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Quinn wakes up with her neck in an uncomfortable position and she groans quietly while stretching her limbs. All the girls and Kurt are sprawled all over the room; Tina and Mercedes on the bed and Santana using Brittany’s stomach as a pillow as they’re both on the floor. Quinn fell asleep without wanting to in the chair and she stands up with difficulty to stretch her legs and arms. They must have all fallen asleep trying to come up with a song and she can’t help but notice the only one who isn’t there is Rachel. She’s probably still on her date with Finn. The only reason she knows they’re out together is because Sam told her and honestly, she almost wishes he didn’t tell her.
She doesn’t care that Finn broke up with her. She never even really liked him in the first place, the only reason she was with him was because it was easy and what was expected of her. She never expected this tiny jewish teenager to come into the mix and mess everything up. She doesn’t even know why she was still trying to pry Finn away from Rachel. Maybe she just doesn’t want Finn to have Rachel.
If she can’t have her, neither can he.
It’s laughable, really. The big scary head cheerleader falling for the loser of the school. It’s almost too ironic for Quinn’s liking. She should have seen it coming, she should have been prepared for the sudden realization that this has always been about Rachel. Not Finn.
She should have known the stalkerish obsession, the heart racing whenever she was near, the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach whenever she saw Rachel and Finn together was because she liked the girl, not hated her.
It’s all irrelevant, anyways. Because Finn is trying to get Rachel back and she’s gonna accept because for some reason, she’s convinced the two of them belong together. What a joke. Anyone with eyes could see how dysfunctional the two of them are together. Rachel was made for New York and Finn was destined to be a small town boy. The diva shouldn’t even have a doubt in her mind but somehow, the boy got into her mind and convince her he was as important as New York.
Finn Hudson. More important than New York. As if.
Quinn sighs and decides that with Rachel out in the streets with Finn at her arm, she won’t be able to get more sleep; especially if she doesn’t find a real bed soon. She grabs her bag and pulls out Sam’s copy of The Shining that he had loaned her and slips out of the room. It’s past 11 PM so there shouldn’t be too many people in the lobby of the hotel right now. She takes the stairs down and finds a comfortable little couch to settle on. She opens her book but it doesn’t take too long before her thoughts go back to Rachel once again.
It’s really late and even though the diva belongs on the streets of New York, it doesn’t make it any less dangerous for teenagers. Stupid Finn and his stupid power over Rachel to convince her to do stupid stuff. The brunette should be in their hotel room right now either sleeping or actually writing the song that there supposed to be writing, not out there wandering with Finn.
She eventually gets into the book because she’s at a particularly interesting part when she feels a hand on her shoulder and she jumps in surprise and looks up with wide eyes. Rachel is looking at her with a worried expression, like Quinn is gonna snap at her for scaring her.
“Hey. Sorry, I just saw you and wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Quinn runs her fingers through her hair to calm her racing heart. She knew Rachel didn’t mean to scare her but she was reading a horror book so a hand on her shoulder for her practically meant she was about to get murdered.
“It’s fine, you just-- you just took me by surprise,” Quinn breathes out and Rachel seems to ease a little bit and tries a small smile. The blonde looks around and when her eyes don’t find the tall quarterback, she frowns and Rachel must notice because she explains it casually.
“I told him to go upstairs while I checked for you.”
That suddenly makes Quinn more nervous. She discreetly wipes her hands on her dress before they start to get sweaty and nods.
“Oh okay. Did you-- Was it fun?”
Rachel smiles a dreamy smile that makes Quinn feel a tug in her stomach, “Yeah. I met Patti LuPone.”
Quinn’s eyes widens, “Holy-- Rachel, that’s amazing,” she says and she doesn’t even notice she said the girl’s first name before the diva seems to brighten at that.
“Yeah. Best night of my life.”
