Chapter Text
Isn’t it grand
I picked up a pebble on the sand
It knows my hand
I taught the sea my song
And it sings it for me when I am gone
Seasons of rain
I bring my little river
The sea knows my pain
I gave the sea my tears
And they’ll cry for you when I am not here
Under the sun
All of the pebbles on the sand
Know why I’ve come
The sea knows what I’ve done
And it missed the sea toys that I took home
And it’s gonna miss me when I am gone
And it’s gonna miss you ‘cause we are one
- song by Melanie Safka, "Pebbles in the Sand"
Chapter 1
Serena sat on the edge of a fretted rock, looking out over the Celtic Sea. The rock dropped away sharply into the water beneath her. Waves were crashing at the schist stone below, and on each side of her. Only a thin strip of dry rock connected her to the almost vertical rock formation behind her. When she turned around and peered up, she could just see the bonnet of her rental car, high above her, and the small, steep footpath that had led her down here.
Those were the only signs of the existence of mankind. The sound of traffic, on the coastal road up there, was entirely drowned out by the crashing of the waves. She watched as a group of seagulls flew by, just above the waves, dipping into the foam, then swirling up, and letting themselves be carried away by the wind. Their cries, too, were drowned by the roaring of the water. Not another living soul could be seen or heard.
There were little pools of water in the top of the rock. Spray was spitting up at her every now and then, suggesting to her that the sea was quite capable of overflowing her perch.Tiny droplets were clinging to her vest and hair, mingling on her cheeks with saline liquid of another origin. She let her tears flow down her face freely. Even now, weeks after, she could still not unravel the tangle of emotions connected to her mother’s death. There was intense sadness, of course. But it was interspersed with relief, anger, and not a small amount of incomprehensible joy - a newfound sense of freedom to finally be her true self. But then again, she was sure her mother, throughout her life, had championed nothing but Serena growing into her own strength.Why should she feel freed from expectations only now? It was all so confusing, this mishmash of feelings, and it seemed entirely too much to contain within just one person. She was glad that she was alone here, with the sea - mother of all life, so she could let herself overflow for a while.
Raph had sent her here, right after their impromptu burial of Adrienne’s ashes. Well..he hadn’t sent her here exactly. He had arranged time off work for her, and had bought her tickets to Paris. But as soon as she had set foot in that beloved city, the memories of her trips there with her mother, as well as the overwhelming bustle of the crowds, sent her running into the nearest train out of there. She had picked a random regional train, and got out at the last station that the train took her to, which turned out to be Brest in Brittany. And here she was now, at the craggy coastline of Cap Sizun. She had been here for four days now, visiting the megaliths, roaming the beautiful landscapes, dining at quaint cafés. Today she drove along the coast line, and visited Pointe du Raz, which had been a little too touristy. She drove a while away from it, and walked down the steep path to be closer to the water. It was a case of ‘like being attracted to like’, she guessed, as the sea seemed to draw the tears from her.
It began to rain lightly. Even more water rushed to her aide, to cleanse her murky emotional state of mind. She didn’t bother to get up. The landscape around her, desolate and rugged as it was, gained yet another shade of despair,clouds getting denser, the shadows between rocks darkening, sea shades deepening - a perfect backdrop to her inner turmoil.
She hugged her knees to herself, and while the tears still dripped steadily down, while the drizzle still fell lightly upon her, the spray spat up, and the waves crashed around her, she began to hum. She didn’t even notice it at first. It startled her a little, especially when she recognised the song - an old french lullaby. She began to recall the words that her mother had sung to her so frequently. Not only her eyes were overflowing now, but her mouth as well. Words and melody spilled out. She sang the lullaby hesitatingly once, then again - much bolder. All the words came back to her now. She sang at full voice, singing the words into the wind and the waves! Her tears had stopped, the wheels in her mind had ground to a halt. It was just her voice versus the elements, wild and free!
Splatsh!
Something fell onto the rock, right next to her. She turned to look and then jumped up. A big brown lobster had landed, upside down, on the rock. Its legs were cycling up in the air. She looked around her. It seemed like someone had thrown the lobster at her. But of course that was folly. The sea looked as turbulent, yet desolately solitary as it did before. The rock wall behind her was rugged and silent. There was no one else around. A wave must have carried the unfortunate creature unto the rock.She poked it with her foot, and shrieked a little when it moved, but helplessly fell back into its upside-down position, it’s legs grappling with empty air. She used her backpack this time, to help the lobster to flip over. Then she gave him a firm shove down the side of the rock. She was too cowardly to look whether it had cracked its shell on the way down, or whether it was able to get away to safety.
Anyway, she reasoned, it was getting late now - she needed to go back to her holiday home, if she wanted to get back there before dark. She still needed to do food shopping too. No more time for nature preservation. She had done her best. She had gone beyond her duty already. She couldn’t be expected to rescue the wretched, wriggly thing twice, now could she? She turned around and made her way back up to her car.