Chapter Text
It had been three years. Three long years since they had last met with Kurt. The work of X-Men and the all twists and turns of the fate, new mutants, new threats, new enemies and so on pulled and pushed both Kitty and Kurt so that sooner than they had realized, they had found one another driven to different continents. Kitty stayed in Chicago, handling personal matters and trying to live like a normal person for a while with studies and all, where the Lady (Un)Luck had tossed Kurt all the way to Germany. What did he exactly do there, Kitty didn’t know, as he always circled the matter saying it was partly classified and perhaps it was better if Kitty knew as less as possible about his work. Yet, Kitty had gotten an impression that Kurt was going through some personal “shit”, and his work was somehow difficult. She had told him many times over Skype that she’d be willing to listen whatever he had in his mind, but Kurt had always replied with a smile – a smile which looked a bit forlorn or tired, depending of the day – and told all was fine.
Last week, Kurt had dropped some positive news out of a blue; he would be arriving to Chicago. Immediately Kitty had cleared her schedule and suggested they’d meet. Kurt had been more than willing to see Kitty as soon as he had landed and settled into his hotel. Kitty had offered to come to pick Kurt from the airport, but Kurt had wished she’d concentrate on her studies; they could meet later the day.
And now, there she was; in her favorite café waiting for Kurt to arrive. She had been a bit too early, so eager and anxious to meet her long-time dear friend. Oh god, it felt like an eternity the last time they had met; it hadn’t supposed to take this long. The last time they had been in the same place together, they had planned to spend a movie night with friends but then life just happened. Whirling her spoon in her coffee Kitty thought that perhaps that’s how the adult life just was. So much busier and more demanding than life in teenager years. She hoped her live wouldn’t get much hastier from this, as she already had her hands full at age 23.
After some time, which felt like a long torture with butterflies having a race in her stomach, Kitty spotted a familiar face from the door. She waved her hand at Kurt, reaching up as high as she could, and she couldn’t help her wide smile. Nor the flutter of her heart when Kurt navigated through the full café to her table. Smiling Kitty rose up from her seat to capture Kurt into a tight embrace.
“Oh, Kurt! It is so nice to see you!” Kitty breathed out happy, earning a quick kiss on her cheek from Kurt.
“The pleasure is all mine,” he simply replied, breaking the embrace. He kept his arms on Kitty’s shoulders and inspected her face with tenderness. “I’m sorry. A gentleman should never keep a lady waiting.”
“Oh no, I was here too early,” Kitty replied. She reached to her purse. “What do you want? My treat and there’s no declining that offer.”
Kurt took his jacket off and laid it on the backrest of his chair.
“Double espresso would be nice.”
“Anything to eat?”
“What do you recommend?”
Kitty gave Kurt a knowing look.
“I’ll bring you something nice,” she grinned rather impishly, earning a chuckle from Kurt.
He took the empty seat, brushed his hair backwards and sighed. Kitty was already heading toward the queue line. She returned surprisingly quickly with the double espresso and two parfaits. Kurt laughed heartily when Kitty placed the tall ice-cream glass under his nose.
“Kitty, Kätzchen,” he chuckled. “What are we, five?”
“We are full grown adults who can do anything they want, like eat parfaits at 7pm”, Kitty replied wittily, taking her seat. She watched as Kurt lifted the white espresso cup up to his lips, flashing Kitty a grin.
“I thought parfaits were more like a date thing.”
“If you don’t want it, I’m more than happy to have two parfaits myself,” Kitty replied, reaching her hand playfully to Kurt’s parfait. His tail rose up from the edge of the table and stopped Kitty’s hand by placing protectively in front of the parfait glass.
“Greedy,” he kept grinning. “I’ll eat mine, danke schön.”
Kitty dipped the tall spoon into her ice-cream. The smile from her face disappeared. Even when Kurt’s fur absorbed light partly which kept his eyes almost always hidden in the shadows, Kitty could tell Kurt was tired.
“How has it been?” she asked, unsure should she really dig into what was bugging Kurt.
Kurt leaned back in his seat and sighed; his tail curling back behind the chair.
“The flight was tiring, and the hotel is lousy. It’s so expensive to find a good place,” he replied.