Quinn swallows, “Good for you. Really that’s great.” This jealousy is stupid honestly and she hates herself for it. She hates herself for feeling this way about Rachel when the girl only has eyes for Finn and she hates that she can’t seem to be able to move on from something she never had in the first place.
They were never an option. It just wouldn’t work. She’s Quinn Fabray and this is Rachel Berry. Life just doesn’t work out that way, at least not for Quinn.
“What are you reading?” Rachel asks in an interested voice and the blonde shows her the cover and Rachel frowns when she sees the title. “Isn’t it a little bit too late to read scary stuff?”
“I’m okay with it.”
The diva gets a small smile on her face, “Right. That’s why you jumped at least 5 feet up when I touched your shoulder.” Quinn goes in to retort but she just closes her mouth and chuckles a little which seems to make the smaller girl pleased. “Come on. It’s late, let’s go to bed,” Rachel says and the blonde doesn’t even hesitate before getting up to follow the girl.
They wait in silence for the elevator and when it opens, they both make a move to go in at the same time and Quinn stops in her track and gestures awkwardly at Rachel to go in first which makes the diva let out a small melodic laugh.
Quinn is so fucking screwed.
Rachel pushes the button to the fourth floor and Quinn goes in the farthest corner from Rachel and closes her eyes to forget that she’s currently in a small space with her crush.
It sounds so pathetic saying crush, like Rachel is merely someone Quinn finds pretty when she’s not just that. She’s more like the girl that lives in her daydreams 24/7 and whose voice makes Quinn feel genuine happiness and whose smile lights up the dark in the blonde’s mind.
What’s the word for that?
Rachel is humming to herself to probably fill the silence until the elevator makes a noise that drowns out Rachel’s song and the floor Quinn is standing on starts to shake. She grips the railings tightly and shuts her eyes and then everything stops moving. It’s not going up anymore, the elevator is completely still.
“Quinn,” Rachel’s voice says and it sounds shaky a little.
The blonde opens her eyes and looks at Rachel, already feeling her heart beat faster with fear. “Please don’t tell me we’re stuck,” she pleads and she doesn’t care how pathetic she sounds. This is her worst nightmare.
Rachel just swallows and presses the button with the 4 on it a couple of times before sighing and pressing the emergency button. After a couple of rings, someone answers and Rachel’s voice starts speaking, “yeah, it seems like the elevator has stopped working. My friend and I are stuck.”
Stuck. They’re stuck.
Is it getting more hot in here? She closes her eyes again and sits down, bringing her knees to her chin. Rachel is busy having a conversation with the person on the other line but Quinn can’t hear her over the loud sound of her heartbeat in her ears. She rests her forehead on her knees and tries to take a deep breath but it’s like there’s no more air. God, is someone sucking the air out of the room right now?
She opens her eyes but she instantly regrets it when she notices just how small the elevator is. Has it always been this small? Is it getting smaller? It feels like the walls are closing in on her.
“Quinn?”
She shuts her eyes and digs her fingernails in her calves but the pain doesn’t distract her enough.
“Quinn, are you okay?”
She can’t breathe. She’s gonna run out of oxygen soon she’s pretty sure of that. It’s like her lungs have forgotten how to let her breathe. Or did she ever learn how to? At this moment, she’s not even sure she even learned how to breathe.
“Quinn, please.”
She tangles her hands in her hair and she pulls on it. Hard. Just to distract herself from the fact that she’ll probably end up squashed between these walls as they close in on her. She feels cold shivers all over her back but she’s also really really hot at the same time..
Hands grab onto her shoulders and she looks up in surprise but she can’t quite see who’s looking at her with tears blurring her vision.
“Hey Quinn, it’s Rachel. Rachel Berry. You’re okay.”
Oh right, she’s here with Rachel. A soft hand wipes tears off her cheek and she finally focuses on brown eyes, her chest heaving up and down.
“You’re okay, just look at me, okay? It’s just you and me.”
