Chapter Text
Namjoon laid on his bed, legs crossed, one had tucked underneath his head and the other holding the book at his eye level. He was relaxed like this after a long time, the dorm silent as the boys had gone for karaoke, the peace of completely being comfortable in your own space with mind lost in the stories woven by the words on the page had cocooned him.
BANG BANG!!!!
Namjoon jumped out if his skin, startled by the sudden loud noise.. He looked at the door confused....
BANG BANG!!!!! "Hyunggggg open up..."
Namjoon had been wanting some time to himself, to finally catch up on reading at least a few from the pile of books he bought during the last tour. So he had taken a rain check on the plan of a night out with the boys. Even Jungkook had opted out saying he was tired and had gone up to sleep an hour back. But apparently, that was not the case anymore..
"Hyungggg....."
"Its open kook, you can come in" Namjoon replied and went back to his reading.
BANG BANG!!!!! "open up open up open up....."
"Jungkook it's open."Namjoon raised his voice for the younger one, he was in no mood to get up.
BANG BANG!!!!! "Hyunggggg... Namjoon hyungieeeeeee"
Slamming his book shut Namjoon sat up, he was pissed now.. how many times did he had to specify that the door was open. Getting out of the bed Namjoon marched to the door fuming, his temper rising with each consistent Bang on his door.
"Jeon Jungkook!!!! What the hell, the door is fucking open... why couldn't you just......" Namjoon stopped shouting as he yanked the door open and finally saw his maknae.
Jungkook was leaning in the wall heavily, eyes wide and a little red.. swollen with tear tracks hastily wiped from the cheek... instant guilt and concern hit Namjoon, "oh baby... kook what happ.." and then JK gave him a dopey ass smile "Hi hyungg"
That's when the smell hit Namjoon and the puzzle pieces fit. Jungkook reeked of soju, the boy was totally drunk.
"JK are you drunk?" Namjoon asked the rhetorical question as he pulled the younger one in his room. The guilt and concern were now crashing down on the leader like waves, questions filled his mind, 'how the hell had his 19-year-old maknae gotten drunk under his watch, why had kookie even gotten drunk??, why didn't he tell anyone?? Was he dealing with something that none of them noticed, that Namjoon didn't notice...' his internal panic was cut short as Jungkook slurred out his reply..
"Yupppp... like totally wasted rig..right now..."
"Jesus, kook why did you even drink?? How did you even get the alcohol??" Namjoon questioned.
"Needed courage... and.. and.. jin hyung.. yeah Jinnniee hyungiee got me..." jk smiled
"JIN HYUNG got you alcohol??? Namjoon asked shocked.. he never though Jin to be this irresponsible..
"NOOOOO hyungieee got me... I took hyungiess... ssshhh don't tell" JK whispered dramatically..
"Oh God!!!!!" Namjoon started pacing, this was bad... his maknae had not only broken house rules but had also stolen alcohol and gotten completely smashed. He needed to talk to the boys.. tomorrow itself.. this was serious.. Namjoon's internal monologue was again cut short by Jk, who had now made himself comfortable on his bed.
"Hyungiii you worry... wor.. rry tooo muchh.. cuddle with me Plzzzzzz..."
Namjoon let out a sigh, right now he had a drunk and clingy 19 year to handle, he'll think about the band meeting tomorrow.
As he lied down next to Junkook, he was immediately grabbed and rolled over and a pained grimace made it's way to his lips as his back met the wall attached to his bed..
"Kook-ah what are you doing??" He asked bewildered.
"Cuddling hung.." JK replied as it was the most obvious answer. Then promptly burrowed his head in the crook of his hyung's neck.
It was Namjoon's first time handling the drunk maknae. He wanted to provide him a safe environment, regardless of the fact how angry he was at the younger one for pulling off this reckless act. So he pulled him closer in a side hug. Apparently, this was the wrong move because suddenly kookie turned and was much closer, plastered to Namjoon from chest to chest leaving no inch of space in between.
'Maybe he was extra too touchy when drunk, maybe he was seeking the physical contact' Namjoon thought and wrapped his hand around the maknae's waist.
Jk purred like a cat on feeling Namjoon's hands on him. Namjoon let out an amused huff, this kid will always be a kid.
"Hyung...." kookie mumbled from where he was still hiding his face in Namjoon's neck.
"Yes kookie..."
"You smell soo good.. like good good.."
Chuckling Namjoon replied,"thank you kook, I currently started using this new soap..." Namjoon froze... did he just feel that or maybe it was an accident his mind reasoned, ignoring the pit of worry in the bottom of his stomach he continued "This soap I got is handmade and..." Fuck this time he definitely felt the intentional graze of lips on his neck..
"Kookieewhatareyoudoing???" He asked in a single breath
"Hmmm.. smell soo good... bet you taste good too.." JK mumbled and proceeded to lick the expanse of skin available to him, followed by sucking and biting it at full enthusiasm.
Namjoon was freaking out. Before his mind could even process what was happening, Jungkook had slotted his leg between Namjoon's thighs and started grinding at full vigor. He could feel the hardened member pressed against him. Namjoon felt kookie's hand tilt his face and directly met the eyes of the youngest in the group, full of need and lust.
He came out of his shocked state when kookie pressed his moist lips to his chapped ones.
