Chapter Text
The Avengers all offload from the Quinjet, returning from yet another completed mission. It of course had its own complications, but nothing that the Avengers couldn’t handle. Everyone walks ahead of you, in high spirits and ready for a fun evening. Tony had already invited everyone to have drinks later on and almost everyone agreed, excited to celebrate a successful mission.
You trail behind the rest of the group, removing your helmet from your suit and tucking it under your arm with a grimace on your face. The suit you wear was designed to allow you control over your abilities, designed by Tony Stark himself. It was also built to help reduce the pain you felt throughout your body at almost every moment, however that feature seemed to work less and less as your condition worsened.
Your powers were something you both loved and hated to have. You gained them when you were just a child, a result of a massive accident during a school field trip to a lab which you don’t entirely remember. Immediately after the accident you felt different, and you discovered that you had 'powers’ fairly quickly.
Your body started phasing sporadically, something you had absolutely no control over and something your parents had no clue how to deal with. The pain that came with your powers also began, and though it wasn’t too bad at first, by your teen years you were in constant pain as your phasing worsened.
By that point Tony Stark had somehow found out about your abilities and had recruited you to be an Avenger, offering you your first suit. You always had a sneaking suspicion that your parents had somehow contacted Tony, though he never told you how he found you. You knew your condition was a lot for them to handle and you always had the feeling they didn’t want to deal with it anymore. Luckily, Tony had given you a new home at the Avengers facility and over the years you had come to think of all of these people as your family.
“Hey, great work today, Y/N!” Steve pulls you from your thoughts as you continue following the group back inside Avengers HQ.
“Yeah! You were amazing as usual!” Peter adds on.
“Thanks,” you reply, forcing a small smile on your face. Carol continues walking alongside the others, though she doesn’t miss your forced interaction as she silently watches you. When you all finally get inside the facility, everyone takes off in the directions of their respective rooms to get ready for the night.
You begin slowly making your way to your own room.
“Hey there, hotshot. You want someone to walk you to your room?” You turn your head to see Carol as she falls into step with you, a small smirk on her face.
“If that someone is you, then always,” you say and gently smile at her. Despite your pain, Carol never failed to bring a smile to your face, and that was something you were always thankful for. Her smirk morphs into a smile that matches your own and she holds out her arm for you. You gratefully accept her offer and grab her arm, allowing part of your weight to lean on her without making it seem too obvious.
If Carol notices you leaning your bodyweight on her, she thankfully doesn’t mention it as she walks you down the hall towards your room.
“Are you going to come and have drinks with everyone tonight?” She asks, and judging by the soft expression she carefully aims at you, she already knows the answer before you even have to say it.
“I don’t think so,” you say with a shake of your head. “I’m pretty beat after that mission.”
Carol waits a beat before she replies. “Is the pain bad?” She questions gently, always able to read you like a book.
You hesitate for a second. “A bit,” you reply, ducking the truth slightly. “I’m just tired.”
Of course, all of the Avengers know about the side effects that come with your abilities. The pain you experience has always been the biggest cause of concern, though none of them know just how bad it’s gotten. Realistically, you know you have to tell them soon. But you don’t want to appear weak to any of them, afraid that if you do then you wouldn’t be allowed to work any more missions. And that’s not to mention Carol. You don’t want her any more worried than she already is about you.
When you reach your room, Carol turns to face you and shifts her hands to your waist to steady you. Apparently you weren’t as subtle as you’d hoped.
“Do you want me to stay with you?”
“What? No, Carol! Go have fun!” You insist.
“Are you sure?” She asks.
“Yeah.”
She looks you up and down, searching for any signs of discomfort, something you’d gotten good at hiding around others. She seems satisfied enough, nodding at you.
“Okay. You’ll let me know if you need anything?”
“I will. Now go have fun.”
Her thumb strokes your side where her hand still rests and she’s clearly hesitant to leave you, but she eventually closes the gap between you to lightly kiss you.
“I love you,” she whispers against your lips.
