Chapter Text
"The reasons behind the famine. Mr Payne, please enlighten the class." Shit. Fuck. I was day dreaming. Again. The class fell about in giggles. Mr. Jones was waiting, an evil look in his eyes. I bit my lip.
"I take it silence means you can’t!"
I shook my head. "No, sir."
"No, sir. Is that all you can say? No sir. Where is your interest in your country’s glorious history?"
I shrugged, wrong move. Big time wrong move, he exploded. I closed my ears. I’d heard it all before, anyway. I didn’t mean to cause trouble. Be rude, or whatever. I guess my mind was just on a different plane. I did however catch the words ‘detention, one hour, every night.’ Shit, shit and double fuck, the day wasn’t going well.
So when the clock struck 3.30pm I found myself sitting in a classroom with my beloved history teacher. You’d think he would want to get home and not give up an hour of his free time to punish a very bored 16 year old for a simple gesture. But no. He was relishing this.
I was meant to be writing a 6,000 word essay on the Great Famine. I was doodling, writing odd lines that one day I might turn into a song. He didn’t care as long as I looked like I was doing something. That had been my first mistake. I should have been doodling in his class, giving the impression that I was intently taking notes. I would know in the future.
There was a knock on the door and Father Drake came in practically dragging a small blond boy in. The priest turned to Mr. Jones. "Can I leave Horan here for the detention period? I have a meeting."
Jones looked at the boy and nodded. The priest practically threw him on to a chair. "Don’t forget I want the whole of the chapter translated into Latin by tomorrow or we will have words."
The boy gave him a defiant glare. I recognised him as Niall Horan. He was in my year. In fact he was in some of my classes when he turned up. We had never really spoken. It was a big year and Niall wasn’t the most popular kid around. I knew he’d been beaten up a few times. If I saw him round the streets of Mullingar, which wasn’t very often as I lived out of the town and Niall lived near the actual town, he was usually with his brother or a girl from the local convent school. Usually a different girl. He was quite a ladies man I gathered from local talk, which kind of explained the other lads' dislike.
It soon became apparent that Niall had no intention of any translating. He didn’t even open the book. He just sat looking round the room. Then he met my gaze. I blushed. Conscious that I was staring but to my surprise he smiled. It was a lovely smile, and I found myself smiling back.
He scribbled something on a piece of paper and glanced at Jones. He was marking, no doubt ripping some poor bugger’s history homework to shreds. You could see from his expression he was enjoying every minute of it. Niall slid the paper across to me and returned to looking innocent. Come to think of it - that’s the first thing I noticed about Niall. The way he could look so innocent, so angelic and be a somewhat real bad boy underneath.
I opened the note. ‘What crime have you committed then? And how long did you get?’ I smiled and scribbled the answer.
‘Daydreaming. Insolence. One hour for a week. How about you?’ Heart thumping I pushed the note back. Jones was on a roll, red pen criss-crossing furiously! If Niall had stripped stark naked I don’t think he would have noticed. I felt myself blush at the thought and I mentally changed the subject.
Niall grinned at me as I reached for the note. ‘I was in RS. Asked about . SEX. Got a fucking great Latin translation and an hour tonight. But I bet I’ll be in all week.’ I had to stifle the laughter. Niall looked like some choirboy, sat there, uniform neat and tidy. I was getting to like him.
I got to know him pretty well that detention, though we never spoke a word. You can say quite a lot in an hour’s worth of notes. especially when the vindictive bastard taking the detention is hell bent on failing 90% of his pupils.
"OK you two, you can go now. Don’t forget Payne, same time same place. Tomorrow."
"Yes sir!" Jesus I’d die of boredom.
To my surprise, Niall was waiting for me. "Hi. I’m Niall Horan, in your maths group."
"Liam Payne." I took his outstretched hand. It was cool and his grip was surprisingly strong. He was much smaller than me. Nicely styled blond hair and amazing blue eyes.
"Thanks for keeping me company."
I laughed. "I had no choice."
"But you didn’t have to join in."
"I was bored too. Will be bored for another 4 nights, in fact."
"Jesus, just for daydreaming."
We stood talking a while. I was late anyway as there wasn’t another bus. Niall didn’t seem to be in a hurry either. I learnt he was almost exactly two weeks younger than me and the youngest of him and his brother, and that he his parents were foster parents to two younger kids. Oh and that he liked music and performing. He kept talking about that. I liked him from that first moment. He had so much get up and go, so much life and energy. I wondered why I had never noticed it before. I had no idea of how long we stood there but we were interrupted by his mobile ringing.
