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"Miyoshi-san!"
The voice echoed across the empty hallway, accompanied with quick steps fast approaching Kazunari.
"T-Tsuzuru-san! Why are you looking for me after school?" he quickly asked, his voice cracking a bit.
"Are you busy? Let's hangout at the rooftop together!"
Kazunari thought about it for a bit and started mumbling to himself, and the only thing Tsuzuru understood was "... Are we even close friends?"
"Huh? Of course we're close, Miyoshi-san! So, what do you say?" Tsuzuru asked once more.
"O-of course!" he replied, with a sparkle of excitement in his eyes that no one else has seen before.
With that, the two boys made their way to the rooftop of the school as quick as possible. They raced each other to see who could get there first, so once they reached the top they immediately toppled over trying to catch more air.
"I-I d-definitely won, Tsuzuru-s-san," Kazunari said in between deep breaths as he tried regaining his composure; a huge smile plastered on his face.
Tsuzuru, however, has already settled somewhere and patted the spot next to him for Kazunari to come over. "Let's have a picnic!" he excitedly declared as he laid his handkerchief on the floor.
"What will we be eating though? I already finished my bento earlier during lunch," Kazunari asked as he sat down next to his friend.
"Of course, I'll be providing a meal for my wonderful guest! I came prepared!" Tsuzuru proudly took out two food containers. When he opened the boxes, the strong smell of spices hit them immediately.
"I hope you like curry. It's... all I can afford," Tsuzuru explained in a shy tone. With a small smile, he handed one of the containers to Kazunari.
"Thank you, Tsuzuru-san. Why did you call me here though?" he asked as he took a bite of the curry. The flavors came off just as strong as the scent was, and when he swallowed, his throat burned. It tasted amazing for a supposedly cheap meal as implied by Tsuzuru.
"I hadn't talked with you the rest of the week because I was so busy! I wanted to make it up to you today," Tsuzuru explained as he took his own bite. His eyes widened in surprise at the taste, then immediately ate a few more spoonfuls rapidly.
"You really don't have to, Tsuzuru-san. But thank you for this, I really appreciate the effort." Tsuzuru thought he caught a slight blush on Kazunari's cheeks, but he brushed it off as an effect of the setting sun.
"Oh this is nothing. And you don't have to be so formal with me, it makes it feel like we're not close at all! Why don't you give me a nickname instead so you can be a bit comfortable around me?"
"... A nickname?"
"Yes! Maybe that's the push you need to stop treating me like a stranger. Close friends do have nicknames for each other, after all! I'll call you…” Tsuzuru put his hand on his chin, as if deep in thought.
After a few moments, his face lit up. “Miyo!” Tsuzuru announced proudly. Kazunari seemed a bit flustered at his new nickname, but immediately took a liking to it. Miyo, huh. It was cute.
"I don't know what'd be a good nickname for you though, Tsuzuru-san," Kazunari explained as he racked his brain for nickname ideas.
"Hmmm, a nickname for me? Let's see… how about Tsu-kun?”
Kazunari considered it a bit, but sighed. “Isn’t that a bit too childish?”
Tsuzuru hummed in agreement, and put on the same expression he had earlier. ‘Is this really how he is when he’s deep in thought?’ Kazunari thought to himself. It was quite cute.
That was when an idea hit Kazunari, and his face lit up this time. “I know! What about Tsuzurun?” he exclaimed a bit loudly, as if he doesn’t want to lose the idea.
“It’s great!!! Starting today we’ll call each other our nicknames, okay Miyo?”
“Okay, Tsuzurun!”
––
Curry has always just been a fond high school memory for Tsuzuru since then. It wasn’t like he was actively avoiding curry. (Or was he? He hasn’t eaten it since then.) Whatever, it didn’t matter much because it isn’t a big deal anyway. It’s not like he was going to be forced to eat curry ever in his life.
So it really came as a surprise to him when their dearest director served curry to them one dinner. He was a bit hesitant to eat at first, but he knew it would be rude to refuse the food served to him. Tsuzuru just didn’t expect this is where he’d be eating curry again after so many years.
“Tsuzuru-kun, you don’t like curry?! But it’s the perfect food! I’ve studied a wide variety of spices to-” Izumi started when she noticed Tsuzuru hadn't touched his food yet. Just when he thought he’d already heard five times the normal amount of knowledge the average person has about curry.
