Chapter Text
Pregnant. There it was on the little screen with a pink line right beside it. Sitting in the stall in womens bathroom in the Science building Rey’s worst nightmare came true. She didn’t want to have kids. Hell, she wasn’t cut out for kids. Parents were a luxury that she didn’t even have. How was she supposed to raise a baby? Not just a baby, but a Kylos baby. Things between them were rocky to say the least. But bringing a baby into their mess of a relationship was almost laughable. She knew that she would leave if she could. But she couldn't, she didn’t have anywhere to go. Working as a waitress at the diner on 4th street made her just enough to cover her student loans, phone bill, and school supplies and fees. Any extra went for when she got to slip away for a couple hours with her friends for coffee or lunch.
Shoving her thoughts aside, she stood from the stall floor wrapping the test in toilet paper and tucking it in the very bottom of her backpack. Kylo would be there soon to pick her and take her to Santa Maz where she was meeting her friends for dinner. Honestly she was in shock when he offered to drive her. They have been together for two years and have lived together in his condo on the west side of town for half of it, but taking her somewhere when he was going to be there was a rarity.
Deep down Rey knew that he was only doing it to make sure that she was out of his way tonight since all his snobby work buddies were coming over to play poker and get shitfaced after some dinner party thing. It was funny, considering that she honestly hated drinking ever since her foster father would beat her when he was out of it, that she ended up with someone who got wasted every weekend. She loved him, that's why she stayed with him. Sure things were rough, but he loved her too, right? That's why he fed her, and made sure she had a roof over her head. That was love. It was the only kind of love she knew.
Shaking her head to clear it as she walked out of the double glass doors. She looked around the lot, but didn’t see Kylos black Range Rover anywhere. The time on her phone said 5:08pm. He was supposed to pick her up at five so he was already late. She double checked to make sure she didn’t have any messages or phone calls from him. She didn’t but she did have on from Poe Dameron, her best friend.
Flyboy (4:49pm): Hey Star! Can’t wait for dinner tonight! Hope your test went good in Bio!
Smiling at the message Poe had sent, she hit delete. Kylo sometimes took notions where he would go through her phone and she knew that he would not be happy with Poe just texting her in the middle of the day even if it was harmless. She sighed as she pulled up Kylo's contact in her phone and hit the dial. Where was he? He did a lot of things, but standing her up wasn’t one of them. The phone was picked up on the last ring.
“Hello?,” Kylo stated with a slightly annoyed tone.
“Hey. Where are you? I’m outside the Science Building.”
“Rey, I’m on the freeway. I was there at five like we agreed and you weren’t, so I waited till 5:03 and then left. I just assumed you got one of your friends to come get you or you rode with Rose.” Kylo huffed out.
“Kylo, you know Rose doesn’t have class on Friday. I was in the restroom after class. I’m sorry, but you couldn’t have waited ten minutes? I would have called if plans changed and you know that.” Even as she was saying this she felt the tears starting to burn in her eyes.
“You could have held it, Rey. I don’t know what to tell you. I am already on the freeway and I’m not turning around. I don’t want to be late tonight. You’ll just have to figure something out.” Kylo stated this information matter of factly.
“What am I supposed to do? You won’t let me drive the Honda so I can’t drive myself. And there is no one left at campus.” Her tears were threatening to run over her cheeks now.
“Hell, no. I am not letting you drive my car just so you can total it. Figure it out, Rey. It’s not my problem.” With that he hung up.
Of course, he didn’t care that she was left at her college campus which was miles away from home. Well where she was staying. The last bus runs at four on Fridays so that wasn’t an option. She couldn’t use Uber or Lyft because all of her money was in cash. She had two options left. One call Poe since she knew he got off at five from the tech building he worked at in town. The problem with option one was that if she called Poe then he would ask what happened with Kylo bringing her and that would open a can of worms she didn’t think she could talk about right now especially with the recent news she found out after class. Poe was his best friend and he knew that sometimes things went wrong with Kylo and her, but he never pushed for her to give him answers. Option two was to walk to Santa Maz. This option meant she could lie and say that Kylo just dropped her off a little further away so he could avoid the nonexisting traffic. So option two it was.
She pulled the directions up on her phone for the restaurant and groaned when it said it was going to be a thirty-two minute walk. She was already exhausted from today both physically from how late Kylo kept her up for his version of “fun” and mentally from the test she had to take and the paper she was working on. Lucky for her this was one of the rare weekends where she was off work for three days. Yeah, that meant she wouldn’t have as much money the next week but she could work a double next weekend or something to make up for it she hoped.