“I didn’t mean that. How’s your work been? You didn’t tell me why you had to come here?”
Kurt groaned slightly. He placed his cup on the table and leaned against his elbows, his eyes fixating on the parfait in front of him. His fingers tapped together.
“It’s… Well, it’s over in Germany,” he replied, again with the familiar circling of the matter. He took a spoonful of his dessert, inspecting it almost gloomily. “But you know, X-Man’s work never ends, does it?”
“So, you’re here for work?” Kitty inquired.
Kurt’s side of a mouth crooked a little, but his eyes remained sad.
“Ja und nein,” he said. “I might need to return to Germany. It is a home but so is USA, too. I don’t know how I feel about it all to be honest. Everything is… still a bit unsure. Uncertain. Germany’s project ended but the work in this world never ends, Kätzchen.”
Kitty was sure now that Kurt had a burn-out. He was so kind, so caring. Always placing others and their well-being above his own needs. Always so humble and there if someone needed him. She wondered how much his past had affected him; if his empathy was higher than others because of it all.
Slowly Kitty reached out and placed her palm gently over Kurt’s fingers.
“I think you need a break, Kurt. A vacation,” Kitty said, brushing his fingers.
Kurt laughed dryly, amused.
“Ja, do I!” he agreed but to Kitty it sounded more sad than humorous. “I think we all do. I reached out Rachel and she’s gotten her hands full with some classified work together with her girlfriend. Bobby is in Australia for what I know with a smaller team hunting down some illegal anti-mutant activity. If I recall right, Logan said he… has some issues with his private life due all the work demanding his time.”
Kitty frowned, letting go of Kurt’s hand.
“I head about Rachel as we’ve been keeping in touch. Meggan and Brian are having sort of an easy life now because Meggan is expecting their first baby, but everyone else is super busy.”
“Life on an X-Man!” Kurt dramatically spread his arms. Then he leaned closer to Kitty, curious. “Meggan and Brian are expecting?”
“Yeah, the baby should be born in a few months,” Kitty nodded.
“Ah, verdammt. I would have missed that completely if you didn’t tell me. What kind of a friend and an old teammate I am if I didn’t congratulate them for this?”
“Busy,” Kitty noted and before Kurt could say anything, she pushed her head closer to Kurt, leaning over the table. “Let’s send them a card. Together. I have their address.”
“Already?” Kurt’s eyebrow rose. “Aren’t the cards supposed to be sent after the baby is born?”
“Well, yeah, but we could congratulate them about the pregnancy. Though, if you want, we can find a card, sign it and I’ll send it from both of us when it’s the time. I… I suspect you might not be here when the baby is born?”
Kurt’s eyes closed with a deep, deep sigh.
“I don’t know, Kätzchen. I have no idea where I’ll be then. Perhaps here, perhaps in Germany, perhaps bunking at Brian’s and Meggan’s neighborhood. The work’s like that now,” Kurt lamented, seemingly upset for some reason. It made Kitty worried as Kurt had always been very excited and ready to face anything the life had to offer to him. She blamed his burn-out and stress for Kurt’s state.
“So, to card shopping after parfaits?”
Kurt smiled with his eyes to Kitty, despite his tiredness.
“Ja. Let’s find something which looks nice and you can send it anytime you like. Is it a boy or girl?”
“Ah, I don’t know,” Kitty admit biting her lower lip. “Let’s buy both?”
Kurt nodded, agreeing with the plan. He returned to his coffee.
“I guess when the baby is born and both parents are fine with it, we should pay them a visit. Or at least send them a present.”
Kitty liked his plan.
They kept pacing back and forth at the card isle, rummaging rough baby cards. They weren’t sure yet should they actually go with the plan and buy two cards – one for a boy, one for a girl – or should they just choose a cute card which would work as a baby card for both. Kitty had two cards in her hands, and she kept weighting their pros and cons regarding their designs.
“Kurt, what do you think about this?” she asked lifting the card which a baby carriage to Kurt’s, but he didn’t hear her. He had a card in his hold, and he was staring at it with a melancholic expression.
Kitty sneaked next to him and took a look at the card. It was for a baby girl – nothing unusual in it – and as soon as Kurt noticed her, he jerked his head up and offered Kitty a smile. A smile which didn’t reach his eyes.