"It's OK mam. I got detention, then I got talking. I’m fine. No, no one’s had a go at me. I’ll tell you later. No. I wasn’t rude. OK I’m coming."
He hung up and gave me an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Mam gets worried since I got beat up. She wondered where I was. I should be going."
"That’s ok. You’re pretty lucky to have your own phone." I blushed when I realised what I'd said. Practically everyone had their own phone, except for me that is.
He grinned. "Not really. It was because I got thumped so many times."
"Oh. Why? Why do they pick on you?"
He shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe because I’m a little... different. Anyway, I hope I’ll see you around Liam."
"Me too. You know I actually enjoyed that detention."
Niall nodded. "Same here. See you."
"See you." And I really hoped I would.
I didn’t see Niall the next day as we didn’t have maths. Normally that pleased me. I hated maths, but today I was kinda disappointed. I wanted to see Niall again. You never get what you want, though.
So I sat in detention. Bored, as I didn't have Niall to distract to me this time. Jones was decimating another class’s Leaving Cert. hopes. Then the door flew open with a lot of force. It was Principal Richards dragging Niall in with him. Niall looked pale and certainly not as cocky as the night before.
"Mr Jones. Horan shall be joining you in detention for the rest of the term." I dropped my pen in shock. Shit, what had Niall done?
Jones’s big ears pricked up, and an evil smile spread over his face. He looked at Niall, Niall stared back proudly. I never saw Niall back down from anything. Whatever it was - he faced it head on.
"Oh, and if he doesn’t sit still, it's because he’s just had a good thrashing too. Sitting’s going to be painful for a while."
Niall eased himself onto the seat and laid his head on the desk. I figured he didn’t feel like communicating. I couldn’t have said why, but I felt sick at the thought of him hurting. So I just watched him. He was pale, and I could see red welts on his palms. I hoped he was OK. Jones was ignoring him. Whatever he’d done must have been major. That was a slow hour. Niall didn’t lift his head from the desk. Finally the hands clicked to 4.30pm.
"OK gentlemen, until tomorrow."
Niall didn’t move. I gently touched his shoulder. "Niall. We can go. Do you need a hand?" He shook his head and carefully stood up. Staring straight through Jones, he walked out of the room and into the school yard. Then he threw up in the flower bed!
"Are you OK?"
"I will be. Fuck, that hurt. It feels like I’ve been used for footy practice. Oh shit, there goes my place on the team this term."
That was Niall. All he could think about was how a term’s detention would affect his sporting success.
"Niall. What the fuck did you do?"
He smiled. "I upset Drake in RS again."
"Jesus what did you do? Tell him you weren’t a virgin, ask him if he was?"
Niall laughed. "No. I asked what was wrong.. what was so evil about being gay?"
I looked at him. "Just to upset him?"
Niall bit his lip, no longer smiling. "No, not really. I just, I wanted to know. After all that’s all we hear.. that being gay’s the worst, dirtiest, most evil thing to be. I just wanted to know why."
"Oh." I was a bit thrown. I didn’t know what to say.
But Niall hadn’t finished. "Because - because I think I’m gay."
I never knew silence could be so loud. We stood looking at each other, for an eternity.
It was Niall who broke the silence. "I guess, I shouldn’t have said that. Bye Liam."
He turned to walk away but I had to stop him. "Niall, wait."
He faced me. "Liam. Please."
"Niall, you shouldn’t walk home alone. I’ll walk with you."
"You don’t have to be nice to me. You must hate me. Everyone else does."
"Do.. do they know?"
He shook his head. "No. Not yet, but they will. Won’t they?"
I shook my head. "Not from me."
"Why?"
"Why? Because you trusted me with a secret. And it will stay a secret. That’s what friends are for, and I hope we’re friends."
There was a questioning light in his eyes. "You want to be friends with me?"
"Yes."
"Jesus Liam. Are you sure?"
"Of course. You’re funny and smart and we both love music. I think we’ll make great friends." I was shocked at myself. Niall thought he was gay - and I wanted to be his best friend. If it got out, we’d both be outcasts. But the truth is - I didn’t care.
Niall smiled. "Thanks Liam."
"There’s nothing to thank me for. Now, lets get you home."
Niall lived in a comfortable semi. It appeared Richards had been in touch with Niall’s parents. His mum looked curiously at me and then turned to Niall.
