Chapter Text
Kitty couldn’t sleep. She hated to admit it, but Kurt had been right; she was thinking his work in Germany, pondering what she had gotten herself into while insisting she could help Kurt. She had never seen Kurt so upset before and Kurt if anyone was a person who always landed on his feet.
Kurt was sleeping in his bed, next to Kitty, his head in her gentle but firm hold. He looked peaceful, snoring, and Kitty has hard time imagining just what he had gone through – and he made it sound like it was something he had needed to go through all alone. She bet all the team members were shocked – well, perhaps not so much the authorities who worked with these kind of things daily – but Kurt and other mutants had taken some damage. Kitty pondered how they had even found Kurt and asked him the first place and why they hadn’t told him what was really going to happen? Perhaps they had feared Kurt would decline and a teleporter who could walk in darkness easily was a good asset for their mission.
Kitty whirled his curly hair around her fingers slowly, watching Kurt’s peaceful face. He was still holding on her, only because Kitty had insisted that she wouldn’t let Kurt sleep alone this night. She needed some support herself, too, but she hid it behind her care for Kurt.
She was happy that his turmoil wasn’t due some woman and illegitimate child. At the same time, Kitty couldn’t help herself feeling upset and utterly stupid for suspecting Kurt for something like that, while he was being tormented by the darker side of the humanity. She looked at his forearm, which rested over her stomach. These hands hadn’t been embracing faceless women in Germany but saved children from molesters. Kurt had saved many lives and done it despite it hurt him. Oh, how stupid Kitty felt herself now!
Staring at the ceiling Kitty’s fingers kept playing with Kurt’s hair, never waking him up. She needed to ask some details of this work and remind Kurt that they should keep it hidden from her parents. It was a blessing they both had needed to leave to L.A at this time. She and Kurt could now concentrate on the work and cry against one another if needed, without having Terri or Carmen hovering around them, worried. They would leave Kurt alone but squeeze the answers for their worries out from Kitty if they were here. Perhaps it was their way of trying to compensate their distance to Kitty while he was in England with the Excalibur.
Kurt had mentioned that there was not much to do, that his work in Chicago was almost over, but after his next hit to a hidden lair, he would know more if the team still required help in Germany.
“Why did you come alone?” Kitty asked over her laptop, alerting Kurt who was circling places on the map with a red marker.
“Alone?”
“Rest of your team is in Germany, right?”
Kurt straightened his back and tapped his chin with the other end of the marker.
“Mostly. If I recall right, Annie and Geralt left for France because Geralt is fluent in French. Annie is a mutant, she can see through objects no matter how thick the material would be.”
Kitty’s ears perked.
“So you all are spread here and there?”
Kurt hummed.
“Hmm, sort of. This is a big international league. Trafficking has crossed many borders and kids are being dropped here and there. It’s…” he took a pause, his hand dropping. “… basically, a slavery route. Who pays the best gets the kids. The… the youngest ones pay the most…”
“But you came to Chicago alone,” Kitty returned to her question, ignoring what Kurt had just said about the children because she didn’t want to think about it in detail.
“I’m not the only one. Aino went to Latvia alone, bless her brave soul. We have people stationed in all continents, also local mutants and people in different countries helping the authorities to find all culprits. I came here alone because I requested it. We had no prior contacts in Chicago and… Well, frankly I didn’t want X-men to get into this. I thought I can handle this myself and this is a secret operation. X-Men’s presence would not help us.”
“Is that why you declined my idea of Logan joining us?”
Kurt nodded, returning to his map.
“Ja. Logan is famous. Well-known. I’m somewhat well-known, too, but I can hide and disappear easily whenever I want, unlike Logan.” Then he smiled, looking more or less amused. “Logan’s too hot-headed. He’d shredded everyone into pieces, and we don’t want to kill anyone. A life-long vacation in a prison is a better punishment that an easy way out with a death.”
Kitty listened to Kurt’s explanation and watched how he marked another spot with a red marker. He gestured Kitty to come closer.