“I love you too,” you reply and smile at her before she walks off towards her own room.
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Once you’re in your room and safe from prying eyes, you lean against the door and let out a breath that you’ve probably been holding for too long to mask the pain that ran through your entire body. Thankfully, you’re wearing your suit and at least have some control over your powers, stopping you from phasing in front of anyone. You consider just keeping it on, but the pain relief it usually offers you seems to have become only slightly effective and the suit isn’t the most comfortable thing to wear, so you decide against it.
You unzip the suit and prepare yourself. As you slip out of it, you watch your hands immediately flicker, pain shooting up your arms. Once you are completely out of the suit, your body phases without your control and you fall to the ground, groaning in pain.
After a few moments you are able to pick yourself up and you walk towards your bed. You take a glance at the mirror on your wall and you watch your body flickering, afterimages of you body following as you walk. You can practically feel every cell in your body being torn apart over and over again.
It’s a few hours later when you find yourself sitting at the edge of your bed. You were unable to get any sleep, your body shaking from the pain. Your hands flicker as your bring them up to your face, sobbing out of frustration and pain.
You don’t hear the soft knock at your door but you do hear the gasp that fills the room a moment later. Your head shoots up to find Carol standing in your open doorway, frozen in the action of opening your door. Her concerned eyes are trained on you and you’re surprised to see her to say the least.
“Carol. What are you doing here?”
You get to your feet to walk to her and she watches with wide eyes as your body phases and your face contorts in pain. She rushes to you and is able to steady you with her hands on your waist, but when you move your hand to rest it on her arm for support it phases out, moving straight through her arm.
“I knew something was wrong earlier so I wanted to come back and check on you,” she quickly explains as she leads you back to your bed. When you reach it she makes sure you’re securely seated before kneeling in front of you, finally getting a good look at your tear-stained face.
“Oh my god. Y/N, why didn’t you tell me it had gotten this bad?” She’s clearly trying not to panic. Carol Danvers never panics, but you see her wracking her brains to try and come up with a way to ease your pain.
“I didn’t want to worry anyone,” you weakly offer.
“But if you told us then maybe we could have helped before it got this bad.”
“It’s not like I can be fixed, Carol,” you say defeatedly. “This is only gonna get worse.”
You can practically see Carol’s mind racing still. She grabs your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckles.
“We’ll find a way, baby. We won’t stop trying until we find a way to fix this.”
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Tony is expectedly upset when Carol breaks the news to him that your condition has progressed much further than anyone had realised. As he and Bruce run several tests on you, he doesn’t stop talking about how he could have done more to help you had you told him sooner. You feel guilty, knowing now that keeping this from everyone has just made them all even more worried about you than they would have been if you hadn’t hid the worst of it from them.
Tony and Bruce immediately get to work in one of the labs, brainstorming different ideas and ways to help possibly cure your condition. You’re sitting on the couch next to Carol, nervously playing with the new bracelet that’s secured around your wrist. Tony had designed it, based on the same technology he used for your suit. You weren’t quite sure how it worked but it alleviated some of your pain and most importantly kept your body from phasing.
Carol watches you fidget with it for a few moments before reaching for your hand, squeezing it tightly. You let out an exhausted sigh, glad the bracelet can keep your body in check enough for you to relax as you rest your head on Carol’s shoulder.
Nat, who has been pacing up and down the length of the lab impatiently while the two men bounce ideas off of one another, stops abruptly and turns to them.
“Okay, we’re just wasting time here. Let me call Scott.”
“Scott?” Bruce questions. “He’s no scientist-“
“No, but we already know he knows a hell of a lot more about quantum physics than we seem to.”
Bruce and Tony turn to each other, a silent conversation occurring between them, before Tony shrugs.
“Fine. Call him down. The others, too.”
Nat nods and immediately steps out of the room to call Scott. Tony runs a hand through his hair roughly in frustration, grumbling to himself and clearly upset that there seems to be no simple solution to your problem.
Bruce watches his friend and places a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.