Yeah, that doesn’t help her calm down. She makes a garbled noise and she tries to take a breath but nothing seems to work. How the hell does someone breathe? Her eyes look away and oh God, now she’s sure the elevator got smaller. Rachel takes a hold of her face and locks eyes with her.
“You’re gonna breathe with me, okay? Here, just follow my lead.”
She can do that. Rachel inhales deeply through her nose and holds it for five seconds before exhaling slowly through her mouth. Quinn looks at her with wide eyes as she tries to mimic Rachel’s doing because that seems to be how a person breathes. Rachel keeps her hands on her cheeks, a thumb reaching out from time to time to wipe a tear, but she stays focused on her hazel eyes and just keeps on inhaling and exhaling until Quinn manages to do the same a couple of minutes later.
“That’s right, keep doing that. Concentrate on your breathing,” the diva says in a soft voice and Quinn finds herself wanting to keep doing it so she can make Rachel proud .
She inhales through her nose and holds it for five seconds before exhaling through her mouth and she feels her lungs expands as they finally remember how to function again. Her heart hurts as it thumps hard against her sternum but she just keeps on breathing, because now that she finally figured out how to, she doesn’t have any desire to stop.
Rachel keeps breathing with her, like she’s proving they’re in this together. Rachel wipes another tear and then smiles, “Good job” she says sweetly and it makes Quinn blush and she tries to look away but Rachel holds her steady, “Hey, just stay focused on me, okay?”
Well, Quinn’s not going to say no to that. But her throat is dry and she doesn’t remember how to speak right now so she just nods and Rachel smiles, not taking her hands off Quinn’s cheeks. She can’t tell if her heart is still racing from the attack or Rachel’s proximity.
“They’re going to come as soon as they can, they just have to wake up the mechanic since it is pretty late. Shouldn’t be more than an hour. I tried texting Kurt but there’s no signal and I’m pretty sure he’s sleeping anyways.”
Quinn nods and closes her eyes, head resting against the wall. She feels completely exhausted now and the realization that she had a panic attack in front of Rachel Berry is starting to embarrass her a whole lot.
“I have claustrophobia,” Quinn suddenly says, surprising Rachel and herself at the same time. So she does remember how to speak. “I just… I don’t like feeling trapped.”
“That’s perfectly reasonable, Quinn. Plenty of people deal with claustrophobia, it’s a very valid fear. Humans aren’t made to be in small spaces.”
She makes a sound but the words get stuck in her throat when Rachel moves her hands aways. She tries to keep her face passive but she already mourns the loss of contact until a hand starts caressing her hair and she opens her eyes in surprise. Rachel’s eyes are focused on her hair like she’s trying to fix the mess that Quinn made when she pulled on it. Then, she seems to realize what she’s doing and blushes, taking her hand away.
“How-- How did you know how to deal with…” The blonde trails off, trying to fill the heavy silence.
“Panic attacks?” Rachel says and she smiles sympathetically when Quinn flinches at the term, “I get them too sometimes and that’s how my dads help me overcome them.”
Quinn blinks, “ You get panic attacks?”
“Yeah,” Rachel breathes out, “And you don’t seem like the type to get them either, Quinn” she says playfully but it just makes Quinn grow red in embarrassment.
“Yeah, it’s… embarrassing, I don’t know.”
Rachel instantly shakes her head with a frown, “It’s not. Are you okay?”
Quinn takes a deep breath, focusing on the diva’s face to make sure she doesn’t send herself into another panic, “Yeah. Just-- can you distract me? And if you want-- if you want you can... you know, play with my hair again or whatever,” she says awkwardly. She can’t believe the words coming out of her mouth but Rachel’s hand in her hair had really calmed her down and that’s what she needs right now. The diva gets a sweet smile on her face, like she doesn’t think it’s weird at all and she reaches out. As soon as the hand tangles in blonde locks, Quinn closes her eyes and relaxes.