Although she was tired she couldn’t help but let her mind wander to the little ball of life that was growing inside of her stomach. She just found out about it and she was already protective over it. Mothers instincts she guesses. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure if Kylo would be happy about her being pregnant. It was honestly an accident. She had gotten the flu about a month ago and had to go to the doctors for Antibiotics. She should have known that it was going to cancel out her birth control, and Kylo didn’t like using condoms even though it made her uncomfortable to not use them for reasons like this and STIs.
But gods know that you don’t tell Kylo what you want sexually. He was very dominant in the bedroom. To the point sometimes that he scared her sometimes, but she didn’t know any other kind of sex since she lost her virginty at twenty to Kylo. She was having to wear a sweatshirt with a thick hood to hide the bruises he put on the back of her neck last night. Those were her fault, she could have said that he was hurting her and he hopefully would have listened, but she didn’t. So now she just had to keep them covered for the next couple days till they paled down. He had never forced himself on her, but when she stated what she didn’t like such as hair being pulled roughly, he just eased up a little and told her to take it. She had never actually told him ‘no’ to sex, but she didn’t think he would keep going, or at least she hoped he wouldn’t.
All she knew was that this baby was hers. No one was going to hurt it and damn well no one was going to abandon it. Sure she didn’t know how to be a mother, but she would figure it out. None of her friends had kids, but she knew that they all would be supportive of at least her and the baby. Rose and Finn didn’t know about the bad times with Kylo and she wanted to keep it that way. Finn had been her friend since high school and was more like a big brother to her and he would definitely not take to how Kylo treats her sometimes. He would be pissed if he knew she was walking to the restaurant even if it was her fault. She shouldn’t have been late. She knew that Kylo was punctual. He nagged her about it all the time even though she was almost never late for anything. Rey was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the black SUV pull up and park on the side of the road until someone stepped out.
“Starlight?,” a familiar voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
She startled from her thoughts and looked up to see Poe standing there in his dress shirt and suit pants with his tie pulled loose at his neck. He was looking at her like she was crazy which was possibly true. He started walking towards her and stopped when he got right in front of her. She looked down at his shiny shoes trying to figure out what excuse or lie to tell him for why she was walking on the side of the road. If her head was in its right space she would have remembered this was the road he took to get to his apartment. She felt a finger go under her chin and pulled her face up to look at him. He was only a couple of inches taller than her but he still crooched a little so they were eye to eye.
“Rey? Did something happen? Are you okay?” Poe asked her and could see the genuine concern in his eyes and the way he furrowed his brow at her.
Her heart warmed at his asking her if she was okay. He was the only person that she knew who asked her that and didn’t want her to just say fine and drop it. He wouldn’t even let her say fine. She had to actually say at least three sentences for how she felt right then and there. He would listen and then ask if she wanted to talk about it. And honestly it was one of things that kept her going on some days. Her and Poe haven’t been able to have a lot of time to just the two of them since her and Kylo got together. Kylo doesn’t like Poe and thinks that she has slept with Poe before, but she hasn't. She used to think about it when they first met and became friends through Finn, but that had died down when Poe had gotten with his then girlfriend Zorri.
She opened her mouth to reply but no sounds came out. She didn’t want to lie to him. They didn’t keep secrets, but she definitely didn’t want to tell him she was pregnant on the side of the road so she opted for a half truth. “Kylo forgot to come get me after class. So I decided to walk to the restaurant.”
“What? He just forgot about you? Why didn’t you call me? Starlight, I would have come and got you.” Poe tucked a piece of hair behind her ear trying to make her continue to make eye contact with him.
“I know, but I thought you would still be at work.” Lie. “It’s not that far and I didn’t want to be a bur-,” her words were cut off when Poe pressed a finger to her lips.
“Don’t finish that sentence. We’ve had this talk you are not a burden to me and even if we didn’t get to leave the office at five on Fridays I would have left early to come and get you, Rey. Now c’mon I know you’re cold. I need to go home and change before we head to the restaurant.”
All she could do was nod. He gave her one of his best smiles before he took her backpack from her and placed a hand on her back guiding her to the passenger side of the car. He opened the door for her like he had done since they first rode in the same car together and then put her bag in the backseat before climbing into the drivers side. He blasted the heat and made sure her seat warmer was on before he took off. She glanced out the window before looking back at him. He was sneaking looks at her waiting for her to talk that much she could tell. As much as she loved Poe, he got on her nerves when he didn’t just say what was on his mind.