Reigning in his panic Namjoon gently yet firmly pushed Jungkok away by his shoulders. He wanted to scream and shout but the leader inside him, the hyung inside him that loved this boy with more than life knew what a fragile mindset the younger one would be in, how vulnerable and open he would be in his drunk state. Any kind of backlash would be understood as rejection, a rejection that would hurt and revert their maknae to the initial state of shyness and under confidence. He's always known that Jungkook had a hero-worship thing going for him, any wrong step would break this loving friendship they had built up. So Namjoon proceeded cautiously
"Kook you can't do this." He whispered softly, not a plea, not a command but yet firm in its meaning.
"Hyung... please.. please I want you.. I need you soo bad.. you can.. can do anything... but plzzz..." Jungkook begged deliriously. He tried to get close again but Namjoon held him firm by his shoulders. How much of a muscle pig Jungkook might be of bangtan he sometimes forgot that Namjoon was taller than him, older than him, and had been training alongside him, he won't be overpowered that easily.
"Kookie No!!! We can't. If you wanna sleep here you can. But that's it. We'll talk about it tomorrow okay??"
Namjoon noticed as tears gathered in kookie's eyes and fell down his cheeks, "but.. I'm an adult now hyung.. we can.. you can.. do it. I know you love me.. I know.. and I also know... th..thaat you want me.. want.. all of us.. I see.. the way.. you look at us... I knowww...." he choked out between sobs.
Namjoon was not oblivious as the rest the boys thought him to be, yes it was part of the act, part of the persona he played on stage for their fans. But as a leader he was just the opposite, he was the most observant, sharp and quick in deducing any issue, resolving unrest within the members or the management. He was also smart, yes 148 IQ book smart as well as 148 IQ street smart as well, though he kept that mainly for the management and company to prevent the group from being bullied into doing things they were not willing or comfortable to do. So when the boys had started fooling around amongst themselves, Namjoon noticed. When the fooling around phase changed into a comfortable relationship Namjoon noticed. When none of them approached him about it, Namjoon noticed. So yes he knew what the boys were up to since the last 4 months but never confronted them about it. He had thought long and hard about the situation, had given it time and setting aside his hurt and broken heart he had done what he knew he was good at, he had been the leader of BTS and stood by his band. He had thought he was better at hiding his feelings better but apparently, he was not.
Namjoon gathered the youngest in his arms and sushed him, "oh baby yes, you're right I do love you all, I do want you all romantically but we can't do this." He explained as the maknae soaked his shirt with tears.
"Why??? You love us.. we love you.. why.. why.. can't.. we do it..." Jk whined
"Consent kookie. You're too drunk to give consent..." before he could continue Jungkook pleaded again," YES, I say yes hyung... I had gotten drunk to.. to just get the courage to come to you.. to let you know how much I love you.. the others are being stupid right now.. but they also love you hyung, also want you as I do."
Namjoon did not let these words light a spark of hope in his heart. When he had first realized that the 6 of the boys he loved with all his very being were in a polyamorous relationship that did not include him. He was crushed, he was devastated, it took him 2 days of being constantly drunk and meaningless sex in a dingy bathroom stall of a club to get himself together, to accept the fact that maybe his members will never love him the way he loved them, never want him the way he wanted them. Maybe he will always be loved as a bandmate, a friend, a brother, a leader of the group but never as a lover. And that was fine, it was more than fine. Living with them, being with them, making music with them, dancing and goofing around with them.. Namjoon was content with he had.
But these words were affecting him, were tearing up the bandages he had carefully wrapped around his still bleeding heart, but he won't let this happen. With all the will power he had, Namjoon said No.
"Before you can argue again, what about my consent Kook?? I'm saying no." Namjoon explained.
Jungkook looked at Namjoon as if the very idea of Namjoon not agreeing to have sex with him was impossible. He had not even thought of a scenario where Namjoon would say no.
"You don't want me???" he asked in a childlike manner.
Namjoon wanted to bang his head against the wall. He had no idea how much of this the drunk maknae will understand but still tried anyway.
"Kookie didn't I just say that yes I love you all, and did want you all romantically?" He asked patiently.
Jungkook nodded, "but then why?"
"Oh kookie you silly boy. Do you remember the talk we had about safe sex, about acceptable and non-acceptable touches and consent?" It was a long shot but Namjoon needed Jungkook to understand the importance of consent, to understand that a No means No.
"Yes hyung, when the dance instructor was giving me private lessons," Kookie replied, the drunkenness and the horny haze was receding, making his head a little more clear to think and understand.
" I had told you that it's in your power to stop any kind of sexual activity with your partner if you're uncomfortable or don't want to continue by saying No. Do you remember that??"
"Yes hyung"
"Good, do you remember why stopping is important when your partner says No?"
" yes, because it shows that you respect their body and their wishes and not impose your decisions and will on to them and take away their human rights... I remember hyu... oh God!!!! Oh God!!!!"
Namjoon saw the realization hit Jungkook and then the horror of what he was about to do.
"Oh God. I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry... I can't believe I did this.. oh God.. "
Before Jungkook could flee the bed and work himself into an unnecessary frenzy of being a rapist and what not. Namjoon pulled him into a gentle hug, one which was resisted by the younger but soon he sunk into the comfort given so selflessly. Namjoon kept on reassuring the kid till he had cried himself to sleep. It was 4 am in the morning when Namjoon himself allowed sleep to overtake him.
Tomorrow would be a shit day.