"Oh son. You OK?"
He grinned. "No. It bloody hurts, but I’ll be fine. Don’t fuss. This is Liam Payne. My friend." There was pride in his voice.
"Pleased to meet you, Liam. Will you stay for tea?"
Niall’s eyes were pleading. I nodded. "Can I let my mum know?"
"Sure. Phone’s there."
Mum was OK. She wouldn’t have been if she’d known about Niall. Mum and dad are a little.. old fashioned in their views. As are most of Mullingar. If Niall was gay - he wouldn’t have it easy! That was a certainty.
"Mam. What did dad say? He isn’t going to belt me, is he?"
"What for? Asking a simple question? No, of course not. He was worried about you, that you were OK."
"I’ve told you. There’s no need to fuss. But if he wants to kick Richards teeth in, I won’t stop him."
"Niall!"
"Will I have to do the detentions?"
"Yes. That’s the bit of the discipline I didn’t have a problem with."
"Well, I bloody do! I’ll be off the teams this term."
"It's not the end of the world. You might actually catch up on your studies. Now stop sulking. Eat your tea. Remember, you have a guest."
Niall’s house was warm, welcoming and friendly. After tea, he took me into the music room.
"Do you like singing, Liam?" I nodded and he sat down at the piano. The first of many times he played for me.
Later on I sat in his small room. He shared it with his brother Greg, but Greg was at uni. So it was Niall’s. And his stuff was everywhere.
"You’ve got a great voice Liam."
"So have you."
He shook his head. "No. Not really. I can hold notes because I’m musical, I know how they should sound but you. You’re something else. When you sang I wanted to cry. One day, you’ll be famous Liam."
"So will you."
He laughed. "I doubt it."
"I’ll make you a bet. A fiver says we’ll both be famous by the time we’re 21."
"OK you’re on! Lets put it in writing."
Laughing - we signed the paper. Then Niall looked at me. "And will we still be friends then?"
I hugged him. A quick unconscious gesture, but one that meant the world to him. "Of course we will be! Friends for life." He hugged me back. Just as briefly.
"Friends for life." I had never seen a smile so sweet.
I enjoyed that evening at the Horan’s and it was the first of many. They made me feel welcome. I also met Niall's younger foster sister and foster brother, yet in some ways he was treated as though he was the youngest. Something I found strange but never got round to asking. It was so different to my home. I was the oldest, so it was always "You have to set an example to your sisters Liam!" OK I didn’t want to be bad, but I couldn’t be perfect. I didn’t want to be perfect. I wanted to be me. I wanted someone to love me for me. In the Horan’s noisy, relaxed house I could be whatever I wanted to be and I realised even from that first night that the reason behind Niall’s confidence in himself was all because of his parents.
"I’d better go." It was getting late.
Bobby, Niall’s dad smiled at me. "I’ll run you home son."
"You don’t have to. I’ll be fine walking."
"No. I want to. I’ve seen Niall get thumped too many times. It's no trouble." Niall bounced into the car with me. He seemed to have forgotten the belt he’d had. He was a bundle of energy and I felt part of that. It was a wonderful feeling. One I couldn’t ever remember having around any of my other friends.
"This is it." We pulled up outside the cottage I lived in. It was a quieter, more exclusive area than the Horan's. "Thanks for the lift Mr. Horan. See you tomorrow Ni!"
"See you Liam. And thanks."
I waved, knowing what he meant.
So that was how NIall and I got to be friends. Through a detention. We saw a lot of each other that term, mainly in detention. I didn’t TRY to get detention. It just happened. My daydreaming skill saw to that. And of course Niall’s smart mouth had ensured he was a regular visitor. But we saw each other after school and at weekends too. For the first time I had a reason to go into Mullingar town.
I’m sure we both had had friends before but we clicked in a way that rarely happens. Suddenly I was spending all my spare time with Niall. We were both doing junior cert. that year. It was only natural we studied together. Or more truthfully, spent the time listening to music or writing songs.
He never mentioned his sexuality again and I never asked him. When he wanted to talk, he would. I knew that. And I never felt uncomfortable around him either. Of course he hadn’t said he was gay. Just that he thought he was, but deep down I knew the truth. So we had a wonderful summer, getting to know each other. Only looking back, we never really managed that. Not until the year we both began studying for leaving cert. It was the autumn term, and I guess we both came of age.
