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Mark and Johnny met in their third year of high school. Mark wouldn’t have called himself a loner because he didn’t want to be alone, but no one particularly wanted to be around him so that’s what he was labeled as. Johnny, however, was the complete opposite. It seemed that everyone would always flock to him before class, during breaks, lunch and even after school. It wasn’t because he was extremely good looking – though all the girls in their grade might disagree – but it was mostly because he was funny, easy-going and a generally nice guy that everyone wanted to be friends with. Mark was nice too, but no one knew that.
The only reason the two boys even encountered one another was because they were in the same class and the annoying teacher who loved to pair people up assigned them to do a project together. Mark was dreading it but Johnny, who loved meeting new people was looking forward to it. Mark was the only person he had yet to speak with and he was excited to find out what his desk neighbor was like. Upon introducing himself to the quiet boy, even though he didn’t think he needed to, Johnny quickly caught uncomfortable vibes coming from Mark. Curious at the boy’s unspoken nature, Johnny quickly became determined to make Mark speak more than a few words to him, he wanted to have full-blown conversations with him about his likes, dislikes and basically everything. He wanted to unravel the mystery that was Mark Lee. Unraveling this mystery took all of Johnny’s precious energy and time. He doesn’t understand how someone could be incapable of having a simple conversation.
One day, unexpectedly, Johnny snaps. The guy who was always calm and smiling, has his eyes narrowed down at Mark as they sit at tables in the back of the school library – in their first year of college. Mark is beyond surprised, Johnny never lost his cool – ever. Not when his parents got on him for his slipping grades or when one of his many girlfriends accused him of cheating, he never lost his composure. So, why now? What did Mark, the guy with his head down and mouth shut, do to make Johnny so heated? “Dude I just don’t get it!” Johnny says, arms thrown out at his side. His dark brows are knitted together, and his eyes look tired. Mark couldn’t pinpoint the emotion, but he can tell that Johnny wasn’t happy.
“You never say anything ever. I do all the talking – which I don’t mind, my voice is pretty great to hear…” Mark rolls his eyes at this but continues listening as Johnny goes on. “…but you never say a thing! Why is that? How come since high school you haven’t spoken your mind? I don’t even know how you feel about us being friends, are we even friends? Or are you just too scared to tell me to go away?” He pauses and meets Mark’s eyes. He couldn’t read them and that just pisses him off even more. “I can’t even tell what you’re thinking! God, how do you do that?!”
A loud, exasperated sigh falls from Johnny’s mouth as he covers his face with his hands all while Mark blinks, head tilting to the side as he thinks of answers to Johnny’s questions and only one thing comes to mind. “I…don't know how.” Mark mumbles. Johnny’s head pops up and he looks around, searching for the source of the voice that sounded too close to be anyone else but Mark. His narrowed eyes widen in shock when he realizes the words did, in fact, come from Mark and even though it was only four words, Johnny is still surprised. That alone brings a smile back onto Johnny’s face as he leans back into his chair, similar determination in his eyes that was there when he first met Mark.
“You don’t know how to what? Speak? That’s a lie cause you just did it.” Mark shakes his head and rolls his eyes yet again. “Then what? You don’t know how to have a conversation? Dude, that has got to be bullshit. I’ve been conversating with you since we met, you had to pick up something.”
“Conversing.”
“What?”
“You’ve been conversing with me since we met, not conversating, that’s not even a word.” Mark speaks in a low voice while fumbling with his pen. Johnny’s sudden outburst also makes him question himself just as Johnny had. Why doesn’t he speak more when he knows he can, especially to his only friend? The fear of Johnny not wanting to be friends anymore because of Mark’s lack of speaking is the only thing that prompted him to respond to Johnny’s questions.
Mark dares to look up from his scribbles of notes at Johnny who sits motionless, his lips parted and his eyes big in what Mark could only describe as shock. Johnny sits like that for a good fifteen minutes, blinking every now and then as he stares at the boy across from him. Eventually, the shock fades as his eyes begin to water from all the staring.
“You barely speak and your first full sentence to me is correcting my word choice?” With playfulness in his tone, Johnny leans his elbows on the table with his chin resting on his palm. He silently wishes he would’ve blown up at Mark sooner, feeling as though he broke through the thickest wall only to be faced with a door that was unlocked.
