loki’s puzzled expression changed into one of understanding and he nodded his head.
“Fine. So, if I understand correctly, there’s still no need for physical or emotional comfort necessary. How’s that for a deal: After the session you simply leave me alone, give me fifteen minutes to get ready and then we can have a little chat, in which I assure you that I am perfectly fine.”
Thor frowned. He didn’t like it. It felt wrong.
Those tender minutes, when the pain still reverberated but there was a mutual understanding that the time for hurting was over. The relief. The release of tension. It was over. Finally- and still way too soon.
He got so impossibly close to people in those quiet moments, when he released the bindings, dried the tears, soothed the hurts - it meant as much to him as it did to his partners.
It made him feel human again. Gave him a chance for redemption.
And still, after a moment of doubt, Thor agreed with a nod. Because he could sense that Loki was not going to back down on this. He would leave and look for a Dom who would play by his rules and Thor could stand that idea even less.
‘We’ll still talk,’ Thor tried to justify it. ‘Whether it’s ten minutes sooner or later won’t matter.’
“Alright,” Thor said reluctantly and Loki just smirked. He was so pleased with having gotten exactly what he wanted.
“So that’s settled as well. What else?”
Thor flipped the page and looked over the other contents of Loki’s folder.
There were the surprisingly recent results of an STD test, which were all negative.
“Unprotected sex is off the table- you know that, right?” Thor asked and briefly looked up at Loki who only shrugged his shoulders.
“Worth a shot,” He grinned, and Thor snorted a laugh before he moved on.
There was only one more paper, that included Loki’s phone number, his e-mail address as well as an emergency contact.
“Have you ever had a professional Dom before?” Thor asked, not trying to keep the surprise out of his voice. The guy was only twenty-three, he wouldn’t have expected him to have any meaningful contact with the world of BDSM before but the way he prepared himself made Thor wonder.
“No. I just like to come prepared for whatever I do,” Loki explained.
“You’re a control freak, aren’t you?” Thor asked with a fond smile, but Loki was on the fence immediately, looking at him warily, like he was trying to determine whether or not Thor was mocking him.
“I suppose I am,” He said slowly. “It’s not like it’s something bad.”
“It’s not,” Thor agreed quickly. “But it does get exhausting doesn’t it?”
At that, something flashed across Loki’s face, something real and vulnerable. Thor felt the urge to chase after it, hold onto it but it was gone so quickly, and Loki was intent on moving on.
“Not too exhausting for me,” Loki said firmly and lifted his chin with defiant pride.
Thor could only keep his sorrowful sigh back because he was lost in the hope that whatever it was Loki was burdened with, he would be able to ease the weight.
“You’re probably used to it, huh?” Thor asked. “I hear modeling is pretty exhausting?”
“It’s worth it,” Loki said curtly but the way he briefly broke eye contact to glance down at his hands, told Thor that there was more to it.
“Probably, yeah. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t want a break. Is this what you want out of this? A break?”
“I just like pain. There doesn’t need to be a deep explanation for it.”
“You’re right,” Thor agreed. “But still there usually is.”
“Oh,” Loki lifted a brow and his eyes lit up with curiousity. “Then what is your deep explanation?”
Thor didn’t like answering such a question. But that’s what this talk was all about, right? Building trust. And how could he expect Loki to open up to him, if he offered nothing of himself in return?
“I guess I’m a naturally dominant person,” Thor began. “It showed in me always being the leader in every group of friends I was in. And later in my relationships. I wanted things to go my way and I had the charisma, the attitude and if necessary, the physical strength to enforce my will.”
Loki listened curiously, his sharp chin resting on his delicate hand.
“And I never thought much of it. I thought this was the way the world was meant to be: revolving around me. But I made mistakes. Hurt people. And at one point I needed to ask myself: What is this? What am I doing and why?”
“And this is the result of those considerations?”
“Indirectly yes,” Thor smiled at Loki. “I sought to understand myself better and along the way, I became more knowledgeable. I got into the scene and everything just fell into place. I could be who I am while also striving to be better. And at one point I decided to become a professional.”
Loki looked at him quietly for a few moments, the tiniest frown etched a line into his otherwise smooth forehead. But whatever Loki was thinking remained a secret.
“So,” Thor asked when he still didn’t get a reaction. “How did you find out that this was something you wanted to do?”
The frown disappeared from Loki’s face and made place for an ironic smile.
“Sorry, but that’s none of your business.”
Thor stared back at Loki, as his jaw clenched with the building frustration. Of course, Loki never intended to share anything about himself- but he didn’t have to. A calmer voice within reminded him.
This was just a talk.
Thor had started talking about himself out of his own free will and that didn’t give him the right to expect the same.
“I figured,” Thor’s tone was tense but controlled and he could see the brief disappointment in Loki’s eyes. The little shit probably hoped to get some violence out of Thor right now, whether that was a conscious decision or not. If Thor hadn’t known a lot of people just like him, he would have already given in to Loki- he was a talented manipulator.
“From my side, there’s no reason to go on with that tedious and unnecessary meeting,” Thor said jokingly. “Unless you have any questions, we can schedule an appointment now, and then you can go back to taking care of your busy schedule.”
“Finally,” Loki agreed and got up from his chair. “So all the tediously boring things are out of the way now?”
Thor sighed but nodded.
“Yes. Next time around we can get started.”
Loki grinned back at him, like a cat that got the cream.
“Perfect. I can’t wait.”