“What, Flyboy?” She asked hoping the nickname got him to relax. It didn’t.
“What do you mean what? You know what. I’m just waiting on you to tell me the truth about what really happened with Kylo not picking you up.” He lifted his eyebrow at her.
“Poe…I told you he forgot.”
“Bullshit, Rey. You and I both know that Kylo is a whole lot of things, but he wouldn’t just forget about something like that. And besides you are an awful liar. So come one spill it. You don’t have to talk about it further, but I want the truth at least.”
“Fine, you want the truth?,” she snapped, “He showed up at five like he was supposed to, but after class I had to go to the bathroom and when I came out of the building at 5:08 he wasn’t there. I thought he was held up in traffic, but no he said he waited for me till 5:03 then left cause he couldn’t be late to whatever he is doing tonight. It's my fault. I shouldn’t have taken so long coming out.”
“What?! He just left? He didn’t even tell you? Or hell even give you ten minutes? This was nowhere near your fault. That was an asshole move. How did he expect you to get home if you weren’t meeting us? Your house is like an hour from the campus, Rey.” His knuckles were turning white as they gripped the steering wheel.
“It is my fault. I should have texted him. He thought that I had left with Rose and didn’t tell him. It’s fine though I was just gonna walk to the restaurant and wait for you guys while I worked on my paper. It’s really okay.” She reached out and put her hand on his arm trying to reassure him and it seemed to work since some of his tension seemed to leave his body at the contact.
“Rey, that’s not your fault. He could have waited ten minutes. You shouldn’t have had to tell him you were going to the bathroom. It’s not like you were going to be an hour late. Wait, you were just gonna sit at the restaurant for like an hour? We aren’t having dinner till 6:30?” He looked at her questionaly.
“Well yeah. I was doing that whether Kylo dropped me off or I walked. He had to be wherever at 5:45. I was and am seriously fine.” She huffed a breath hoping he would just drop the topic and move on. She knew that she had to tell him about the baby. Honestly he was the first person she wanted to tell, but it could wait till after dinner at least.
“Rey…” Poe started to say something, but she cut him off.
“Poe, please just drop it. I would have been fine and now I really am fine. I’m with you and I won’t be sitting at the restaurant for an hour and I’m not walking. So I am fine seriously.”
“I will drop it, but only if you promise me something. Promise that the next time Kylo leaves you, or forgets you, or you even just need a ride in general. I don't care what time it is or where you are, that you will call me. I will always come and get you, Starlight. So promise me, like actually promise me and I will let it go….for now.” Poe looked at her when he stopped at the light holding out his pinkie.
It was something they had done since they first met at the diner when Finn brought him to breakfast with her and Rose. She had asked him to give her his sausage (he hates sausage) and he had held up his pinkie and swore to her that he would always and he still does give her his sausage when they have breakfast dates. Instead of switching it for bacon, he just puts it on her plate with a smile. They had pinkie promised a lot of things to each other. Like to always tell the other when one was running towards the edge of a downward spiral, or to at least text one another once a day just to check even if they were going to see each other that day. Poe was a huge part of Reys life and she knew that promising him meant she would never be allowed to walk anywhere again. Because if she did and found out that could possibly ruin their friendship.
She reached out and grabbed his pinkie with hers kissing her thumb while he kissed his.The simple act made her smile, because no matter how bad her life got she always had one consistent person in her life and that was Poe. He turned left at the light and then pulled into his apartment building lot. She had been to his place before, she practically stayed here for a week during her freshman year spring break, but she wasn’t here as much anymore and she knew that was her own doing. She missed the movie nights watching all the Star Wars movies, or the bake offs in his tiny kitchen. Poe walked around and opened her door for her before leading her into the lobby of the building.
“Good evening, Mr. Dameron. I see you brought that pretty girl around again. Hi, Rey! It's been awhile,” Iolo, the security guard greeted them.
Rey blushed at the comment while Poe replied, “Yeah, just gotta get changed before having drinks with friends. Anything come for me today?”
“Not today, sir. Have a good time tonight you two!”
“Bye, Iolo!” Rey said while stepping into the elevator.
Poe pressed the button for the top floor, before leaning against the wall looking at her. “So how was class today? I still can’t believe you had a test already; it's only like a month and a half into the semester, for crying out loud.”