"I’m just off to Niall’s mum." I picked up my bag. "I’m staying over so don’t expect me back." I didn’t think she’d have a problem with it, but she looked at me.
"You’re spending a lot of time with Niall these days. Don’t you have any other friends?"
"Yes, of course. But Niall and I have a lot in common."
"You should mix more. It's not good to be totally wrapped up in one person. And isn’t it about time you started dating?"
"Mum! Drop it. Niall’s my best friend. Didn’t you have a best friend? And dating? I go to an all boys school. It doesn’t happen that easily." I turned to the attack. "Don’t you like Niall or something?"
"I think he’s a well mannered and charming boy." There was a reservation in her voice. I waited for the ‘but’, but it never came. I remembered that conversation months later though.
Niall was sat at the piano. He was studying for his grade 7. As Maura let me in, he flashed that amazing smile. My heart lurched. God he was gorgeous.. and I almost fainted with the shock that I thought like that. I wasn’t gay, I had never given my sexuality a second thought. I fancied girls, even if they didn’t fancy me. I couldn’t be attracted to my best friend.
"So are you going to this dance on Saturday?" He made me jump.
"Don’t know. I can’t get home."
"Don’t be stupid. You can stay here. I think it will be a laugh. The Loreto’s girls are going." It would be a chance to meet girls socially. It made up my mind for me. I nodded.
Almost all of the upper school of St. Mary's College were there, as well as the Loreto’s girls. It was a good night. I lost sight of Niall pretty early on – he was usually surrounded by girls. But that night I came over as pretty popular as well and I had more than my fair share of dances. As the music slowed down, I found myself in the arms of Danielle Peazer. A pretty brunette. I knew I was going to get my first kiss that night.
The earth didn’t move and that’s not to say she wasn’t a good kisser, because I guessed she was. It just didn’t turn me on. I couldn’t wait to make my excuses and leave. Then of course I ‘lost’ Niall. I found him sat on the low wall outside the Arts Centre, looking very pissed and very miserable.
"Whats up mate?" I hiccuped – I’d had a bit to drink as well.
"Nothing."
‘Come on Ni. I know you." I put an arm round him. something I had done a thousand times. To my surprise he pushed me away with force. "What the fuck was that for?"
"Leave me alone." I was tempted to say 'with pleasure', but two things stopped me. One, I had to share a room with him that night and two; well, he was my best friend and he was hurting big time.’
"No, Niall. I won’t. What's bothering you?" He didn’t answer for a long time. just sat staring at the outline of Mount Street, biting his lip. I sat down on the wall next to him, giving him space. Just as I had given up he turned to me.
"Me! I’m what's bothering me."
"I don’t understand."
"Tonight. I felt so out of place. Alone."
"Niall, everytime I looked, you were surrounded by people. I couldn’t even get near you."
"People I didn’t want to be surrounded by. It's so easy for you, Liam. I saw you with Danielle. I could never dance with the person I fancied like that in a million fucking years." I realised then it was about his sexuality. In 5 months, he had never mentioned it, but of course he must fancy people – just as I did.
"So there was someone there you liked." There was no point in asking whether they were male or female. He’d answered that question. He nodded sadly.
"Oh Niall!" What could I say? Briefly I wondered who it was. There were lots of good looking lads. Sean Cullen, Harry Styles, Andy Samuels. It went on and on. But it didn’t matter who. They were off limits to Niall. I saw the first tears sparkle in the moonlight and pulled out a tissue.
He took it and blew his nose loudly. "I’ll never be able to do that. Dance with the person I love here in Mullingar."
I shrugged. "Ni. I don’t love Danielle Peazer. I hardly know her."
"You had your tongue down her throat and your hands all over her arse." Niall sounded.. Jealous? Why the fuck was he jealous? He didn’t want Danielle Peazer, or any other girl!
"It was a dance Niall. We’d had a bit much to drink. You know what it's like."
"No, I don’t. I never have the urge to kiss a girl because I’m pissed." He wasn’t making much sense here. "Oh god Liam. I’m sorry. It's just.. I didn’t ask to be gay.. and its so hard. So fucking hard." He looked so lost. So alone that I wanted to cry. I couldn’t say anything. Words wouldn’t make it any better. I reached out and tried to rub his shoulder, but he still flinched away from me. Not as violently as before, but it hurt me just the same.
"Niall."
"Liam. Please don’t. Just don’t. You don’t understand."
"I understand you’re my best friend and you’re hurting."
