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There was a time where Hades would look at himself in the mirror and see nothing but a reflection of his father.
When they saw him, they saw him. Every waking moment of his life was spent being compared to his father by strangers, by his family, even by lovers he believed himself to be in love with.
Hades forced him to believe he would never escape the ghost of his father that had haunted him for as long as he could remember. Everywhere he went, the shadow of his father followed, mocking him, insulting him, cursing him as if he had never been damned to the depths of Tartarus. It was a ghost that would never let him forget where he came from, and was always there to remind him that all he is was all he would ever be.
Sometimes, he would think of his mother. All the good within him came from his mother; so loving, so protective, even when she had no choice but to give into his father. Still, he would always love her regardless. Rhea was still a constant presence in his life; her invisible presence lifted him up when he needed it the most, even when he knew he wasn’t deserving of the happiness her spirit gave him. He had already accepted with a heavy heart that his mother would never be proud of the way he was.
Then he met her, and by the grace of the Fates he didn’t fall into a mere puddle on the ground the second he laid eyes on her.
Persephone was everything he didn’t think he was capable of being— loving, compassionate, kind, and so, so beautiful. Every piece of his existence urged him to love her, even when he didn’t find it in him to love himself.
He fell in love with the way she looked curled up in his bed, watching her soft breaths as she drooled onto his dark sheets. He fell in love with the way she sang and danced around their kitchen in the morning just to make breakfast for him before a long day at work. He fell in love with the way she looked at him, as if he was the most mesmerizing being she had ever laid eyes on. He fell in love with the way she seemed to love him, endlessly.
For a while, all his fears about his father ceased to exist with each gentle kiss and caress she blessed him with. One look at her showed him what his eternal life had to offer— hope, love, happiness, devotion, light. He became reborn, only a mere shadow of the man he had condemned himself to be before he met her. The ghost of his father seemed to flicker out of his life, haunting him no longer.
But when Persephone told him that he was going to be a baba, all of those ghosts he thought he had let go of came back to him all at once.
She had told him she was pregnant with eyes brighter than the stars in the sky, and how badly he had wanted to match her look with his very own. All he felt was fear; fear of the blood of his father that would flow through his child’s veins, fear that he wouldn’t know how to be a good baba after not having one of his own, fear of failing the woman he loved the most. Every thought from the deepest part of his mind reminded him that he didn’t deserve this — this love, this child, this growing family. The ghosts that he knew flickered back into life, plaguing his mind even when he so badly wanted them to disappear from his life.
Persephone noticed his fear, too. It broke his heart when she had come to him crying, asking him if he even wanted to have this baby, his baby, a sea of hurt in her eyes as the tears kept falling into her lap.
He realized then how he never wanted her to feel like this, not in a hundred years, not even a thousand.
The more her belly grew, the less his fears seemed plagued his mind. He would never forget the feeling of her growing stomach under his hand as they slept, or the feeling of utter joy that bloomed within him when they found out they were not having one but two new additions to their family. His heart soared with bride as he would glimpse at the sonogram of his babies that he kept on his desk at all times, tears welling in his eyes as he couldn’t believe he would be blessed with two more little blessings.
He couldn’t help but worry about the type of father he would be. He grew anxious whenever he began to believe that he would fail his children, just like his father failed him, and wondered if his mother would be proud of him now. It was an unsettling feeling that stayed weighted on his chest, threatening to bury him at any second.
Still, Persephone was with him every step of the way, reminding him that no matter how hard it could be for him or for the both of them sometimes, they were in this together.
It’s what made those little moments throughout her pregnancy so much greater, seeing the proud smile that never seemed to leave her face day in and day out. Every night he would wrap himself around her, keeping one big hand on her stomach and feeling his babies move, tears coming into both of their eyes when they realized how real all of this was. He never got tired of placing his head on her belly when they laid in bed, feeling his babies give a soft kick to their baba’s face as Persephone’s laughter drowned out his own. He would never get over coming home and seeing her waddling around in his clothing, because mine are too tight and I like yours better anyway , she would say, a mischievous grin on her face as she now had the excuse to steal more and more of his clothes. He would always remember the look of pure amazement on her face as she sat naked in front of their mirror just admiring the fullness of her belly, and when she took a paintbrush and painted tiny little flowers on it as if it was her own personal canvas. He remembered how funny it was to him when he would see her walking around the house naked, opting out of clothing in the last month of her pregnancy.
These little moments reminded him that he was more than Kronos ever could be, and more than what he condemned himself to be. Persephone and his babies were his hope, endless rays of sunshine filtering into the shadow of the ghost of his father he shrouded himself in.
And when he finally got to hold his babies for the first time, the two new lights of his life, all of the ghosts that he knew flickered from view.
They laid against his chest, only slightly bigger than his hands, as he stared at the two of them with as much amazement as he could muster. Melinoe immediately tucked herself closer to her baba while Zagreus immediately cried for his mama, bringing them over to an already exhausted Persephone, who used every bit of her strength to give them both the most blinding smile.
Hades had never been in love like this before.
He held onto his babies for what seemed like hours, never once tearing his eyes away from them even when they both fell asleep on his chest, waiting for their mama to be cleaned up by her own mama after an exhausting home birth.
But once Persephone was able to get both babies in her arms, he knew at once that this was the fate he was always meant to have as he watched her, the love of his eternal life and mother of his children, as she looked down at their babies with the same look his mother used to give him. She continued to stare at her babies even when they both cried to be fed, a look of pure amazement in her eyes as she took in every detail of their children, tears welling up in her eyes when she finally looked up at him.
He couldn’t stop himself from climbing onto the bed with her, moving her forward so he could sit right behind her, feeling her lay back between his legs as she continued to feed their babies. He got a perfect view of his family this way, seeing how his babies were a perfect mix of everyone he had ever came to love— his mother, Persephone, and even himself. No longer was he damned to be like Kronos, he was Hades, and knew he would always strive to make his wife and his babies proud.
He knows his mother would be proud of him, too.