“Technically, what you said wasn’t even a word so…” Mark laughs quietly but hisses a second after, leaning down to rub his knee that Johnny kicks in retaliation. “Shut up. You’re talking to me now; do you know what this means?” Mark shakes his head. “If you can talk to me – after a million years – then that means you can talk to other people! In less time, I hope. Whatever, time doesn’t matter as long as I can get you to do it, right?” Johnny’s face is full of hope whereas Mark just looks skeptical, but he doesn’t want to crush his friend’s optimism, so he just nods his head, giving his best smile along with a thumb up but apparently it looks too creepy because Johnny rapidly shakes his head no and leans over to push Mark’s hand down. Something else he needs to work on, Johnny thinks.
The process of trying to get Mark to socialize with other people is a long, difficult and tiring one. Johnny tries everything in his power, giving Mark all his good tricks – banging conversation starters, pickup lines, and compliments that can apply to everyone to help Mark out but none of them work. Johnny takes Mark to the mall every weekend to test the skills he drilled into Mark earlier in the week. The two sit in the food court, Mark usually keeps his head down or stuffs his face into a plate of fries while Johnny searches, searches for the right person for Mark to talk to, usually a girl. Johnny exclaims at how he found the right person for Mark to talk to but every time, it ends the same way. Johnny shoves Mark into the direction of the “test subject” (Johnny calls them) for Mark to practice conversation with. Mark usually freezes up and becomes a stuttering mess in front of the "test subjects.” It leaves Mark feeling discouraged each time the person awkwardly backs away from him, back to their friends to inform them of this weird encounter. Mark knows because the "test subject" was only a few feet away and was not a pro at whispering.
“I don’t know how you do it.” Mark says randomly followed by a disappointed sigh. He’s lying on the couch that occupies Johnny’s dorm. It’s now their second year in college and Mark is having a hard time adjusting to not having Johnny around him as much as he used to. He voiced that to Johnny once and he only laughed, taken aback at Mark’s sudden honesty, replying with “I’m sure you find me annoying. This is your chance to have a break from me!” Though his words sounded encouraging, Mark still dislikes being apart from Johnny.
“It’s easy. I just go up to someone and speak to them. Nothing to it.” Johnny shrugs his shoulders as he continues reading a comic book that he stole borrowed from his roommate. This is a conversation they have every other day. Mark only rolls his eyes in response, that being a consistent thing he does now when conversing with Johnny. “It’s easy for you.” Now it was Johnny’s turn to roll his eyes, flipping through a few more pages of the book before tossing it aside out of boredom, giving his full attention to the boy who had slid off the couch and is now on the floor. “Look, Mark, I can only do so much for you. You have to try too.” I am trying, Mark thinks to himself. As if he read Mark’s thoughts, Johnny keeps talking. “You’re not trying hard enough. You want to be able to talk to people but do you really really want to?” Mark throws a glare at Johnny and scoffs as he plays with a loose thread on one of the couch cushions. “Of course, I really really want to. I’m tired of only having myself and you to talk to.”
“You’re tired of talking to me?”
“That’s not what I said—”
“But you just said that you’re—”
Their discussion is interrupted by the door opening and Johnny’s roommate coming in, arms full of flyers and business cards, it looks like. Johnny slowly pulls his blankets up to hide the comic book and points at his roommate’s arms. “Whatcha got there, Benj?” Benj or Benji tosses everything onto his desk that sits next to his bed, hands searching for something through the abundance of posters for clubs and future events, making a sound of triumph when he finds it. He turns, eyes immediately landing on Mark and tosses what he found in Mark’s direction which lands a few inches away from him. Questioning eyes look up at Benji via both Mark and Johnny. “That’s for you.” Benji said to Mark.
“Well duh, you gave it to him but what is it?” Johnny asks, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. That being a habit he picked up from Mark even though Johnny is the reason Mark picked up the habit in the first place. “It’s a service to help with that thing you got going on, you know the thing that prevents you from speaking to people…like a normal person.” Johnny clenches his fist and was about to go off, this not being the first time Benji’s commented on Mark’s nonspeaking ways, but he looks to Mark for approval first, only to find the boy picking up the card and reading it with interest in his eyes. “Where’d you get that from?” Johnny holds back his anger and decides to only put Benji in his place if Mark gives the go-ahead. Though it didn’t look like Mark would ever being that his eyes are glued to the small white card as if it holds all the solutions to his problems.
