Work Text:
ERROR: PSYCHODIVE SEQUENCE 19 FAILED
TRY AGAIN?
The glaring red text on the screen seemed to mock Hajime, his eyes glassy as he stared blankly at the monitor. Another failure. Another worthless line of code to toss in with all the others. Another step in the wrong fucking direction. How long had he been at this? How long since he’d first sat down in front of Alter Ego and set to work? A day? A week? A month? Who could say at this point. There weren’t any windows in the room, no way for Hajime to notice the time that was passing, not that he even seemed to care.
It was an intimidating task to take on when Hajime had first began: Ten empty shells tucked away in pods. Ten people he used to know. Ten friends to save. Intimidating, but certainly not hopeless; they were still in there somewhere, Hajime knew they were. He could feel it. With a hardened determination, he had set to work.
PSYCHODIVE SEQUENCE 1 COMPLETE
It almost seemed to good to be true when the lid to Gundham’s pod had opened up. Hajime heard him groan and turned to see him grasping blindly at the edge, pulling himself up into a seated position. He looked tired and confused, but he was alive. He was alive. And Hajime couldn’t keep the tears from springing to his eyes at the sight. He got up and ran to him then, arms flinging around his shoulders and practically knocking him back into the pod in the process. Gundham had been saved.
That meant they could all be saved.
Ibuki was the next one to wake up, and then Mikan.
Hiyoko, followed by Nekomaru, then Teruteru.
‘Byakuya’.
Peko.
Mahiru.
One by one they had all been brought back. Until there was only one left to save.
Hajime had failed so many times trying to wake him up, it was as if there was something corrupted in his data, something keeping him tangled up in Alter Ego and the program itself. That almost seemed fitting, in a way; leave it to Nagito to make things more difficult than they needed to be. But Hajime wouldn’t be deterred, not by corruption, not by the failures, not by the words of the others who wondered why he was trying to bring back someone like him. He would tear everything apart to bring Nagito back.
His fingers began clacking away at the keyboard before him, erasing yet another line of code and swapping in something different.
INITIATE PSYCHODIVE SEQUENCE 20?
Twenty… Not including the others, that left Hajime with 10 failed attempts so far. This one would make eleven, should it go wrong. He truly didn’t know what he would do if it did. He was running out of codes to try, and he was running out of hope. He sighed softly as he hit the enter key before him, watching as the screen filled with green text. Hajime decided then to lay his head down in his folded arms, allowing his eyes to flutter shut. This attempt would likely be a failure, just like all the others. He might as well get some sleep before letting that feeling of loss and despair cloud his mind again.
***
“Come on, Hajime!"
“Nagito, wait up! I need to tell you something!”
Laughter from ahead reached Hajime’s ears as he ran after Nagito, sand kicking up under his feet. The beach they ran across seemed to stretch on forever, he couldn’t see the ends of it. Then again, he wasn’t really looking, more focused on the head of unruly white and green coattails in front of him. Hajime picked up his pace, as quickly as he could go, but just when it felt like he could reach out and grab Nagito’s hand, he would feel nothing but empty air. He looked up again, and it seemed as if he hadn’t gotten any closer to him at all.
“Hey, Nagito!” Hajime called out. Nagito looked like he was getting farther away from him. “Nagito! Slow down!”
“Hurry up, Hajime!” Nagito’s voice called back to him, the boy himself trailing ever further from his grasp.
“Nagito, wait!” Hajime shouted again. What once felt like a playful chase was now starting to feel anxious. Fear twisted in his stomach, though he wasn’t certain why. The farther away Nagito got, he more afraid he felt. Like something terrible would happen to him once he was out of Hajime’s line of sight. And Nagito was growing harder and harder to see as they ran, impossibly widening the gap between them no matter how fast Hajime moved to keep up with him.
Until eventually he disappeared over the horizon.
“Nagito!” Hajime’s voice sounded like a shrill cry, something terrified and desperate. He couldn’t see him anymore; he was running so fast that he couldn’t tell what was around him, shouting the other boy’s name in vain. “Nagito, come back! Wait!” Hajime didn’t stop running until he felt his feet hit pavement. The sight in front of him made his blood run cold.
The warehouse loomed before Hajime, ominous and threatening. He didn’t want to move, but something carried him forward anyway. He reached out, feeling like a puppet on strings as he pushed the door open without any resistance. Nagito laid there, surrounded by the inky darkness inside. His eyes were wide; glazed over, mouth hanging open in a silent scream, spear protruding from his bloodied stomach. Hajime wanted to say something. Anything at all just to break the deafening silence, but he couldn’t find his voice. He couldn’t do much of anything but stare as the horrific, nightmarish image before him seared itself into his mind.
“Hajime…”
He didn’t move.