“This is were I will need to do the raid. Any idea how I can get there the easiest?”
Kitty looked at the marked area and informed Kurt of the different possible routes he could take.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come along? I could phase the kids through walls,” she asked and as expected, Kurt turned her down.
“Absolutely positive.”
Kurt folded his map, surprising Kitty. She followed him to the mud room where he was pulling a jacket on him.
“Are you leaving now?”
“Ja.”
“I—I thought you’d bust the place at nighttime.”
“Ja, that would be beneficial for my fur’s ability, but during the day everyone’s calm and rarely in alert. They don’t expect anything to happen. Besides, I need to meet with the authorities who operate here with me. I can’t handle it all alone. There’s one other thing, too:” he stopped, turning to Kitty with a smug small grin. “The bad guys see me the best when it’s the daytime. You should see their faces, Kätzchen. They look like the Satan himself would have arrived from Hell to claim their souls. They do know that what they are doing is illegal, horrible, sinful. They don’t care about the kids, but they care about their own asses and boy, do their care about their souls.”
Kitty had to smile for that. She patted him on his upper arm through his jacket.
“I bet you can bring them a good show, the old showman you are.”
“Ja!” Kurt breathed out, his fangs visible as his grin spread wider and wider. He stroke a pose with chest pushing out, shoulders back. “I give them a scare for a lifetime. Though if there are kids, I remove either them first or kidnap the criminals quickly enough so the kids won’t see me or what happened. I don’t want to scare the children. They have already been scared enough…”
“Hmm, I bet the kids are a bit freaked out by you…” Kitty admitted sorrowfully.
“They tend to take me very well after the initial shock. Little ones don’t care. Most of them find my fur and tail soothing and comforting,” Kurt explained but then his face fell, getting serious. He stared in front of him without blinking for a second, cleared then his throat with hasty blinks and turned towards the door. Kitty didn’t ask what Kurt had just remembered or re-lived.
“I will be back some time at late night. Please, don’t call me. I’ll be unable to answer”, he simply said.
“Okay, stay safe,” Kitty wished him well, hugging his back and patting his lower back when Kurt stepped outside the door.
Kitty woke up to a sound of shower being turned on. She was resting in her own room upstairs and when she reached to her phone to see what the time was, the clock said 1am. Kurt had been gone longer than she thought. She got up rubbing her eyes and went to the bathroom door, knocking it softly.
“I’ll be out in a minute!” Kurt’s hasty voice replied before Kitty had even knocked three times.
“No need to. Take your time. Just wanted to check if you are okay?”
“Fine. Fine. Really hungry though.”
“I’ll make you something.”
Kitty dragged her feet to downstairs and checked cupboards for something. She made a note that they needed to do some grocery shopping with Kurt. Gathering all what she needed on the counter, Kitty decided to make tea and sandwiches for both of them. She placed yogurt on the table together with apples just when Kurt was returning back from his showers. He tussled his hair with the towel, wearing a bathrobe. He looked exhausted.
“Rough day?” Kitty asked, pouring him tea as he took a seat from the kitchen table.
“Could say so,” he sighed, inspecting one of the sandwiches closer.
“It’s ham and cheese and mustard,” Kitty noted.
“Gut.”
“I can make eggs, too.”
“This is enough, thanks.”
“Did you catch the bad guys?” Kitty asked taking a seat near Kurt. Kurt munched his bread in silence.
“Ja. It caused some commotion and a few people ended up to a hospital, but nothing fatal.”
“Did you get hurt?” Kitty’s brows immediately knitted together.
Kurt didn’t reply, just muttered something vaguely which Kitty couldn’t make out. She basically bolted up from her seat and took hold of Kurt’s left hand, yanking it towards her. He winced in pain.
“I knew it! I saw how you were holding your arm differently when you came down,” Kitty scolded Kurt, pushing his bathrobe down from his shoulder. There was a big bruise, visible through the fur, and some cuts which had stopped bleeding. Kitty frowned. “I’ll go get antiseptics. Take your bathrobe off.”
