Work Text:
Jimin is thinking.
Pouty pink lips and rosy, squishy dumpling cheeks.
A cute nose that Jimin really, really wants to boop.
And those hands, oh those hands.
Jimin sighs into a pillow, tired of how hopelessly in love he is. It’s been year after year of pining over Yoongi, the boy who suspiciously resembles a kitten (Jimin’s secret hobby is to compare pictures of Yoongi to kittens but no one needs to know), but Jimin is too scared to even consider making a move on the older boy.
A boy as pretty as Yoongi was way too out of his league, surely.
---
when I feel like lovin’, kissin’ and huggin’, I think about you
---
Jimin is suffering.
The seven boys are having a movie night and everyone is in a comfortable position in front of the TV, either on the floor or on the couch. They had settled on some random romantic movie hoping to have a nice laugh as they made fun of it, but it turned out to be quite interesting and now they were all engrossed.
As the movie played on the large screen, Jimin noticed Yoongi shifting closer and closer, until Yoongi was almost on top of him. Jimin had secured the end of the couch so he knew he would be comfortable but this. This was way too comfortable, too good to be true. Jimin tries to steady his heart, he didn’t want Yoongi to know he was nervous or to make things awkward between them. Stop thinking too much, don’t make this weird. He shoots Yoongi a questioning look.
“It’s cold.”
Well, okay. Of course.
Even though he didn’t have any hopes, he can’t help but feel a little disappointed. But all the icky feelings went away with every time Yoongi looked at him during the rest of the movie. Yoongi would look at Jimin with a little smile, or look at him when something funny happened in the movie, as if to say, ‘that was funny, wasn’t it?’. Jimin falls asleep with a warm heart and a small smile dancing on his lips.
The next day, Jimin receives a text from Taehyung.
you guys looked cute together so I couldn’t resist, you’re welcome :)
It comes with a photo of Yoongi and Jimin huddled on the couch, sleeping comfortably.
Jimin feels heat crawling up his neck, and he can’t stop himself from smiling.
We do look cute, don’t we? Yoongi, when will you realize? The things we could do as a couple! Go on dates to the cute café down the street, write little love notes for each other to find-
Stop. He needs to stop.
Yoongi doesn’t seem to reciprocate Jimin’s feelings, and Jimin needs to accept that it just might not happen. It feels like he’s putting his heart in a cage and it hurts so much, but the last thing he wanted to do was create distance between them and if he has to hide his feelings for Yoongi forever, so be it.
He tells himself this but he can’t stop himself from daydreaming about going on dates with Yoongi, taking care of Yoongi, being loved by Yoongi; Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi.
He wants to be able to always hug Yoongi, kiss Yoongi’s lips, cuddle with Yoongi. He wanted to openly love Yoongi.
But Yoongi was not his, and Jimin’s heart is suffering.
---
when my heart starts to burnin and I get that crazy yearnin, I think about you
---
Jimin is reminiscing.
Last Christmas, the seven boys had gone to the mall to enjoy the holiday festivities and to buy last minute gifts. Yoongi and Jimin had lost the others in the food court after Seokjin had pointed out a limited edition Christmas doughnut, and so together, the two walked around the mall hand in hand as they tried to find the rest of the group.
(Yoongi slipped his fingers between Jimin’s, almost hesitantly, “Just so we don’t get separated.”
“Okay, hyung.”)
Jimin’s chest tightens from the memory of the warmth that radiated from the older boy’s firm hand, and Jimin feels like his heart just might explode.
As Yoongi and Jimin neared a corner of the second floor of the mall, the bright lights were replaced by fairy lights and they noticed that the place seemed to be something like a resting area that happened to be full of couples. Jimin flushed at the idea of them being together and became very aware of the fact that Yoongi’s hand was in his. He also felt like giggling because the thought made him feel elated and oh, how he wanted it to happen. Yoongi suggests resting for a while on one of the benches, and Jimin agrees.
