Chapter Text
The Cross Time Caper, as Brian had joked once in that British way he liked to do so (which was rarely), was not that much fun. Sure, adventures were to be had, damsels saved from distress, some very revealing outfits to be worn, planets saved, so on and so forth. But the day to day living of constantly being shunted from planet to planet was disorienting and uncomfortable at times. People had limits, those limits were constantly exposed when the team was stuck together on the train for extended periods. The lighthouse was small, sure, but the lighthouse had something that the train they were stuck on didn’t: the option to walk away and go outside. Going from world to world with no information, no context, was showing each Excalibur teammate a little too much about their friends, and honestly, a break was needed.
That break came in the form of silence. Sudden deep, quiet silence, the absence of noise which sent Kitty rocketing up from her seat, dislodging Rachel and Widget both who had fallen asleep on her. She carefully stepped over Kurt, who was sleeping on the floor by her feet for some reason, to press her hands on the train’s window.
They were somewhere new, that was certain, but where was unclear.
It looked like a garden, one filled with flowers growing over trellises, carefully arranged rows of vegetables with child-like writing delineating what grew where, and a couple of benches that were sitting mangled, up against and under the train where it had noiselessly crashed through. A woman stood in the middle of the beautiful garden, mouth agape. She wore pristine white overalls, one button artfully undone, the front folded over white gloves in the pocket. Her white hat blocked sunlight from revealing her face, but something about her felt familiar.
Behind her another woman ran closer, emerging from a doorway in the vine covered brick wall, to stop unceremoniously in front of the woman in white. This person looked exactly like Ororo. She wore her hair back in braids, which cascaded down her shoulders to her elbows. Her clothes were loose, but colorful, and she wore green gardening knee pads. She threw down the trowel in her hand and stepped closer to the train, her words lost behind the glass of the window.
Kitty placed her hand on the glass, then startled and pulled it back when she met eyes with Ororo. Ororo’s lips clearly made the shape of Kitty’s name, and she looked frantically side to side to find a door. Behind her, the woman in white removed her hat to show her blonde hair and blue eyes. Emma Frost turned to the side and shouted something, the words once more lost behind the glass.
“What the hell?” Rachel had clearly woken up and stepped over Kurt, who was groggily mumbling to himself, still on the floor. “This is definitely not our universe.”
“Yeah,” Kitty said, “that looks like Emma Frost but the Emma Frost I know would never be seen getting her hands dirty.”
“You know better than I,” Rachel huffed a laugh. “Kurt, are you up? Looks like we’ve arrived somewhere interesting.”
Kurt got his knees under him, and managed to push himself upright, still feeling tired and sore. He popped his back by arching himself backwards, nearly touching his nose to the floor once again. Kitty could only laugh at the sight – she could see his hairy bellybutton as he bent. As he got further back, the front of his pants began to fall slightly, showing the beginning of a darker patch of hair. Kitty quickly looked away, suddenly embarrassed but not sure why. She didn’t have a lot of time to think about it as her eyes caught sight of the Ororo outside, who had found the door.
Before Ororo could knock, Kitty flung herself away from Kurt’s exposed stomach and towards the door to yank it open. Ororo stood there, one hand up in a fist, paused in midair, mouth agape. “Kitten?”
“Ororo!” Kitty threw her arms around her friend, “I can’t believe it. It’s so nice to see you, I love the changes you guys have made.” She released her friend, her hands still on her shoulders while she looked into Ororo’s shockingly blue eyes.
“Kitten, it is such a pleasure to be greeted in this way!” Ororo’s eyes crinkled with her laughter. She craned to look past Kitty into the train car, where the rest of Excalibur were collecting themselves. “I swear I just saw you in the kitchen… oh, hello.” She had caught sight of Meggan and Brian, and the confusion on her face grew as her eyes flicked from person to person.
“Ororo?” Kitty and Ororo both turned towards the speaker, her voice coming from the garden near where Emma Frost had been standing. It was strange, the voice felt so familiar but in a way Kitty couldn’t place. Until she saw the speaker. It was herself, standing next to Emma Frost, her hand shading her eyes in the sunlight.
