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The first time Yoo Joonghyuk tries holding Kim Dokja's hand, Kim Dokja thought that he was going to break it.
It happened so quickly. Kim Dokja barely had any time to react.
Before he could say or do anything about it, Yoo Joonghyuk had grabbed his right hand, holding it tight without any means of escape. “Kim Dokja,” he says, staring straight at him with a deep furrow in his brow. “Wait.”
“Uh, yes?” Kim Dokja looks down at their linked hands. This… is somewhat of an unprecedented event. He tries tugging his hand just to see if Yoo Joonghyuk would give way, which he doesn’t. “Is there something you need?”
He couldn’t remember a time in either of Yoo Joonghyuk’s regressions where he went and held his comrade’s hands. The only one that comes to mind is Lee Seolhwa but that was to be expected since she was his past lover.
Granted, the two of them are companions right now. Not that Kim Dokja knows the full extent of their relationship. Being Life and Death Companions with Yoo Joonghyuk is both so utterly vague and specific that Kim Dokja never knows where exactly they both fall in.
Sure, they kiss and do shit but Kim Dokja knows that Yoo Joonghyuk would not hesitate to rip him a new one if he so decides to.
Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t answer him right away, his mouth pursed as if he’s trying to collect his thoughts. As the seconds turn into minutes, Kim Dokja’s hands start to sweat from both the intensity of Yoo Joonghyuk’s stare and his own nervousness.
As calmly as possible, Kim Dokja tries to analyse the situation by himself. Is he trying to hurt me? Is this another one of his intimidation tactics? He turns and faces Yoo Joonghyuk completely, studying their linked hands. Did he master some new form of hand martial arts?
Suddenly, the unthinkable happens: Yoo Joonghyuk squeezes Kim Dokja’s hand, thumb lightly tracing the underside of his palm.
“Please don't break my bones,” he immediately blurts out. Yoo Joonghyuk has his Strength levelled up to max and even with Kim Dokja's current Stamina level, he's pretty sure his hand would break regardless. “We just cleared a sub-scenario without any major injuries,” Kim Dokja says. “If you fight me right now, we’ll only end up wasting supplies for treatment.”
“I need to ask you something,” Yoo Joonghyuk says, taking a step forward until they were only a few inches apart.
“Okay,” Kim Dokja swallows. “Are you gonna say it anytime soon…?”
It’s a good thing Kim Dokja is not the only one confused about Yoo Joonghyuk’s actions. Sooner or later, the Constellations would make a fuss.
[The Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is wondering what’s happening over the whole situation.]
[The Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is shaking his head in exasperation.]
[The Constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ is asking Incarnation ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ about his intentions.]
[The Constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is saying to just ask for a fight like a normal person.]
A fight? Is this what it's all about?
He wouldn’t put it past him. The first time they met, Yoo Joonghyuk had grabbed him by his neck and threw him into the mouth of an ichthyosaur after all. Who knows what he’s planning to do by grabbing Kim Dokja’s hand? A fight would be the most logical guess.
“Are you still suffering from an adrenaline rush?” Kim Dokja asks. Yoo Joonghyuk just probably needs to release some steam left over from the previous scenario. “Do you want to spar with me or something?”
“No,” Yoo Joonghyuk shakes his head. He gives Kim Dokja an unimpressed stare. “Do you honestly think I'd choose to spar with someone like you?”
First of all, ouch. He’s definitely going to get back at him for this one. Maybe he’ll get the kids and terrorise him or something. Or maybe he’ll force Yoo Joonghyuk to do all the hard carrying in the following scenarios, make him work his ass off in repayment for this and all the previous heart attacks he’d given Kim Dokja prior. Yoo Joonghyuk and his stupid protagonist halo could take the punishment, Kim Dokja guarantees it. Second of all, he's not as weak as Yoo Joonghyuk thinks him to be anymore. So what if he died a few times? He's not going to die until he sees the epilogue of this story.
Despite the blow that question had on Kim Dokja’s pride however, it leaves him with only one explanation left.
“So you are trying to hurt me, yes?” He asks, taking one step backwards. Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t answer (of course he doesn’t, that asshole). Instead, he closes the distance between them, making Kim Dokja start actively tugging his hand free from Yoo Joonghyuk’s grip.
“Let go of me, you bastard!” Kim Dokja grits out. What the fuck. Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands could substitute for handcuffs with how strong his grip is.