Kitty phased upstairs and returned back with a first-aid kit. Kurt had done as told and was sitting on the kitchen chair with the bathrobe dropped down to his waist. Kitty spotted another long cut on his upper back.
“Kurt!” she half-yelled him, miffed. “You have cuts all over you!”
“Ah, not all over. Just some on the left side,” he defended himself, inspecting Kitty taking antiseptic bottle and some cotton pads. She was muttering angrily under her breath. “There’s really no need to clean the cuts. I cleaned them in the shower.”
“You’re in my house and we have my rules. Sit down and be quiet,” Kitty was clearly angry that Kurt had gotten himself hurt. He didn’t dare to talk back, but sat down patiently, allowing Kitty to wipe his wounds. “Where else you have cuts and injuries?”
“On my side,” Kurt said, lifting his arm up and revealing another set of cuts. “One of the criminals was a mutant with superfast cutting ability. Took me by surprise and managed to injure me.”
“And you didn’t go to doctor because?” Kitty asked, kneeling down to take care of his side.
“…Because it’s not that bad? And because I’m needed. We got another hint. I need to raid it tomorrow.”
“With that arm?” Kitty gestured towards his bruised shoulder. Kurt’s face fell.
“The kids need me, Kätzchen,” he said quietly, giving Kitty a sad look from underneath his thick brows. “I can’t quit now. This is nothing. I have had worse injuries than this. They’ll heal in a few days. I’ll manage with a good dose of painkillers tomorrow.”
Kitty wanted to argue but she knew Kurt’s head couldn’t be turned when he had set his mind onto something. He saw that his words didn’t convince Kitty.
“Kätzchen, the longer I idle the longer the children suffer.”
“I know, I know,” Kitty sighed, changing her smeared cotton wipe to a clean one. “This is just reminding me of the time you got really badly hurt…”
“You mean the time I spend in coma…?” Kurt asked carefully, unsure should that be brought up.
“Yes…”
“This is nothing compared to that. Don’t worry.”
“Did you catch the mutant?”
“Ja, we did. Tranquilizers work really well on any target, so does rapid teleportation,” Kurt grinned. He hissed when Kitty hit a sore spot on his side.
“Hmm, this one here is starting to bleed again. I need to cover it up. Don’t swing your arm around too much, the sticky pad doesn’t stay well on a fur,” Kitty advised. She patched the leaking wound up and got up from her knelt position. Then she checked the bruise, moving Kurt’s arm around.
“Doesn’t seem broken, just bruised,” she muttered to herself.
“Ja, that’s what I said. A minor injury.”
“I get some ice for you,” Kitty let go of his arm and fetched a frozen beans bag from the freezer. She gave it to Kurt, who had put his bathrobe fully on again. He took the offered help with his thanks, looking bashful.
“Danke for this. And last night, too.” he said, avoiding Kitty’s eyes. “I have not slept that well in months.”
Kitty could feel the blush creeping up to her cheeks, but she pretended she wasn’t going to blush.
“It’s nothing,” she replied casually, taking her seat. Kurt was still staring at his lap, clearly searching for right words to say to Kitty. Kitty leaned on her palms.
“You can spit it out,” she encouraged Kurt, dead curious to know what Kurt had on his mind. Her heart was beating loudly.
“I... I was just wondering if I could sleep next to you this night, too?” he lifted his gaze up slowly. His face was sincere and apologetic at the same time. Vulnerable. Kitty had never seen Kurt looking like that. She blinked, boggled.
“O—Of course,” her answer came out with a slight stammer. “We could make a bed on the floor with two mattresses for more space?”
They agreed on the plan, ate well and headed then to bed when clock was closing 3am. Kurt stretched with a big yawn to his full length on the mattresses, wincing when his stretching hurt his side and shoulder. Kitty gave a scolding stare at Kurt.
“I told you,” she said, taking his arm into her hold. “Don’t overdo it.”