Ororo backed down out of the doorway, and Kitty followed her. So it wasn’t their home universe. Her home universe had one version of herself in it, and she was it. To see herself standing there in the garden felt equal parts exciting and disappointing. Exciting in that she didn’t realize quite how cool it felt to have a doppelganger, but disappointing in that they still were not home. What she would give to be in her own bed, surrounded by her own things, working on her own computer programs.
“This is completely unexpected, and you’ve absolutely ruined the most beautiful part of the garden which I had worked my fingers down to the very bone to have the children create!” Kitty tore her eyes away from her doppelganger to look over at the alternate Emma. She had closed her mouth from gawping at the train, and had placed her hands on her hips. “This simply will not do. Ororo, Katherine, I am informing the others to have this mess cleaned up.” She turned on her heel and walked through the doorway behind her, muttering “the children worked so hard on it, too.”
The Alternate Kitty’s jaw worked soundlessly while she tried to figure out something to say. She shrugged at the Alternate Ororo before saying “I’m sure we can figure this out. Why don’t we… oh… oh, hello.”
Kitty looked behind her to see Rachel and Kurt emerge from the train, followed closely by the rest of the team. Alternate Kitty breezed past Kitty and Alternate Ororo to extend her hand to Kurt, who met her with a wide grin. He caught her fingers in his palm and bowed as he playfully kissed the back of her hand.
“We are blessed! Yet another Kätzchen.“ Kurt laughed so easily, and the only clue of his unease with the situation could be seen in the nervous flicker of his tail. Kitty knew him well enough to know it was a show - one that was working, judging by the blush creeping up Alternate Kitty’s neck.
She cleared her throat loudly. Alternate Kitty spun around again to face her, and smoothed down the hair in her ponytail. “Like I was saying, I’m sure we can figure this out. Why don’t we all come inside? Have you guys eaten yet?”
Kitty could see Lockheed’s snout poke out of the doorway, chuff, then disappear again within the train’s confines. He could stay there all he wanted, Kitty was feeling a bit peckish. Mostly tired though. She followed Alternate Kitty and Ororo thought the doorway Alternate Emma had just used with barely a backward glance at her team following.
“Well, uh, while we figure out how to get your train moving again, we’ll make you comfortable. The Institute is a little less full over the summer, so we have plenty of rooms.” The Alternate Kitty smiled over her shoulder as she led them down the halls. “A lot of students go back home to be with their parents, or get summer jobs in Salem Center, so the days are a little less hectic.”
“That’s… that’s so normal.” Kitty ran her fingers through her unruly curls. The Alternate Kitty had pulled hers back into a ponytail, whisps of chocolate hair escaping at random. “So the school runs only in winter? Like.. a regular school?”
“Well, yes.” Alternate Kitty looked at Kitty quizzically. “We’re just a school. The teachers like myself live here twenty-four-seven, but otherwise even our residential students go home occasionally.” She smiled at Kitty.
It was hard to think of Xavier’s Institute for Gifted Youngsters as ‘just a school.’ It had been everything to her when she was there, anything less felt inconceivable. She had only left for Excalibur with Rachel and Kurt when she thought she had lost everything. And to think, at this just-a-school, she herself was a teacher, not a student.
“Do you not occasionally save the world?” Meggan inquired politely. Both Alternate Kitty and Alternate Ororo laughed.
“Yes, sweet child, we do occasionally.” Ororo’s merry laugh added a humble note to her assertion. “When the X-men are called to help out our fellows, we certainly rise to the task.”
“Here,” Alternate Kitty stopped them in their path to a doorway, open and inviting. “This is an empty dorm, there are rooms enough for each but a shared common space for you all to relax in while we try to figure out the train thing.”
Alternate Ororo poked her head in, then walked in. The center of the room was dominated by a huge red couch, sitting over a deep shag carpet. An armchair flanked it on each side, and along the walls were four more doorways. Behind the couch sat a large wooden table with gold lamps. It really did look like a dorm, but something Kitty could have sworn she saw out of a movie about some Ivy League university. It was so inviting, she could picture herself snuggled up on that couch with her favorite book in hand, finally, finally relaxing.
