Work Text:
Lance's POV
I sat in the medical bay with my back to the door. It was the middle of the night, so no one would be awake. I held a razor in my right hand cutting at my arm. At this point I had cut so much on my thighs that I barely had any room, so I had to go with my next option and move to my arms. There was blood everywhere, but this was normal for me. I had pretty much mastered the art of cleaning up blood.
I looked down at my arm, I had made 17 new cuts today. Once again, it was normal for me. On my bad days I'd make around 30-35 new cuts, and on my good days I'd make close to 7 new cuts.
But today, it wasn't working like it normally would. I didn't feel anything. I cut so I could feel something and yet there was barely a sting. I would normally just cut deeper but, if I cut any deeper I would loose too much blood and I did not know how to work a healing pod.
'Well...' I thought 'This isn't working anymore, I wish I had a little more time but I can't deal with this pain anymore. The only thing that will relieve it now is death.' I sighed as I stood up and bandaged my arm one last time.
I walked to the lounge where I had left my bayard after a long fight with the galra today then grabbed it, and headed to the veiwing area (I forgot what it's called sorry^^;). I stared at the space for 10 minutes thinking about my family back on earth. 'They probably already think i'm dead so, what's the difference' I thought as I transformed my bayard into a gun and pointed it at my temple. 'Should I write a note to everyone? Nah they wouldn't care anyway, all I do is drag them down. I'm weak and a waste of space.' I sighed, "Y'know this isn't a bad way to go out. I've got space in front of me and I finally feel calm knowing i'll be set free," I muttered with a sad smile. I put my shaky finger on the trigger and-
"Hey Lance why are you up so la- What the fuck are you doing!?" Keith cut himself off. Before I knew it I was tackled to the ground onto my stomach, my bayard skidded to the ground next to me as my hands were grabbed and put behind my back.
"Stop it! Let me go! Just let me do it, please!" I begged as I tried to wriggle out of Keith's grip. It was no use he was stronger than me, but if I could just get one hand out of his grip maybe I could- "Lance, just stop struggling. There's no way i'm letting you go!" Keith yelled. I stopped struggling with a sigh of defeat. "Now, I need you to tell me what the fuck you were thinking!"
I didn't speak, I was to embarrassed. 'How can I be so weak where I can't even take my own life! I knew I should've done it in my room!' Keith must've known I wasn't going to speak so he did. "Lance, i'm going to let go of your arms okay? DO NOT try and run away because I will catch you and it will make this a lot harder for the both of us!" All I could do was nod.
He let go of my arms and we both sat up. "W-why is there blood on my hands? Why is there blood on your arms!?" Keith yelled confused.
I looked down in shame and hid my arms by crossing them. "Lance." Keith said sternly. "Show me your arms." All I did was tighten my arms and lower my head more. Keith grabbed my left arm and rolled up my sleeve, slowly he unrolled the bloody bandage and gasped. "Lance, why didn't you tell anyone?" He said in a much more calm voice than before. "I- I would just annoy you all. All I ever do is talk and make jokes and a-annoys you guys s-so I just thought i-it was unimportant to everyone." Lance says sobbing. "I-i'm so-" Lance was cut off by a pair of warm arms wrapping around him. "No! Don't say sorry, this is not your fault. I'm sorry that I never noticed Lance, i'm a poor excuse of a teammate." All Lance could do is drown in the scent of Keith, he wanted this moment to last forever.
Lance slowly drifted to sleep in Keith's arms.
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It's been 2 months since that incident. I gathered the courage to tell everyone the next day. They all cried and said they felt so guilty that they never saw how much pain I was in. I forgave them all. My arms get checked every week now but I don't mind, it shows me how much they actually care about me. I feel like everything is now falling into place, sure, i'm not 100% better but i'm getting there. I never saw myself feeling happy ever again but, here we are. Keith and I are dating, Pidge found her family, Hunk got the guts to ask Shay on a date, Allura and Coran even set up movie nights for all of us. I'm so glad Keith found me, or I would have never known that I could actually get better. Huh, I guess life isn't as bad as I thought.