Chapter Text
It hits them like thunder striking a mountain into half with the sheer force of it.
Rain pours heavily onto the rocky cliffs surrounding the Cloud Recesses, and its deafening roar is the only sound heard in all of its premises.
Lan Xichen, Gusu Lan's respected Sect Leader, has passed away.
How cruel were the whims of fate, robbing the older Twin Jade from them soon after Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, with their combined effort, had taken care of the grieving wounds inside Zewu-Jun's heart and helped them scar with their constant support and company; enough for the latter to finally be able to step out of his long-prolonged seclusion. The ever quiet air surrounding the Cloud Recesses had livened up a notch with the re-allocated presence of their beloved Sect Leader, who despite still looking worn down after years of lack of sun exposure and proper exercise, looked content and peaceful as he strode around the sect’s vast gardens. Even Lan Qiren had allowed a day fully dedicated to meditation and rest, disguising the joy of having his nephew back as a reward for the juniors’s good results in the last year's competition.
Soon enough, many invitations had come from numerous, smaller sects that wished to host a private celebration for the recovery of Sect Leader Lan. Reunions like these weren't uncommon, and as per usual, Wei Wuxian abstained from participating in the touring that conformed in both Twin Jades and a couple of trusted disciples, under the pretext of not wishing to participate in these ‘stuffy reunions’ despite claiming how much he’d miss his ‘beloved Er-gege’.
Of course, the people that knew him the best were aware of it being nothing more than an excuse: none other than Wei Wuxian knew best how his presence was still unwelcome for most sects. Despite the bad rumors surrounding the Yiling Patriarch were slowly, but surely, dying down as others about his happy marriage to the respected Hanguang-jun overtopped them, there was still wariness, distrust and fear in the eyes of some people who saw him pass by in the distance. Lan Xichen had only come out from his seclusion recently, and Wei Wuxian hadn't wished to subject him into possible uncomfortable situations due to his unruly character and his inability to keep quiet. At least, he’d allow both Twin Jades enjoy the first couple of official reunions peacefully without having to worry about his mischiefs for a while.
Who would have possibly thought that a beast of calamity would fall upon them right on one of these gatherings, in such a small and distant town on top of that. The beast's lethal paws and ferocious fangs had wiped out almost half of the whole town, including its unsuspecting visitors. While it was thanks to the Twin Jades that many lives were saved that night, the fallen outnumbered the living by much. And amongst the lives lost that tragic night, the barely re-established Sect Leader's was far the most grieved. The man had valiantly jumped in and saved the life of an injured Lan Wangji for the cost of his own life; a show of true fraternal love, and one that resulted in the younger sibling’s victory against the beast albeit not without a sacrifice.
It was reasonable that the younger Jade hadn’t come out unscathed against a beast of calamity, no matter how talented nor vast his spiritual power was. Without even being able to attend his brother's funeral due to his heavy injuries, Lan Wangji remained in quarantine in the sect’s medical ward in the hands of the most skilled doctors they could find, still unconscious and fighting for his life. Neither Wei Wuxian nor the still mourning Lan Qiren had been allowed in, warned by the healers that the slightest spiritual disruption in the air could lead the remaining heir of the Gusu Lan sect into qi deviation. Or worse, towards his death.
After full weeks filled with uncertainty and anguish, Wei Wuxian was finally allowed to see his husband. Lan Qiren’s devastated expression should have been enough of a warning to what awaited him inside the room Lan Wangji was in, but alas, the Yiling Patriarch felt his knees almost gave in at the mere sight of what his beloved had become, and tears filled his eyes as the healer’s words echoed solemnly within the room’s walls.
Aside from the numerous fractures that hateful beast had provoked in Lan Wangji, its sharp claws had also reached the beautiful face of his husband, disfiguring it and robbing him of his sight forever. And if that wasn't enough, the overall damage seemed to have spread to his throat, rendering him unable to utter a single sound other than the one of his breathing for the rest of his life.