“They were okay. Calculus was a killer, you know how I am with math. But the bio test was really easy. The test was literally our notes, almost verbatim. I think it was really just to see if we were paying attention. Holdo practically told us that much at the beginning of the exam. Which was a good thing since I didn't have a lot of time to study last night.” She laughed.
Poe gave her a look, “Why didn’t you get to study? I’ve known you for almost four years and I have never known you not study your little ass off for a test.”
She then realized what she let slip. Poe already knew how Kylo was when he had a bad day at the office. She had told him a few of the stories, but always down playing it so the pain inflicted wasn’t present in the story. He was the one who told her that rough sex was a normal kink to have, but only if both were comfortable and there was no lasting bruises or cuts. She knew that if she lied to Poe now he would notice. As he said earlier she was an awful liar. “Um, Kylo had a bad day at work yesterday, so ya know how he gets when he has those. And did you just call my ass little?!”
“Starlight, everything about you is little,” he shot back with a wink that made her blush. “And so? You needed to study. He should have known that and respected it. Did you tell him you needed to study?”
Suddenly Rey couldn’t wait to get out of the elevator. She couldn’t hide here or excuse herself from the conversation. Luckily the universe seemed to be on her side as the elevator dinged to alert them they arrived at Poes floor. They stepped out and walked towards the end of the hall. Poes building wasn’t as fancy as Kylos, but she always felt more at home here than at Kylos. Everyone in Kylos building was snobby lawyers or accountants who turned their heads at her when she passed. Poe unlocked the door and the sound of claws hitting the hardwood came from down the hall.
“Where’s my good boy?” Rey called out to the Dalmation who was barreling towards her. She knelt on the floor to avoid being trampled by the giant dog that easily out weighed her. He reached her and put his front paws on her shoulders and licked all over her face while she gave him scratches.
“Be careful, Bee! Rey could easily be broken in half by you, you big beast.” He came over and knelt beside Rey and started scratching his ‘puppy’. Poe watched as Rey smiled bright and cooed at his dog. It had been awhile since she had been in his place and Bee obviously had missed her.
Poe must have been staring at her because she looked over and smiled even brighter before asking if he needed her to take Bee for a walk while he changed. Since she had done it at least fifty times when they first started getting close.
“No, Jannah walked him around 4:00pm according to the fridge chart.” He stood then and offered a hand to Rey. She stood and walked towards the couch and flopped down on it. Poe watched with interest as Rey laid down and put her feet over the back of the couch as Bee laid down next to her with his head on her stomach. His heart squeezed a little when she looked back at him as he got her a pineapple juice out of the fridge and water for himself. Her eyes lit up when she noticed what was in his hand. He popped it open and threw a bendy straw in it knowing full and well she wasn’t going to sit up. He handed her the drink and sat down on the edge of the coffee table across from her.
“You drink pineapple juice now? I thought you hated this stuff?” She said in between sips.
“Oh I do hate that stuff. I don’t know how you drink it, but I keep it around in case you come over. I know it's your favorite.” He shrugged.
“Awee, Flyboy. You don’t have to do that!” Once again his heart beat faster when she gave him that little smile that he could swear was just for him since he had never seen it be given to anyone else.
“I know that I don’t have to, but you’re my best friend and I want you to be comfortable when you come over here, even if it is once and a blue moon.” He smiled back.
Bee started to route his way up Rey's body and that was when his smile faded and faded fast. Rey had reached her free hand out to the push Bee back down a little. That was when he noticed the skin under her hood was smothered in dark, purple bruises on the back of her neck. His blood started to boil because he just knew that Kylo was the one to bruise that beautiful freckled skin of hers. He couldn’t prove it before cause the bruises were alway on her arms or legs and she would just say she fell and it was halfway believable. But there was no way to get those from a fall. He wanted to go find Kylo and rip him into pieces. What made it worse was that Rey never said a word to him about it. She trusts him, right? Do Finn and Rose know? Did she tell them? Does she have more than just those? He must have been staring because she pulls her hoodie a little tighter around her neck.
“Is something wrong?” She asks while cocking her head sideways at him.
“Rey, what happened to your neck?” He tries, he really does, to keep voice and face neutral. But if going by the way she sits up and fidgets her hands are any indication he didn’t do a very good job. “And don’t lie, Rey. Or try to ‘protect’ me like you always try to do. Because from the looks of it you need protecting”
“Poe, it’s fine really. I’m fine.” She wouldn’t meet his eyes instead focusing all her attention on Bees fur.