“I won’t,” Kurt whispered, fumbling softly with Kitty’s fingers. He was quiet and Kitty waited almost anxiously what he was going to say. A car driving by illuminated the room with its headlights for a short moment. Kitty saw how tears had appeared on Kurt’s cheeks.
“Fuzzy...!” she cried, got up to her elbows and snuggled closer to pull Kurt against her. She hugged him through his sniffs, petting his hair.
“Sorry. It was a rough day, that’s all.” he finally found his voice again, muttering his apology against Kitty’s collar bone. His lips felt soft.
“How long until this mission is over?” Kitty asked.
“Hmmm, I don’t know. A few weeks? A few months? More information and criminals in this mess seem to pop out in every raid.” Then he wrapped his arm around Kitty and sighed deeply, his breath brushing over Kitty’s neck. “The truth is, Kätzchen, that this work never ends. We end up one ring, we leave hundreds of others. Thousands of others to hunt the children. Gott, Kitty, it is almost hopeless when you think about it.”
“It’s not hopeless for those kids you have saved,” Kitty reminded him tenderly. “Don’t beat yourself up, Kurt.”
Kurt didn’t reply but Kitty knew he understood what she meant.
“Kätzchen. Thank you. Thank you for being here for me. I… It would be a lot harder without you,” Kurt whispered after some time had passed.
Kitty ignored the extra leap her heart took.
“I’ll be always there for you, Kurt. Always,” she promised with flared cheeks, hugging him tenderly closer. Kurt let out a pleased hum from his throat, snuggling his face against Kitty’s collar.
“I’m happy to know that. You and Logan are the only ones who have ever been there for me whenever I have needed help or support.”
“Oh, are you comparing me to Logan now?” Kitty took a sharp look at Kurt, noticing how he grinned now.
“That was a compliment.” He paused. “And well, you do share some similarities. Perhaps that’s why I have clicked with you two so well. I love you both.”
Kitty was sure her face was scorching hot now.
“And you have actually told Logan you love him?” Kitty asked.
“Ja.”
Her nose wrinkled.
“I don’t recall you telling me that. Are you into Logan?”
Kurt’s head rose up, his yellow eyes staring Kitty straight. She blushed even harder under his focused gaze.
“Ja, I have not told you those three words. I… I was fearing that it would ruin us if I spoke those words out loud to you. You know, the women I have swore my love to have always left me sooner or later.”
Kitty didn’t know what she should have replied. Was that… a confession? What she imagining things? She laughed, trying to ease her nervousness.
“Ah, so it’s sort of a bro love thing, gotcha,” Kitty replied hastily; a bit too hastily for Kurt. She mentally smacked herself for such a stupid reply: There was an opening right there for her to ask how Kurt felt about her but she was a chicken and now she had ruined the moment…!
“Kätzchen, you know I prefer women, but I wouldn’t ignore a man either would I find myself in love with a one. Haven’t met anyone like that yet, though, but as a concept, I’d be fine with it.”
Kitty sensed how a cold wave of shame rushed over her. Hastily she corrected herself.
“No, no I… sorry, I said a stupid thing. I didn’t… I mean, you know me, I had a crush on this girl when I was twelve.”
“Ja, I remember you telling me that. I haven’t told anyone, like promised.”
Kitty was still feeling uncertain of the whole chat. How had it even gone to this? She swallowed and chuckled slightly.
“So, uh, which one you’d choose; me or Logan?”
Kurt’s eyes widened for a second before he broke into a heartful laugh. He laughed this genuine laughter Kitty had missed a lot.
“Kätzchen, Gott, you are horrible,” Kurt shook his head, turning on his stomach. His gaze never left Kitty, and she turned her head to look back at Kurt. She knew he could see her blushing.
“Just curious. You’re the one who brought this up.”
“As a friend who loves his friends!” Kurt cried but his amused grin never disappeared. “What, are you hoping to be my bride’s maid or a flower girl in my wedding with Logan?” he joked.