“Lan Zhan. My beloved Lan Zhan. Don’t you worry. Don’t you fear.” Wei Wuxian had whispered between sobs, cadling one of his husbands bandaged hands between his. “Not matter what, I’ll love you. I’ll be your sight. I’ll be your voice. You’ll always be the most beautiful and perfect husband in my eyes, Er-gege. This time, I’ll be the one taking care of you”
The first few weeks after Lan Wangji’s wake had been the hardest for Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji would not even dare to turn towards him at his call, laying motionlessly on his bed in the Jingshi like a broken doll. That didn’t deter Wei Wuxian in the slightest though, no matter how much it hurt him seeing the love of his fade away like that. He could understand somehow, after all, the pain of losing someone that, in Lan Wangji’s case, had been the person he had trusted the most and with whom he shared the same blood running inside his veins. And the heavy guilt he must be feeling, knowing that his only remaining and direct family had sacrificed himself right before his eyes for him to live on, just like his shijie had done for him in the past.
So, both in honor to Zewu-jun’s sacrifice and the lifetime vow he made towards his ancestors, the heavens and towards his husband, Wei Wuxian does his best to comfort and take care of Lan Wangji every single day, at every single hour.
He made sure to fill in the silences between them like he had used to numerous times throughout their lives, no matter the lack of an answer in each try.
He washed his husband’s hair and body with the gentlest touch he could muster; he dressed and reapplied the bandages that covered his grotesque wounds, promising that he loved every single one of them because they were part of Lan Wangji.
He spoon fed the younger and now lonely Jade, making sure that his congee was always the right temperature for him to not choke on, never allowing himself to falter when Lan Wangji would not even open his mouth at the first couple of days.
He played Wangxian at morning and at night; a version that was softer and calmer than the original, but in which he still poured in all the love he felt towards Lan Wangji nonetheless.
The juniors also helped him with all his tasks. Lan Sizhui, now much older than the time Wei Wuxian had been brought back into the living, took care of their obligations as teachers with lecturing the younger generations and grading their tests. On the other hand, Lan Jingy took care of the more practical part, having followed Wei Wuxian’s steps more closely, leading the youngins’s night hunts with the expertise that’d make his senior proud. Wen Ning supported the latter during said hunts, making sure that all the disciplines stayed safe while their most reliable teachers weren't around.
It took a long time, but their combined efforts finally seemed to show as, little by little, Lan Wangji started to incorporate back into his obligations and regained his will to strive forward. Slowly, he began to sit up on his own and fed himself without the help of anyone. Thanks to his high cultivation, his wounds healed quickly and it wasn't hard for him to eventually be able to walk without Wei Wuxian’s constant presence and steady hands, ready to reach out in case his husband tumbled over or met an obstacle.
He’d never be able to grade papers or give lectures anymore, but as he grew accustomed to his blindness, Lan Wangji was soon able to participate in night hunts again as well, first under Wei Wuxian, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi’s worried watch. But it became evident to them that no matter what ailment dared to hinder their Hanguang-jun, the later was talented and experienced enough to not allow them dull his movements and the sharpness of Bichen as he slashed into the fierce corpses. Sometimes, though, he’d still act disoriented, fumbling on his step when a junior addressed him or whenever Wei Wuxian leaned onto his side, wrapping his fingers around his, but it was to be expected. After all, he must be all the more sensitive to sounds than he used to with all of his senses still intact.
There was a detail that saddened Wei Wuxian, and it was how scarce their touching and overall intimate interactions had become even after his husband’s physical recovery. If he knew any better, he’d guess it was either the mourning that still preoccupied Lan Wangji’s mind that didn’t allow any space for lust, or the fact that, just maybe, he was worried that Wei Wuxian wouldn’t love him anymore with the scars that remained on his body after the tragedy. The former Yiling Patriarch cursed himself and his insufferable mouth, having proclaimed his admiration at Lan Wangji’s beautiful and jade-like face out loud so many times that, maybe, he had made his husband self-conscious about it.
