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Seokmin breathes. In and out, in and out. His nervousness seemed to double for today's recording. He doesn't know why, but he can feel something inside him, telling him that somewhere, somehow, something's not quite right.
He wills himself to push whatever this is that he's feeling deep down so he can get on with today without any complications. Jihoon throws a concerned face at him through the glass, mouthing something like an are you okay? but he barely acknowledges it as his vision becomes a little out of focus. Jihoon must've noticed him looking dazed as he talks to him from the other side.
"If there's anything that's bothering you, we can just postpone recording for today and move it a couple days later. I can clearly see your problems written on your face and I honestly don't want to get caught in your dark cloud since I don't want any personal emotions to affect my producing. Hey, Seok are you listening?"
Seokmin closes his eyes and takes another deep breath. Jihoon frowns, so he takes the initiative to go inside the recording room where the taller is currently in and silently coaxes him out of it.
"Come on, Seokmin. You don't have to push yourself today if you don't feel like it. And besides, you only have one song left to record so pleaseㅡ" Seokmin cuts Jihoon off with a weak grip on his shoulders, which makes Jihoon's frown deepen because in all the years he had been spending with all of Seventeen (seperately now since their disbandment last year), this is the first time he has actually seen Seokmin this down and unhappy.
Seokmin looks at Jihoon straight in the eye and gives him a look that made Jihoon want to run away and cry because the younger looks so devastated and about to break apart in front of him.
Then it happens.
Seokmin smiles.
Jihoon's eyes widen, his eyes suddenly filling with tears threatening to fall any second because it was scary to say the least. He audibly gasps when Seokmin speaks.
"I'm okay, Jihoon. No need to worry. Let's just get on and finish the recording." His smile widens and Jihoon has to look away and walk out of the room with trembling hands and cold feet as he tries to shake off the horror of what he just saw.
Seokmin smiled, but it's sinister and full of mixed emotions. Sadness, loneliness, emptiness, grief, longing, and pain. Who knew that such dark emotions could actually form happiness?
But it couldn't. Jihoon tries hard to not break down the whole time they recorded Seokmin's last song off his solo album. It's out of pure coincidence that the last song they recorded is a ballad, a ballad so soulful and powerful that even Jihoon needed time to reflect on it properly when Seokmin gave the copy of the lyrics to him.
Seokmin wrote it, and he need not dare ask who the younger is referring to in the song. He knows, everyone knows.
-
They finish recording in an hour, with Jihoon gradually getting over what happened and going over some parts of the song to modify it and produce the best result. Seokmin left awhile ago, without so much as a glance thrown at Jihoon. He just said his thanks and goodbyes before heading off.
After another hour, he packs up and is about to go when he sees something glowing inside the recording room. He enters it and is surprised to see Seokmin's phone on the mini table. He picks it up and opens it, surprised again that Seokmin never bothered to change his password. He proceeds to check his recent messages, feeling a bit guilty since this is basically an invasion of privacy but then remembers Seokmin telling him that he doesn't mind everytime he sees Jihoon meddling with his phone.
Jihoon scrolls a bit and freezes at the fifth recent message Seokmin sent.
Soonyoung, I'll come visit you tomorrow. Let me just finish this last song for you so I can spend the rest of my life with you. Wait for me!
Jihoon's grip on the phone loosens, sending it crashing to the ground. He falls next to it, with his arms hugging his knees and his head tucked to his chin. He didn't stop crying.