“Hey, Hajime…”
The world around him began to fade, and soon everything was dark.
“Hajime, wake up.”
***
Hajime’s eyes opened, sitting back up in his seat. He blinked several times, then rubbed his eyes with both hands. That nightmare again, he thought. It was like that every time he drifted off, Nagito and him running along the beach together, Hajime calling to him in hopes of telling him something, eventually losing sight of him, and finally ending up in that god-forsaken warehouse, Nagito’s body in the dark, words Hajime never had the chance to say dying on his tongue.
His voice at the end was new, Hajime thought, finally bringing his eyes up to the computer monitor before him.
PSYCHODIVE SEQUENCE 20 COMPLETE
He stared at the screen before him in disbelief. Complete? Could it be? Had it actually…-?
“Hajime?”
Hajime jolted in his seat and whirled around, quick as he could. His eyes fell upon the owner of the voice, and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
Wild white waves and curls framed a pale, almost gaunt-looking face, a frail body wrapped up in one of the tarps that came in every pod carried on gently trembling legs, barely able to hold him up. Bright green eyes staring right back at him, alight with confusion, hope, and life.
Nagito Komaeda had been saved.
Hajime practically started to quake where he sat, feeling a sob catching in his throat as he stared. He didn’t look bloody or broken, there weren’t scars littered down his legs, or up one arm where he had taken a blade. His eyes weren’t cold and glassy. The only scars Hajime could see were ones he didn’t recognize. He looked so…
Alive.
“Hajime,” he said again, and Hajime didn’t think he would ever get tired of hearing Nagito say his name. “Your eyes look different.”
Hajime blinked at him. And then he started to laugh, a quite chuckle at first. It built up slowly, growing louder and louder until Hajime was throwing his head back, cackling up to the ceiling. It brought tears to the corners of his eyes and a sharp pain to his gut, but he didn’t care. He laughed and laughed until there was no more air left in his lungs, his hysterical fit eventually quieting down to a few soft wheezes, and then he stopped, a smile still on his face.
“Is that really all you have to say?”
“…Hi?”
Hajime almost started laughing again, but he kept quiet, finally bringing himself to stand. He walked toward Nagito slowly, almost afraid to approach. As though he might disappear if he got too close. He stopped in front of him, and reached out with a hesitant hand. His fingertips brushed Nagito’s cheek, and they both stared at each other in silence. He gingerly cupped one side of Nagito’s face in his hand, and then he brought the other up to do the same. He was really there. This wasn’t some elaborate hallucination brought on by lack of rest. Hajime wasn’t still dreaming. He wasn’t crazy. Nagito was here with him, looking back at him with wide eyes.
“Hajime, you shouldn’t touch me…” Nagito began to say, his voice soft, but Hajime didn’t let him finish. He pulled him forward, not willing to waste any more time. He connected their lips like he should have done a long time ago, before he’d let Nagito slip away from him and he’d lost his chance. He was thrilled to find that Nagito didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. He felt warm and soft and absolutely perfect. Hajime didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, heart fluttering in his chest, kissing Nagito for everything he was worth.
When they finally pulled away from each other, Nagito’s dark lashes fluttered back open. A light pink dusted his cheeks, and his lips looked just a little reddened. He was staring back at Hajime with a mixture of awe and reverence in his eyes.
“I love you,” Hajime said.
“Am I dead…?”
“What?”
“I must be dead,” Nagito said, voice barely above a whisper. He seemed to be talking more to himself than Hajime. “This can’t be real, scum like me could never deserve something like this… Hajime wouldn’t-“
“Nagito,” Hajime said, cutting him off. He couldn’t listen to him talk about himself like that anymore. He didn’t believe it, and he wouldn’t let Nagito either. “You’re alive. Everyone is alive.”
“But-“
“You’re alive,” he repeated. His hands moved from Nagito’s face down to the sides of his arms. “And I love you.”
“Hajime…” He sounded uncertain, so Hajime said it again.
“You’re alive, and I love you.”
“Hajime, I-“
“You’re alive.”
“I…”
“I love you.”
They went back and forth for a while, until Komaeda stopped trying to argue with him, but Hajime kept repeating himself anyway, voice growing softer as he did. The words finally seemed to settle themselves in his mind as Hajime wrapped himself around Nagito, holding him close and whispering to him sweetly.
“You’re alive, and-“
“You love me,” Nagito finally said, voice hushed. Disbelieving and yet unable to deny it. Hajime didn’t think he wanted to.
“Yes.” Hajime kissed Nagito’s temple, fingers running themselves through his unruly hair. “I do.”
“…Hajime?”
“Yeah?”
“…I love you.”
Hajime's heart skipped a beat, and he squeezed Nagito as tight as he dared. He looked so fragile, in this moment, Hajime didn't want him to break.
"I love you too."