“Hey, Tony. Listen, it’s getting pretty obvious that we might need some help here, right? So how about we wait for Scott and Hank to get here before we try anything else. Okay?” Tony sighs heavily, his eyes on his friend before he unhappily nods.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Alright.” Bruce looks over to you and Carol for a moment, Carol’s arm wrapping around you and keeping you close to her. “Come on, let’s get out of the lab for a while,” he says and pushes a reluctant Tony towards the door, nodding at Carol as their eyes meet. The door shuts behind them and you and Carol are left alone.
“How are you feeling, baby?” Carol says, breaking the silence of the now quiet room.
“I’m feeling like Nat’s first comment was right. This is just a waste of time.”
“What?” Carol shifts to look at you, making you lift your head from her shoulder. “What do you mean?”
“Well, if there was a permanent cure, don’t you think Tony would have found by now? I mean, he’s a literal genius.”
Carol sighs, her heart heavy at the defeated tone of your voice.
“Babe. As much as he may act like it, Tony isn’t an expert in every field. On the other hand, Scott knows a lot about this stuff. And Hank and his family know even more about it. If anyone’s gonna help find you a cure, it’ll be them.”
You’re still filled with doubt, although you have to admit that Carol’s positive energy does offer some sort of hope to you.
“At least the bracelet seems to be helping for the time being,” you offer and Carol nods, squeezing your hand that she’s still got a hold of and pulling you back to her side, pressing a kiss to your head.
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Scott arrives at the Avengers facility as quickly as he can, alongside Hank, Janet and Hope. Once they’re completely up to speed on your condition, and they see your test results from earlier, they all share looks among one another. They tell the group about a friend of theirs that they tried to help who had a similar condition to you. Ava, also known as Ghost.
“The two conditions are incredibly similar. Perhaps even the same, although I believe that Y/N’s conditions has progressed much further than Ava’s did.” Hank speaks clearly but quickly, the entire group listening intently to his words.
“We need to work quickly to ensure that her body will be able to absorb all the quantum energy it needs quickly, but also safely. She will need to travel within a specific area of the quantum realm for this to work and we don’t want her to be in any more danger.”
It doesn’t take them as long as you expect before they have what appears to be a fully functional machine, specifically designed for the sole purpose of you absorbing quantum energy.
“We haven’t run any full tests, but we believe the chance of anything going wrong is little to none.”
Carol stands opposite Tony and Hank, her arms crossed and she looks at both of them skeptically.
“You’re sure?”
“We’re pretty confident, Carol,” Tony says reassuringly.
“This machine has been built specifically for Y/N to absorb quantum energy, not to travel the quantum realm,” Hank explains. “Yes, she will enter the quantum realm briefly, but it will be within a confined space. While she’s in that space, her suit will give us her location constantly.”
“Basically, she can’t get lost,” Tony adds on.
“Okay. I’m trusting you.” Carol offers a stern look to both men before turning and making her way to you. She helps you finish putting your suit on, besides the helmet, and studies you for a moment.
“How are you feeling, baby? You’re still wearing the bracelet Tony gave you, right?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “I haven’t phased at all since I put it on and the pain’s not too bad right now, so I think I’m feeling okay.”
“Good. Make sure you don’t take it off until this is all over, okay?”
You hesitate only for a moment before you nod in reply. Of course, Carol picks up on your hesitation.
“What is it?”
You see no point in hiding anything from her now. The last time you hid something from her, it obviously wasn’t such a great idea. So you sigh and meet her eyes.
“I’m scared,” you admit. ”I’m not sure if I want to do this. I mean, god. What if I never come back, Carol.” Your voice wavers slightly and Carol is quick to try to calm your fears.
“Hey, baby. Calm down, just breathe. It’s okay, I just talked to Tony and Hank and they have total confidence that this is going to work.” You try to calm your slightly erratic breathing and though you still feel terrified, you feel Carol’s hands landing at your hips, offering some immediate reassurance.
“I promise you it’ll be okay, Y/N.”