Kim Dokja could try mapping how far he could get away from Yoo Joonghyuk if he manages to knee him in his prized jewels. How much of a head start would he get while the regressor is clutching at his balls? Kim Dokja glances up at Yoo Joonghyuk’s expression and blanches.
Nevermind, pulling a stunt like that is a one-way trip to heaven. He’d have a much higher rate of survival if he manages to break free from Yoo Joonghyuk’s grip. If only he had a stigma like Han Myungoh’s One-legged Swift Horse, which grants him a speed boost if his leg gets cut off. Was there a similar one if you cut off both your hands? Or would it be easier if he just activated Bookmark and use Way of the Wind to escape?
“Stop trying to run away,” Yoo Joonghyuk says, breaking Kim Dokja out of his reverie. His grip tightens even more as he frowns, “Just. Wait for a bit.”
Kim Dokja lets out a laugh, more fear-induced than anything. “And give you enough time to break my hand? No thanks.” With Yoo Joonghyuk holding his right, his left hand has to reach around just to touch the hilt of his sword. Dammit, he should have anticipated something like this and learned how to use his sword left-handed. “Let go, Yoo Joonghyuk. Surely, that sunfish brain of yours could comprehend requests like this, right?”
His glare only strengthens and with it, so does Kim Dokja's panic. Fuck. “Okay, you can break my hand! Just do it on my non-dominant one instead,” Kim Dokja says quickly, thrusting his left hand forward. It would be a pain if they ran into monsters right after and he couldn’t use his right hand to fight. “Here, take it!”
His offer ends up backfiring on him. Yoo Joonghyuk does take his left hand but he also doesn't let go of his right. Instead, he grips both of them and changes his position, lacing their fingers together as well.
Kim Dokja is screwed. He is so, so screwed.
In a flash, he lifts his right leg up and aims for Yoo Joonghyuk’s knee, pitching the other forward as he wrenches free. Yoo Joonghyuk lets out a grunt, swiping out at him, “Kim Dokja, you bastard.”
He blocks the punch Kim Dokja aims next and sends a punch towards the other male’s side. “Shit,” Kim Dokja exhales, the air literally getting punched out of him.
Fucking hell.
“Stop trying to attack me! What is it that you want?!” Kim Dokja says, evading yet another one of Yoo Joonghyuk’s swipes. He gets another clean hit in, punching him straight in the stomach.“Why do you keep trying to grab me?”
“I’m not trying to grab you,” Yoo Joonghyuk grits out. His face reddens as he shouts his next sentence out, “I’m just trying to hold your hand!”
Silence passes between them. Kim Dokja drops his hand back to his side, staring straight at Yoo Joonghyuk and his sudden confession.
What.
The.
Fuck.
His hand?
“Oh,” Kim Dokja says, eloquently.
[The Constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ has cracked her screen from screaming too loud.]
[The Constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is laughing at the awkward situation, thinking that you both are stupid.]
[The Constellation ‘Queen of the Darkest Spring’ is looking intently at the development of your relationship.]
[Many Constellations are fascinated by the unexpected pure side of the Incarnation Yoo Joonghyuk.]
[10,000 coins have been sponsored!]
The two of them frown upwards with all the indirect messages coming in from all the Constellations spectating. These guys...
Yoo Joonghyuk gives him a long-suffering look. “Kim Dokja.”
“I’m on it,” he sighs, calling out to Biyoo immediately. “Biyoo, please mute the channel.”
“Ba-at!”
The indirect messages suddenly die out and Kim Dokja bites his lip, staring resolutely at the ground. “So…” He says, reaching up to scratch the side of his cheek briefly. Kim Dokja glances up at Yoo Joonghyuk, his stiff posture and clenched jaw easing some of the embarrassment he’s currently feeling. “You want to hold my hand?”
“I just said so.” Yoo Joonghyuk replies gruffly, meeting Kim Dokja’s gaze squarely. “Do you really want me to repeat myself?”
“No, no, I heard you the first time,” Kim Dokja hurriedly says. And, because he couldn’t help himself, he adds in with a slight grin, “I didn’t expect you to have a cute side.” He laughs a bit, “Are you a tsundere, after all?”
“A what ?”
“Haha, don’t mind me. I’m just rambling.” Kim Dokja says, biting back a laugh at Yoo Joonghyuk’s obvious confusion. The other male is still glaring at him so Kim Dokja decides to take the next step. “Since you asked, here,” he says, offering his hand out. “Take it.”
