Work Text:
Columbia used to be a collection of bad memories for Neil, but it slowly being replaced by good ones. Slowly it became almost a second home to him. Neil clung to good memories, he didn’t have a lot before Palmetto State. Now, he clings to them, hoards them. Neil has them slotted into his memory and he can remember every second, every breath.
This time was harder to go to Columbia. It was for Aaron’s trial. Andrew hadn’t spoke two days before they arrived and being in Columbia didn’t change his mood, Aaron was angry so he also didn’t speak. The only thing that kept Neil sane was Nicky’s constant chatting trying to fill up the space that was left void by the cousins.
It had been a year and a half since the attack in Columbia, but the pain in all of them was as if it just happened. Wymack asked if they wanted him to come, Andrew couldn’t be bothered to answer. He brought Abby since Betsy Dobson had to be there to access Andrew’s mental state after the attack, since she initially treated him after the attack.
Andrew’s old foster mother didn’t look Andrew’s way during the trial. Neil couldn’t tell if Andrew was hurt by it, or relieved, but Neil wouldn’t ask. He knew better.
After the trial, after Betsy, Wymack and Abby left, reality seemed to come back to Neil. Aaron was free, but none of them were free of the memories created in this city. Andrew was attacked, Aaron lost his innocence, again, he took a life, Nicky lost his family. Kevin and Neil were bystanders, but that moment, the moment Neil went into that room part of him knew that he would always protect Andrew.
The end of the trial didn’t cause Andrew to speak. He didn’t have dinner with them. He stayed in his room, the door wasn’t locked, but Neil could feel the warning to keep out. Neil grabbed an extra blanket and threw it on the couch.
“You’re staying down here?”
Neil jumped and turned around, he didn’t realize Aaron was still downstairs. Neil shrugged.
“Is he ever going to be okay?” Aaron asked
Neil blinked over at him. “Honestly?” Neil asked. “I don’t know.”
Aaron nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Are you?” Neil asked.
“I’m fine,” Aaron said.
“You’re allowed to have feelings about it,” Neil snorted.
Aaron shrugged. “He deserved it,”
“He did,” Neil agreed. “Still, you killed someone, no matter if he deserved it or not.”
Aaron nodded. “Last night was my first nightmare about it in almost a year.”
“Have you talked to Betsy?”
“Have you?” Aaron shot back.
Neil sat on the couch and sighed, he rubbed at his hand and shrugged. “Maybe I should, but I don’t want too.”
“I think that’s the first honest thing you ever said to me,” Aaron said.
Neil shrugged a shoulder. “I know we won’t ever be right with each other, but I’m going to be with Andrew for as long as he’ll let me-”
“Stop,” Aaron said and lifted a hand.
Neil blinked, but stayed quiet. Neil sighed, thinking that Aaron didn’t want to have this conversation.
“I’ve seen him change since you’ve been here,” Aaron said. “I still think you’re an asshole with too many secrets, but” Aaron shrugged, “I think the same thing about him. I may never like you, but he does, there’s nothing more I want then him not to be alone. He’s alone all the time, except when he’s with you.”
“Me too,” Neil said after a moment. “You should hate me, I stayed because of him. I brought everything on me down on the team.”
“I would have killed you if you left,” Aaron said.
“What?”
“You saved him,” Aaron said.
They both looked up when a door upstairs opened.
“Neil,” Andrew’s cool voice said, he didn’t call down. He simply said his name knowing Neil would hear.
“Take care of him,” Aaron said softly.
“Always,” Neil said before he went up the stairs. Andrew was back in the bed when he entered. “You okay?”
“Don’t talk,” Andrew said his back to him, he reached back and moved the blankets as a sign for Neil to get in.
Neil got into bed turned towards Andrew, but he doesn’t touch him. They stay like that for a moment before Andrew reached back again and grabbed Neil’s arm. Neil moved closer and wrapped his arm around Andrew’s waist slowly and put his mouth and nose into Andrew’s shoulder.
Andrew didn’t speak, just clung to Neil’s hand, Neil could feel Andrew’s ragged breaths against his chest. Neil slowed his own breath, hoping he can calm Andrew by coaxing him into slower breaths.
Soon the death grip on Neil’s hand relaxed and Andrew’s breath slowed. Neil stayed awake staring at the back of Andrew’s head. Andrew needed sleep, they both knew what happened when Andrew didn’t get any sleep. Neil would watch over him, he’d keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t have nightmares. Andrew knew that Drake was dead, he knew the threat was over, but Neil will never forget how Andrew clung to his hand like he was the only thing standing between him and Drake.
Neil would stand between Andrew and the world if he had to.