“You promise?” Carol’s grip at your hips tightens slightly.
“I promise.”
You take a steadying breath and a small smile forms on your face. “Okay.”
Carol pulls back so she can grab your helmet. She holds it in one hand as the other gently grabs your face and she places a soft kiss to your lips.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” you whisper back and Carol presses another quick kiss to your cheek before gently pulling the helmet over your head and making sure it attaches to the rest of your suit.
“Y/N, we’re ready to go whenever you are,” You hear Tony shout from one side of the lab.
“I’ll see you in a minute, baby,” Carol says, a reassuring smile on her face and you nod at her before walking over to the quantum chamber that had been built for you. You step in and the door shuts behind you. You nervously look over at Tony, who is accompanied by Bruce and Hank at the control panel.
“Okay, Y/N. When we hit this button right here, you’ll be sent to a confined space within the quantum realm. The suit you’re wearing has been designed to help your body safely absorb massive amounts of quantum energy, which in theory should cure your condition. We’ll count to five, press the button again, and you’ll come back to us. Got it?”
You hold up your thumb to affirm that you understand, and Tony nods.
“Great. Alright, let’s do this. See you soon, kid.”
He starts counting down from five and you take a few more calming breathes before he finishes counting and presses the button. The quantum chamber suddenly flashes with bright light, and when the light fades, you’re gone.
Carol watches anxiously from behind Tony as he begins flipping some switches. “Okay, let’s bring her back. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.”
Carol holds her breath and Tony presses the button once again. The bright flashing light returns, filling the chamber. When it fades, however, the chamber is still empty.
“Uh. Okay, that’s not right,” Tony mutters quietly to himself, double checking every switch on the control panel before he presses the button again. Once again, the quantum chamber flashes, yet you still don’t reappear.
“Tony, what the hell?” Carol says tensely.
Just give me a minute here,” he replies just as tensely. Hank starts checking the control panel with Tony too, and Bruce brings the monitor closer to him to take a closer look at the information it presented.
“Tony…”
“What?” Tony asks. At Bruce’s silence, he looks up and looks at the monitor that Bruce is now pointing at. “Wait, no. That can’t be right.”
“Somebody better tell me what’s going on,” Carol snaps out, fists clenched as watches the three frantic men at the control panel.
“We- we lost her”, Tony says in disbelief. Carol flinches back slightly at his words.
“We lost her? What the fuck do you mean we lost her?” She feels sick even having to ask the question.
“Her suit has a built in GPS. It’s been sending us a signal and her location was showing up on this monitor before. But now it’s just.. gone.” Bruce keeps his eyes on the monitor, though the readings don’t change.
Carol’s face is furious as she steps forward.
“What, so just like that we’re supposed to accept that she’s gone?” She growls out.
Natasha approaches her to place a hand on her shoulder. “Carol-“
“No!” Carol easily shrugs Nat’s hand away and she steps back sheepishly, still in shock herself. “I can’t accept that!” Carol feels her skin begin to heat up but she doesn’t have the capacity to care about it as she scowls at the scientists across from her.
“You told me this would work! I trusted you and now she’s gone!”
Tony leans on a nearby desk, lowering his head into his hands. “I don’t get it. It should have worked.”
Carol scoffs. “Yeah, well it didn’t.” She begins to glow out of her own control, her fists and her eyes lighting up as she glares at the men. Hank visibly cowers at seeing hints of Carol’s powers for the first time and moves to stand behind the control panel.
“Carol,” Steve says in warning and Carol turns her head to look at him. He clearly carries pain his his eyes at the events that have just occurred too, but he stands strong opposite Carol and shakes his head slightly at her.
The glowing of her body dims, her eyes returning to normal as her gaze softens towards Steve briefly. A second later, she fixes her glare back towards the three scientists and raises a finger towards them.
“You better fix this,” she growls darkly in warning before she turns, releasing a photon blast which hits a desk, and storming out of the lab and finally letting her tears roll down her cheeks as she feels her heart break.