Yoo Joonghyuk stares at his hand for a bit before taking it, clasping their hands together. Like two missing halves of a puzzle, their hands fit surprisingly well. Kim Dokja curls his fingers around Yoo Joonghyuk’s palm on instinct with Yoo Joonghyuk doing the same in turn.
“Sorry, my hands are a bit sweaty.” Kim Dokja says, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. “It’s not very comfortable, is it?”
“Why would I be concerned over that?” Yoo Joonghyuk immediately replies. “It’s not like my own hands are any better.”
At this, Kim Dokja glances down at Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands once more. His tanned skin looks golden when wrapped around his pale hands. Sword calluses and scars litter his skin, the texture so markedly different from Kim Dokja’s own.
He feels somewhat embarrassed with how dainty his hands look compared to Yoo Joonghyuk’s own. As a reader, his only calluses are from where he grips his smartphone and on his fingertips which tap and glide relentlessly on a screen. Compared to Yoo Joonghyuk whose hands have hardened as a testament of his strength and training, Kim Dokja thinks that his hands don’t look like what people would expect from a Demon King or a Constellation like him.
“Stop overthinking this, Kim Dokja,” Yoo Joonghyuk says, scowling a bit when he sees his mind wander. “Relax.”
Kim Dokja does what he asks, letting out a soft exhale to release the tension in his body.
When was the last time Yoo Joonghyuk had someone touch him just for the sake of touching? When was the last time Yoo Joonghyuk had his guard long enough for a short, tender moment like this?
His fingers gently trace one of the scars on Yoo Joonghyuk’s palm. Kim Dokja watches the way Yoo Joonghyuk shivers at the contact, making his chest feel tight. His gentle ministrations are then returned when Yoo Joonghyuk does the same, fingers lightly skimming over Kim Dokja’s own.
When was the last time he had someone touch him like this?
“Your hands are surprisingly nice to hold,” Kim Dokja blurts out, and because he hasn’t completely thought out what he’s saying, “Is this what your sword would feel if it were sentient?”
“...What is with that question?” Yoo Joonghyuk asks. He slowly rearranges their hands, interlacing their fingers so their palms press more securely together. “It’s just holding hands.”
Kim Dokja hums, “Why did you decide to ask me this all of a sudden? And why now of all times?”
“...I guess I wanted to congratulate you for clearing a scenario without sacrificing yourself for once—”
“You guys are really not going to let that go, huh,” Kim Dokja cuts in, grimacing a bit.
“How many times have you died for our sake?” Yoo Joonghyuk says, raising an eyebrow at him. “Since you didn’t pull any stupid stunts this time, I thought that I’d let you know how I felt.”
“Didn’t take you for a romantic,” Kim Dokja whistles.
“It’s not like I haven’t been thinking about it. We’re companions, aren’t we?” Yoo Joonghyuk’s snaps, his ears turn pink. It’s cute and so unexpected, that Kim Dokja doesn’t blame his heart for skipping a beat. The sight is ethereal enough that it could slap everyone’s face twice-fold—no, thrice-fold. “Holding hands… That’s somewhat of a norm, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Kim Dokja looks back down at their intertwined hands, “I guess it is.”
Slowly, Yoo Joonghyuk runs the pad of his thumb up and down the soft skin of Kim Dokja’s hand, following the curve of his palm down his wrist and back to the grooves of his knuckles. Kim Dokja could feel his eyes slipping shut, lulled by the slow, gentle journey of Yoo Joonghyuk’s fingers and revelling in the quiet feeling of fondness between them.
“This is nice,” Kim Dokja hums, “Next time though, you don’t have to ask permission to hold my hand if it’s just the two of us.” He tentatively squeezes Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand, a subtle sign of him returning the affection he’s been given. “As you said, we’re companions. You don’t have to act so ominously and serious for something like this.”
“Alright.”
“But do make it clear that the contact is affectionate and not violent. I really thought you were going to break my hand back there. I still can’t tell the difference between your happy face and your ‘I-want-to-kill-Kim-Dokja’ Face,” Kim Dokja continues on. “You really need to learn to use your words and give it to me straight. You can’t just rely on your brooding glares to get the message out, you know—”
Kim Dokja words die down in his throat when Yoo Joonghyuk leans over and shuts him up with a kiss. He tilts his head back with a sigh, Yoo Joonghyuk tugging him close and trapping their hands between them. “Kim Dokja,” he says, giving him another kiss for good measure. “Stop talking. Just continue holding my hand until we reach the Industrial Complex.”
"Alright." And so, Kim Dokja does.