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It was late afternoon and the sun sent its last lazy rays through the high windows of the living room of Grimmauld Place 12. Sirius was watching the hands on the clock move slowly. James had said he’d come by around 4, but that was still half an hour from now and Sirius was bored.
Not that there was nothing to do around the house - in a mansion like this there are always cupboards to dust, cobwebs to remove or pixies to chase away. But Sirius couldn’t bring himself to get up from the sofa and take care of a house he despised. Some days he couldn’t bring himself to do anything at all except lie on the sofa and stare holes into the ceiling and maybe have the occasional firewhiskey which conveniently stood on the sofa table.
James said he was depressed. That’s probably why he wanted to come by, too, to cheer him up. And maybe dispose of the firewhiskey.
Sirius knew he wasn’t depressed. He was alone. But not just alone, he was lonely.
Since Dumbledore had put him on house arrest last month for trying to get in contact with Remus, he had barely seen anyone. Except that fleabag Kreacher. Which didn’t exactly make it better. So he really didn’t mind James coming to visit, even if his best friend was being way too dramatic about this whole situation (which was ironic because usually it was Sirius who made things unnecessarily dramatic).
Sirius hoped he’d bring Harry. Prongs junior seemed to really keep his parents busy, considering that before his birth they’d all met up regularly and now this was the first time James and Sirius would see each other after the christening. But he wasn’t mad about that. He knew that children were a lot of work and that Lily and James were doing everything they could to be the best parents and still keep up with him and their other friends (they sent weekly letters that were stained with what Sirius hoped to only be milk and not something the baby threw up). Harry could do no wrong in his godfather’s eyes anyway, especially if it was annoying James.
Sirius sighed. He was already missing the little brat. He smiled fondly at the picture Lily had sent with the last owl, a photo of Harry in his crib, holding a tiny toy snitch. ‘Already had his first Quidditch practice today’ James had scribbled on the back.
Sirius yawned and stretched before he got up from the sofa. For the first time in weeks he was itching to do something. He didn’t know what until his eyes fell on the old piano next to the window. The surface looked oddly streaky due to its black varnish having peeled off in some places, revealing the raw wood beneath. Not long before he had left, Remus had asked him for lessons and Sirius had magically tuned the piano the same day. It hadn’t been used in quite a while since it always reminded Sirius of his posh upbringing that of course also included piano lessons. He was always reluctant to put the things to use his parents had forced on him (except for his neat cursive, simply because the professors at Hogwarts had always used it to justify towards James why they had taken points from him for his handwriting which was almost indecipherable) but the trouble was that he really enjoyed playing the piano, so he’d still do it from time to time.
In Hogwarts, apart from the one he could wish for in the Room of Requirement, there had been another one in an old classroom near the Hufflepuff common room that he’d sneaked into sometimes. Remus had been looking for him once and found him there, too immersed in the piece he’d been playing to even realise his friend coming in. When he had been finished and opened his eyes again to see Remus looking positively spellbound he had decided to play more often and to always leave the Map with Remus so he could find him. That abandoned classroom with its piano held some of Sirius’ fondest memories. Remus might have even fallen in love with him thanks to that same piano. Or his good looks. Or his modesty.
Sirius let his fingers glide over the keys. He hadn’t played since Remus had left. Maybe it would ease the pain of missing him.
Sirius sat down in front of the piano and took a deep breath. He didn’t have any notes. He didn’t need them as he always played by heart, so he just let his fingers lead the way. They took him from song to song and it was calming in a way he’d forgotten. He let his mind wander and reminisced their last year at Hogwarts: the most elaborate pranks in their Marauder career, pulling all-nighters studying in the dimly lit common room and regularly falling asleep right there in the armchairs by the fire, nights in the woods, running wild in their animal forms, the feasts and the food and Remus. Always Remus.
Sirius felt the desperation tug on his heart again. Remus had been gone for months now, on a secret mission for the Order Dumbledore had forbidden him to talk about. The first days after his departure had been bad, but Sirius had occupied himself with everything he could find and the distractions had really helped. For a while. But when James had asked him to stop doing the shopping for them because their fridge and freezer were overflowing and it would suffice at least until after Lily had given birth and not even Peter wanted any more of his homemade chocolate chip cookies he had started feeling alone.