He felt Itaru nudging his leg under the table. When Tsuzuru looked at him, he could tell Itaru was hurrying him to eat so Izumi would shut up. Understanding his pain, Tsuzuru took a bite.
It tastes… different. He could tell it was higher quality than the one he used to buy, and it did taste amazing. He just wasn’t used to it. It looks like he didn’t really have much of a choice though, considering the Director’s… passion for curry.
Besides, it seemed pointless to wait for a certain someone to share curry with. Does he even remember Tsuzuru after all these years? Will they even be able to meet again? It’s probably best to put that all in the past. Who’d even be hung up on a high school incident after 3 years? Definitely not Tsuzuru Minagi.
His peaceful dinners of endless curry soon became dreaded when a familiar face re-entered Tsuzuru’s life like it was nothing. In fact, this isn’t the turn of events he expected at all. He only contacted Kazunari again because of the sorry state the company’s website was in, but he was never really able to have a proper conversation with him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to initiate that conversation anyway. Tsuzuru accepted that that’s the last time they’d ever acknowledge each other.
...Until Kazunari showed up to the Summer Troupe auditions. It’s okay, Tsuzuru reassured himself, it’s not like he was going to pass anyway. Kazunari never acted back then.
When barely anyone else showed up to the auditions though, the implications quickly dawned on Tsuzuru. They’ll be living together in the same dorm. They’ll see each other daily. They’ll be eating meals together. Most of which are curry. He’ll be eating curry with Kazunari almost daily.
Fuck.
Tsuzuru wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with this. Was he just not gonna eat whenever the food’s curry? No, he definitely can’t do that. Does he just eat after Kazunari’s done? Or maybe he can just be a normal person and reconcile with Kazunari? Ugh, this is hard. He’ll just cross the bridge when he gets there.
––
Tsuzuru is currently at that bridge. It’s the day Summer Troupe is moving into the dorm, and they’re all gonna be settled in today. Which also means first dinner with everyone. That happens to include one particular Kazunari Miyoshi.
Maybe he can pretend that he’ll start thinking of ideas for the script early? Izumi might buy it if he says he won’t be passing out the next time he submits a play. Yeah, that’ll work. He hopes.
Tsuzuru just sends a text to the director, saying he’ll probably be late to dinner since he started thinking of ideas for the next play and wanted to take advantage of his creative mood. He reassures that he’ll make sure to get food later, just so she won’t get worried.
With a heavy sigh, he flopped down on his bed still feeling incredibly tense. He recalled what happened exactly on the last day of his second year that caused this awkward chain of events.
It was the last week before the third years graduate, and everyone was busy. Kazunari was busy juggling requirements for the universities he applied to, and on top of that was dealing with year end academic requirements. Despite the hectic schedule, he decided to go down to the classrooms of the second years and maybe hangout with his favorite underclassman one last time.
When he got there, there were only a few students in the room. Tsuzuru didn’t seem to be there, but Kazunari knew how busy he was so he decided to wait.
As he was waiting, the building already got washed in warm hues as the sun set. Kazunari was probably worried for Tsuzuru, but ultimately decided he had more important matters to attend to. It was then that he decided to leave so he could get home before dark.
...Or so goes the story he’s pieced together himself. The day after this happened, one of Tsuzuru’s classmates tell him that his upperclassman friend was waiting for him outside the classroom, and another said she saw the same friend leave school right before it was getting dark.
Tsuzuru had gone home early that day to help his younger siblings for their exams, so it completely slipped his mind that it was the last week of the third-years. He immediately tried looking for Kazunari, but to no avail. He was nowhere to be seen. The only thing he was able to do was write a letter to Kazunari and slip it into his locker, in the slim chance he’d still check it a day before graduation. He never got a proper reply though.
Ever since then, he thought that Kazunari was mad at him. It makes sense though, right? Of course you’d be upset if you’re graduating and moving to a different school and your friend in the lower year suddenly ignored you during your last week.
In retrospect, it’s such a petty thing to be ignoring him over, but he doesn’t really know how to fix it either.
Tsuzuru just closed his eyes, in hopes that rest can somehow enlighten him with much needed wisdom. If he can rest, that is.