Yoongi immediately leaned back on his hands and looked up, “Ah, those guys, I swe-“ and stopped. Curious, Jimin followed Yoongi’s eyes and looked above them to see a mistletoe.
No wonder why there are so many couples here.
Jimin felt the heat climb his cheeks before he could even utter a surprised ‘oh’ and looked towards Yoongi in the dim lighting to find what seemed to be a blushing Yoongi, but it could’ve been the cold so he couldn’t be sure. In normal circumstances, Jimin would’ve laughed it off and said, “what a funny/weird tradition!”, but there was just something about Christmas, something about the way the fairy lights illuminated Yoongi’s face and something about the way Yoongi was looking at him with wide eyes; Jimin was feeling brave. Jimin let out an airy laugh before quickly leaning in and lightly brushing his lips against Yoongi’s cheek. When he pulled back, he smiled fondly at Yoongi’s surprised face and ignored his screaming mind to calmly ask, “I hope that didn’t make you uncomfortable?”
“No. No, no, that was okay.”
“Okay. Should we continue looking for the others?”
Yoongi replies with a nod.
Jimin pats his face with both hands as if trying to wake himself up, “Oh my god I really did that.”
Yoongi, my heart carries so much love for you, but will I ever get to call you mine?
---
when that feeling comes all over me, it’s you I want to see, nobody but you
---
Jimin is surrendering.
His heart has been yearning for Yoongi for years now and over the years, Jimin had tried several times to get over him by dating other people.
Okay, twice.
Twice was enough to understand that he wanted Yoongi, and Yoongi only.
He would always end up comparing the date to Yoongi, and Jimin decided that it wouldn’t be fair to the other person if he were to enter a new relationship with someone who was willing to give their all, when Jimin was still very much in love with a certain boy.
Jimin wanted Yoongi’s adorable gummy smile, his spontaneous dancing(wiggling), his words that could provide him with comfort no matter what.
If Jimin were to love, Yoongi would be the only recipient of all of it.
Yoongi, here is my heart, and it’s all yours.
---
when I need satisfying without even trying, I think about you
---
Jimin is greedy.
Or at least he feels so.
He knows Yoongi doesn’t have feelings for him, yet he wants and wants and wants. Yoongi delivers.
Yoongi knew Jimin. He knew what Jimin liked to drink on hot days, what he liked to do when he was bored, his favorite places to relax. It was knowledge he had acquired over the many years they had known each other, and over time, their actions had synced up.
When Jimin is feeling uncomfortable, Yoongi is there to comfort him. When Jimin is having trouble making a choice, Yoongi is there to help him think about what would make him happy in the long run. When Jimin is extra clumsy, Yoongi is there to catch him. When Jimin needs silent support, Yoongi is there for him.
Jimin is always quick to notice when he yearns for more, and tries to cover it up, hoping the feeling will eventually disappear.
Jimin knew Yoongi cared for him, and that was enough.
---
I think about you, you, you
---
Jimin is determined.
He’s decided that tonight is the night. It’s Valentine’s Day, and he doesn’t care anymore. Today shall be the end of his pining, the end of ‘what if’s and the end of hiding his feelings.
If his heart ends up shattered tonight, so be it, he doesn’t care.
He’s tired of the uncertainty, and he’s tired of feeling guilty when his heart screams for more. It might be a selfish decision and he might lose this friendship, but he needs to do this for his own sanity.
He’s nervous, and he feels like he might cry at any moment. His throat feels tight and he thinks he might choke on his own words, but he has to do this, he has to do this for himself. He’s already at Yoongi’s door anyway, no going back.
He rings the bell.
You can do this.
---
Oh, I, I think about you
---
The door opens and a confused Yoongi stands on the other side.
“Jimin?”
Jimin takes a deep breath, and meets Yoongi’s eyes. Here goes nothing.
“I’ve been in love with you for years and I can’t take it anymore. I’m tired of pretending that I don’t love you. I’m so sorry.”
Jimin steps forward, holds Yoongi’s face in his hands, and connects their lips.
Yoongi kisses back.