He muttered something under his breath that I didn’t quite catch. "Niall, what did you just say?"
"I said its time we were getting home. Come on!" He hadn’t said that. But I didn’t want to argue with him. He was sad enough. Luckily no one was up to see the state we arrived home in. Niall said very little. He flopped onto his bed and lay with his back to me.
"Ni. You haven’t undressed."
"Can’t be bothered."
I lay in the dark watching him. I knew he wasn’t asleep. The moonlight shone through the crack in the curtains and illuminated his blond hair. The soft curves of his body. His shoulder. His hips. I noticed everything about him. The little noises he made. The almost imperceptible shaking of his body. I felt I was seeing him for the first time.
I ran through the night in my mind. How my first real full on kiss had left me wanting. How Niall had watched me. How I had watched Niall. Hurt at his pain and the rejection I’d felt when he pushed me away. And suddenly it hit me. What he had said. "You can’t understand that its you." Or something like that. He had been telling me I was the one he loved, and could never have.
I lay on my back, heart beating wildly. Niall loved me. It was obvious now. But what about me? How did I feel? I loved him as my best friend. More than I loved my sisters at times. But did I love him like that? Because I had to be sure. I couldn’t take his heart and then give it back.
I had never considered the possibility of loving another boy, that I could be gay. It just wasn’t an idea that would ever occur in our house. It was wrong and you would burn in eternal damnation for it. But then I thought about Niall. I had known he was gay from the start, and it hadn't put me off him. In fact, I had a closer friendship with Niall than any friend I had ever had. He was everything I’d want in a partner. We had a laugh. We liked the same things. We saw things the same way. 99% compatible
And physically I had often looked at him and thought how beautiful he was. His thick blond hair (OK he dyed it but it looked natural. The Lord had slipped up, he should have been a natural blond.) His small slim yet muscular body, with a delicious milky coloured skin, and those eyes. Oceanic. He was gorgeous, and I did find him attractive. Almost casually, I wondered what it would be like to kiss him.
And then I knew. I loved Niall in every sense of the word. As a friend. and as a would be lover. I didn’t think I was gay. Nine boys could have walked in the room and I wouldn’t have been interested but if the tenth had been Niall. I was lost.
I remembered his words. ‘I’ll never be able to do that. Dance with the person I love here in Mullingar.’ I slowly stood up.
"Niall!" I whispered.
"Liam. Go to sleep."
"No. Niall." I walked over to his bed and shook him gently. "Dance with me Niall."
He turned over. ‘What the fuck are you on about?"
"Dance with me. I just realised that.. that.."
He just looked at me. "Liam, you’re not making any sense whatsoever."
‘Would you dance, if I asked you to dance? ’ 'Hero' by Enrique Iglesias came to mind, as I softly sang that line to him, before I blurted out something entirely different. "Niall. I.. I.. love you."
He went pale. "Liam. Please. You don’t realise.."
I cut him off. "Realise what? That you love me? I can see it Niall. I can feel it."
To my surprise he burst into tears and turned away burying his face in the pillow. "No. Liam. Don’t do this to me. You don’t have to say you love me out of pity. You’re making it worse."
"Niall, I do love you. Why do you think we get on so well from the very beginning? I’ve always felt differently about you to any of my other friends. I just didn’t know why! But now I do. Niall, please look at me."
He rolled over, and my heart leapt. He was so vulnerable. So in need of someone – me!
"Liam. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to fall in love with you. I’m so sorry."
"Niall. Please believe me. I’m so glad you did." I gently touched his cheek, an unconscious gesture, just so that I could catch his teardrops. "Now will you dance with me?"
He gave me a puzzled look. "Why?"
"Because you didn’t get to dance tonight. And I didn’t get to dance with the person I loved. Please."
He smiled through his tears. "You’re so beautiful when you plead, Liam. I can’t resist you."
He got out of bed and turned the radio on very low. There was some late night station playing love songs which was perfect. He stood before me and I was conscious of the fact that this was really happening. That I had just told my best friend that I loved him and was now going to touch him and hold him in a way that I had never dreamt of.
Slowly I wrapped my arms around him. His narrow waist. I could feel him shaking with nerves and with desire. His arms reached up and encircled my neck, resting on my shoulders. We started to move slowly to the music still hesitant and a little space between us. My hands travelled up his back and he shivered. Then he leaned forward and buried his face in my neck.