Regardless, it was only a matter of time until his restrained loneliness exploded, many nights after. The insecurity and anxiety that resulted from the lack of any sort of show of affection from Lan Wangji had admittedly made Wei Wuxian’s patience run thin, and he had reached a point where he just couldn’t keep smiling and think everything would be alright if he waited more. Worse, he feared that Lan Wangji resented him from not accompanying him and his older brother in that fateful night, as his presence might have resulted in a victory without the heavy loses the original events that transcurred had ended up with. If he had been more shameless or insistent, maybe… maybe they’d have saved themselves from all this suffering and pain.
“Lan Zhan. Er-gege. Do you hate me? Don’t you love me anymore? Has this husband failed you in any way?”
Wei Wuxian hates himself for how his voice trembles as he asks; for showing this kind of weakness when Lan Wangji surely is suffering more than him. But it’s because it’s Lan Wangji that he can show him this vulnerable, pathetic side of him. The trust and love he felt for the man was so vast as the ocean and the open skies, rendering his heart bare and yearning for a single, reassuring touch from him.
“Please. Please. I miss you, Lan Zhan. I miss your eyes. I miss your voice. Don’t make me miss your touch as well.”
And as if the heavens had answered his prayers, he feels a warm palm reach for his cheeks. The movement seems unsure at first, but as Wei Wuxian leans into it and more hot tears fall from his lashes, it becomes firm and determined. Wei Wuxian can’t help but to seek for his husband’s lips, savoring the sensation as he surrounds his neck and pulls him closer to never let go. He won’t be ever able to read Lan Wangji’s emotions again through the golden orbs he had loved and still does despite their eternal absence, but Lan Wangji’s body.. It never lied.
They made love that night; and it felt that it was their first time all over again with Lan Wangji’s blind fumbling and rigid movements. But Wei Wuxian never tired from peppering kisses to his forehead and brows, holding the white ribbon with the cloud motif he pulled from around the other’s head close to his heart as he whispered encouraging words and proclamations of love.
And so they did the next night; and the next. By taking baby steps, Wei Wuxian’s husband slowly returned to what he used to be prior to the death of Lan Xichen, seeming finally able to move on from the loss that had weighed his heart so heavily. Wei Wuxian and the juniors including Jin Ling, and even Lan Qiren, seemed to be content and relieved to see the more familiar semblance of their husband, role model and nephew, respectively.
Thus, months pass and their lives settle into tranquility and fulfillment, with the company of their loved ones and the peace that now reigns in the cultivation world. The old wounds might never fade, but they will strive towards the future and happiness, together. That’s what Wei Wuxian believes, as he cuddles against his sleeping husband’s embrace, playing with his long, elegants hands after another round of intense love making while humming their song contently.
Then, something makes Wei Wuxian’s breath come to a stop. His eyes scan the hand between his fingers one more time. Then two; and three. And so on, until his eyes are widened so much that nothing could hide the look of utter horror that’s reflected in them as he comes into a realization.
Ever since his match against that calamity beast, Lan Wangji hadn’t grabbed his guqin once, even after it was restored from being destroyed into pieces during the fight. No one, including Wei Wuxian no matter how much he missed dueting with his husband, had questioned themselves about this; in the first place, Lan Wangji was perfectly capable of fighting with Bichen alone, never having the necessity of playing Inquiry when the juniors could take over the job while he overseed the task.
Wei Wuxian’s trembling fingers reach forward to touch the perfect, smooth surface of all those fingertips. He had grown so accustomed to the scent of medicinal herbs surrounding the man that, somehow, he had forgotten about Lan Wangji's distinct sandalwood aroma he'd become fixated with was no longer there.
The hand Wei Wuxian holds is completely void of any calluses.