Something about this world took the edge away. The lure of sitting, feeling safe within these walls was too much. She noticed a blanket folded over the back of the couch and all sounds faded behind her. Whatever Alternate Kitty and Ororo were discussing with her Meggan, Kurt, Rachel, and Brian, was of no consequence anymore. She drifted towards the couch without realizing she was doing so, and had managed to sit herself on it and kick off her shoes before the voices in the background filtered into her consciousness.
It was Alternate Kitty, laughing. It felt strange to see herself laugh, and she could only manage a glance before her eyes slid away. “I totally understand how you feel, sometimes it’s just so nice to sit for a while.” Alternate Kitty chuckled again and shook her head. “Especially these days. If you want, uh, Kitty, you are welcome to stay here while Ororo and I finish the tour. Feel free to rest, seems like you all deserve it.”
Kitty just nodded. The strangeness from being in a world so like her own but off just, just so, was disconcerting to the point of exhaustion. Her attention was off of her team as they moved away from the doorway, a shelf on a bookcase across the room swam into view. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Alternate Ororo shift in the doorway, one hand on the doorjam, looking back at her.
“Kitten, are you well?” Alternate Ororo’s voice was just as soft as her counterpart.
Kitty’s eyes flicked over to her. She smiled softly, tiredly, then looked into her hands tucked into her lap. “Yes, just tired. Ready for some rest.”
Ororo moved back into the room and plucked a book from the shelf Kitty had lost herself in. “This was a book that Charles gave me when I first arrived here, feeling tired and lost, unsure of myself.” She came closer to Kitty and sat on the couch next to her. The other’s voices had moved down the hall, continuing on their tour. “I felt so out of place, everything was so unfamiliar and yet I wanted so badly for it to be familiar.”
Kitty looked over at Alternate Ororo. She was so familiar, those blue eyes in that kind face, her white hair tucked back into box braids behind a black headband. It was hard to imagine any version of Ororo feeling out of place anywhere.
“I want you to have it. Maybe it will give you comfort as it did I.” Ororo’s smile was the same across worlds, the kindness within her shining through a simple quirk to her lips. She placed a book in Kitty’s lax hands, and with a squeeze to her shoulder, Ororo breezed out of the room leaving Kitty to her thoughts.
Kitty’s eyes slowly focused on the book. Reading the title, her eyes squeezed shut and she could only laugh. Of course.
‘Henrietta’s Adventures in Amazementworld,’ had the traditional Alice in the blue dress following a white animal in a waistcoat with a pocket watch, but this Alice – Henrietta – had curly brown hair like Kitty’s own. Kitty could see Ororo’s interest in it, Henrietta was not the white girl her own universe’s Alice was, but a pretty young brown girl, her white socks peeking out from the baby blue dress she wore.
She opened the book and the first illustration was one of Henrietta reading a slim volume in a windowsill, the weather behind her dark and foreboding but the fireside in front of her cozy and warm looking. Kitty did feel better with the book in her hands. She felt just as out of place as Alice herself, who would yet still be out of place in Henrietta’s world. It was understandable then, to feel some discomfort when in such a new place. If Alice struggled, then it was understandable she would too.
Flipping through the illustrations she could see that Henrietta made friends throughout her adventures. The white rat with the pocket watch stayed with her in her meeting the King of Spades. Kitty could appreciate the sentiment, her friends certainly helped ease the situation. When she wasn’t tired of being stuck with them.
That was unfair. She was tired of being around Brian, really. Rachel was her best gal-pal, and Meggan was… Meggan. Kurt was her best friend, hands down. He was there for her whenever she needed him, his solid presence always comforting.
“Kätzchen?“ He really had a sixth sense for when she was feeling needy for a little comfort. Kitty felt so thankful for him, suddenly. He was peering around the door frame, smiling at her. His smile lit up his face. She knew that he had different smiles for each person on the team, a playful one for Rachel, a soft one for Meggan, just about none for Brian, but the one she usually saw pointed in her way always made her feel good. As Kurt walked into the room she was in, his smile grew slightly confused, although it didn’t diminish. “What are you doing in here?”
“Oh, I decided to stay and rest a bit while everyone kept going. I’m just tired. Look at the book Ororo gave me, isn’t this hilarious?” She handed him the volume as he sat next to her.