“Ja?”
“I was thinking this might be the best one of these two,” Kitty tried again, showing him the card which she liked the best. “What do you think?”
“It’s a good one,” Kurt said, putting the card he had been holding back to the shelf. His hand picked a card for a baby boy. “How about this in a case it is a boy?”
Kitty had a feeling that something was very, very wrong. Perhaps Kurt really needed to go to rest. Perhaps he had agreed to meet her despite of being tired and overworked, because that’s how Kurt was. If so, she should let him go to sleep asap; he must have a jetlag, too.
“I like that. So, let’s take these two and send them both, just in case,” Kitty agreed, taking Kurt’s card. “I’ll pay.”
“Oh nein,” Kurt snatched the cards quickly from Kitty. “You paid at the café, let me get these.”
Kitty lifted her palms up and allowed Kurt to lead them to the cashier – who gave a strange look at Kurt, something they both had already used to – and then she followed him out from the store. He stopped turning around and grinned with the cards in his hand.
“You can write the other, I can write the other,” he said. “Do you have a pen?”
“No,” Kitty replied, taking one of the cards with her. “We can meet again and write these then. When would be the best time for you?”
Kurt pushed his card to the breast pocket of his jacket, humming.
“I don’t know yet, Kätzchen, but I’ll let you know as soon as possible,” he apologized. “I’ll walk you to your bus stop.”
“You have to go already?” Kitty asked, face falling. She had hoped they could stroll around a little longer, but Kurt’s shake of a head shot down Kitty’s plans.
“I’m sorry. I have some work I promised to do today before I go to sleep.”
“Is it about the Germany’s gig?” Kitty had to ask. Kurt looked a slightly uncomfortable.
“Ja.”
“But you said it’s over?” Kitty tried to keep up with Kurt and gently prompt him to say what was behind his tired façade.
“I also said I might need to return to Germany,” he reminded with a tiny smile. “Don’t worry, Kätzchen. All is fine. It… It has just been rough time the last years. The project was… unexpected and emotionally difficult.”
“You are making me worried, Kurt,” Kitty admitted, snaking her arm around Kurt’s upper arm. She gave him a concerned look. “This is not like you. I have never seen you like this. You know you can always talk with me about everything, right?”
“Ich weiss, ich weiss,” Kurt sighed, summoning up to his showman side with the dramatic gasp at the end of his sigh. “You are my best friend, after all.”
“This isn’t some ‘uugh I’m a manly man, I don’t talk’-thing, is it?” Kitty’s eyes narrowed quickly. Her stern expression made Kurt laugh out loud; the first genuine laugh Kitty had heard in ages.
“Nein, nein, nothing like that,” he promised. Slowly his hand came to over Kitty’s palm around his upper arm. “Like I said, don’t worry. All’s well.”
Kitty knew he was lying the big time, but she didn’t want to pressure Kurt into talking. She could only hope that he would open up later or be able to deal with whatever he was dealing with by himself; a thing he clearly insisted doing. She let Kurt’s lie slip past her.
“If it makes you feel better, I promise that after I have done my work for today, I’ll check my schedule and let you know when I’m free again, and then we can go to eat ice-cream again?” Kurt offered when Kitty was quiet a bit too long for a comfort.
‘Bribing me with an ice-cream’ Kitty though but kept the thought to herself. Instead, she hummed positively and squeezed Kurt’s arm tighter.
“A deal”.
Kurt allowed Kitty to hang from his arm all the way to her bus stop. There, he stood with her until the bus came, ignoring the odd glances from other citizens waiting for the bus to arrive. She looked concerned of him when the bus arrived, and it was time to kiss a goodbye. He pecked her cheeks, waved Kitty goodbye till next time, and stayed at the bus stop until the bus had driven away. Sighing, Kurt pushed his hands down to his pockets and headed towards nearest metro station.
Seeing Kitty was such a delight. It eased his nerves and relaxed his body, but at the same time, it allowed all the bad he had tried to push behind to surface. It was hard to keep the straight face in front of her. How did she even do that? Pushed his buttons just by existing? Bringing out such comfort it made it hard for Kurt not to gave into that and relax completely, forgetting all that had happened in Germany.