Benji shrugs his shoulders, looking back down at all the papers he received today. “Dunno, could’ve been from anyone. I just remember the guy being really persistent about how it worked for him and his friends.”
“Him and his friends? You sure that’s a “hi we’re here to help your social skills” kinda service and not a “hi, we’re here to service you” kinda service?” The pretend sensual tone of Johnny’s voice makes Mark’s head pop up with wide eyes, looking between the two boys as he understood what kind of service Johnny was implying and if he’s being honest, that’s the last kind of service Mark needs.
A pillow flies in Johnny’s direction, smacking him directly in the side of his head as Benji tries to quickly reassure Mark. “No, you idiot! I promise it’s all to help your social skills…least that’s what the guy said but it sounds legit! You should call them.” Benji nods his head, doing what he could to encourage Mark, but Mark only looks to Johnny who was fixing his hair all huffily. “Johnny?” Mark murmurs, wanting Johnny’s honest opinion. Uncertainty is written all over Mark’s face and the only person that could wipe it away is his friend.
“I mean...why not? I doubt it’d hurt you to try.” Is Johnny’s only response and it’s enough for Mark so, why not? Mark, still sitting on the floor, reads the white card over and over. Talk To Me. That name does sound a little…sketchy but Mark’s determined to not form a full opinion about this service until he actually uses it. His eyes scan over the slogan underneath the name in smaller font, “Here to talk to you when you feel like no one else will!” That’s quite shitty, honestly, Mark thinks. He sighs loudly and looks around the empty room, feeling bitter at how Benji and Johnny left him alone to go eat dinner, stating he isn’t allowed to leave until he spoke to someone.
He honestly doesn’t feel like talking to anyone, what could this service do that Johnny hasn’t already tried? Call and find out. The voice that’s always right is back and Mark knows that it wouldn’t leave unless he calls. Staring down at the number that’s already dialed in, he hesitantly presses call and brings the phone up to his ear. It rings for a few seconds and clicks before a chirpy voice speaks, “Hello! I’m Lis– “He hangs up. He shakes his head slowly and decides that that is a stranger he most definitely can’t talk to his first time around. Is that it? Is Miss Perky the only one that answers these calls? Can’t be. Mark shakes his head some more and the voice appears yet again, Call back. He sighs in annoyance and hits redial, putting the phone back up to his ear once again, the same ringing and click happens, then a soft voice speaks.
“Hello?”
The voice causes Mark to pull the phone away from his ear and look down at it, not believing that a voice so delicate was coming from the other end of the line. It takes a few more of those confused “Hellos” before Mark remembers he has yet to reply to the voice that just now became one of his favorite things to hear.
“H-Hello?” Mark stutters out in his usual low and shy voice. “Hi.” The voice replies and Mark feels like he sensed a smile coming from their side but he wasn’t going to ask.
“Hi.”
Sure, just repeat after them. That’ll do it. Mark rolls his eyes but was secretly proud of himself for not hanging up yet.
“Hey.” The voice greets again, this time with a laugh, obviously amused at their back and forth. The corners of his mouth twitch at the sound of their laugh and he doesn’t bother fighting the grin that stretches over his lips.
“Hey.”
“I don’t know about you, but I could greet you a million different ways all night, you up for that?” Maybe it’s because this conversation isn’t face-to-face and he has no idea what this person looks like, maybe that makes it all the easier for him to respond like he would in his head.
“I don’t mind, I’ll just be repeating whatever you say anyways.” They laugh again, a whine hiding underneath their tone. “Well, I don’t see how that would be fair at all.” Mark only chuckles and then there’s silence but not for long because the voice notices how he wasn’t going to say anything after laughing and jumps in before it can turn awkward.
“Why don’t you tell me your name instead?” The voice is back to its soft timbre and Mark’s heart starts increasing in pace. Should I tell them my real name? What if this is a scam and this is some stalking kill you type of service? Where’s the voice when you need it! Mark's internal debate was disrupted by the said voice. Stop freaking out and just tell her your name. This is probably the first and last time you’ll ever talk to someone. Mark’s thoughts are a bit of a dick no matter how right they were. He sighs and almost forgot how someone is waiting for him to respond.