––
“Welcome to Mankai!” Izumi loudly declared as everyone from Spring and Summer Troupes sat at the table. (Well, almost everyone.) She served her signature curry to everyone, and while Spring members sighed heavily the new Summer members were beaming.
“Yo, this is sick! Let’s take a picture~” Kazunari said as his camera shutter was already clicking away, taking countless shots of the curry.
As he extended his arm to take a selfie with everyone, Izumi quickly said “Wait!”, catching everyone’s attention.
“Kazunari-kun, is it okay if you don’t take a picture now? It feels wrong when we’re incomplete,” Izumi explained, looking quite apologetic for the interruption.
Incomplete?
Well, now that she mentions it, Kazunari notices there’s an empty seat next to Masumi.
“Where’s Tsuzuru-kun?” Sakuya asks the director, and it momentarily stuns Kazunari as he puts the pieces together slowly.
Curry.
Tsuzurun.
Me.
He understands what’s going on now.
Dinner went smoothly and Kazunari got along well with his new troupe members, but he barely touched his food. Once everyone was done eating and the dining table was mostly empty, he excused himself and brought Tsuzuru’s serving and his own plate upstairs. “I just want to greet everyone, and that includes Tsuzurun!” he explained to the director, and while it was true it wasn’t the only intention he had.
Arriving in front of the room Izumi directed him to, he knocked on the door a few times (albeit struggling due to the two plates of food) and called out Tsuzuru’s name. All that greeted him was silence, so he tried again.
“Tsuzurun, the food’s going to get cold you know! Also my arms are getting tired, help me out here~” Kazunari complained, hoping it’ll get Tsuzuru out of there. He knows he doesn’t like getting annoyed.
Sure enough, within a few moments the door opens to reveal a slightly disheveled Tsuzuru that’s… blushing for some reason? He still looks as boyish as he did back then. They just stare at each other for a few painfully long seconds, then Tsuzuru seemingly snaps back to reality and quickly takes his food from Kazunari. Did his ears get even redder? Before Kazunari had a chance to see, Tsuzuru quickly walked ahead of him.
“Let’s eat at the balcony,” Tsuzuru said in a hushed voice, and Kazunari promptly followed him. Once they got there, they placed their plates on the table and sat across each other. Tsuzuru’s eyes were moving around, suddenly taking interest in random objects around the room. Kazunari just stared at him as he took a few bites of the curry because he was starving and honestly did not want to wait for Tsuzuru to speak up.
Tsuzuru finally paused for a bit, and Kazunari stopped eating. They seemed completely frozen for a little while.
“Tsuzu-”
“So-”
Their eyes met again in surprise, but this time Kazunari’s ears were tinged pink.
“You go first!” Kazunari says, trying to hide how flustered he got.
“No, you go first.”
“No, you.”
“No you. ”
“No you!”
Tsuzuru chuckles quietly, finding the moment amusing. Kazunari quickly followed after, the two of them laughing together for the first time in years. It’s as if nothing changed between them. It felt like the old days again.
The silence that followed this moment was unlike the awkwardness between them earlier. Sure, a bit of the tension is still there, but the pair both felt like they could breathe a bit easier.
This is the only moment Tsuzuru could’ve initiated a conversation, so he decides to go straight to the point. It’s now or never.
“Miyoshi-san…” Tsuzuru started.
Kazunari felt a pang in his chest when he went back to addressing him formally.
“Did you- did you ever see the letter I left in your locker on your last day way back then?”
Ah, Tsuzuru’s letter. That letter. The letter. He’s reread it countless times, honestly. No way he’d admit it out loud, but he knows basically all the contents of the letter by heart.
Dear Miyo,
I’m really sorry I wasn’t able to meet you this week. I went home early to help my younger siblings with their own final exams, and I didn’t think you’d want to meet this week considering how busy you are. Despite that, I know it’s inexcusable that I left you, especially since you’re graduating. In exchange, I hope the feelings I want to convey reach you through this letter. It sounds so cheesy, I know, but let me be genuine for a bit.
Your company for the past two years made me really happy. Even though I joked around a lot and pretended to be annoyed by your antics, I enjoyed every single moment with you. I’m so thankful I get to call you my friend, especially knowing you don’t easily open up to others.