He missed Remus horribly and the more time passed the less he could help worrying that something had happened to him. Would they even find out? He didn’t know if he’d be able to take it.
The creaking of the front door disrupted Sirius’ thoughts, which was just as well as he could feel himself descending into a spiral of doom again.
He checked the time and was surprise to see that it was just before 4. James wasn’t usually on time, let alone early. Was it James? In times like these one had to be careful. His right hand moved to grab his wand while his left kept playing so it wouldn’t seem suspicious.
“James?” he called over his shoulder.
“Not exactly,” said a soft voice that Sirius would recognise everywhere. He spun around so quickly he almost fell and stared at the smiling face in disbelief.
“Remus,” he whispered. He was like paralyzed for a second before he jumped up and flung his arms around his boyfriend. He buried his face in the crook his neck and breathed in shakily. “You’re back!”
He felt Remus nod and hug him back tightly. Sirius leaned back a bit so they were face to face. When he saw that Remus was crying, his own eyes welled up and he had to swallow hard. He lifted his hands to both sides of Remus’ cheeks to carefully brush away the tears with his thumb and pressed a soft kiss onto his lips. And another one. And a third.
“God, I missed you,” he groaned and leaned his forehead against Remus’.
“I missed you, too,” he whispered back, a huge smile on his face, and bumped Sirius’ nose with his. Sirius felt a laugh bubble in his throat that sounded more like a hiccup but he didn’t care.
“You’re not just visiting, right?” he asked worriedly and bit his lip, “To immediately leave again?”
“I’m staying,” Remus replied and Sirius had this huge lump in his throat so he just nodded and went back to burying his head in the crook of Remus’ neck, leaving little butterfly kisses everywhere he could reach. Remus sighed and put his head on Sirius’, nuzzling his hair.
“I can’t believe you’re back.” Sirius voice came out muffled and he finally gave in to the tears brimming in his eyes with a silent sob. Remus only held him closer.
“I can’t believe you stole my sweater,” he grinned.
“And it doesn’t even smell like you anymore,” Sirius complained, “None of them do.”
“You went through all of my sweaters?” Remus asked incredulously and pushed back a little to stare down at Sirius with a reproachful look. He at least had the decency to bow his head sheepishly.
“I just missed you much,” he mumbled and looked back up to meet Remus’ - once again watery - eyes, “I was scared you might not come back…” Sirius trailed off. He wasn’t usually one to voice his worries; it made him uncomfortable. But Remus had to know how much he meant to him.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Remus smiled warmly and pressed a kiss to Sirius’ forehead.
- - and almost had his jaw broken when Sirius’ head suddenly snapped up.
“James said he’ll come visit today,” he remembered, “He’ll be so glad to see you!”
“Um, actually…” Remus scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I hope you don’t mind. I asked him not to come today.”
“You knew he’d come?” Sirius asked with his brow furrowed.
“Well…” Remus seemed really uncomfortable. “I might have told him that I’m coming back and that might be why he said he’d visit today.”
“You told him but not me?” Sirius put his hands on his hips indignantly.
“I wanted it to be a surprise!” Remus replied quickly.
“It turned out to be torture.”
“Oh come on, you big drama queen!” Remus wrapped his arms around his pouting boyfriend and kissed the top of his head. “I’m here now.”
Sirius yet again had a hard time repressing a smile, but refused to surrender so easily. “And why have you cancelled on Prongs now?”
“I thought maybe it would be nice if we had some time alone first?” Remus muttered, “But if you want we can call him and-“
“No, you’re right.”
“I’m right?”
“You’re right.”
“Being grounded has really taken a toll on you, huh?”
“Shut up!” Sirius laughed and slapped the back of Remus’ head lightly. “You know you’re right most of the time.”
“I know that, but since when do you admit it?” Sirius just rolled his eyes with a smirk.
“See, that’s the problem,” he said, “With James I have a reputation to keep. If he saw me like this right now, all giddy and sappy and shit, he’d never let me live it down.”
“Good point.” Remus nodded solemnly. “Just for the record, though: I love giddy and sappy and shit.”
“It’s your lucky day then,” Sirius grinned, threw his arms around Remus’ neck and wrapped his legs around his hips. Remus staggered for a second but regained his balance quickly, smiling at his boyfriend, who couldn’t help but kiss him. “It really is.”