Kitty laughed. She liked how the air in the room had gotten from the gloom and doom back to playful. Just like it had used to be between them. Like in the good old times when they amused one another with stupid jokes and “what if”-questionnaires of all imaginative possibilities where the other had to choose what they would do in such a “what if”-situation. She pooped Kurt’s nose.
“You didn’t answer.”
“Pooping my nose won’t grand you any answers.”
“What will?” Kitty asked with a low voice. Her thump run over the side of Kurt’s face to the side of his mouth, and over the corner of his lips. Kurt’s lips parted slightly.
“An honest question,” Kurt replied, his eyelids closing half-way. Kitty tilted her head slowly; her finger now under Kurt’s chin, where his fur was thicker and harsher.
“Which one would you choose, if you had to; Logan or me?” she asked again with a soft tone, eyes soft and inviting. The redness on her cheeks had crept all to way to her ears but she ignored it.
Kurt pushed his head closer to Kitty, admiring how her hand dropped down, traveling along his neck and the uninjured shoulder.
“You,” he breathed out with a husky voice, just inches from her face. “If I had to choose, I would choose you. At any given day.”
“Because I’m a woman,” Kitty noted with a chuckle, but Kurt shook his head slowly, never breaking his eye contact with Kitty.
“No. Because it’s you, Kätzchen.”
Kitty swallowed, her heart starting to race. The way he whispered the Kätzchen… She opened her mouth slowly.
“Really?” she asked, her chin tilting upwards, closing Kurt on its own.
“Ja,” Kurt breathed out, his head coming lower.
“You’re just teasing me, aren’t you?” Kitty’s lips were almost touching Kurt’s mouth.
“Nein. I would never.” His words traveled over Kitty’s moist lips like a soft summer breeze. Her gaze dropped to his lips, then returned back up to his eyes. Once more down to his lips and then, up to his yellow eyes. Kurt took the hint and closed the empty space between their lips gently. The kiss was sort, simple, sweet, unsure. Testing, tasting, asking. When neither one complained about the just happened frail kiss, Kitty dared to kiss Kurt again, initiating the connection. Kurt approved it with a small hum, eyes closing.
“Kurt…” Kitty broke the kiss with a small whimper, ashamed of how weak he made her.
“Ja?” he asked, shivering.
“God, Kurt, we just kissed…!” Kitty breathed out a mall gasp, her palm rising up to her lips where the pressure from Kurt’s lips still lingered.
Kurt grinned playfully.
“Ja, und it wasn’t bad at all, if that’s what worries you.”
“I’m… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have… I don’t want to ruin what we have…” Kitty stammered, light-headed. Things had advanced to this point on their own faster than Kitty had anticipated. Actually, she had never anticipated that she could get this close to Kurt. What if this ruined their friendship?
“If you need time to think, I can wait,” Kurt replied quickly, caressing her face with a calming manner. “I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”
“You would…wait for me?” Kitty asked, unsure.
“Yes.”
“What?” Kitty yelped, pushing herself further away from Kurt to see his face completely. “Wait? Don’t tell me you…. Oh God, Kurt, have we been pinning on one another?”
Kurt’s tail whipped lazily from side to side.
“Hmm, seems like it?”
“You have a crush on me, and you didn’t tell even when you go courting every single damsel you encounter?! Kurt, that’s not fair,” Kitty whined dramatically.
“Ah, I… had the same fear as you do,” Kurt said, his head pressing down. “I didn’t want to ruin what we have. You are my best friend. What would happen if I made a move on my best friend? What if you freaked out, told you didn’t think the same about me? Could we still continue on like nothing had ever happened?”
Kitty bit her lip, thinking.
“Fair enough.”
“At least we’re on the same page with fears and what we truly want, ja?” Kurt offered.
“Yeah, it seems so,” Kitty smiled, feeling suddenly like the happiest person on the planet. “I’m sorry this came out like this. I mean, I was hoping for something more romantic.”
“I can arrange some romance when my work is over,” Kurt promised. “Until that, will a kiss do?”
“Yes,” Kitty replied, her lips already brushing over Kurt’s, who welcomed Kitty’s kiss with parted lips.