He took it slowly and opened it, scanning the pages. “It looks so different in Englisch. I don’t remember it very well, honestly.” He handed it back to her. “I didn’t know it was a story you liked.”
“Usually I’m not super into fantasy books,” she crinkled her nose at him. Despite having her own personal pet dragon, her love of sci-fi was well known.
“Ah so, and what a shame!” He laughed, leaning in a bit closer. “With fantasy, anything is possible! When I was a boy I named my swords after my favorite characters, and Stefan and I would play sword fight all the time.” He shook his head ruefully, “it was Stefan’s idea that I take the third sword with my tail, he was full of good ideas like that.”
Kitty also laughed. It felt good, just the two of them, while everyone else was on the tour. She wasn’t sure why Kurt had come back early, but it felt good to sit with him. She hadn’t realized, but this was just what she had been needing, some time alone with her best friend.
He must have caught her happy sigh, as he tucked his arm around her and pressed his nose into her hair. “Feel’s good to take a moment off your feet, ja? Seems like you’re always up and about making things easier for other people. It’s your turn now.”
“Yeah, I… thanks,” Kitty felt a little flustered. Kurt’s usual showing of support wasn’t so physical, he certainly would hug her, or pat her back or touch her arm, but never sustained. Kurt was always the gentleman about physical affection, but had seemed to hold back after everything with Meggan had played out. Maybe he was feeling more confident again, or just somehow knew what Kitty needed, like he had known to come back into their temporary room. The signs of affection were doing their part to put her further at ease, his warmth doing wonders for her soul. His thumb gently rubbed her shoulder, and she could feel his slow breathing against her side.
“Although why here begs the question,” he squeezed her shoulders with affection. “How are you feeling? You know what they say, you have to take time to adjust to all these changes.”
“Uhm, yeah,” she looked up at his face smiling down at her. She hadn’t really noticed before the dimple in his smile or how high his cheekbones seemed to be. A sudden thought occurred to her… she hadn’t really noticed how handsome Kurt was before. To be fair, she hadn’t really ever been this close to his face before either. He was her friend, and she had spent so many hours looking at his face, his strong arms and hands, keeping his team safe. She’d seen him laughing and joking, or serious when they would plan together how to save the world. He carried so much on his wide shoulders, but it was hard to tell that at times with how he constantly smiled. Well, she realized, he constantly smiled at her.
Her brain felt like it was going a mile a minute, realizing belatedly all the times she had seen him before he had noticed her, and the smile that blossomed when he had. She’d seen him joking with Rachel on many an occasion, then throw his arms open to hug her when she arrived. He never threw his arms around Rachel. Although, to be fair, she didn’t either. Rachel no longer wore her spiked Hound outfit, but something about the way she carried herself denoted a bit of spike regardless of what she was wearing.
“Are you sure you’re doing well?” Kurt cocked his head to the side.
“Yeah, I am.” Kitty pushed down the thoughts. “I’m just tired. Too many changes, you’re right. Nothing really feels familiar right now. I’m glad I got stuck with you,” she teased.
Right on cue he barked out a laugh. “Stuck with! Stuck with?? You chose this, don’t forget.” Laughing and shaking his head he disentangled his arm from around her. A barb of disappointment shot through Kitty, but she strangled it before it grew into something she would need to acknowledge. His hand fell just above her knee, and he pulled her leg up closer. “Hand me your foot, I know just what will help. Stuck with…” his head shaking he let out a happy laugh. She had chosen the superhero lifestyle, it was true. She supposed unknown jaunts through space time were just part and parcel of that.
Not quite knowing what to anticipate, she allowed him to grasp a foot and start kneading. She forgot sometimes quite how strong he was, silly as that was, since she knew he’d been an acrobat for a long time before joining the X-men. Even missing two fingers, his hands were skillful, one hand massaging her arch, and the other steadying her ankle. One finger had inadvertently started stroking the inside of her calf as he held her steady, just north of where her ankle bone jutted out. She could feel her own heat rising.
He accidentally popped her pinky toe and she gasped. Kurt’s eyebrows shot up and he looked at her. A slow smile spread again across his face. “Seems like you really needed this. Hand me your other foot.”