Maybe that’s one of the reason why Quinn couldn’t help but fall for her. Because even though they’re not even technically friends right now and Quinn has always been a huge bitch to her, Rachel is the kind of girl who wouldn’t hesitate before doing what she can to make the blonde feel better.
“What’s your favorite color?” Rachel says and Quinn lets out a laugh but plays along.
“Blue. You?”
“Pink. But like… a soft pink. What’s your favorite book?”
“Alice in Wonderland.”
“I like that one.” Rachel says, absently pulling on a knot in Quinn’s hair. “Mine’s Wicked.”
Quinn chuckles a little, “I could have seen that coming.”
“Finn tried to kiss me tonight,” Rachel blurts out and when Quinn opens her eyes in shock, Rachel looks like she didn’t mean to say it.
“Tried?” Quinn ends up saying after a few seconds of silence.
“Yeah,” Rachel says, a pensive look on her face, “I’m still confused about… everything, I guess. You guys just broke up.”
“I don’t--” Quinn clears her throat, “I don’t have feelings for him, Rachel.” I have feelings for you. How pathetic is that?
“It’s just… New York or him, I guess.”
Quinn resists the urge to groan and lets herself relax under the feel of Rachel’s hand before speaking up. She tries to go over this as calmly as she can, “That’s stupid.”
Well. That wasn’t the plan.
The hand stops in shock and Rachel drops it on her own lap. Quinn sits up straighter, “Rachel, I know right now Finn seems like everything to you, but he’s not. Look, take this coming from the girl that also dated him. Finn has his good moments but at the end of the day, he doesn’t hold a candle to you.”
“T- To me?”
“Yes,” Quinn says sincerely, “Finn is… Lima. Sure he’s cozy and you know what’s going to happen with him everyday because it’s easy . But people like you outgrow people like him. You’re not a girl that does things easy, Rachel. You’re New York. You’re full of life and everyday is a new experience with you and it’s exciting and it inspires people. You’re the brightest star of us all and you belong here. Not here in this shitty elevator in this shitty hotel, but you belong on the stage of Broadway where one day a teenager will also go to their friend and say “Tonight I met Rachel Berry and it was the best night of my life.” God, look at you Rachel, you’re a star and the whole world’s going to fall in love with you. I’m--” she cuts herself off because she realizes she’s been talking for too long and before she says something she completely regrets.
Rachel looks at her for a long time, like she’s waiting to see if Quinn will start laughing and tell her this has all been a joke but the blonde’s face stays neutral.
“You mean that?” Rachel says, her voice soft.
“Of course I do. You’ve always been bigger than Lima. Look for me, if I play my cards right then sure, I might be able to get out but with you… it’s written in the stars.”
It’s why she couldn’t help but fall for her. Rachel inspires Quinn every day by proving that even though they were born here, it doesn’t mean they have to stay here. They’ll both get out of this town eventually, Quinn is sure of it.
“What if I don’t get into NYADA?” Rachel says with a voice laced with insecurity.
“Nonsense,” Quinn automatically answers.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I’m--” she cuts herself off. What the hell is she even going to say there? Don’t even think about it, Quinn.
“Because you’re what?” Rachel says with hurry and Quinn notices for the first time how close they are.
Rachel’s looking at her with big brown eyes that the blonde has always appreciated so much. They hold so much vulnerability and strength in them at the same time and Quinn admires that. They’re close enough that she can smell Rachel’s strawberry shampoo and God, she smells really good. She already knew that from the handful of times they had hugged but smelling it right here as they’re trapped together in this tiny space-- Okay, stop thinking about that before another panic attack comes along. Focus on Rachel.
“I’m just…” Quinn says, her mouth dries up as her gaze falls on Rachel’s lips.
“Quinn, you're what?”
They look so soft, like they’d fit perfectly in between Quinn’s lips.
“I’m sorry,” she says not being able to tear her eyes away from the girl’s mouth.
“Sorry? For what?”
“For this.”