It felt like an eternity the last time they had met. Kitty was still her own bright and stubborn self, and if Kurt was honest with himself, prettier in live than he remembered.
He took the metro to his hotel, ignoring again the looks he got whenever he was out without any disguise. He had made a decision not to use any disguises anymore; he was done with hiding. Partly, he had to thank Kitty for that. She had insisted that he was fine the way he was, and if she got used to Kurt’s looks, everyone would. Kurt had mulled the thought over and decided that it was the best. It would work as being a good role model for other mutants who had visible mutations like he did. There was no need to hide; he was God’s perfect work, like everyone else, too.
The hotel room on 4th floor was tiny. It barely fit a bed and a small nightstand and TV and it smelled like mold. But it was better than nothing. Kurt had slept and spend time in more horrible settings during his life, and if the shower didn’t properly work and if the bed was creaky and walls so thin you could hear what the other people around the hotel were doing, Kurt was fine with it.
Anything now but his time in Germany.
He took a seat on the bed and reached out for his tiny laptop. If he was quick, he could take a shower after this and head the bed early, if the shower worked and had warm water longer than five minutes. As the laptop’s screen light up, Kurt’s face fell.
A notification of an email. He had not checked his phone.
“Ah, verdammt,” he cursed scratching his head hastily. “Bad news, bad news…”
Kitty was concerned of Kurt. His swashbuckling happiness was gone for some reason and it had to be Germany’s fault. Wrapping herself more comfortable under her fluffy blanked Kitty frowned, her lips pursing. Was it because he had a past in Germany and it reminded him from his past wounds, or had something else happened in Germany? If so, what it could be to upset Kurt so much? He was always so positive and kept his un-beat personality even when they faced troubles. Even when there had been issues with Excalibur team, Kurt had always wound his way back to his natural state of positivity. The only time Kitty remembered Kurt looking a bit down was when his relationships hadn’t worked the way he had wished.
She froze. Kurt had looked especially sad and forlorn at the card isle while they browsed the baby cards. What… what if Kurt was sad because something related to relationships had happened in the Germany? Three years was a long time, anything could happen! An uneasy, tight feeling rose up to Kitty’s throat. Did Kurt have a lover in Germany? Had he met someone? Did he have a child there? Had he fathered a child during these three years and now he was lamenting that he wouldn’t be able to be together with his child because his work took him globally here and there? What if he had broken up with the mother of the child and was now mourning the loss of both of them? Perhaps he had escaped Germany to USA to get some breather and to heal his heart?
The more Kitty thought about the possibility that Kurt had met someone and was now a father, the worse Kitty felt. It… It couldn’t be! But all the signs were there! Kurt was famous for his adventures with the women and to Kitty, it seemed all too carefree. A surprise offspring wouldn’t really be that big of a surprise in Kurt’s case the more one thought about it. Kitty almost wanted to say it was a surprise Kurt had no accidents sleeping in cribs.
It felt wrong. Wrong and horrible. Kitty’s head fell and she could feel how tears started to form up to her eyes. If Kurt was a father and he had some problems with his child, of course Kitty wanted to support him. Kurt had always been so kind and supportive to her, so it would be only fair to return his kindness. But, it hurt her. The though of him lingering in the arms of some faceless woman and cuddling a baby of his own with his own family hurt Kitty worse than anything ever. She had nurtured her crush for Kurt for so long, secretly hoping things would somehow change but this, this option she was now facing, hadn’t even crossed her mind. She wiped her eyes onto her sleeve, sniffing. Idiot. She was an idiot. And she was late. Too late with her crush. Not that Kurt thought like that of her. She wasn’t exotic or blond or busty like his women so far had been. Perhaps he saw her too young. Too naïve. It felt stupid and utterly childish but as long as Kurt was single, there was hope. If he was a father, then it was too late in a big time for Kitty.
She didn’t think she could tell him about her crush anymore, even if she found courage for it. It would make things only complicated. Sadly, Kitty reminded herself that Kurt was always very straightforward with women; if he had gotten his eyes on her, he would have already made his move.
But he never did. Instead, he disappeared to Germany for work and returned as a man with a deep mournful look in his yellow eyes.