“Rey, that doesn’t answer my question. What happened? Don’t make me go ask Kylo, because I will and we both know how that will go.” It would go exceptionally bad considering Kylo hates him, and he wants to beat the shit out of the monkey who hurt his Starlight.
“No! You can’t do that, Poe!” She practically jumped in the air while gasping out her response.
Poe reached out and took one of her hands. “I won’t if you tell me what happened.”
“He didn’t hit me if that's what you think. You know that he had the a rough day yesterday and you also know that sometimes when he has those he likes to uh….fuck through the tension.” She pulls her hand away to chew on her nails. A habit he had noticed when they met, but it got worse when she met Kylo.
“Okay???” He drawls. “What does that…”
Then it clicks into place. Rey had told him when Kylo and her started having sex. Kylo likes it rough, too rough to be precise. Rey had confided in him instead of Finn, who she said was too much like a big brother to her, and Rose, because she would have to explain that she was a virgin. A fact that he learned when they got drunk together the first time. She had cried the next day afraid that he would laugh at her for being a virgin since he was a good seven years older than her. He hadn’t obviously, and thats how he come to know that the second time Kylo and Rey had sex Kylo had pulled her hair so that it made her hair follicles bleed. Kylo must have taken his frustrations out on Rey last night. She had told him that she explained to Kylo she didn’t like it rough like that and that he had eased off.
It fumes Poe to know that Kylo placed those bruises on her neck during a time when she was more valuable than normal. Rey deserved to be worshipped like the goddess he knows she is. She deserves so much better than Kylo, but she can’t see that for herself. Poe wishes that he could make her look in the mirror and see what he sees in her, but he can’t so he tells her...most of the time.
“Did you tell him to stop?” He asks when she doesn’t say anything. He knows that she knows he figured it out.
“I….I told him to ease up. He did, I swear, Poe, he did. But it was too late. I bruise easy is all.” A lie. He had seen her after one of her soccer games freshman year when she got hit in the stomach with a ball going faster than light and she didn’t bruise then.
“Let me see them, Rey. Let me see the bruises.”
“What? Why? Why do you need to see them?” She stammers looking like a deer in headlights.
“Because I need to put some of the medicine on them to get them to fade and the pain to eb down and I need to see how bad they are. Rey, he shouldn’t have done that. You should have told him to stop, not ease up. And I swear to every God out there if you told him to stop and he didn’t I will kill him.” Poe is vibrating with rage and Rey can tell.
“I didn’t tell him to stop. I just said ease up and he did. I really am fine.” She leaves out the part where if she would have said no, Kylo would have probably fucked her anyway and probably gave her a few other bruises. She also doesn’t tell him that when she said ease up Kylo let up a little then told her to take it like the slut she was. But Poe doesn’t need to know that.
“I know, Rey. I know you are okay. You are so, so strong. But will you please let me look at them and put some medicine on them? If anything it will make them less sore which I know they are.” He pleads at her with chocolate brown eyes.
She doesn’t answer him. Instead twist her fingers in her lap then sighs before sitting up and grabbing the top of her sweatshirt and pulling it over her head. He still can’t see all the bruises due to her Blink182 shirt, but he can tell they go down her neck and onto the tops of her shoulders. She turns so she is sitting crossed legs with her front to the back of the couch. She nods her head to let him know that he can touch her.
Poe scoots forward so he can grab the back of her shirt and pull it to see dark purple bruises that run down the back and sides of her neck and onto her shoulders. He is lucky that he even noticed them, most wouldn’t since her shirt and her low bun covers a lot of it. He winces when he notices the almost black spots in the thick of the bruises.
“Oh, Starlight. Why did you let him do this?” he whispers.
“You know he likes it rough, P. I’m okay really.” She whispers back even though they are the only two in the apartment.
“This isn’t rough, Rey. This is borderline abuse. This is wrong. I get liking it rough, hell I like it rough sometimes. But no bruises should ever be left like this.” He skims his fingertips across the bruises wishing he could take them away.
Rey swallows hard. She knows that she has to tell him. She needs to tell someone. She can feel Poe's eyes on her as she turns around. She takes a deep breath, “Flyboy, I need to tell you something. I’m telling you this because you are my best friend and I need to tell someone. So when I say this please remember that I haven’t really processed it all the way myself.”
Poe nodded and kept eye contact over her shoulder as he watched her take a few deep breaths through her nose. What could be so bad that she was having to steel herself. And then she said it. It was like a bomb was dropped in his apartment and all he could hear was that sentence over and over again.
“I’m pregnant.”