I know I should encourage you to make friends with lots of other people (and I do!), but if I can be completely honest, sometimes it makes me feel special. Knowing that there’s a side of Kazunari Miyoshi that only I get to see is something I’m quite proud of. It’s selfish, but I can’t exactly explain how I feel when it’s just the two of us. It does feel really nice though.
Good luck on pursuing your dream. I know how hard you’ve been working to pursue your passion, and I’m sure you’ll be successful. I know I say it often whenever I catch you drawing, but I really admire the way you make art. You make everything so bright and vibrant, and you literally color the world. It reflects you well honestly, because to me you make everything bright and colorful. It amazes me.
I hope one day we’ll be able to meet again, after we’ve chased the goals we often daydreamed about on the rooftop as we ate curry together. Only eat curry with me, okay? Until then, you gotta eat anything else but curry! So let’s fulfill our dreams quickly so we can eat curry together again!
- Your Tsuzurun
It was probably a bad choice to keep reading that letter, because each time Kazunari’s heart seems to be flipping in his chest. No matter how many times his eyes went over Tsuzuru’s words, it felt like a new experience. He didn’t quite understand what was happening, but it’s the only time he’s ever felt genuinely cared for by a friend.
Kazunari never responded though because he didn’t know how exactly. Before he knew it, Tsuzuru also graduated high school and he still hasn’t thought of a proper way to approach him. He realizes that this exact moment, during this conversation, is the only way he could properly talk to Tsuzuru about it.
“You know, Tsuzurun-”
He hesitated a bit after using the old nickname.
“I thought you got mad at me because I never replied to you.”
Tsuzuru looked like he had something to say, but Kazunari decided to keep talking.
“The truth is, I didn’t know what to do. It was the first and only time someone outside my family cared for me so much. I felt everything that your letter was trying to convey, so I wanted to reciprocate in a way that wasn’t lacking. But that took me too long, and the only opportunity that came to me was joining Mankai. So I grabbed it.”
Tsuzuru was still trying to process everything, but for some reason he could only ask one thing immediately. “Wait… so you’re telling me you joined Mankai for me? ” God, seriously?! Years of tension explained, and that’s all he can say?!
Kazunari blushed and quickly exclaimed “N-no! That’s not how it is! I mean, okay, sure, maybe you’re one of the reasons, but I do genuinely enjoy theater you know! I took a few units of it in university and it was fun!”
The other laughed at him, relieved that everything’s okay between them. Looks like he was worried over nothing. “I’m just relieved because really, I thought you’d completely forgotten me.”
Forget Tsuzurun? There’s no way Kazunari could have done that. He felt kinda hurt, is that really how Tsuzuru thought of him? Someone who’d just easily leave a close friend?
Seeing the expression on Kazunari’s face, he quickly followed up with an explanation. “Don’t take it personally, we just made up and I don’t wanna argue again, but seriously man you felt like a different person when I saw your posts. I’d never have imagined you to be the paripi type, you know? You felt different.”
Ah of course, leave it to Tsuzuru to be the only one to see through him. He does deserve an explanation, of all people.
“Tsuzurun, when I entered university I told myself I’ll start fresh. I changed how I look, but with that I made a new persona for myself too. I thought that maybe if I act energetic all the time and agree with anything someone says, they’re sure to like me right? Then I won’t have to be lonely. Well, it did work to an extent, I had lots of new friends, but none of them ever took me seriously. It’s as if I were a cartoon character people found entertaining, but was never really given a proper personality.”
Kazunari paused for a bit, reflecting on how he goes about socializing with others. He understood how it can be annoying, but it was the best way to hide his true feelings.
In a quieter tone, he continued, “So that’s why I was so happy when you reached out to me again. However when you greeted me with Miyoshi-san and acted cold, I knew something was up. I couldn’t just leave loose threads. That’s why I followed you to Mankai.”
Despite being a writer, Tsuzuru acknowledged that there are moments where actions speak louder than words. This was one of those moments. He quietly got up and went to Kazunari’s side, and gently pulled him into a hug. He could feel the weight lifted off of his shoulders. For what felt like forever, he held Kazunari in his arms. (Tsuzuru didn’t notice his own heartbeat speed up, but Kazunari definitely did.)
“We’re with each other again, Miyo. You’ll never be lonely.”