"Liam." It was only a whisper, but I felt like I had waited all my life to hear it. Without any more hesitation I pulled him close. So close that the lengths of our bodies touched, that his legs were in between mine. So close, I could feel his heart beating against my chest.
I kissed the top of his head, and I kissed his soft silky hair. I actually burried my face in its softness and in the clean smell, then I reached his forehead and planted a gentle kiss there as well. His whole body seemed to surge forward. It was strange. Niall was the one who had always been certain about his sexuality, but he was the uncertain one now. Well maybe uncertain isn’t the right word. Nervous or hesitant. I had no hesitation. I loved this person before me and I wanted to show him in every way possible.
His hands tightened on my neck, pulling me down towards him. His face was upturned towards me and in the moonlight that shone into the room, his eyes sparkled. There was a slight, almost nervous smile on his lips. The moist soft lips I wanted to feel so much.
Slowly, with infinite care, our lips met. Niall’s mouth was soft and sweet. I don’t know what I had been expecting, but it wasn’t this. Wasn’t the moist gentleness. The unique taste. The slowly increasing pressure as his delicate pink tongue sought entry to my mouth.
My hands were tangled in his hair, holding him so I could continue the relentless onslaught. I opened my eyes for a brief moment, just so I could fully appreciate the moment. Niall’s eyes were closed in ecstasy. His hair falling over them. With a sigh I opened my mouth slightly accepting the questing tongue and giving my own in return which he accepted eagerly. Our tongues battled happily before he conceded defeat and his mouth was mine. I explored it curiously. This was heaven. This was so right.
Of course we had to break for air, although I still remained close. I was unable to pull away, anyway. He was panting for breath. Even in the dark I could make out his flushed cheeks and his wide sparkling eyes.
"Oh Liam.." he breathed. and buried his face in my chest.
"Oh Liam, what?" I gently teased.. "Oh Liam, you’re a lousy kisser. Oh Liam, you’re wonderful. Oh Liam, I made a mistake." The last part was said with dread.
"Oh Liam, just shut up. And kiss me again."
"Gladly." My heart surged as I tilted his face towards me, and our lips met again.
We kissed most of the night, gradually getting bolder. My hands travelled up and down Niall’s back, finding the bottom of his shirt and slipping under it. His skin was warm and satiny soft. I slowly ran my palm over his flat stomach. He quivered violently, and began to breathe erratically as the tips of my fingers met with his hard nipples. I knew how aroused he was. I could feel his hardness against my thigh, and I was sure he could feel mine too. To be honest I wanted nothing more than to lay him on his bed and give him blessed relief from the throbbing in his groins and then relieve my own relentless surging in his beautiful body. But I didn’t want to rush it. Not this first time. I wanted our love making to be the sun and moon and stars, and I wanted us both to be sure. To know what we wanted. And not just be carried away with the lust of the moment. So all too soon, I broke apart.
"Liam?"
"Niall. I want to make love to you, but I want it to be the right time. Not rushed. You understand?"
"I guess so." He seemed kind of down, but I kissed his nose.
"Niall, I want to lose my virginity to you. And remember it for all the right reasons. We have all the time in the world."
He nodded. "I’d better go to the bathroom."
I heard his soft cry as he reached his climax, then he came out from the bathroom. I pulled him to me in a gentle hug. "Next time I’ll do that for you."
He smiled back wickedly. "I’ll hold you to that."
I went to the bathroom and quickly relieved myself, all the time imagining Niall’s ethereal beauty as I did so. When I came back Niall was laid on his bed, his duvet only half covering him. "Come here and hold me Liam. All night."
I never thought I’d be able to do that. Climb into bed with my boyfriend (yes I was thinking like that already) when his parents were just upstairs above us. But with Niall - it was just simple. So simple and right. I squashed up against him. Not a lot of room in a single bed and I wrapped both my arms round him tightly. Feeling his heart beating rapidly. My legs rubbed against his. It would have been so easy to lose control again, but what was even better was the feeling of completeness that lying next to Niall brought me.
"Liam?" I had thought he was asleep.
"Yes?"
"You are sure, aren’t you? That this is what you want?"
"More than anything. Are you?"
"Oh yes, but.."
"Then no buts, Niall. Just sleep. OK?" I kissed his hair once more. He snuggled against me contentedly.
"Liam, I.. love you!"
"And I love you too, babe."
"Forever?"
"Yes."
It's easy to say. Easy to mean. But far harder to keep, as we were both to find out! But that night all that mattered was Niall – in my arms. And in my heart.