“Are you still there?”
“Y-Yeah sorry. I’m uh, Mark. You can call me Mark.” He wants to hit himself in the face. Did you have to say your name twice?
“Mark–” Them saying his name is probably the highlight of the night, not the fact that he got the courage to call this sketchy place or that he stayed on the phone for as long as he did, nope. It’s his name falling from their lips in the smoothest way he’s ever heard it – or wants to hear it.
“Did you hear me?”
“Huh?” I didn’t hear a thing, I was just thinking about you saying my name.
“I said, Mark, do you know what Talk to Me does?”
“Um, you help people become better at talking to strangers?” He isn’t sure what it does, but he knows that’s what he wants to get out of this experience.
“Well, that’s not wrong. We try but ultimately, our goal is to make people comfortable with speaking aloud and yes, talking to strangers includes that. Are you comfortable with talking to strangers, Mark?”
Hell no. “N-Not really, no.”
“But you seem to be talking to me just fine.” He can hear that smile in their voice again, he knows for sure that they're grinning, they must be. Mark didn’t have any words because it’s true, he is speaking to them – a few words at a time – but he hasn’t hung up yet.
“That’s because…you uh…your voice is nice?” His own voice becomes meek towards the end and he regrets saying that but he gets to hear them laugh again – well it’s more of a giggle this time – so he doesn’t regret it that much.
“My nice voice is the only thing keeping you from hanging up?” Yes.
“No, of course not.” He mumbles and doesn’t sound convincing at all.
“So, what is it then, Mark?”
“I want to see if you can help me speak to strangers better?” He pauses before adding. “I lied. Your nice voice is the only thing keeping me on the line.”
There’s silence coming from their end and he tries to listen to the background noise, wondering where they could be or what they could be doing but he can’t hear a thing.
“I like your honesty, Mark but my nice voice and I hope we can help you in any way we can...talking that is.”
What other ways could you help me? Earlier thoughts of Johnny’s implication ran through his mind and he shivers while shaking his head. No, no.
“I hope so too. I really want to…be more comfortable and confident when I speak.”
“You already have some goals! That’s great, Mark! I’m gonna add a few more goals for you too if you don’t mind?”
Depends. “Like what?” He asks doubtfully. There aren’t many things he’s willing to do, mostly because he just can’t.
“Get the name of a random stranger and ask them about their day. Think you could do that for me?”
I would do anything – except talk to strangers – for you. Mark allows silence to flow through the phone but it doesn’t feel awkward this time around, at least not for him which is surprising.
“I can try?”
“That’s all I want you to do!”
“Hey.”
“Hey, are we starting this again?” They chuckled.
“No, just uh…what’s your name?” The voice goes quiet and then he hears a loud gasp, probably in realization.
“Hey! I don’t count! Did you really just try to trick me?” Mark was hopeful with the idea, even had his fingers crossed that they would go for it but this voice he had fallen infatuated with is smarter than that.
“I did but I-I’d really like to know your name?”
“Ask a stranger for their name and about their day and I might tell you mine.” They're smiling again.
“Okay, but how will I get in contact with you to tell you about this stranger?” Calling again wouldn’t work. This voice and the one he heard the first time were two completely different people.
“Let’s schedule a time and I’ll call you, how’s that sound?”
“Sounds good.” Relief is all he felt when they asked that, he hates initiating calls, even with Johnny. He thinks he hears some writing on their end.
“9 pm tomorrow?” Mark quickly runs through his schedule in his mind, noting he finishes around 7:30 pm on Fridays, plenty of time to hype himself up to pick up the phone when they call.
“That works for me.”
“Great, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Mark.” He didn’t want this honey voice to go but he’d never say that aloud, so he just mumbles an unenthusiastic goodnight but didn’t hang up the phone first.
“Sleep tight! Sugar dreams.” Ready to repeat after them-
“Sleep tight. Sugar—what?”
“Sugar dreams! Like sweet dreams! Now, tell me I invented something new and creative.” Their voice is firm on this matter, so he has no choice but to go along with it, chuckling in the process.
“You invented something new and creative.”
“Damn right I did.” Mark snorts and before he can say anything else, the call ends.