Kitty wordlessly leaned back a bit on the couch to maneuver her other foot into his capable hands. As he massaged her, she allowed herself to sink into the arm of the couch until she was nearly laying down. Her curls fanned over the back of the couch as her eyes drifted shut. It felt so good, she had simply had no idea. She’d never had a foot massage, ever. She hadn’t thought that something so simple would help her relax so much. All thought of how they had been racing through different universes, never knowing if they stood on friendly ground or not dissipated under his caresses. She sighed deeply, very comfortable and at ease.
Kitty could hear Kurt cluck under his breath at her as he massaged her feet and ankles. She felt ready to sleep, more comfortable than she had been in a long time. It was so pleasant to be here with Kurt, no words were needed. Anyone else it may have been weird, this moment, but he was just so at ease, relaxed, that she couldn’t help but feel comfortable.
Kurt seemed to sense she needed some sleep, as he gently let go of her feet and laid her legs across his lap. She felt his hand brush her knee, then his hips shift further back into the couch to give her more room to lay out. Distantly, at the edge of her consciousness, she felt him lean in next to her, slide his hand under her neck. His warmth next to her became yet more noticeable, and he placed his free hand on her stomach, just under her bellybutton. His thumb stroked her belly as she opened her eyes again to see his face much closer to her own.
It was unexpected, but not unpleasant. Maybe this was just the German way to help someone relax? No, that was ridiculous. He was coming on to her.
“Now tell me truthfully,” his face had dipped to nuzzle her neck so that he couldn’t see her wide-eyed reaction to his physical affections. “How are you both, really?” The kiss on her cheek was chaste enough, but feeling his long lean body pressed against hers made her head swim. He was soft, pliant against her, but hard and sleek underneath. His breath at her neck made her hair shift, becoming ticklish.
His words sluggishly caught up to her. “Both?”
“Oh my god!”
Kurt bolted upright, looking towards the doorway. Alternate Kitty stood there by herself, hands over her mouth, guffawing. Kurt’s head twisted in between the Kitty under him and the one in the doorway, confusion clear on his face.
“Was im Himmel?” Kurt backed off of Kitty further, taking himself to the opposite end of the couch as she could only lie there with her palms up innocently. She felt stupefied.
“Kurt, I am so, so sorry,” Alternate Kitty was gulping back laughter. “That noise in the garden, did you not hear it? I can’t believe, I was trying to call you, but you didn’t answer. There was a breach, alternate versions of ourselves came through, Ororo and I were just getting them settled. I thought you knew!”
Kitty burned under Alternate Kurt’s stare. Her whole body felt hot and uncomfortable.
“Was? Alternate, huh? I thought…” Alternate Kurt again looked between the two Kittys. He glanced back at Kitty as he threw his leg over the arm of the couch and hoisted himself off of it and away from her. “Entschuldigung. I am so sorry, I am so, so sorry.”
Kitty could only mumble “’s ok,” and ran her fingers through her hair so that it shielded her face.
“Me too,” Alternate Kitty reached for her, but she sat up and pulled her hands out of the way. “I didn’t know he didn’t know.”
“It’s ok,” Kitty said in a slightly stronger voice. “I didn’t realize he wasn’t my Kurt either.”
At that she picked up the blanket that had been dislodged in her accidental cuddling with Alternate Kurt, and fled behind one of the doors behind her. She shut it, pressed her back against it and slid to the floor, her head in her hands. Faintly she could hear both Alternate Kitty and Alternate Kurt speaking in the background.
“-who she was.”
“I know, darling, it was my fault. I thought you knew.”
“I just saw you, her, sitting there, looking so alone. I couldn’t bear to see you like that.”
“I know, really. That’s something I love about you.”
“Und Ich liebe dich.”
There was a moment of silence, Kitty could only imagine it as Alternate Kurt kissed her alternate self, his soft lips pressed against her own. Tears leaked from her eyes, she wasn’t sure why. The tears ramped up, trickling between the fingers clamped over her eyes. Sobbing, Kitty flung herself onto the twin bed in the room and buried her face in the pillow.
Too much had happened, too much to think about. Kitty let herself sob and fell asleep on her stomach, the ghost of Kurt’s touch lingering on her.