Rachel’s confusion is clear in her face when Quinn leans in and before she can even realize how bad of an idea this is, she closes the distance between them. As soon as Quinn’s lips touch Rachel’s, the first thing she thinks about is I knew it . The lips are as soft as she thought they would be. The fact that Rachel is not kissing back doesn’t mean the butterflies in her stomach are not going crazy but she also knows that continuing the kiss without Rachel’s consent is a dick move. She pulls away and the diva is looking at her with wide eyes and Quinn feels the rejection deeply. Why the fuck did she just do that? That was so fucking stupid.
“I’m-- fuck-- I shouldn’t have--”
Rachel grabs the back of her neck and pulls her back into a kiss and Quinn takes half a second before realizing what’s going on and she shuts her eyes and kisses back. She’s actually kissing Rachel Berry. The diva seems to be trying to prove something in the kiss because she’s not taking it slow and barely lets Quinn a chance to open her mouth before she deepens the kiss.
Quinn lets out a whimper in the kiss and she’s afraid it’ll scare Rachel away but it seems to have the opposite away because the brunette tugs on Quinn’s hair in the most delicious way, like she’s trying to pull another sound out of Quinn. It works and the blonde gets lost in the kiss and loses control of her hands who travel to Rachel’s waist and pulls her even closer, so that she’s almost straddling Quinn’s lap. Rachel's lips against hers are soft and God, it's like they were made to be between Quinn's. She desperately needs air at this point but there's no way Quinn will ever voluntarily pull away from Rachel Berry's kiss. She's not sure she's ever felt so good before in her entire life.
“Hey, you guys still good in there?” the intercom suddenly calls out and they both pull away in shock. Rachel scrambles to her feet and smoothes out her dress.
“Yes,” Rachel says pressing on the button so they can hear her.
“Alright, the guys are here. You guys should be free in a couple of minutes.”
Quinn stands up too and looks at the floor like it’s the most interesting thing she’s ever seen. She can still feel the shadow of Rachel’s lips on hers and it’s almost making her dizzy. She’s pretty sure she has a dopey smile on her face right now but she couldn’t be sure.
“Okay. Thank you,” Rachel quietly says and Quinn looks up to lock eyes with her. They both have no idea how to act now.
Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry kissing wasn’t a thing that was supposed to happen.
But it did.
And Quinn isn’t sure how she’s supposed to pretend anymore that she doesn’t want to do it again. Now that she knows what Rachel tastes like, she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to stop craving her.
What are they supposed to do now?
Before Quinn can even figure out what to say, the doors are suddenly pried open and they find out that they’re in the middle of the two floors. A guy bends down so he can look at them and reaches a hand, “Alright girls, grab my hand.”
Rachel seems to hesitate and then takes his hand and he pulls her up in the opening that he created. Quinn watches intently and she almost gets scared that the elevator will suddenly decide to move again and Rachel will be split in half but none of that happen and then it’s her turn to get out.
She’s pretty sure her eyes look puffy and red but nobody seems to even notice it and she’s thankful for that. Rachel has a quick conversation with one of the workers as Quinn stands in the background awkwardly. What’s going to happen to them? Rachel likes Finn, right? She doesn’t even want to entertain the idea that this could mean something.
She decides it’s best if she just lets it go right now and there’s no point sticking around here. She nods at the guy who pulled her up as a thank you and starts heading towards her room because all she wants is to fall asleep right now and maybe even never wake up.
“Quinn, wait!” she hears from behind her after she’s walked a few feet and Rachel catches up to her in a jog. The blonde hesitates but stops walking and the diva looks at her and she seems to get lost in thoughts and then she shakes her head and smiles with the corner of her mouth, “I’m not-- I’m not going to be able to sleep just yet.”
Quinn exhales, “Yeah, me neither but we should--”
“Let’s try to write this song together once and for all,” Rachel interrupts her.
Quinn gazes into chocolate-colored eyes for a moment and then returns the soft smile.
“Okay.”